The 0 Notes Wont Stop Me From Posting Every Single Thought That Crosses My Mind Btw. Dont U Guys Worry

little cat is sleeping all comfy and cozy next to me and i dont think ive loved anything more in my entire life?????????

i always mean it when i say i love you btw

not to get all sad for no reason but something nobody tells you about growing up is that a part of you is just a little girl who is yelling ‘please like me please love me please tell me i am good’ at everyone you meet and most of your day is just trying to ignore her

save me maximalism,,, maximalism save me

(very unreasonable) times i decided to go exploring

it was 30°F and i decided to climb the silo at my grandparents' farm without gloves (its about 60ft tall) (just exposed rungs running up the outside of it) (it was freezing) (the bottom is surrounded by concrete) (i climbed all the way to the top) (did not tell anyone i was going)

later that year, in the summer, i wanted to go find deer bones where the hunters toss their leftovers in the woods so i went in flip flops and an oversized hoodie (walked about half a mile to get there) (carried the bones back tied together in a random piece of cloth) (had the time to grab the cloth but not actual shoes) (did not tell anyone i was going)

wanted to climb a tree. went out to the woods via rolling under the electric cow fence and climbed as high as the branches could hold me, read a book (was there for around three hours) (the cows looked confused) (did not tell anyone i was going)

was starved for outside time after moving to uni, found some trails going through the woods (went wandering around on them after dark because i didnt want to miss the sun set) (had no idea how far the trails went) (it was almost pitch black when i got back) (did not tell anyone i was going)

on that same note, if i couldnt sleep id wander around campus with my headphones on at 3am (my roommate says im not supposed to do this anymore) (because i didnt tell anyone i was going)

tonight i wanted to poke through some trails i havent been on and a park off campus so i did (i had all day after class) (decided to go after sunset) (right before a thunderstorm) (as usual, did not tell anyone i was going)

I thought this just said "sun fans amiright" and i was like yeah valid

sun drop fans amiright

urgh tireb

sobbing because my wip feels too good of an idea for it to be mine

online communities are so strange because people slip away so easily. you can be on here for years, folding people you've never met into the fabric of your daily life, and then they disappear, leaving only ghost posts scattered across tumblr behind. or their blog stays dormant, for weeks, months, years, until you're only still following them because you remember that they love sunflowers or they were kind to you when they didn't have to be or the last thing they posted was sad and raw and you still worry about them sometimes.

and sometimes they come back when you least expect it, years later, even, and there's this sudden rush of relief like there you are, there you are, even though you barely knew each other.

there's a strange kind of love to it. i don't know you and i want to hold your hand across miles and time zones and oceans. i can still see the imprint of you in this community you left. you don't anyone will notice or care when you're gone, but we notice and we care and we wish you well.

i hope you're all okay out there. i hope the sun is shining on your face and you are breathing deeply. i miss you.

Okay so i listened to suggestions about Jayce being unhappy with the inflicting pain bit but being unable to say no!

hmm. maybe u were put on this earth to make art and write bad poetry and create silly little playlists and being kind and maybe tearing up a little bit when you see old people eating alone