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I missed 3days so I'll post the loser playlist tomorrow 😔

I'm eating dates rn tho, yum.

9/10 day, tomorrow I'm gonna try and draw something

I did these today will delete later (graphic design is my passion 😼):

I have a 3rd even better pic but it's kinda suggestive, features me, and isn't the vibe of my blog :p

april’s vibe: hyperfixation as a lifestyle choice

okay, so. i’ve decided april is the month i weaponize my obsessive tendencies. we’re structuring this like a villain origin story meets a Pinterest vision board. no chill, just results. here’s the plan:

DAILY NON-NEGOTIABLES (because autopilot is for airplanes)

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Mornings: Alarm goes off at 6:30 AM. no snooze, no TikTok rabbit holes. i splash cold water on my face like i’m in a montage. breakfast is ✨liquid✨—black tea, hibiscus, whatever. fasting till 3 PM because hunger is just capitalism’s way of distracting me.

-Workouts: Leg day? Arm day? Every day Squats, lunges, push-ups, planks—yes, even the thigh gap sculpt stuff. ugh. cardio is me speedwalking away from my own intrusive thoughts.

-Afternoons: Hyperfocus mode. coding lessons, Neocities updates (my 2003-core html shrine), job applications (two a day, minimum), and drawing my OCs like they’re my emotional support imaginary friends.

-Evenings: Pretend i’m a mysterious artist. video diaries no one will ever see. practicing model poses in the mirror like i’m about to walk NYFW. reading UX/UI textbooks in Italian? Sure. Phone off by 9 PM to avoid doomscrolling into the abyss.

WEEKLY MISSIONS(to avoid becoming a goblin)

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Week 1: Reset. Clean my room, delete 1,000 screenshots, make a moodboard that’s 70% anime OCs and 30% “hire me” energy.

- Week 2: Delulu escalation. Apply to jobs while listening to “I Am the Best” by 2NE1. Code a webpage that’s just a PNG of a frog. Detox Sunday: no internet, just me and my sketchbook.

- Week 3: Break the comfort zone. Post a cringe video diary. Walk like i’m in Black Swan but make it fashion.

- Week 4: Final boss mode. Five job apps in a day. Code a feature that’s definitely overkill. Compare progress pics and pretend i don’t scream internally.

WHY? Because by May, i want to look in the mirror and see someone who’s 10% hotter, 50% more employable, and 100% more feral about their dreams. The kind of glow-up that makes people side-eye me in the grocery store. Skinny toned legend who. Me. Exactly.

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Got the best birthday idea for my best friend (no, I can't laugh, I've got to hold it in 🤭)

She might be stalking me on here, but gaddyum, I'll share it after her birthday so you can see my genius 🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭

(just watch me fail do anything I planned 🧍🏾‍♀️)

Wish me no procrastination <3

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Too much to talk about, undoing my hair rn, did a sudoku puzzle 😝, might do 1 more b4 bed, I'm enjoying this.

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Happy valentines 😘💞

1/10 day for me 🤩

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Today, not much happened. I babysat the whole day, helped with 2 posters for an assignment, baked thumbprint jam cookies 😻, and had my hair done in cornrows. Overall, it was a decent day, to be honest. Now I'm tucked in my blanket, all giddy and filled with warmth. I ate the last batch at the top that got scorched, don't worry 😭.

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Ways to Shift the Angle || It's all about perspective.

1. Go outside ugly.

No makeup. No cute outfit. Just step out. Feel the wind. Notice the clouds like they’re watching you back. You’re not there to be seen, you’re there to see, aka you're right as a HUMAN.

2. Drink water with dramatic flair.

Pour it into your prettiest glass. Add lemon, cucumber, or mint if you’re extra. Sip it like it’s holy. Because it is. Hydration is a rebuke to the decay.

3. Unfollow the perfect. Follow the real.

Curate your feed like a gallery. If it doesn’t make you dream bigger or breathe deeper, cut it. You become what you consume.

My moto has always been See it, be it.

4. Romanticize something stupid.

Fold laundry like a French film heroine. Wash dishes like you’re in a music video. Make it art. You don’t need permission, you have free will!!!!

5. Make something and let it suck.

Doodle, paint, sing badly, dance worse, write shit poetry and convince yourself you're freaking Edgar Allan Poe. Expression is not a talent contest, it’s your soul stretching its arms. There so many ways to do that.

6. Touch grass... but like, really touch it.

Like fr. Sit with your bare legs on the ground. Let dirt under your nails(you can clean it l8r, it ain't gonna kill you) Be wild. You’re not a screen. You’re skin and blood and thunder.

7. Talk to yourself with tenderness.

You’ve survived every ugly day so far. That deserves softness. Praise yourself out loud like you would your best friend.

8. Write a letter to the girl you’ll be in a year.

Tell her what you hope for. What you’re scared of. What you’re trying. Then seal it. Hide it. Come back to it later and weep at your own growth.

