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Please tell me I’m not as forgettable as your silence is making me feel.

Reason to Live #7281

 Because your life always has worth. You don’t need to accomplish anything to be worthy of life. Please don’t be harsh on yourself. Give yourself a chance, learn to love yourself.  – Guest Submission

(Please don’t add negative comments to these posts.)

I feel so disgusting rn I want to peel off every inch of skin on me till this sensation stops

i feel like the longer you have depression n r suicidal, the less people care

bc its like~ hes depressed rn?? he always is

he hasnt eaten?? he will at some point

hes sh again?? they're never deep anyway

he's gone missing again?? its fine he'll come home

he overdosed again?? he never takes enough tho

he tried to kill himself?? thats okay the attempts have never worked~ so it wont this time

Does anyone else feel lonesome?

Not lonely. Not alone. Just... lonesome. Like you don't feel connected to anyone. Like you never feel that you will find anyone that understands you, that will see you truly, let alone someone who will even like you. You see friends everywhere, but you don't see yourself in their place, like that is not for you, like you're not made for that and that's not made for you. You see people having fun and laughing and dancing and getting drunk and falling in love and you just... don't feel that for yourself. Like you're not supposed to have that, like you can't because it's not for you and you're not for it.

Like you're supposed to be seeing all these beautiful things in the world but not experience them yourself. Like you want to experience so much, experience everything, but be overwhelmed by it so you don't do any of it.

Like you want to be everywhere and do everything, but you don't belong anywhere and can't do anything. Like you're not supposed to be here. Not in a self-deprecating way but in an incongruous way. You want to live you want to be alive, but you feel you're not supposed to be. Not here at least, not like this. Just a presence in the world, not an active member of it. Even your body doesn't feel like home, your face isn't a face you recognise, like you're not supposed to have either. Like you're just supposed to be.

Like you're supposed to observe, but not experience.

my grandma used to recite the saying "is it better to have loved and lost or to have never loved at all?" and every time my answer would be that i would have rather not loved at all.

she would smile then, and say "then you did not love". i didn't understand what she meant. of course i had loved. i had a broken heart, didn't i? i had the scar to prove it, the inability to eat. i had loved and wished i hadn't. i loved, i thought.

and then i met you, and i fell in love and then i lost you and now i understand because i would feel this pain over and over again just to love you for five extra minutes. i would fix my heart and hand it back to you without hesitation. "look! it's all better now! you can try again" i would tell you, i would cry it out hysterically while waving my taped heart in the air. i would love you a million times knowing i would lose you and i would not care as long as i got to do it. i have loved. i have loved so completely.

mae // what a bittersweet thing to understand.

vanitas shitpost dump and a headcanon

That's a fact

Martins Architecture Office - Zebros farm renovation, Felgueiras 2021. Photos © NUDO.

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