Tom Holland Imagine - Blog Posts

still love you ✧ t.holland.

summary: he still love her, and that's all he really know.

warnings: crying(?, cheating mentions, bad memories, i think that's all; let me know if there's another one!

a/n: sheesh, this took me days but i'm so happy with the result, make sure you read part one first! requests are open. as always, english it's not my first language so sorry about any mistakes. take care of yourself pls. (not my gif) <3

°•°•°•

"Don't forget to put the pink dress and the white boots. be ready in fifteen, please." Bella, your assistant said and closed the door to your dressing room so that you could change before the show.

It had been about a month since that fight where you and Tom broke up. As soon as your friends arrived, you packed your things and went to your old apartment. You hadn't heard from Tom in all this time, only when you happened to ask Sam or Harry when all of you hang out.

You got dressed as fast as you could and being careful not to mess up your hair. Five minutes before you left, your phone screen lit up, displaying a message from Maggie.

You opened the message as quickly as possible and as soon as you read the title of the note that your friend had sent you, you moved your finger without reading the text and go directly to the photos. It was true, the photos showed Tom outside a restaurant with a blue hair girl, and it seemed that they were together, very close.

Leaving Tom in the past was something that cost you a lot and it certainly still did, because you couldn't erase your feelings so easily overnight. You felt your eyes start to get wet, but you raised your head trying not to let the tears fall, at least not three minutes before going on stage.

Three knocks on the door alarmed you and you quickly regained your posture. "You're ready?" Bella asked and you got up to open the door and see her holding a small board in her hands. "Good, Jimmy it's already in the studio, let's go."

This interview was the first you would give after your most recent breakup, and for a fact you knew that the questions related to your ex were not going to be lacking. "Please, give it up for Y/N Y/L!" Jimmy announced and screams filled the study as you approached the couch. "How are you?" he asked kindly once you were sitting on the couch.

"Very good and you?" you returned the question with kindness.

"Great now that you're here," he gave you a smile and clasped his hands to begin the interview. "But enough about me, you recently finished your tour, how does it feel to finally rest?"

"Well, it's really awesome to finally sleep in a bed and not in a bus tour," laughter from the audience rang out at your comment, making you smile. "But, I have to say I kinda miss traveling the world and seeing so many of my fans."

"So have you spend time with your loved ones?" he asked and with that phrase, you already knew where all this was going.

"Yeah, i have. yesterday i went out with Harrison and Sam, you know, just to catch up some things." you smiled sideways and looked for those mentioned in the audience, they just made a funny face towards you.

"and what about Tom?" the question made you come out of your bubble and go back to the interview. "because we haven't seen you two together on your instagram stories or something like that, even, some fans are saying that he didn't show up to your last concert." this last information took you back to the night where it all ended, making your heart clench a bit. you swallowed before answering.

"Yeah, well, um," you started to play with your fingers, feeling the nervousness rush through your blood. "We don't talk anymore."

"Are you saying that you two break up?"

"Yeah, we did." you responded in the driest way possible to prevent the feeling from winning you over. "About a month ago, i think." the screen behind you light up, and your first instinct was to turn to see what it was about, but you regretted it the moment you saw what was projected.

"So you aren't this girl?" Jimmy asked while pointing with a control to the girl who was with Tom in the photos of the article, before answering, you turned to see Harrison and Sam in the audience, who only raised their shoulders to show that they had nothing to do with that.

"No, i'm not," you denied and resumed your initial position. "I mean, our haircolor it's different and she's holding a beer wich i usually don't drink, so." you raised your hands and folded your arms at the height of your shoulders. the interview continued until the cameramen announced that they were going to a commercial break. Harrison and Sam approached you as quickly as possible as did Bella.

"We didn't know that they would show the photos." Harrison quickly said and put his hands on the sides of your arms.

"It's fine," you smirked and then put your gaze on Bella's face, who was behind Harrison. "You know what songs I'll sing?" your presentation would be in twenty minutes and the songs were still to be chosen by Jake, your manager.

"Yeah, um," the girl quickly flipped one of the sheets on her chart to see the schedule. "London Boy and Mr. Perfectly Fine." you closed your eyes for a moment and tilted your head, accepting reality. London Boy was a song you wrote for Tom while the two of you were away and it was already out as a single, but Mr. Perfectly Fine, that was special. That song was not yet recorded and had been written this weeks of pain. Inspiration had been Tom and how he had post some pictures on instagram looking perfectly fine after all this situation. You weren't ready for Mr. Perfectly Fine, least of all right now.

"Mr. Perfectly Fine?" Sam asked, crossing his arms and looking at you before speaking. "She can't sing that song, it's not even recorded. Where's Jake?" he began to search with his gaze to the brunnete to be able to speak with him.

