I Really Want Jean To Have A Moment Where He Truly Gets Over His Complicated Feelings For Kevin. To Accept

Listen, you know why Andrew loves Neil? Why Neil Abram Josten was the one Andrew would allow into his inner space, to allow growing roots where Andrew keeps the remaining fragments of his heart?

Because hardly anyone respects Andrew's boundaries. Renee does. Bee does. Wymack does. Andrew respects his own boundaries to the point of enforcing them at knife point.

But Neil? Neil Abram Josten?

He views Andrew's boundaries as sacred.

Renee, Bee, and Wymack would view crossing Andrew's boundaries as disrespectful at best and a violation at worst. They earned his trust that way.

But NEIL???

Neil views crossing Andrew's boundaries as a fucking sin. As blasphemous. A devoted disciple would sooner spit in their God's face than Neil ever conceiving of crossing Andrew's boundaries.

Some people would look at you erecting brick walls covered in barbed wire and would start looking for a good crack to aim a sledgehammer. Some people would watch you lock a door and try knocking, just once, to see if you'll open it for them. And some people would watch you draw a line in the sand and never dream of stepping over it.

Neil parked his ass on the other side of Andrew's barbed wired multi-layered brick wall surrounding his concrete bunker and stayed there, running his mouth. And when Andrew revealed the hidden door, Neil smiled, stayed put, and kept talking.

Andrew didn't fall for Neil because Neil wouldn't come in.

He fell because Neil waited for Andrew to come out, waited for Andrew to extend his hand, and waited for Andrew to lead him inside by his own volition.

And that's why Neil was the one who earned Andrew's "Stay".

Rewatched the Naked Time for Spock in that inner black t-shirt looking hot as fuck Sulu going absolute bonkers fencing and looking pretty Riley being an Irish comedian & performer Spock getting frustrated and angry and raising his voice and continuing being hot LOVE MANKIND Uhura's "Sorry, neither" to Sulu's "I'll protect you fair maiden" Chapel's beautiful bittersweet confession to Spock Spock finally releasing his repressed gay emo self and crying prettily Kirk slapping Spock to get him out of it yet him basically confessing to Kirk and Kirk's whole sad as fuck and iconic monologue and Shatner's funny and amazing acting "loVE" Spock in fact getting out of it thanks to Kirk's slaps and maybe also heartbreak and them successfuly fucking around and finding out going back in time. Absolutely amazing tos experience

when you call my name it's like a little prayer i hear you call my name and it feels like home + "i'll probably see you around?" "probably not. see you, bub." "logan." = crazy they're fucking crazy

How fucking distraught must Pike have been, to see Spock going against everything, risking his life, seeing how thoroughly Spock had this thought out…

The depth of that love Spock has for him.

Icebear!

"Hold me like water. Or christ, hold me like a knife", he put it into words the need the human desperation to be held and chosen and wanted and just be in your lovers arms to be chosen either way to submit to them no matter how they want you, to choose it no matter what, as long as it's them, as long as they want you.

Come with me down this rabbit hole if you will. The moment we the readers find out about how much Andrew cares is the moment he says "I hate you". Because of this one "throw away" line in the first book "I don't care about exy enough to hate it".

I personally think this is the exact moment HE relieved he was in love with Neil. Because he realized he does care, he cares so much it hurts. And he hates that, he hates his feelings, he hates the fact that Neil makes him feel- makes him care.

And so he hates Neil, because he loves him, because he wants him. Because he cares for him.

Deleted my earlier post cuz upon rewatch I realized Kirk did not leave the room the second Khan called him physically and mentally inferior. Dude has thicker skin than that.

It isn’t until Khan says that “we,” will live great in this new world that Kirk understands/gets confirmation of Khan’s intentions to remove everyone who he sees as lesser/an obstacle and continue conquering and rushes out.

Kirk can live with people thinking he’s inferior.

What he can’t live with is people imposing that belief on others. The tyranny. Which is why he left and tried to lock Khan in that room.

That said the tarsus IV stuff still works to add to Khan and Kirk’s rivalry cuz you have the product of eugenics vs self made captain who was nearly murdered in a genocide for being seen as less valuable.

AU where Neil never joined the Foxes, but ended up an Exites employee. He plays short one-on-one games with players who want to test their new racquets, and has inadvertently honed his skill against so many different types of players with different expertise. Andrew's group goes to get Kevin some new equipment, and Neil knows better than to play well against him. But Kevin forgets himself and gets a little too excited about testing out a new racquet, whipping the ball at Neil so fast that Neil instinctively slams it back hard enough to light up the goal on the opposite side of the court. Kevin is slack-jawed that some random retail worker scored against him so quickly and so easily and shuts down for a minute while his brain reboots. From a distance Neil swears he hears someone mutter "Interesting". Then Kevin's brain is back online and starts begging him to try out for their team. Neil realizes their is one thing worse than being recognized by Kevin Day and dragged back to his father: not being recognized by Kevin Day and trying to convince the grown ass man to get up off the floor and stop clinging to his legs and holy shit jackass, can you pretend to have some dignity??

Dame la certeza e iré a donde tú vayas

No me digas mil veces que me amas, házmelo sentir

Dime quién eres, qué quieres, muéstrate ante mí

Dame un pedazo de tu alma, la coseré a la mía

Déjame ser tu espejo, desnuda ante ti

Por siempre unidos, que me consuma esta chispa