9. Watch a movie you loved at 13.

Feel how it hits different. That’s -perspective- seeing the same story with new eyes, older eyes, wiser eyes.

10. Do something the algorithm doesn’t care about.

Learn to knit. Bake bread (!!!!). Read a dusty book. These aren’t for clout. They’re for soul.

You don’t need a full rebrand. You need a tilt. A reframe. A second glance.

Your life isn’t just a reel of wasted time. It’s a painting in progress. And even the mess matters. Every shade. Every smudge. Every layer.

Perspective is more than a trick of the eye. It’s a rebellion. A soft uprising against despair. It says, yes, this sucks right now, but it’s not the whole story. You are not the rot. You are the artist holding the brush, choosing what to do next.

I don't believe everything happens for a reason. But I do believe in reshaping the meaning of things that happen.

So next time you’re lying there, staring at the ceiling like it holds answers, waiting for a sign, turn the paper. Turn yourself. A few degrees is all it takes.

And suddenly, what looked like the end… is just the start of something strange and beautiful.

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Entry +extra!!!

Nothing remarkable happened today. I went to town, hoping to find one of those portable mini magnetic chess sets—something small enough to keep in my bag, ready to unfold on a round café table for a spontaneous game with a stranger. But that idea remained a daydream.

On a serious note, I really need to get back into chess and other brain-stimulating games. Speaking of which—guess what? I solved a Sudoku puzzle today! It reminded me of my pre-smartphone days when I was a teenager obsessed with listening to the radio on my button phone (no, I’m not joking), hoarding newspapers just to cut out the comic strips, check my horoscope, and tackle the puzzle section. I was a genius back then. We love the fast-paced internet, don’t we? :D

Why Chess Should Be as Essential as Your Phone

Think about it! How often do you reach for your phone in moments of boredom, waiting, or awkward silence? Now imagine if, instead of scrolling, you pulled out a mini chess set and invited someone to play. The game becomes a conversation starter, a test of wit, and a window into the way another person thinks. You could be sitting across from a stranger, a friend, or even an elder with decades of experience, and through the game, you'd share a dialogue that goes beyond words.

Chess isn't just a pastime, it’s a tool for patience, strategy, and creativity. It sharpens your ability to plan ahead, recognize patterns, and make calculated decisions, skills that translate into everyday life. It’s like strength training for your brain, keeping your mind flexible and engaged.

We often talk about the lost art of deep conversation, but chess naturally invites it. A single match could lead to discussions about life, philosophy, history, or just casual banter. It breaks down social barriers and brings people together in a way that mindless scrolling never could. So why not make chess as essential as your phone? The connections, the stories, the lessons. It’s all there, waiting on the board.

The Tragic Cycle of Wired Headphones: A Self-Reflection

You know that moment when you buy a fresh pair of wired headphones and make a silent promise to yourself? This time will be different. This time, you won’t shove them into your bag like some kind of deranged squirrel hoarding acorns. You won’t yank them out of your phone like you’re trying to start a lawnmower. You will treat them with care, with respect.

And yet.

Somehow.

Here you are. Again. Another pair, dead. The left earbud? Gone. The right one? Hanging on for dear life, whispering faintly, like it’s calling out from the afterlife. You stare at it, baffled. How? HOW did this happen? You were careful. You learned from the last five pairs. Didn’t you?

No. You didn’t.

Because the truth is, you’ve said this every time. Every. Single. Time. Your history is littered with the ghosts of headphones past—frayed wires, sound cutting in and out like a broken radio transmission, rubber casings peeling back to reveal the fragile, suffering wires inside. You think about how they got here. The careless wrapping around your phone. The times you let them dangle from your pocket like an afterthought. The fact that, at least once, you definitely fell asleep with them still tangled around you like a techno-umbilical cord.

And this—this isn’t just about headphones. No. This is about you. About your patterns. Your delusions. The fact that you keep repeating the same mistakes and expecting a different outcome.

Isn’t that the definition of insanity?

Maybe it’s a metaphor. Maybe your headphones die because you don’t handle delicate things well—physical or emotional. Maybe you ignore problems until they break. Maybe you see the warning signs—the faint crackle in the audio, the slightly exposed wire—and you pretend everything’s fine. It’s fine. It’s FINE. Until one day, it isn’t.

Or maybe, hear me out, wired headphones are simply not meant to last. Maybe they are built to self-destruct, to betray us, to force us into this never-ending cycle of grief and rebirth. Maybe we are all just victims of a larger force—planned obsolescence, capitalism, the cruel inevitability of entropy.

Or maybe, just maybe… I need to stop buying $3 gas station headphones and expecting them to last a lifetime.

Anyway. If you see me buying another pair tomorrow, no you didn’t.

I (edit: recently viewed a video indicating that some people may not recognize what an em dash is, and that using it could lead to assumptions of AI usage. I would like to clarify that I do not utilize AI; I merely use an em dash when it is suitable for its intended purpose.)