"It's fine," you put your hand on his shoulder. "I'll guess it's time to sing it to the world." you gave him an unconvinced smile.

"You're sure?" he asked, pulling you up so he could give you a short hug, resting his chin on your head.

"Yeah, Sammy," you smiled as you smelled his perfume. "I mean, it's just one song without Tom, how bad can it turn out, right?" you broke away from him and looked at your two friends.

None of the three wanted to admit it, but all of you knew that anything could go wrong. You knew Mr. Perfectly Fine was going to be a single, but you thought that when it came out, you would be in the couch eating a big pot of ice cream with Tom, or you would be dancing with Sam and all your friends, but this time it would be different, very different.

"I know but," Holland returned to the subject and clicked his tongue. "It's the first single without him, I thought you wanted to be crying in your room or some stuff like that." took a hit by Harrison at this last comment.

"Let me get this lad out of here before he convince you to run out of the studio." the blond boy grabbed the brunette and directed him to where they were sitting, while you took a quick drink from the bottle of water to also return to your starting position.

Finally, it was time to sing. "Everything's fine?" Bella asked as she adjusted the necklace that hung around your neck. You had had a little change and now your hair was in a high ponytail and your clothes was now a black shorts with a white long-sleeved blouse and a little pink blazer that matched your shoes.

"Yeah." you nodded and she withdrew. You were ready for the presentation, yes, but emotionally? absolutely not. You knew you could sing London Boy without any problem, but Mr. Perfectly Fine would be a big punch in your heart.

The melody of London Boy began to sound and the lights little by little were illuminating the place, letting you see yourself in front of a microphone and with a band behind.

But something happened, I heard him laughing

I saw the dimples first and then I heard the accent

"i'm Tom , and i suppose that you're Y/N Y/L, right?"

They say home is where the heart is

But that's not where mine lives

"i want you to move on with me and the boys, you know?"

You know I love a London boy

I enjoy walking Camden Market in the afternoon

He likes my American smile

Like a child when our eyes meet, darling, I fancy you

Took me back to Highgate, met all of his best mates

"so, this is Harrison and Tuwaine, and there is Harry and Sam, but you alredy met them."

So I guess all the rumors are true

"are Tom Holland and Y/N Y/L dating?"

You know I love a London boy

London Boy ended quickly even though you felt like an eternity. The music low but then rose in a second to start with the Mr. Perfectly Fine tune. You took a breath to calm yourself, but as soon as the first verse approached you searched with panicked eyes for Harrison and Sam. Harrison would hold his thumbs up towards you and Sam would whisper something in his ear, this made you more nervous.

Hello, Mr. "Perfectly fine"

How's your heart after breakin' mine?

"fine, i'm fucking leaving."

"it's not like you ever tried to stay."

Mr. "Always at the right place at the right time," baby

[...]

And it's really such a shame

It's such a shame

'Cause I was Miss "Here to stay"

"of course i'll be right here when you come, dumbass."

Now I'm Miss "Gonna be alright someday"

"it's just some hard days, you know? I'll get over it, i'm fine."

And someday maybe you'll miss me

But by then, you'll be Mr. "Too late"

Applause rang out when the melody ended and you didn't sigh when, but tears ran down your cheek. You cleaned them up quickly and smiled.

"Wow, it's that a new song?" Jimmy asked as he came over to thank you and hug you.

"It is, yeah." you nodded and opened your arms to receive the interviewer. "The name is Mr. Perfectly Fine. It will be recorded soon, don't worry." you winked at the camera.

"Well, I'll guess the only thing I have left to say, it's," he look at you to get both of you to say it together and you quickly get it.

"Hello, Mr. Perfectly Fine, how's your heart after breaking mine?"

"It's falling apart, thanks for asking." Tom responded to the screen with a sour smile and closed his computer screen. Your laughter still rang out due to Tuwaine and Harry watching the show from the living room.

On the other side of the coin, Tom was not as good as he was shown. He returned to live with his friends as soon as the news that you were gone reached his ears. decided not to go looking for you thinking you wanted space for some time. His nights were crying and crying, going out to drink, being photographed with a girl but never going from there, because he felt bad having sex with her when he hadn't gotten over you, you didn't deserve that.

His bed felt cold at night, the closet was half empty, and your shampoo bottle was still in the bathroom. Tom wanted to forget you, but he couldn't if there were traces of you all over his house.

°•°•°•

"Where are you going?" Tuwaine asked Tom when he saw that he was going to leave the house.

