Giving Into Your Compulsions Does Not Make You A Bad Person Or Irredeemable. It Does Not Mean That It

Source ~ Autism Women's Network

What is Autistic Burnout?

Signs:

Lack of motivation (hard to care about goals when everyday life is overwhelming)

Loss of executive functioning abilities (decision making, organisation etc)

Difficulty with self care

Easier to reach overload or meltdown

Loss of speech, selective mutism

Lethargy, exhaustion

Illness, digestive issues

Memory loss

Inability to maintain masks or use social skills

Overall seeming "more autisic" or stereotypical

May have a period of high energy before collapse

Causes:

Passing as neurotypical/suppressing traits

Doing "too much", too much stress

Ageing: needing more downtime, having less energy

Changes, good or bad (relationships, jobs, living arrangements, belongings, environment, routines...)

Sleep deprivation, poor nutrition, dehydration

Illness

Sensory or emotional overload

Strategies:

Time

Scheduling breaks, managing spoons

Leave of absence

Stimming, sensory diet

Exercise

Massage

Reminders and support

Routines

Better environment/job/etc

Boundaries, saying 'no'

Dropping the mask/facade

Solitude

Absolute quiet

Creative projects, passions, special interests

Paying attention to reactions and your body

Princess Jellyfish, Akiko Higashimura

yoshitoshi ABe’s an omnipresence in the wired || 安倍吉俊の『an omnipresence in the wired』

I’m trying to figure out if I might be autistic but it’s hard, in part because while I was always bossy growing up and I always dominated conversations I was interested in, when I was about 21 I found out that some people literally asked my best friend if I was “intending to be an asshole” and that was really crushing to me so I took a course in not being an asshole basically, and learned that you’re supposed to ask questions and whatnot… and now I don’t know what’s stuff I’ve learned and what’s natural to me, in conversation.

Taking a course like that kind of seems like an autistic way to go about it though?

I have things that fit into all the criteria, but I’m not sure they’re significant enough for autism. Maybe I’m just domineering and fussy with food and prefer my current things to new things? I don’t like eye contact and I don’t like to be touched, but none of it seems to get to the extent that anyone would ever diagnose me - especially as a woman.

Sorry to dump, I just needed to share/ask for another perspective ❤️

The social difficulties is very common with autistics. And, always, it's the why you did those things that matter.

An autistic child, as an example, will dominate a conversation because they don't understand that conversation is supposed to be a back and forth... They think what they're excited about is exciting to all those involved and therefore are having a conversation. Because conversation is just talking, right? And now, these people get to learn all that you know!

There is also an element of difficulty concentrating on a conversation. An autistic, on average, can follow a conversation for about 5 minutes before they will start to struggle (or so my therapist told me and it's definitely true for me). Not necessarily because we find the conversation boring, but because social interaction isn't innate for us, so we're using twice as much energy to process what's being said to us.

Other neurodivergences, such as ADHD, can also struggle with conversation, but usually due to hyperactivity (getting excited by what's being said, getting stuck in something that was said and needing to talk about it, talking fast and/or loudly etc).

So, to a neurotypical, they don't see that we're "having a conversation" with them... They see someone not letting them talk. Even though we're enjoying ourselves and showing love and friendship. NTs don't see that.

And then to struggle to concentrate when they finally do get to talk? What asshole behaviour... except it's not. It's just how our brains work. We're not wanting to struggle.

Most kids are forced to mask this either by scripting, mirroring, or reading books. I learnt by scripting, and it's fucking exhausting.

So how can you tell if this is something you learnt naturally or masking?

Are you constantly checking yourself during conversations?

Are you hyper aware of how much time to speak, cutting yourself off if your alloted time is up?

Do you ask standardized questions to start the flow of conversation?

Do you force yourself to avoid special interest topics or have to force yourself to stop talking, even if the other person shows interest, out of fear you're hijacking the conversation?

Are you unable to actually tell if someone is interested in what you're saying, so you assume they're bored so as not to insult them? You fear breaking whatever conversation rules you have been taught?

The above are very very common with autistic masking and scripting.

dead fairies

Looking at your OCD posts have caused me to think more deeply about some things that I have considered before. Do you have any suggeastions for sites to reasearch about OCD?

yeah of course! I’ve tried to include a broad variety of types of resources, but if you want something more specific, please let me know!

here’s the DSM and here’s the ICD

here’s the International OCD Foundation

here’s the NHS page for OCD

here’s a video John Green made about OCD (which I personally found super helpful)

here’s an academic article about OCD vs psychosis

and here’s a blog written by someone with OCD

hope this helps!

For some reason I couldn’t actually answer the ask with the emojis, but this is for the anon that requested: Sensory overload? As a word or an actual emoji would be good

This took a while since it was hard to decide on what symbolism to use (I experience sensory overload myself, but it was still difficult haha), but here you go!

[ID: three emojis: two faces, and one word emoji. The first two are of an emoji face experiencing sensory overload, represented by warped radar-like waves from all angles. The first has a distressed expression, while the second has a dull, neutral expression. The third is the phrase “sensory overload” written in purple bubble letters. /End ID]