New Works Of Basil Hallward (part 1 Of 2).

dulcinea septimus......big fan....

hey sexy. I can tell by the frequency of your blog updates that you are once again avoiding it all

tumblr vs twitter which hellsite will take less time to make you begin to conjure fresh & exciting ways to tear someone's heart out their chest: the question of all time

blue sargent 🌀

Who gave commander wake Facebook access???? (Unblurred + OG under cut)

these violent delights by micah nemerever — fav quotes

"Whatever I do has to mean something. I need to make something beautiful, something that lasts. I don't know what, but I have to, if I want my life to matter at all."

"Beautiful things are supposed to hurt."

"You could do anything to me and I'd let you."

"Tell me you love me, at least. Please. I need to know somebody does."

"They wanted each other in the way of flesh wanting to knit itself together over a wound."

"I kill them because they're beautiful, and it's the only way I can keep them."

"What a lonely, dreary thing it is to know the truth."

"I miss you to pieces. Yours always."

"He'd forgotten ever being angry. He felt gentle and endlessly patient; if Julian had asked, he would have happily cut his chest open and handed over his heart, his lungs, every part of himself piece by piece."

"I can't tell you how happy I am to see you" he said, and for a moment Paul couldn't imagine, much less remember, that anything in the world existed outside the two of them.

"Paul lay with his head on Julian's lap, trying to map constellations into the sun-darkened freckles on his knees, while Julian combed his fingertips gently through Paul's hair."

"They kissed each other breathless between each promise."

"They could only stitch themselves back together if they did something irreversible."

"Hard to trust you if you're going to maim me."

"The worst damage humans do isn't rooted in malice but in thoughtlessness."

"I know why you fuck me like you wish you could kill me."

"They were wild and delirious and invincible, and it was strange that no one else could see it."

"Familiar smells, familiar sounds, a life still marred by all its old fractures and disappointments."

"It was the first time he could believe Julian when he spoke this way, as if they were one mind, one heart, one pair of lungs."

"All I want to do is make you happy, and you're the unhappiest person I've ever met."

"I love you. By now you ought to be able to let me fucking tell you."

started reading aftg and don't tell my twitter mutuals but i also went on the ao3 page because i can't contain myself

making every conversation into being about The Character with the same reliability and conviction of a youth pastor going “you know who else partied? our lord and savior”

i would be feral abt t4t paldulcie

adds such a great layer to the ambiguously erotic long distance mentorship situation… dulcinea as a trans elder… i’m frothing at the mouth

SEE i wasn't thinking of Dulcie as a trans elder in this situation, I think Juno Zeta would put her her son on blockers aged 10 and be the kind of mom to have a toddler portrait tattoo redone to be like, still extremely binary but now the baby is dressed in blue with a baseball cap.

specifically I want to explore the experience of being trans and having these kind of... long distance, no faces, text only relationships where you can feel fully affirmed and the disconnect that then exists between your real world experience, and how this interacts with of course also being critically ill and not wanting anyone to see you because of that. the compounded body horror and also then, intimacy when there IS someone you trust to see you sick, see you naked, and the way that interacts with the vulnerability and exhaustion of sickness,

and there's another layer I really want to explore regarding how critical illness i.e. cancer can often impede or slow medical transition while ALSO drastically shortening the time in which one has to make these decisions. to quote my favorite movie "there is still time", but what if there isn't? what is there ISNT time? what if you're dying, and you want to die in the body you want to be remembered in, but you don't know if you'll get there? there's a horror in that. this quote from harrow the ninth:

"“The only thing that ever stopped me being exactly who I wanted,” she said, “was the worry that I would soon be dead … and now I am dead, Reverend Daughter, and I am sick of roses, and I am horny for revenge.”"

i think this would add to Palamedes' like... "i need to cure her i need to save her" and also heighten Dulcinea's rebellious streak (she wants cigarettes!!! she hates roses!!!) while also interacting with how she DID, in fact, decline Palamedes' proposal. she decided to stay where she was. there's so much here. im getting dangerously close to getting really personal here on tumblr dot com but im shaking the bars of my cage