"To get some tea, there's nothing left," he replied without looking at him, searching for the key to the front door. The key that had a black stripe of nailpolish that you had put so Tom could differentiate it from the others. Your ex ran his finger along the line, smiling to himself.

"Hell no, Thomas," Harry appeared and leaned back in the kitchen counter. "It's Sunday, remember? it's your turn to do the laundry."

"Man, c'mon," he narrowed his eyes and began to move the key between his hands. "I can do it when i get back."

"Nah ah." Harry shook his head and met glances with his brother. "You always said that. just separate it and you can go." he wrinkled his eyebrows at this answer.

"Mate, you're not my mom," he said with a smile, but his brother looked at him in a special way and he knew that look.

"Fine, fuck you anyways." left the keys on the small table in the living room and went to the laundry, where there were two baskets full of clothes. "Oh man, fuck me," he ran a hand across his forehead and walked over to the first basket. "Do the laundry." he mocked his brother and rolled his eyes.

But then, then the white shirt with a little taco appeared in his hands. He remembered very well that shirt, it was a pajama shirt that he combined with blue shorts with taco prints. He remembered that you had lost it and you could never find it. He took the garment and went back to the living room, where everyone but Sam was.

"Hey, where did this come from?" he asked, drawing everyone's attention and showed the shirt.

"Oh, I found it behind the red table, you know which one? the one that we always take to your parents' house." Harrison responded as if it were the most normal thing in the world. Tom nodded, wondering if he should do it or not, he was processing every thought that came to his head. Was it worth doing?

"You know what," he nodded and took the keys from the table, putting the shirt on his shoulder. "I'm gonna go to a place really quick."

"But the laundry-"

"I'll do it when i get back!" it was the last thing his friends and his brother heard before he walked out the front door.

"He scares me." Tuwaine said and everyone nodded with a little laugh.

Your doorbell rang and you grunted at this sound, because you had an omelette in the pan and you weren't expecting anyone, it rang another two times until your "coming!" reached the person's ears.

"What is it? I don't expect any package or I didn't order any-" your voice seemed to drop automatically when you saw him standing in front of you. her foot moved to calm her nerves and she held something white in her hand.

"Sorry for not asking and just showing up like this out of nowhere," he apologized, but seeing that you had no intention of speaking, he continued. "Um, i just found this shirt of you, it's the one with the taco and, you know, I thought you would like... can we talk please? even if it is just for closure." he practically begged you and you just nodded your head as you snapped back to reality. You turned around, implying that he would come in and close the door. You headed into the kitchen to turn off the pan and put your breakfast on a plate.

"Do you want some tea?" You were the first to speak, approaching the couch where he was already. shook his head.

"So, is it about me?" he asked once you took a seat on the couch.

"What thing?" you asked without understanding, it was early and your brain wasn't working yet.

"The song, Mr. Perfectly Fine." that took you by surprise, what kind of question was that? of course it was about him.

"Did you see the show?" you asked, ignoring her question. He nodded.

"Everyone in the house was watching it, it was hard to ignore it," he shrugged and you hid a smile at the thought that Tuwaine and Harry were still supporting you. "You didn't answer my question, tho."

"It is, Tom," you nodded and bit your lip thinking carefully what you would say. "Everything it's about you."

"Y/N-"

"Let me finish, please," you could feel your voice cracking and you didn't know if you would hold out long, it was better to speak now than never. "It's just that," you sighed before continuing. "You looked so good on your social networks, you were even more active than ever on instagram. You were photographed every Friday night with a new girl," you started playing with your hands to calm your nerves. "You looked so perfectly fine while I was destroyed." you finally finished and felt a relief to let those words out. Tom processed every word in his head, he just wanted to taste your sweet lips again and get them back together. but he knew that if he wanted that, he had to confess his feelings as well.

"I was not fine," he lowered her gaze and her heart was beating fast. "Yeah, I made out with some girls, but they were very different from you, I didn't want them to look like you." he bit the inside of her cheek as he felt the tears come to her eyes. "And I know it's not romantic at all, but I couldn't be with someone like you, I didn't feel comfortable."

"And even if I kissed them, it was never the same, I didn't take them home because you didn't deserve that. You didn't deserve that I touched another person in such a short time." he ran his hands through his hair and dropped a few tears. "And the night of your last show, yeah, I went to a house party and I kissed another girl," his confession turned your stomach, remembering the pain you felt when you saw that hickey in his neck. "It was only because we didn't see each other often and I really missed you so much. and i know it's not an excuse but it's the best i have to tell you."

"Tom, let me-"

"I still love you and I don't think I love anyone else in my whole life." he said with some desperation. you could see in Tom's eyes that he was really telling the truth. I was really having a hard time just like you, he wasn't being arrogant or a dickhead, he was being real.

