Some Underappreciated Vines I Haven’t Seen In Any Vine Compilation Yet I That Found Way Deep In My

Things that real life sex has taught me that isn't in porn :

Shaking during sex, no no, not her legs, him. Yeah. It happens to men too, from anticipation and excitement. I only had one partner who used to have that sometimes and the first time it freaked me out lol.

Queefing, that has to happen at least once during sex, I mean, air goes in, sorry but it's gonna have to come out.

Going too deep actually hurts, oh my fucking god lol. IYKYK. Hitting the cervix feels like ... hmmm. Dying. Yeah, death. Like I felt your penis in my actual guts and now I need to throw up because the cramping is horrendous. Thanks, don't do that again. Does the chick in porn not have a cervix or??? I have literally thrown up from this before, it is the most painful thing I have ever experienced during sex, hands down.

That he might lose his boner mid-sex, this one's a big one lol pun intended. And uh, it might not be your fault. Actually most of the time it isn't. And guys, if it does happen, please communicate, it's really not a big deal, at least not for me, Im down to help, and also I can feel it getting softer okay lol don't be lying.

Sometimes it can be painful for the guy too, this one's more common for men who have foreskin, at least in my experience.

That you can get your period mid-sex, oh man. A sad moment for all of us. But here's the thing, when you're orgasming, everything contracts, and your uterus will contract and unfortunately if you were expecting it, welp, here it is. So yeah, it happens. But that's pretty great, personally i'm able to make my period come faster by masturbating over and over, true story (only if its a day or two away).

You can probably orgasm but it's not a given, or taking way longer than you thought. I have ridden dick like my life depended on it because I was felt it annnnnnnnnd it was gone, annnnnd it's back, noooope it's gone.

Related to the last point, looking cute when orgasming, sweetie listen, I look like I ran a marathon and like Im about to die (plus im a smoker, imagine that). So that lady in porn who's like *cute voice* oohh I'm coming! ... idk about you but I don't look cute when im about to cum super hard lol.

Stopping mid-sex because you don't feel like it anymore.

Sometimes it takes forever to get a condom or to put it on, relax dude, no one's judging you, I would rather you don't give me an std or a baby so take your time.

There's no shame in asking to put a towel down, fluids, we have those, and we have a lot of those, and sometimes, some of us can unexpectedly squirt, whatever tf that fluid is, it's gonna go everywhere.

That female lubrication can have a different color/texture depending on where she's at in her cycle/if she has an infection.

Sex is smelly.

A lot of us moan louder than we actually want to, to help you out. I have done that before, when bored or when the guy was doing something I didn't really enjoy but he did. Whatever, hey at least I've never faked an orgasm, Im literally not giving you that lol if you suck, you suck sorry. Now ... the reason you prob shouldn't do that is that he's gonna think he's doing something good, when really he isn't. Then he's gonna have sex with someone else, and do the same shit, and she's also not gonna cum. Don't be the reason another lady can't have an orgasm ok.

That trying different positions isn't super glamorous. Some hurt, some don't feel like anything, some are awkward. Just because your bestie swears by reverse cowgirl, doesn't mean it'll work for you.

That it's ok to stop and take a water and snack break, sorry one sec, Im hypoglycemic.

That a lot of the time when you get fucked hard enough, you're shifting, like, quite a bit, and next thing you know you're almost falling off the bed, it's not cute, who cares.

That sex can be awkward, uncomfortable, painful, not enjoyable, and that all of that is normal.

This isn’t funny like most of my story posts but enough people have asked some for my opinions about lubricants and general tips that I figured I’d do a little master post about it.

I’m not a doctor! I just worked in a sex shop for several years and picked up a bunch of helpful nuggets, here they are.

All the links will be funny stories though, if you’re looking for a laugh.

Lubricants:

Silicone

Silicone Lube Pros: This stuff is the energizer bunny of lubricant. A very small amount goes a really long way and cannot be absorbed into the body. For anal, those experiencing vaginal dryness, or just really good penetrative sex between partners silicone is wonderful. Silicone is also extremely inert and by itself cannot cause yeast infections or allergic reactions*. Doesn’t taste or smell of anything.

*Some manufactures may add things to silicone to cut costs that could negatively impact genitals, read ingredients.

Silicone Lube Cons: Not safe with toys. Silicone lube can bond to silicone toys, this is basically always terrible. Because of its nature it can be very difficult to clean up, rags might be necessary as water will not help you much. This lubricant can feel very thin to some people who might prefer a more substantial feel. Also it can stain clothes or bedding in large quantities so having a dedicated sex blanket or towel can save sheets.

Favorite Brand: Pjur. Spendier but best overall feeling to me, nice and silky and a single bottle will last ages.

Water Based

Water Based Pros: This lube is the work horse and skeleton key of lube. If you never want to worry about what bottle you reach for, water based always has your back. It’s safe with toys, condoms, you name it. It comes in a variety of thicknesses and viscosity, there’s truly a water based lube for every preference.

Water Based Cons: Tragically, we are made of water. Human bodies love to absorb the water part of this equation, meaning it needs to be reapplied more frequently. For certain activities or bodies it’s nicer to have a lube that doesn’t need quite so much reapplication. Additionally you have to be careful of what ingredients* get added, many cost saving ones are a yeast infection in a bottle.

*Never use Astroglide, KY, or Vaseline, they bank on brand recognition and make the shittiest lube in feel, performance, and body safety. Glycerin or glycol is always a red flag ingredient for vaginal use.

