Dont Tag Bible Stuff As Mythology God Isnt Mythology

I want to be the first person on the moon to shoot a sniper rifle at earth and hit a wasp nest.  my whole life so far is leading up to that moment

the purpose of friends is to have people who unconditionally hate your shitty exes & relatives. like maybe YOU have a complex relationship with your father but i sure don't. i'm outside his house with a gun. he's not the unforgivable asshole who raised me he's just an unforgivable asshole

“average person eats 3 spiders a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

I want one of those scenes in a dude bro film where “tomboy” chick has to wear a dress to go undercover or whatever, but instead of the guys drooling as she walks down the stairs, they’re like “k. U need to stop. Go put the cargo pants back on. You look super uncomfortable and awkward in that. Brutus, you go be the fake prostitute.”

i wish i was a cishet guy so that i could start a podcast and go to the gym and allow that to fulfill me spiritually. but instead i have these visions

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine "Past Tense, Pt. 1"

TFW femnatural all together :)

So, when it rained a lot the other day the front pasture got pretty flooded and when I called the babes up for breakfast Houdini was walking around the “pond” and went to go stand on his board that he loves to stand on and it started to move and that’s the story of probably the first horse who ever surfed. 

okay but this is how hellers can still win