"Here," you took his hand in yours looking for his contact. "What if," you started rubbing your thumb against his hand. "I let you take me on a date and we can erase this." the boy's eyes lit up at this proposal.

"Yeah, yeah of course." he said quickly, releasing himself from your grasp to wipe his tears away. "Whatever you want, baby," he covered his mouth as he told you that nickname. "sorry, Y/N."

"It's fine, darling," you gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. "Tom?"

"Yeah?"

"I still love you too."

stay ✧ t.holland

summary; the last show of your tour it's coming, but someone it's not.

warnings; language, mentions of cheating, angst, crying, sadness(?

a/n; ugh, this shit it was so difficult to write bc i feel like having some kinda of mental block so yeah; it's inspired in a lyric of a song that i saw on tiktok; may do part two about this bc why not. as always english it's not my first language so sorry about the mistakes. requests are open!! send some and take care <3 (not my gif)

°•°•°•

the relationship between you and Tom was difficult, because he was constantly traveling to record and you to be able to give concerts. Tom was back from finishing recording three weeks ago, although you hadn't seen him for the last shows on your tour

the last show was in London and most of your friends would be there, supporting you at the close of your tour. you were concentrating on how well everything was going, thinking that Tom was in the audience, or at least he were in the after party.

every time a song started, you tried to look for Tom's face, you hadn't seen him and the fact that you didn't find him either made you feel somewhat uneasy.

"thank you London!" you gave one last shout when the last song ended, thanking the audience and running backstage to meet some of your friends.

"get it, girl!" Sam immediately scooped you up in his arms. he was your best friend and thanks to him you met your boyfriend. "you we're amazing out there! like, burning the stage!"

"where is Tom?" you asked when you didn't see him around, immediately the smiles faded a bit and the atmosphere fell silent.

"'m sure he's going to the pube, coming?" Harrison told you and you nodded, making a sign that you would go to change so that you could be more comfortable.

"where is Tom?" Harry asked in a serious voice once you got out of their sight. Harrison just lifted his shoulders as a sign that he didn't know.

"Tuwaine went looking for him at the apartment," Sam recalled, turning on his phone to see if he had a message from his friend. "he hasn't said anything yet."

"do you really think he forgot?" Harry asked and the atmosphere turned awkward. "he can't"

"at this point, I don't know anything," Harrison tapped the bridge of his nose to let out some stress. "you've heard how he has complained about their relationship in these weeks." you weren't aware of it, but Tom was constantly complaining about the relationship you two had. he had said that he did not know if he wanted to continue for the little time you two shared together. you two made daily video calls, yes, but it wasn't enough and you knew that.

"well, he's gonna be a piece of shit if he don't show to the party at least." Sam commented in an angry tone, slapping his friends when he saw you start to get closer.

"ready to go, miss?" Harry held out his arm to you and you laughed at this, before leaving the place to go to the pub.

°•°•°•

If you were honest, you did not enjoy the after as much as you thought. Tom had not shown up all night, Tuwaine said that Tom was not at his apartment and was not answering his phone.

"thank you for coming, love you, babe." you said goodbye to one of the last people who were at the party, when you saw that she left through the glass door immediately your eyes began to fill with tears. Sam quickly put down the crystal glasses he was collecting and walked over to you.

"hey, hey, what's wrong, love?" he asked with concern, already knowing the answer.

"you know, Sammy," you started sniffing and watched as the others began to approach you. "it's been really hard to keep all my shit together, i really miss him all the time and i just wanted to see him at the show or at least here, but he didn't come."

"I'm sure that he's at home with a surprise to you." Harry tried to cheer you up, running his hand over your shoulder.

"you don't get it, Harry," you lifted your gaze to connect with his, your eyes red from the tears you had shed. "he hasn't told me he loves me in weeks, sometimes he didn't answer my calls," Sam began to feel a lump form in his throat, he didn't know if it was because it hurt to see you like this or because of the anger that felt with his brother. "you know, i don't think he loves me anymore. maybe he has another girl, someone who can be at home all the time" that was the only sentence that you had to say to break something in the inside of Sam, what happen to his brother who always said how in love he was with you?

"I'm gonna call the uber so we can get out of here." Sam announced and pulled out his phone, squinting as the light from the screen hit him.

"I don't wanna see Tom," you grabbed his arm, forcing him to look at you. "let's go to a hotel, please." you begged him.

"you don't have to see Tom or talk to him if you don't want to," Tuwaine quickly said and began to run a hand through your hair to relax you. "you can sleep in my room and i'll sleep in the couch, it's fine." you nodded and thanked him, with that, Sam left the establishment to order the uber, however, his fingers moved towards his contacts, looking quickly for his brother's. after the fifth tone, the voice of Tom reached his brother's ears.