Favorite Brand: Earthly bodies WaterSlide. There are So Many water based options that it’s hard to pick. This was my go to because it has a pretty okay feel but its ingredients list is short and to the point with nothing offensive like glycol to watch out for. It rehydrates very nicely if you lick it, it doesn’t throw off vaginal pH, and it’s inexpensive and easy to get. Even Walmart has it.

Hybrid

Hybrid Lube Pros: As the name suggests this is like silicone and water based had a baby. This lubricant has more body than a traditional silicone while being much more long lasting than a water based on its own. It cleans up easier than silicone and is still a good option for any type of sex except toys.

Hybrid Lube Cons: Still not safe to use with toys. That’s basically it. It’s pretty great.

Favorite Brand: Sliquid. I love their hybrid, it feels very nice with more substance than a silicone on its own and they’re a very nice brand overall in every category.

Oil Based

Oil Based Pros: Oil based is almost always on hand in either olive or coconut oil, it’s second only to silicone in butt stuff territory and some people prefer oil. Like the Roman Empire, which, I can’t blame them. Tastes and smells pretty nice.

Oil based Cons: Cannot be used with condoms. Kind of a big deal! Using condoms with anal is still a good idea but oil based lost favor when it turned out it destroys the most common modern prophylactic. Additionally oil can mess with vaginal pH. Anecdotally I’ve had people tell me it was infection after infection and others who only ever used oil. Similar to silicone, tough to clean up.

Favorite Brand: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I’ve never had personal experience with them and I don’t know which way to steer you, sorry. Messing with condoms mean that this lube has struggled commercially.

More Below, just don’t want this getting too long. (Also in case I need to add to this it’ll keep current version circulating if this blows up.)

Notable mentions for lube:

Spermicidal lube: Truly terrible for you. It causes micro tears and irritation which open you up to more disease and infections, besides which it tastes repulsive and is not a very effective preventative. Just don’t.

Flavored lube: I really don’t recommend this? Good lube doesn’t taste like anything, I don’t see that this needs to exist. Vaginas do not like anything sugary in them, which all flavored lubes are by nature. For health reasons it’s extremely Inadvisable to eat out butts without protection. If you must use flavored lube on a vagina haver try to focus it on the clit and not internally.

Condoms:

Condoms come pre-lubricated but did you know: Most condom tearing is the result of insufficient lube inside the condom? For safer sex put a few extra drops of lube inside the condom to increase sensation and decrease risk of tearing

Don’t store them in your wallet. Your body heat will break down the condom much quicker than storing in a drawer. If you’re going to carry one grab it fresh for a date.

Condoms stretch but they need to be tight at the base. Tight however doesn’t meet cutting off circulation. That’s a cock ring. If you need to wear condoms I recommend trying a few singles to see what brand feels the best for your body.

There are lambskin condoms but I don’t recommend them at all. They cannot be tested for tears, they still transmit STIs and they feel like wax paper. Polyisoprene is better in virtually every way for those with allergies.

Most people suffer from low grade latex allergies making a lot of condoms unpleasant. Latex was the first material able to be tested for structural integrity (they run a small electrical charge through it to test for breakages, neat right?). However! A new material hit the market called polyisoprene. It passes all the same safety regulations as latex while being hypoallergenic and contains much lower odor which brings me to…

Favorite Brand: Skyns. These condoms are truly excellent, smell and taste of nothing, and are just as safe as latex! The best. Really.

Anal:

Do not just stick a dick in a butt. Anal is about patience and many people have an awful first time. I cannot count the number of men who came in to ask, “How do I convince my girlfriend to do anal?” No. Start small, little plugs or fingers, and work your way up. Make sure things are relaxed and very very very like so very lubricated.

Do not. Ever. Numb your ass. Many products try to sell you on numbing your butt for anal. This is how emergency room trips happen. You need to listen to your butt, numbing it is how tearing happens.

Don’t rip out anal beads. I feel like it should be clear why ripping anything out of your body like you’re trying to start a chainsaw is a mistake but it bears repeating.

Butts. Will. Consume. Do not ever insert anything into your ass that doesn’t have a flared base. A flared base should have a perpendicular width of two inches to be safe. Don’t end up an ER horror story.

tumblr allowing titties again is cool and all but are they gonna do anything to un-blur all the accounts that have been blurred for things like titties.

more fat people in shibari! fat stomachs bound up in rope!!!! thighs bulging under complicated ties!!!!! moobs and tits alike squeezed by nylon!!!!! cmon people!!!!!

Streaming companies are the landlords of media. You will rent in perpetuity, and never actually own anything.

I made Hungarian mushroom soup and it's a little too delicious to be real

does anyone know if i can like block sites from appearing in my google images searches??? i keep getting those awful ai generated things with a hand coming out of a man's neck and just straight up not what i was looking for, because this was in a search for "curly hair in medieval paintings". it happens every time i search for anything vaguely art-reference-like and it's so fucking annoying and it clutters my search results so much. i don't wanna add specific commands to the query every time too, what i need is like a browser extension or something

Ok but like. What the fuck is there to do on the internet anymore?

Idk when I was younger, you could just go and go and find exciting new websites full of whatever cool things you wanted to explore. An overabundance of ways to occupy your time online.

Now, it's just... Social media. That's it. Social media and news sites. And I'm tired of social media and I'm tired of the news.

Am I just like completely inept at finding new things or has the internet just fallen apart that much with the problems of SEO and web 3.0 turning everything into a same-site prison?

What do you all study when you're doing art studies??