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'Badger and Book' by Lily Seika Jones (@rivuletpaper)

2 versions bc i cant decide

do we agree that celia is not doing all that for Jack out of some kind of innate motherly instinct, some need to care for that child she was given, but that she's doing it because the identity she was given as a mother has to mean everything to a person who got stripped of all she was over and over, who cannot remember if she ever was a mother in the first place and cannot afford to care, it's something to hang onto that she cannot let herself be divested of, and that's way more believable and interesting to me than just saying "she has to protect her kid"

forgive me lord for I have imagined a life far more soft and tender than the one you created for me

"Blisters and bedrock" and The Flashback

So I know the flashback scene with Felicia in s2e5 is controversial. So I wanted to take the time to understand it properly, and do a close rewatch.

And I realized that even though I watched the episode like four times before, I never properly evaluated what was going on with Vander, I wasn't thinking of him as a character in his own right, just as a symbol of Vi and Jinx's past, and hence I didn't understand the scene until now.

Of course, it's all about "blisters and bedrock". That phrase is the name of the episode, the line is repeated three times, obviously it's important. So what does it mean?

The first time we hear it, it's in Vander's garbled memories. The memory that's most impactful to him is the failed rebellion on the bridge and its aftermath.

There's fighting, there's Silco looking at him sadly, with almost child-like sadness, there's Felicia's dead body, then Vander trying to drown Silco.

Those memories are followed by his recent experience killing the enforcers at Stillwater, then by seeing Powder, and a still-blurry image of Vi, even though he hasn't actually seen her yet since he awoke as Warwick, almost as though Powder's presence implies Vi.

Then there's the image of Felicia at the jukebox, and then a disfigured Silco, toasting "blisters and bedrock". It's ghostly, almost accusatory, said as Vander's being faced with the gory injury he inflicted. But what it means is a mystery.

The next instance of the phrase is in Vander's apology letter. He gives his little explanation for his actions, and signs off, "blisters and bedrock." Still not super clear. The letter itself is kind of weak, as far as apologies go. And then there's this cryptic phrase at the end.

Finally, Warwick/Vander is drawn to the girls by the scent of Isha's blood. When he first sees Vi, she almost looks like a two-headed creature from his POV shot, with her massive gauntlets looking sort of like heads, with the glowing hextech gems as their eyes (And I think I need to make a separate post about Vi in this episode, because it's so good). They fight. But then she lowers her guard and he sees her, and that's when we get the full flashback.

Right off the bat, it's established that Vander and Felicia are close. He knows that the song she picked has some special significance. The way they look at each other is kind of flirty too.

They're celebrating the opening of The Last Drop, which they intend to be a pillar for the community of the Lanes (which is a very shop-local approach to politics, but whatever). We knew this was Vander and Silco's endeavor, and Felicia is the only other one there, which means she has a special place in their lives.

Silco is largely passive in the scene. We get a cute little bait-and-switch where it seems like he's going to be a super-serious revolutionary, but then he says something playful instead ("I'm bozo one"), so we get a glimpse of what he used to be like, and what the dynamic of his relationship with Vander was.

And then we get to the reveal that Felicia is pregnant. Now, I think what happens next has been twisted through discourse, so I want to quote it directly:

Felicia: The second I told you I put you on the hook. You two are going to figure this Zaun thing out. I don't care if you have to carve it out of the bedrock covered in blisters. You're not allowed to fail anymore. For her. For me. Vander: What’s the point if we can't raise an ankle-biter or two? Silco: To Zaun, then. Blisters and bedrock.

I've seen people characterize this as Vander and Silco promising to look after Felicia's child. It's not that at all. She's not telling them to look after her kid. She's telling them to succeed at winning independence for Zaun for the sake of her child.

"I don't care if you have to carve it out of the bedrock covered in blisters. You're not allowed to fail." That is: Do whatever it takes. Even if it's hard, and ugly, and painful. That's how you'll help my child.

Vander agrees - what they're fighting for is future generations of Zaunites.

And Silco turns it into a toast. Blisters and bedrock - whatever it takes.

So now we know that in the first ghostly flashback, "blisters and bedrock" was an accusation, it was a manifestation of Vander's guilt. "We said, 'whatever it takes'. And look at Felicia. Look at me."

"Blisters and bedrock" gives Vander's apology letter new meaning too. It turns a kind of weak explanation into something much more meaningful. He's saying he'll do what it takes to patch things up.

In an episode all about regrets and missed chances and forgiveness, it really resonates.

And there's one more instance of "blisters and bedrock" being used - in the song "The Beast" off the season 2 soundtrack.

Vander isn't really able to express himself as Warwick. So the songs providing a very literal window into what he's going through is useful. The lyrics of "What have they done to us", used towards the end of the episode, are just straight-up what Vander's thinking in that scene. I don't think the lyrics to "The Beast" are used in the show, but they're very straightforward too.

Here are the lyrics to the bridge of that song:

What happened to the place where we left off Any progress erased, I was dead wrong Couldn't carve out a place, every dream that we chased Through the blisters and bedrock

Vander is recognizing his failure.

When Vander put down his gauntlets to look after Vi and Powder, he wasn't keeping a promise to Felicia. He was *breaking* his promise to her.

The flashback frames the conflict between Vander and Silco in more personal terms too. In terms of what united them, they both promised to fight for Zaun for the sake of Felicia's child. But when those two things are posed against each other, Silco is willing to kill kids in order to fight for Zaun, while Vander gives up the fight for Zaun to protect the kids.

I think it's significant that the flashback doesn't end on "blisters and bedrock". It ends on Vander suggesting a baby name, showing where his priorities are going to be

And when he sees Vi, as Warwick, he sees the girl who he gave up the fight for. He's remembering his failures, he's tormented by his failures. But Vi, and Powder, are worth it for him.

There’s more. Read it btw

I will not be talking about how long this took me bc that’s embarrassing.

I read: "Yeah, our boss is just kinda slutty"

"Yeah, our boss is just kinda shitty, I think he's probably normal and not the dedicated servant of an evil Eldritch Eye deity..."

Elias' mannerisms in my head:

hi billie, welcome to tumblr <3

vital question ahead: do you think alice is a cat person or a dog person?

Rats. I think she likes rats.

I wanted to make this since I listened to that episode so here we go