"hello?"

"where the fuck are you?" he asked quickly, not giving him time to speak again.

"in the house, where are you and all of the divs?" he asked without understanding what was happening, Sam could hear the alcohol in the voice of his brother.

"do you know what day it is today?" he asked, knowing the stupid answer he would give him.

"um, friday?" he replied in a doubtful tone. "I don't understand, Sam, tell me what's going on."

"where were you three hours ago?" he asked again, completely ignoring his brother.

"Sam-"

"answer the damn question, Thomas." he hissed, losing patience. Tom let out a sigh before answering.

"my friend told me he was going to have a little party, so I went to have fun for a while, happy?" when he stopped speaking, his brother clicked his tongue as he shook his head without his being able to see him.

"wow, I can't believe you."

"what?" the brunette asked through the phone. "okay Sam, tell me what the hell is going on, I don't get it." he ordered, tired of getting no response.

"today was y/n's last show, here, in London," when his brain processed his information, he cursed under his breath. "she really expected you to be there, you know, as a supportive boyfriend."

"where is she now?" he asked not knowing what to do. "Sam, tell me now!"

"slow down and don't yell at me, I'm not the one who forgot the most special show to his girlfriend," he said in an annoyed tone, almost shouting in the middle of the stool. "we're going home right now, and she doesn't want to talk to you. so when we get home, you better be in your room." before Tom could protest, his brother hung up on him.

the vehicle arrived in a few minutes, Sam, Harry and you left in one, while Tuwaine and Harrison requested another. you wanted to stop crying but you couldn't, the pain I felt just took over everything else. there was no daily post on Instagram, you had not been able to enjoy the party, there was no more you happy.

you rested your head on Sam's shoulder while you tried to calm your labored breathing due to the crying you had let out a few minutes ago. your head began to throb from the tears that had come out of your eyes, little by little you fell asleep. Harry gave Sam a look when he noticed that your eyes were closed and your chest rose and fell calmly.

"i can't believe that he do that shit." Sam said in a low tone but with clear anger.

"you know, maybe it was the stress of filming." Harry tried to calm things down, Sam denied at this sentence.

"he finished recording three weeks ago and the only thing that he does it's talk bullshit about his relationship," his hand was running through your hair so you could rest better, and hopefully, you won't get up to see Tom. "she just doesn't deserve this."

"but we can't do anything about it, Sam", the one with curls kept talking and focused his gaze on you, you looked so calm compared to how you were a while ago. "it's not our relationship."

"but she is my best friend."

"and Tom is your brother", his twin told him and he frowned. "I'm not defending him, I'm just saying that we should stay out of this."

"whatever"

the car was parked and Harry took you in his arms carefully so as not to wake you up, Tuwaine and Harrison still haven't arrived. Sam put the key in and turned it so his brother could come in and lead you into a room.

"where do I put her?" Harry asked, pushing the door as best he could.

"in Tuwaine's room". he answered him and shifted his gaze to his other brother, who was sitting in an armchair in the living room. he closed the door before approaching.

Tom saw how Harry went upstairs with you asleep, your makeup was smeared and he could notice your chapped lips, which only happens when you are very nervous and cry for a long time.

"Sam, i-" Tom got up and tried to talk to his brother, but he raised his finger and put it in front of him.

"don't," he said as he turned and left the keys in the kitchen. "it's not me you owe an apology to. Good night."

°•°•°•

the sun's rays began to penetrate the curtains of the room. you stirred in bed when you felt the light on your eyelids, when you felt it, you quickly realized that you were not in your room, because your curtains were blue and not white.

slowly you sat on the bed, your body ached and you noticed that you were wearing gray pants and that you were only in bra, you were confused by this. you took your cell phone that was on the small nightstand, you noticed that it was connected to the charger and that it had 100%, when did this happen? a notification from Harry was taking all the screen and you opened the message quickly.

all of us we left the house so that you and Tom could talk, also, i tried to put on a shirt but you push me away on your sleep, so i left you like this, i hope i didn't bother you ://

you responded with a 'thank you' due to his sweet action and forced yourself to get out of bed. you didn't want to do it, you didn't want to see or talk to him. you didn't know why he hadn't been to your show or party yesterday, but because of how angry Sam looked when he "asked for the uber" you could imagine something

you slowly dragged your bare feet into Tuwaine's closet and you opened it so you could grab any shirt and put it on. it smelled good, but it wasn't the smell you were used to.

everything felt very sad, the house was silent and you were destroyed. you missed the mornings where Tom would wake you up with two quick kisses on each cheek to let you know that breakfast was ready, no thanks to him, but it was ready.

took a deep breath before putting your hand on the cold knob and turning it to be able to leave the room, mentally preparing yourself for what was coming, but, no one is ready for a breakup, even tho, you didn't know yet.

the familiar smell of tea reached your nose faster than you expected, you didn't close the bedroom door and started walking down the hall to the kitchen, where you saw him. your eyes noticed something very noticeable on his neck, but you didn't say anything.

