Wilbur Soot - Blog Posts

There is in fact, not a designated "responsible friend" in the Bench Trio. The title is passed with the braincell like a game of hot potato from Tubbo to Ranboo depending on the situation, with it grazing Tommy every now and then

Tommy: Ranboo, this is my brother.

Tommy: Wil, this is my Ranboo. Wait-

Ranboo: Hi, I'm his Ranboo! :D

asks and submissions are appreciated!

"Stop saying adult words around me, Wilbur."

~Ranboo

““i could just listen to ranboo talk all fucking day””

— wilbur soot the beloved

Charlie, setting down a card: Ace of spades.

Wilbur, pulling out an UNO card: +4

Charlie, slamming a Pokemon card down on the table: JOLTEON I CHOOSE YOU!!

Philza: W- What the actual fuck are you playing??

Wilbur Soot: Hey Tubbo, have you seen Tommy around?

Tubbo: No, what's up?

Wilbur: Tommy messaged me saying "I hate men women are poggers" and I answered back "You're a man though" and he replied "I can fix this, give me a minute" so I asked him half an hour ago what he meant by that, and he still hasn't answered.

Wilbur: I'm not worried about him or anything, but I still don't know what that means.

Tubbo: It means he needs a minute to fix it :3

Wilbur: Yes but what does that mean???

Tubbo: I dunno how to explain it better, Bossman, he just needs a minute to fix the problem.

Wilbur: ...Forget it. Ranboo-

Ranboo: Just give him a minute Wilbur, he'll fix it :3

Phil: Who the fuck added me to a fucking group chat?

Techno: Language

Tommy: Yeah Phil, watch your fucking language

Wilbur: OKAY, WHO TAUGHT TOMMY THE FUCK WORD?

Tubbo: 'The fuck word'

Ranboo: Seriously? You guys use the f word all the time.

Phil: Oh my gods he censored it

Tubbo: Say fuck, Ranboo

Tommy: Do it, Ranboo. Say fuck.

Philza: We’ve been conducting an ongoing study to see what Wilbur will and will not eat. Techno: Grass? Yes! Philza: Moss? Yes!! Techno: Leaves? Ohh, yes! Philza: Shoelaces? Strange but true! Techno: Worms? Sometimes! Philza: Rocks? Usually nah. Techno: Twigs? Usually! Philza: Tommy's cooking? Inconclusive! Tubbo: How did you… test this? Philza: You just hand him stuff and say ‘eat this’ and if he eats it, he eats it. Tubbo: ... I don’t know how to feel about this. Tommy: IS THAT WHERE ALL MY SPARE SHOELACES WENT?

DSMP Characters as cc!Ranboo quotes

Sam: “no juice for those who live in solitude”

Tommy: “so like… when is it my turn to be happy?”

Badboyhalo: “if you’re listening to an inspirational speaker your life is probably not good”

Technoblade: “actually i haven’t done anything wrong ever and you can ask my apologists about that” (bonus: “pickaxe power”)

Quackity: “don’t quote me on that because i am right” (bonus: “dont run with scissors except for when you do”)

Dream: “this ones double sided!” (bonus: “all the nuts and the wrenches are just loose in the box”)

George:  *spins in a chair doing absolutely nothing for five minutes*

Sapnap: “i feel the overwhelming urge to scream at every single moment”

Tubbo: “is this a detonator? this looks like i could just press the button and– *presses button*”

Fundy: “avoid daddys love!”

Punz: “what i want you to do if you sponsor me is give me free stuff and then require me to never talk about your product again”

Wilbur: “yeah- more more more power poWER POWER”

Philza: “i am going to KILL my own child.” (bonus: “do not pay to adopt me”)

Puffy: “im pretty sure i can just do this. *fails* nope never mind i cannot do that.”

Foolish: “as long as they help us make tastier cakes i really do not mind having my soul taken. [pause] i do mind having my soul taken actually.” (bonus: “how did you die so quickly?”)

Jack: “woah there i bet you didn’t expect me to come from the floor”

Ranboo: “take deep breaths? i am… dying already”

Bonus Alyssa bc idk who she is but she used to be on the server: “i need to stop playing minecraft”

Wilbur: A Syndicate is a group of people with a singular goal. Almost like a government.

Wilbur: *Looks deadass at the camera, very knowingly*

Tommy: I mean, small creatures are way more vicious. It’s because their anger has less space to be bottled up in.

Wilbur: That’s ridiculous! Give me one example.

Tommy: Spiders.

Phil: Wasps.

Techno: Terriers.

Ranboo: Tubbo.

Everyone: *silence of stunned acceptance*

Random origins headcanons

Wilbur leans firmly into the whole “ghost” bit now, but when he was younger, being called a ghost kinda rubbed him the wrong way. He firmly believes that, while phantoms are real and based in science, “ghosts” are not and he’s conducted several investigations into their existence to prove it. However he still enjoys ghost-hunting as an activity to do with friends, even if he knows it’s a pointless venture. Everyone else is just amused by the existence of a ghost-hunting ghost.

Adding onto this post, Fundy occasionally spits things up by accident. Everyone could be chilling around the Pube, relaxing after a hard day’s work, when Fundy starts choking on his drink and next thing you know Scott discovers what happened to his fortune 3 diamond pick that went missing. If Fundy steals something from you and you’re desperate enough to get it back, just pick him up and start squeezing him like a squeaky toy. You might not find exactly what you’re looking for, but you’re sure to get plenty of other random shit.

Also Fundy’s body works with absolute cartoon logic- to store larger items in his stomach he can unhinge his jaw, and as he swallows it his body will momentarily retain the shape of the object before shrinking back down to its normal size.

