I Don’t Think I’ve Heard Anyone Talk About It Before, But I Really Love Nora’s Writing Style In

aftg is eating up my brain so badly, I have a constant stream of ideas and I’m shit at actually writing them but I need to get them out of my system bc it’s suffocating, so:

• an au where king and sir turn out to be shapeshifters so andreil magically acquire two spoiled kids

• andreil saying to each other ‘IU’ instead of ‘I hate you’ or ‘I love you’ or anything else. they use it in every kind of situation bc it’s the testament of how much they feel about each other and that’s more important to them than anything else. they’re fighting? IU (I hate you, I’m scared for you, I’m scared of how much power you have over me, I still want you to stay) they’re having sex? IU (I trust you, I love you, I’m going to take care of you, I’ll make you feel good) they’re breaking down? IU (I’ve got you, I’m here, I’m going to stay, I’m going to help best I can)

• a fic where neil dies in baltimore and we see the aftermath told from his perspective as a ghost: introspection, character study, cannibalism, polaroids, inspired by strangers by ethel cain:

• neil taking great pleasure in buying andrew expensive things and seeing him use them, not out of possessiveness but bc he truly just wants andrew to be happy and taken care of. and andrew learning to accept those gifts bc neil never wants anything in return, not even gratitude

• neil getting drugged at eden’s by some stranger and proceeding to glue himself to andrew’s side. the next day andrew is frustrated by that show of trust and he asks how neil could know that it wasn’t him doing the drugging. to which neil replies that he didn’t know that, but he knew that andrew wouldn’t drug him or let anyone touch him without a good reason. so it was okay, he just needed to trust andrew’s judgement and stick by him. and then andrew realising just how much faith neil has in him and having a breakdown about it

• after neil’s bad days, andrew spoons neil and keeps his hand wrapped around neil’s throat while they’re sleeping. it makes neil feel safe and grounded and makes andrew drunk on trust and control (bonus scene: foxes witnessing this one day and completely failing at understanding their dynamic)

• neil getting into a habit of spitting after his time at the nest bc riko used to spit into his mouth and make him swallow it as a power play. whenever neil remembers it the thought of any spit in his mouth, even his own, makes him sick. so he spits

• whenever aaron is on the edge of relapsing instead of telling anyone he just trails after andrew 24/7 bc he knows his brother won’t let him destroy his life

• tlou au where andrew is traveling the world in search of his twin brother and he’s hired to transport neil somewhere. meanwhile, they fall in love with each other and they find out andrew was supposed to deliver neil into his father’s hands (andrew promised neil safety and he refuses to break his promise so this becomes the first job andrew ever failed)

• andreil breaking up and neil desperately trying to prove to himself that he can move on so he takes the page from andrew’s books and starts sleeping around, but he only succeeds in hurting himself and feeling miserable (they get back in the end bc I need them to be happy)

• OH MY GOD HORNY KANDREIL CLASSICAL MUSIC AU!! kevin (and neil?) playing violin and drew being freakishly good at playing every instrument he ever touches but especially the piano. kev giving a performance and andreil sitting in the first row, neil getting a hard on bc kevin looks so good in his suit, with slightly greying hair combed back and passion burning in his eyes. andrew discretely edging him on, palming neil’s dick through the fancy suit’s material and keeping eye contact with kevin the whole time

AND SO MUCH MORE AAAAAA. this is insufferable, I’m writing fics in my head to fall asleep and then I’m waking up literally quoting aftg (genuinely happened last week, I felt like a lunatic) and then I’m going to uni and I spend every lecture thinking about how I can use my degree to better write about those stupid murderous college athletes. what kind of crack did you put in this series, nora?????

I really want Jean to have a moment where he truly gets over his complicated feelings for Kevin. To accept that things were fucked because there was no other option. That Kevin still cares deeply for him even if he doesn't see Jean that way.

I also want Jean to text Kevin "Had sex with your crush. Die mad about it" and not elaborate.

I dreamed my mother killed me.

She had gotten angry because of something related with my friends, the fight grew and grew until she started screaming and throwing things, i was afraid, of course, but suddenly i started to laugh, because everything was dumb and i was tired and just wanted to sleep, that made my mom even more angry, thinking back at it, i guess this wouldn't really happen, because the cruel side would eventually come out and throwing things isn't the only thing she can do.

I dreamed it was time to go to bed and i was just miserable, but i hadn't cried, just like she would've wanted. After a comment cruel enough, a scream loud enough, a thing throwned strong enough, i lost my sanity, i guess.

I went inside the kitchen and grabbed a knife, i walked up to her and saw confusion in her eyes, with a bit of defiance, maybe; but the knife wasn't for her, i shoved it into her hands and pointed it to my wrist, i said: "You made me, you have the right to destroy me, ¿aren't you tired? Everything can be alright if you move, just a little", and she did, scarlet cascades started falling out of my wrist; seeing this she got alarmed, too late, i just told her: "If you already killed me then let me die in peace, i deserve at least that".

As i was climbing up the stairs, i woke up from my dream, my throat ached but i didn't cry, i just wished that is hadn't been a dream, so a wouldn't have to worry about everything i do, because one misstep and her laugh becomes sharp as a knife, ready to draw blood.

Wouldn't it be a perfect solution? Wouldn't she finally calm down if she threw the punch, if the drew blood? I don't know, i'm tired.

mr spock glows pink in the night in his room btw

I need to start doing things I want to do instead of spending all my time thinking about what I should be doing, or everything will lose its meaning again.

I'm gonna start going through my Andreil playlist and making more of these

Andrew Minyard Neil Josten

big fan of airing order putting these right next to each other. i think that sad little drone is in itself a tragic romance more compelling than a lot of the plots intended to be read as such in this series

Can I also say how touching it is that Stede said he believed Ed would he happier without him, who, even in his fantasies, could only picture Ed wanting him as a picture of masculinity with a beard and no hesitation to kill. Stede still, deep down, doesn't understand why Ed would ever want him as he is.

But who did Ed see coming down to rescue him? It wasn't a manly recreation of Stede with a beard, masculine style and a killing spirit, it was a merman. Someone bright, colourful, by all accounts a rather feminine perception of Stede.

That was who rescued Ed. It wasn't who Stede thought he needed to be, it was someone soft, and bright, and graceful, and expressive. Someone feminine, someone queer.

I just think that's beautiful.

I can't get over how beautiful the name "The City on the Edge of Forever" is.

I want it tattooed. I want it engraved in my soul. I want it to be a painting I can hang in my room and stare it all day long

it's always so fascinating and heartbreaking when a character in a story is simultaneously idolized and abused. a chosen prophet destined for martyrdom. a child prodigy forced to grow up too fast. a powerful warrior raised as nothing but a weapon. there's just something so uniquely messed up about singing someone's praises whilst destroying them.