I Wish I Could See You One Last Time.

I could hear it in your voice the last time we spoke. You’ve always been able to see into the deep dark crevices of my mind and soul

I’ll always remember that look on your face. You saw me. You’ve always seen me. And I think that’s all that anyone wants.

Benjamin Alire Sáenz

The words don't come easy anymore.

Peter Pan once told me "never say goodbye because goodbye means going away and going away means forgetting"

The more time that passes the more it feels like our sentences really ended with goodbye.

I always thought that we were chapters of the same book. But I'm starting to think I'm a fantasy while you find your home in nonfiction.

The amount of time apart is creeping slowly up to the amount of time spent together, and it terrifies me.

Pretty soon I'll be the lost boy you forgot you tucked into bed.

Sometimes I forget that you used to write about me. I forget that you loved me with the same fire that burned inside of me. I let my pain make me forget. I let my pain replace the patience and forgiveness that we once had for one another and the pure belief that you meant what you did. But your words and actions said you knew it was a mistake, I just wouldn’t let myself hear it. Until it was too late. Until we became the strangers we promised we’d never be. I forget you used to write about me, maybe that’s why a piece of my heart will be forever intertwined with the words on your tongue.

I’m sorry. I am so sorry I let the darkness take over. I was the problem all along. I told you how much I fought loving you, it seems like it was all I knew to write for a while. But it seems like no matter how hard you tried I was never ready to stop fighting. For us. Against us. I think the fire burned too hot to ever find comfort in. But if I’m being honest the memory of what we called the future still lives in a house in the back of my mind. Sometimes I step inside and I can hear the laughter over the music. I can feel a warmth of happiness wash over me. It could’ve been real. But I always lock the door as I leave, keeping that happiness right where I found it. Because I’ll never be able to touch it again, not without thousands of pieces of glass shattering all around me. Not without hearts being ripped from chests. Not with any certainty that that happiness has a home outside of my mind.

If I could do it all again … I would’ve loved you sooner. And I would’ve stopped fighting against us. I would’ve given you what you needed without the fear living in my stomach. I would’ve slapped you that night. And then I would have kissed you. We would’ve been infinite.

Je t'aime à la lune et retour ours en peluche.Quand mes yeux ouverts dans la matinée tout ce qu'ils veulent, c'est de vous voir

What a mess we made trying to prove we don't need each other.

A beautiful boy once told me saying love you is just habit, to say I love you is to mean it, and I’ve never forgotten that …

Couple years flashin' by

And I'm doin' okay

In the back of my mind

All I hear is your name

I bet you're happy and that's fine

But I regret just one thing

I never got to change your mind

Halsey

Tell me every terrible thing you ever did and let me love you anyway.

Sade Andria Zabala, WAR SONGS (via wnq-writers)

— Clementine Von Radics

One day,

That was the name of the movie I watched with my step mother. And as the credits rolled she looked at me and said “you love this movie because you want to live it with him. You want to know that at the end of your time apart living other lives with other people. That one day some how you’ll find your way back to each other, and it’ll be the two of you forever”

I’ve never heard such sadness give me such hope.

It’s easy to see now, you were begging me to love you and I was teaching you to unlove me…