A Rainbow Symbolizes Hope.. Hope For A Balance Between The Sunshine And The Rain.

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story. 

Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy. 20 NOV 2016

Things Done List

Today I woke up at 10am, had breakfast, organized my backpack and all of my  active folders (aka college classes, therapy, recovery, and NAMI), had lunch, took a shower, and spoke to my mom by phone. I realize I am actively avoiding reading more of my ACA textbook. I did this going-back-to-college backasswards but hopefully, I won’t be too scarred by this semester. I still need to complete the disability services paperwork for my psychiatrist to sign off and the work history for my SSI/SSDI paperwork. These are my reminders to self. I’m too keyed up from my cryfest last night to sit down and write in my paper journal. 9 Jan 2017

Same tree, just a different branch

on referring to a secondary department coworker by another coworker who works in the same department as said coworker | 31 DEC 2016

Before Dawn

Why did I have to wake up at exactly 0555 this morning?!? I didn’t get to sleep until after 2300 hours last night.

11 JAN 2017

Lessons from the mat..

I sat on the mat for quite some time imagining that I was a tree. We walked afterwards but I had instinctively known that it was time as I was starting to come back to just being a human leaning against a tree.

After walking, my friend came in sometime afterwards. I had nervous energy running through me. I imagined that I was letting go and releasing the energy. I was grounding myself.

I also had lots of thoughts about my twin friend. I still wished that they would come back into my life but that I do not control them.. only myself.. so I wished them the best and continued on with my meditation.

I felt my hands get heavy while I was grounding. I also had imagined that my energy had sprouted from my head and was flowing freely and swinging along like a thick mop of hair. It made me smile at the time.

The world is a hamster wheel. I am grateful that I can take time to sit in solitude every week to remind myself that life is a hamster wheel. I need to take time to appreciate my life and where I am and how I am living.

1 June 2017

vacation sunrise | 17 March 2017

Life Among Ducks turned 1 today! 7 JAN 2018

Cabin Fever Time

Things I wish my support team would do in times of crisis:

Question my motives i.e. “Why do you think it’s a good idea to start school after five years and especially so soon after being hospitalized?”

Remind me to look at the bigger picture: “What is next semester’s book budget in addition to this semester’s budget?”

Use ‘I’ statements: “I understand the situation to be that you want to go back to school using your GI Bill because you do not want to be a financial burden on your loved ones.”

Remind me that things will be okay and that life will be different in five minutes! This is my personal mantra and I forget it when I am in meltdown “snotty from crying so hard” mode.

9 Jan 2017

Women compose 14% of today's military forces. That number is expected to double in 10 years. Service [the film] introduces the issues faced by this wave of mothers, daughters and sisters as they return home. We want to wake up a sleeping civilian population to the challenges women face.

http://www.servicethefilm.com/

why.. hello, friend

I’ll attempt a tumblr on life now I’ve been diagnosed. It’s taken a while to understand what exactly is my diagnosis due to the length of time it’s taken me to get back to me. The discharge paperwork just mentioned psychosis but nothing else related to schizophrenia or schizophreniform.

I’m not sure if that is the experience most people go through in civilian hospitals or if that’s just the special treatment that veterans receive.  7 JAN 2017