"y/n," Tom said in a soft whisper as he turned and saw you standing in front of him. "do you want a cup?" he asked, trying to stretch out the time.

"don't do that and let's just go to the point." you shook your head and he nodded, pressing his lips back to the cup with the hot liquid. "why you weren't there?"

the environment was silent at this question, he wanted to speak, but did not know what to say. he did not know that it would hurt you more, that he did not remember or lie to you to look good.

"great," you sighed, deciphering the answer. "thank you for remembering."

"let me explain." he wanted to speak and tried to get closer to you, but you backed off.

"explain what? that you're a shitty boyfriend?" you asked and crossed your arms in front of your chest, feeling how your vision began to blur due to the tears that began to form. "believe, yesterday that was very clear to me." you walked around it until you got to the fridge so you could get the milk out.

"I'm not a shitty boyfriend," he kept talking, but you ignored him. "it's just that- I'm stressed." he ran his hand over his neck to make it look more believable.

"wow, Thomas," you put the milk carton next to the mug and turned to face it. "I have to say, to be an actor, you act like shit trying to make your excuse credible."

"it's not an excuse!"

"the smell of alcohol in your shirt says otherwise," you raised your eyebrows and turned to put the milk away, swallowing dry before speaking again without looking at him. "and you have a hickey, I'll guess it's not mine because we don't have sex like four months ago." at this point your "boyfriend" didn't know what to say

"look, I'm so sorry about it," he started to speak and grabbed you by the cheeks, a few inches from your lips to connect. "I know I have a hickey and all, but-"

"you still love me?" you cut him off, taking him by surprise, leaving him frozen for a moment. "but like for real, do you still do it?"

"yeah, baby of course. what kinda question is that?" he nodded frantically as his thumb wiped away one of the tears that ran down your face.

"then why you didn't go?" you asked, in your eyes you could see all the pain that you held. "why you kissed with some other girl? i'm not enough, Thomas? do you need someone who can be there all the time?" Tom swallowed when these questions reached his ears, he didn't know what to say at all.

"no, no, what are you saying?" he asked in disbelief and the grip on your cheeks tightened a bit as his eyes also began to fill with tears. "I really love you, y/n, you're the whole reason about everything." he assured you.

"i am?" you asked and raised an eyebrow. you removed Tom's hands from your face and wiped away some tears with your palms. "we can't be together anymore." his jaw clenched at this.

"what? you're not serious," he denied immediately and watched as you left the kitchen, leaving the cup of milk in the kitchen counter. "darling, c'mon."

"don't 'darling' me," you replied and he was speechless, he never thought that the day of the two of you break up would come so soon. "you cheated on me and you didn't go to my last show, do you know how many tweets there will be from all this? Thousands, Tom, thousands."

"so what about it?"

"you don't get it, do you?" you crossed your arms and leaned against the wall, he denied. "everyone's gonna talk about my fucking stupid boyfriend that forgot my show and made out with someone else."

"stop saying that!" he yelled with some anger, he didn't like you repeating over and over the mistakes he made yesterday. "please, stop."

"I'll stop," you assured him and nodded. "because we're done." this last sentence echoed a lot in his head, and he thought TOO MUCH what he was going to say next.

"fine, i'm fucking leaving." he gave you one last look and started walking towards the room that you two shared. you let out all the tears that you were holding back when you saw that he entered the room.

"it's not like you ever tried to stay." you said in a last breath and forced yourself to go to the room of somebody else to wait there until all the boys come house, just to find out that Tom it's leaving

show some love - t.h

a/n: my bf posted a pic of me on his history and i just can't stop thinking about it, soo here's a little post about what would it be some Tom's posts; you are played by avani bc who doesn't love her? so yeah. also, english it's not my first language and requests are open!! stay safe you dumbs <3 (not my gif)

tomholland2013 ✓

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tomholland2013 ma baby

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imsebastianstan y/n blink twice if you need help

hazosterfield so whipped fr

ciarabravo is she tho? OUR

november 20, 2020

tomholland2013 ✓

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tomholland2013 y/n it's the reason we exist, everyone knows it, it's a fact kiss kiss