Charlie is semi-solid, so he can also store things inside himself by just shoving them through his skin, but they always get covered in slime. Also unwanted things can end up in there so sometimes he’ll just be walking around full of rocks and twigs, maybe a squirrel or two.

Ranboo has noodle arms which he can extend the length of at will.

If he’s out at night or while it’s raining, Tubbo gets really weak and tired and sometimes just passes out. One time Ranboo got caught in the rain and forgot about this, so he messaged Tubbo asking him if he could bring an umbrella. He waited beneath a tree for nearly thirty minutes before Tubbo finally came slowly buzzing up, handing him the umbrella before immediately passing out. Ranboo, grateful but a bit exasperated, carried him home beneath one arm.

Tommy compulsively makes flower crowns when he’s upset (which is pretty often). Tubbo has a chest full of them and is almost always wearing one (for the saturation ofc).

The only way for Tommy to sneak up on someone is by slow-falling onto them because his chicken talons click every time he walks.

Jack has “hair” like Hades from the Disney Hercules movie- it’s a little flame on the crown of his head that can be extinguished, leaving him bald. Jack honestly doesn’t mind it when his hair goes out, but everyone else finds it hilarious for some reason.

Jack’s glasses are prescription because netherfolks’ eyes are generally more sensitive to bright light.

Scott’s eyes normally glow, but when he gets paralyzed and blinded by damage they temporarily fizzle out. Also when he falls back to earth after using his jump boost, he sometimes gets a little comet tail trailing behind him.

Scott likes to hang out both on the roof of the Pube and near the void because the unobstructed view of the stars reminds him of home.

"Stop trying to make cursed shit canon, we have Will for that"

- Phil @ Tubbo

this is the energy i need to see c!ranboo give wilbur when that zombie tries to slander him

Funny c! Wilbur and Ranboo Rivalry

Wilbur: Ranboo is a spineless asshole who stands for nothing in favor of pleasing people for cheap adoration, I loathe him, we're foils for one another.

Ranboo: Hey Wilbur, here's a totem of undying, I know you're just feeling what it's like to be alive again and now you can be extra safe.

Ranboo: Hey Wilbur, I'm just here to drop of something for Techno- Oh geez are you cold? I can bring you one of my spare blankets if you want.

Ranboo: Hey Wilbur, sorry Phil and Techno are out doing stuff, here's some tea, this is how Phil said you like it.

Ranboo: Hey Wilbur, I just made some cookies and I need a taste tester, you want some?

Wilbur: I detest him, truly I do.

“Ranboo makes me feel safe, I’m going to Ranboo”

- Wilbur, wholesome

Ranboo: I CAN'T DO IT!


Tubbo, laughing: I CAN'T EITHER!


Ranboo: I CANT FUCKING DO IT ANYMORE


Wilbur: WELL I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, YOU CAN EITHER GIVE UP NOW, OR YOU CAN FIGURE IT OUT. BECAUSE WE CERTAINLY CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT YOU, AND WE KNOW YOU CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT US.


Ranboo:


Ranboo: I appreciate it,


Ranboo: BUT LOOK WHAT WE'RE DEALING WITH-


Techno: Ranboo-


Ranboo: YOU GOTTA DRAW THE LINE SOMEWHERE!


Philza: Ranboo we gotta-


Ranboo: YOU GOTTA DRAW A FUCKING LINE IN THE SAND. YOU GOTTA MAKE A STATEMENT.


Ranboo: YOU GOTTA LOOK INSIDE YOURSELF AND SAY 'What am I willing to put up with today?'


Ranboo, motioning to Tommy: NOT FUCKING THIS

sad revived wilbur hcs are out ive just decided, a week after wilbur gets revived tubbo and ranboo get waken up by a noise on the roof of the mansion and theyre all freaked out n shit because what if that was dream? or even the eggpire folks??? something's wrong and michael might be in danger

and they finally get up to the roof with their full netherite armour on, stacked with potions and swords in their hands. only to find wilbur there, busting into the apiary that foolish built so he can say hi to all the bees. he's getting stung by a bunch of them but god he just wanted that honey so much and it's been so long since he's heard this much sound

ghostbur, waking up: where am i?

dream, sarcastically: heaven.

ghostbur: oh...

ghostbur:

ghostbur: didnt think you'd be here.

-some more alive Ghostbur shenanigans-

Ghostbur: Did it hurt when you fell?

Revived Wilbur *on the floor*: From what? The pedestal I put my self worth on or in love?

Ghostbur: Oh dear... um... as much as I'd Love to save your Ego... YOU JUST FACE PLANTED DOWN A FLIGHT OF STAIRS!

-

Revived Wilbur: I am having- and this is crazy, I'm having feelings again! Like some 14 year old kid or something, I- you remember feelings right?

Ghostbur: ... yeah I have feelings every single day of my existence...

Revived Wilbur: Do you?

Ghostbur *growing distressed*: Are you saying you don't have feelings?!

-

Revived Wilbur: Doesn't mater! There are only 4 rules you need to remember. Make the plan. Execute the plan. Expect the plan to go off the rails.... Throw away the plan.

Ghostbur: There was a plan?

-

Ghostbur: *playing with Friend in a flower field*

Revived Wilbur: *crunch*

Ghostbur: ...

Revived Wilbur: ...

Ghostbur: Spit it out...

Revived Wilbur: *crunch-crunch-crunch*

Ghostbur: DON’T CHEW FASTER–

AAAAAAAAAAAAAA i fucking HATE it when someone ive loved and supported for years turns out to be a shitty person, like it just makes me feel like a completely shit person for supporting them even when i didn't know that they did fucked up shit

(yes i am talking about the wilbur soot situation)