How To Not Be A Perfectionist By Molly Brodak

Yeah and another fun thing is when someone speaks to me and I understand perfectly what they said but I can't for the life of me identify what language it was in

What they don’t tell you about speaking multiple languages is that your brain does not in fact have a box labeled Spanish and another one labeled German. Instead it has a box labeled “Not English” and sometimes when you’re talking or writing in one of the languages you speak it will just start pulling random words from that box.

[Image descriptions: four screenshots of TikTok videos. The first image is of a young person in a bedroom wearing hijab and looking distracted and annoyed. The text reads, when i cant post my egg laying oviposition bunny hybrid omegaverse fic for tdov easter because im fasting for ramadan. im so mad wallahi #easter #fanfiction #ao3 #fanfic #fandom. The second image is of the same young person with wide eyes and another user's comment: Is this a rude question please delete it. But if an omega went in to heat during Ramadan would they be permitted to you know?? Like in a lot of fics the omega get sick if they don't. The third image is of the same young person on a front lawn facing away, looking thoughtful and resigned, with a screenshotted comment from another user: Is slick halal? The fourth image shows another user comment, I want to ask what Ramadan is but if it's important I don't want to know form an omegaverse TikTok... and the same young person in a deck chair looking satisfied, with the caption you ever regret things / because I don't. End image description.]

Painted rolling waves by Daniel Abel.

I just really really love this post, y'all. Like, so much. <3

Wait, so you said that you can learn to trust others by building friendships, but how does one go about doing that? Wouldn't someone I don't know be creeped out or annoyed if I suddenly walked up and started talking to them?

Friendships are built of repeated low-stakes interactions and returned bids for attention with slowly increasing intimacy over time.

It takes a long time to make friends as an adult. People will probably think you're weird if you just walk up and start talking to them as though you are already their friend (people think it's weird when I do this, I try not to do this) but people won't think it's weird if you're someone they've seen a few times who says "hey" and then gradually has more conversations (consisting of more words) with them.

I cheat at forming adult friendships by joining groups where people meet regularly. If you're part of a radio club that meets once a week and you just join up to talk about radios, eventually those will be your radio friends.

If there's a hiking meetup near you and you go regularly, you will eventually have hiking friends.

Deeper friendships are formed with people from those kinds of groups when you do things with them outside of the context of the original interaction; if you go camping with your radio friend, that person is probably more friend than acquaintance. If you go to the movies with a hiking friend who likes the same horror movies as you do, that is deepening the friendship.

In, like 2011 Large Bastard decided he wanted more friends to do stuff with so he started a local radio meetup. These people started as strangers who shared an interest. Now they are people who give each other rides after surgery and help each other move and have started businesses together and have gone on many radio-based camping trips and have worked on each other's cars.

Finding a meetup or starting a meetup is genuinely the cheat-code for making friends.

This is also how making friendships at schools works - you're around a group of people very regularly and eventually you get to know them better and you start figuring out who you get along with and you start spending more time with those people.

If you want to do this in the most fast and dramatic way possible, join a band.

In 2020 I wrote something of a primer on how to turn low-stakes interactions with neighbors and acquaintances into more meaningful relationships; check the notes of this post over the next couple days, I'll dig up the link and share it in a reblog.

happy "everyone forgets that icarus also flew" monday. i want to throw up !

The other nice thing about the Joy of Cooking is that the baking recipes are actually quite decent. So you have a book that's half batshit insanity about how to skin an eel with pliers (I'm not joking about that btw), and half nice gingersnaps and soda breads. It's so weird and charming.

Wait while we’re all being unhinged about, like, stew. We all obsessed over the Joy of Cooking as children right. Right

[Image description: Text reading, If you've ever loved a book by a (living) author and thought hey I oughta write that author a nice email or letter or etc., and then thought nah, that's weird...you should totally do it. Odds are yer fave is a fragile anxious creature who will feast on your love /End image description.]

Whoa, is this an autism thing? Because yeah I do this constantly

(I'm not sure if I'm autistic, it's something I'm exploring)

Here’s a weird autism thing that I realized this morning—

-If a choir director tells my section to sing louder, I will do so, even if I am already at fortissimo.

-If a teacher criticizes my class for failing to take their work seriously, I will feel guilty, even if I’ve been turning every single assignment in on time.

-If a post calls people in general out for not doing a particular thing and says it’s their fault if a tragedy happens, I will feel stressed, even if I was already relentlessly doing the thing.

I need to be told separately about my personal progress, otherwise I will overcompensate and eventually end up burning myself out. As someone who puts conscious effort in trying to understand social cues, this really messes me up for some reason.

Whale Sharks (Rhincodon typus), family Rhincodontidae, order Orectolobiformes, Cebu, Philippines

ENDANGERED.

The largest "fish" in the world, this species grows up to 72 ft. long.

Photograph by karanikolov