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zendaya SO TRUE BESTIE

chrisevans love the jacket

tuwaine fashion iconnnn

december 29, 2020

tomholland2013 ✓

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tomholland2013 welcome to a y/n's fanpage ;)

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harryholland64 nothing new :/

anthonymackie holland police it's on their way to rescue y/n

lifeisaloha fr

january 3, 2021

tomholland2013 ✓

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tomholland2013 she's looking at the baby mountain goats

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yourusername no i'm not

imsebastianstan she's looking at me so sorry bro :/

shawnmendes cute post

january 28, 2021

tomholland2013 ✓

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tomholland2013 my gf it's hotter than yours

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zendaya stop posting pics of my gf dude

hazosterfield YOOOOOOOO

lifeisaloha stop being so horny wtf tom

february 2, 2021

tomholland2013 ✓

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tomholland2013 swaggy

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vancityreynolds love it

robertdowneyjr she got it from Mr. Stark

tuwaine i don't understand how is she dating a loser¿?

february 7, 2021

tomholland2013 ✓

Liked by shawnmendes, samholland1999 and more

tomholland2013 take a look at my gf

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samholland1999 love her sm

chrishemsworth cutie

jakegyllenhaal wait i thought i was your husband

february 22, 2021

tomholland2013 ✓

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tomholland2013 wear your mask!

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ciarabravo my gf looking cute as always

zendaya take care of her you div

chrisevans stay safeee little ones

march 4, 2021

tomholland2013 ✓

Liked by lifeisaloha, harryholland64 and more

tomholland2013 I'M DATING A SUPERSTAR EVERYONE SHUT UP, so proud of you bby

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harryholland64 AYOOOOO CONGRATS

lifeisaloha I'M CRYING RIGHT NOW

anthonymackie so happy for the two of you

hazosterfield WAIT

imsebastianstan no way, congratulations y/n miss you everydayyyy

march 15, 2021

TOM AND Y/N BEING A GOOFY AND ADORABLE COUPLE FOR EIGHT MINUTES STRAIGHT.

SUMMARY: when a video has your name, it catches your full attention.

Pairing: Tom Holland x reader

Warnings: none, just fluff.

A/N: I saw this on youtube and immediately knew I had to do it with some of my favs, so this came out! I want to do it with Sebastian and even with some more, tell me if you want me to do it with someone! as I always say, english is not my first language so I hope this is good! take care of yourself pls! (not my gif)

the sun was beginning to disappear and the last rays of it filtered through the thin white curtains that the apartment had. it was a warm day, but it was beginning to get dark and the cold wind was beginning to appear.

Tom was on the Spider-Man 3 set and you were sitting on the couch with a big black blanket, a bag of jelly beans and the remote control in your hand pressing buttons while you were looking for what to watch on YouTube. a video appeared with the title "Tom and Y / N being a goofy and adorable couple for eight minutes straight." and without a doubt, you said to put it.

the first clip was a instastorie which was recorded by Chris Hemsworth on the set of Infinity War. first Chris's face would appear and then the camera would flip over to show Tom and you sitting side by side laughing at something that was showing up on your phone.

"what are you doing?" Mark Ruffalo's voice was heard from the side of the camera.

"I'm recording teenage love." Chris said and with his fingers he zoomed in on the screen making the camera get closer to you two. "teenage love, teenage love." he began to say the words with some melody, creating a rhythm.

°•

"stop recording me, Tom." you said while applying a little gloss to your lips, you had seen by the reflection of the mirror that Tom was recording.

"i can't, you look so gorgeous." he said without stopping recording, then he stood by your side and I wait for you to finish applying the gloss.

you closed the small container and settled down next to him, feeling how he passed his free hand around your waist. "damn, we look good." when you put your direct view in the mirror, you could see how good you two looked. Tom wore a black suit and a sky blue tie that matched your dress, while you carried a small bag and black heels to match it.

"we do, we do." agreed with you without stopping recording. "'key, let's do a little dance, go!" this took you by surprise and you made the first move that came to your mind, which was to clench your two fists and make circles with them at the height of your shoulders.

after a few seconds, the two of you started laughing and that story was posted on your boyfriend's instagram.

°•

since the quarantine had begun, the activity that the two of you did most was listening to new artists to discover new music.

Permanent Vacation by 5 Seconds Of Summer played in the background as you two danced and jumped non-stop. the smiles were not erased from your faces and that was a moment when everyone could tell that they were soulmates.

in a slip, you slipped and fell straight to the floor, causing Tom to stop dancing to quickly check if you were okay. "darling, are you okay?" He knelt before you and took your hand. "you are so dumb." he said with a smile as he helped you stand up.

"excuse me?"

