“Are You Scared?” “Perfect.”

Modern adaptations of the Arthurian mythos: everybody’s covered in shit and some guy sleeps with his sister. Maybe there’s a prophecy?

The actual source material: okay, so a Kryptonian, a werewolf, a one-handed guy with super-speed, and a dude who inexplicably keeps finding increasingly outlandish magic swords walk into a bar.

(credit to Rey for the very good words)

dutch arthuriana memes fresh off the press

i produce content that is relatable to no one and makes no ones life better

Beau got so pissed when someone stole her gold… Imagine the fury (of blows!) when she finds out someone stole her friends lol

Nott headcanons

Although she doesn’t bathe often, Nott is actually surprisingly clean because she’s grown up as part of a race that cleans itself without the need of baths. She often subconsciously cleans herself as part of her nervous fidgeting - picking at her nails, her skin, her hair, cleaning her face. 

There’s nothing in her hair that wasn’t put there deliberately for safekeeping or as good luck charms.

She’s got this kind of pleasant musty, peaty smell about her, like autumn leaves.

Her eyes are big and round and slightly yellow, and they seemingly glow in the dark when near a light source because unlike humans, goblins have a tapetum lucidum, a reflective layer of cells just behind the retina which allow her to see better in the dark - aka, it’s what gives her dark vision. 

(The point above is also why I will not accept any headcanons that do not give goblins - or any races with darkvision for that matter - reflective eyes. It’s just more obvious for goblins because they have huge eyes which can reflect back a lot more light than those of e.g., dwarves or elves.)

She wears shoes, but has big, long toes and sharp nails that tear through socks and leather like butter. All her shoes have been modified to let her toes poke out because she wouldn’t be able to wear them otherwise.

She only wears shoes to blend in. She would much rather walk around on bare feet because goblin feet are very sensitive and give her a lot of information in regards to where she is, the people around her and movements (tremors), and give her added grip, balance and dexterity. 

She really likes the idea of wearing something more cute and fashionable, but doesn’t think she could ever pull it off. It’s something that is so very low on her priority list that she has convinced herself it’s completely unimportant, and it’s not something she even ever thinks about in her day-to-day life. Being inconspicuous is more important.

She sometimes casts message at other members of the M9 in the middle of the night when they’re in different rooms at an inn. It’s usually to ask some really weird or silly question and the other members of the M9 think they’re humouring her when they answer. Jester thinks she understands, because she thinks Nott gets lonely like her sometimes. Nobody understands the real reason Nott does it is because she wants to reassure herself they’re all still there and safe. 

Even though she’s eaten him twice, out of everyone in the M9 (outside of Caleb) Frumpkin will only listen to Nott. Not always, but still. She’s completely oblivious to this fact.

She’s considered casting message on Frumpkin because she’s curious if he’d be able to talk back…. but she’s too afraid of what he might have to say.

Sometimes, when she’s on watch and far enough away from everyone, she casts message up at the stars and talks to them as well. They were the first thing she had to guide her when she escaped from those dark, clammy caves where her clan lived, and sometimes they kind of feel like her oldest friends. 

–SLIGHT SPOILERS FOR THE MAGNUS ARCHIVES S3– Continuing on my Magnus Archives obsession, here’s a S3 Daisy for tonight’s cooldown.  Slowly getting back into the swing of drawing for myself again!

Kaamelott, Livre I : La Romance de Lancelot

Morgan le Fay and Sebile the enchantress, the best most almost slightly kind of canonical girlfriends from the Arthurian mythos!

ZINE HYPE ZINE HYPE ZINE HYPE!!!

Sneak peek for one of my pieces for @arthurianum zine!!! I’m so excited for this zine y’all it’s going to be AMAZING there’s so many talented artists and writers involved. I love you. 

hi guys i think its time i finally rename key arthurian texts to boost community engagement and better promote our product

effective immediately in all arthurian offices:

Historia Regnum Britannium is now Jeff’s Epic Adventures

Sir Gawain and the Green Knight is now I Kissed A Boy (And I Liked It)

Le Morte d’Arthur is now arthurian lit modern au DO NOT FLAME don’t like don’t read dead dove do not bring back as a ghost and do not call me out for gawain-bashing 200k period-typical tristan

Lancelot du Lac is now 101 Tips on Raising Kidnapped Children

The Wedding of Sir Gawain and Dame Ragnelle is now Shrek

Lancelot or the Knight of the Cart is now Logres Public Transit Guidebook

Yvain or the Knight of the Lion is now My Family and Other Animals

Perceval or the Story of the Grail is now Perlesvaus

But it all feels so much bigger than/ Some blame-filled, lonely break up/ Like all our narratives and mortality only distill to/ Oh my gd, we’re gonna die - “Archive” by Mal Blum

ID: A digital illustration of characters from The Magnus Archives, interspersed with song lyrics. Some are already dead (Gertrude, Sasha, Tim) while others are in danger (Martin, Basira, Daisy, Jon). The lyrics read “Oh my gd we’re gonna die/ We’re gonna die and it’s gonna be alone/ And no one will find the things we left behind/ Because/ Because we/ Because we never thought to leave a fucking archive.” At the bottom of the image is a pile of cassette tapes.