°•

"so do you have any tradition with your family for Christmas?" Jimmy asked, putting his mug on his desk.

"with my family no, but with [Y/N] i do." when he answered and your name was named, the crowd started to make noise. "we wake up and the first thing that we do it's bake cakes." he said simply and a small smile formed on his face.

"cakes? tell us more." the interviewer encouraged him.

"so, we bake two cakes, one for the dinner with the family and other just for us." he explained with hand movements. "then we decorate it and finally we sit down to watch The Grinch while we eat the cake." the smile on his face grew bigger when he heard the "aw" from the entire audience.

"that's really sweet and sounds fun." Jimmy told him with a smile.

°•

the countless interviews Tom had to do since Spider-Man: Far From Home came out kept the two of you apart. actually now he was playing with his cast friends and he wasn't doing an interview, but there was a surprise for him.

you felt nervous after not having seen him for a few months, because even though they lived together, you had to fly to Canada to be with your family and not feel alone while he was filming.

"alright, so." Jacob switched cards so he could read the following sentence to Tom and Jake, who were wearing loud music headphones. "[Y/N] ...

"what?" Tom interrupted him not understanding what he was saying.

"are we sure that he is gonna understand?" Zendaya looked at the production and then went back to reading the card. "[Y/N] is here."

"who is here?" Jake asked and brought his hands to the sides of his ears to press the headphones further. "i don't get the name."

"[Y/N] is here!" Jacob yelled at them, hoping they could understand the sentence. you appeared in the room, but you stayed where the light was not so strong so that they could not see you and you waited for the producer's signal to appear.

"wait, what?" Tom asked again. "say it slow."

"oh my god." Zendaya rolled her eyes when she saw that he wasn't understanding. "your girlfriend it's here!"

"your girlfriend it's here!" Jake guessed for Tom and did a little victory dance before removing his headphones.

"you have a girlfriend, Jake? i didn't know that." the brunette said with surprise as he took off his headphones. immediately everyone started laughing and he looked at them without understanding what was happening. "i don't get it."

"who's gonna tell him?" Jacob asked and looked at the people behind the cameras.

"tell me what?" Holland asked not understanding what they meant. you started to move forward until everyone except Tom could see you.

"that i'm here, dumbass." you spoke and you saw how quickly your boyfriend's head turned to be able to see you with surprise.

"stop playing, are you a hologram?" he asked in disbelief as he got up from the chair so he could approach you and put his hands on his waist. "you're not."

"i'm not, i'm really here." you said and put your two hands on his cheeks and then get closer and be able to kiss him after so long apart.

°•

"can anyone tell him that Isaac Lahey is a character and does not exist in real life?" your voice was heard on the speaker of your phone while you were recording Tom, who had gotten up from the couch and was right now at the kitchen counter. "because Tom got jealous of him."

"you said that he is hot!" your boyfriend's scream was heard from the kitchen.

"so what? you think Lydia is pretty." you said with a tone of indignation without stopping recording.

"but i think that you are so much pretty than she." Tom's voice began to be heard closer, as did his footsteps.

"that doesn't justify you." you crossed your arms, causing your cell phone to shake a bit.

"that's not even the point! the point is, you said Isaac was hot." seconds later, he appeared with a bag of M&M's and a glass of milk. "you're cheating on me."

"I'm dating a five years old, just to all of you know." you rotated the camera and now you were recording yourself.

"i want the divorce." he said and stood in front of you to hand you the bag of M & M's you had asked for.

"we are not even married!"

°•

"you're currently dating Tom Holland, but we want to know how did the two of you met? because you are not in the Marvel movies." James asked and settled into his chair while you did the same.

"well, everybody thinks that we met at the Golden Globes." you started talking and your eyes brightened. "we actually met at the auditions of my first movie. Tom was there for the paper of my brother, but he didn't got it."

"you met at there? I really thought that the first time you met was at the Golden Gobles." the blond commented in great amazement.

"we didn't met there, but we took a selfie in there for the first time and we talked beyond a few lines of a script." you gave the data with a big smile and looked at the audience.

"and when did you fall in love for him?" he asked and this made the crowd make some noise that was combined with your laughter.

"you know, actually the first time that i saw him i was like 'damn, shawty', but i think it was in the moment that we were at a friend's party and he approached me and told me to go to another place with him because he was not comfortable and I was the only person who knew who would say yes. " and if you thought your smile couldn't get any bigger, the moment you remembered that moment, it did.

the video ended and just then the apartment door was opened, forcing you to take a look. "hey, darling." your boyfriend's voice sounded behind you.

"hi, baby." you said and felt how he hid his face in your neck, leaning his body on the edge of the chair.

"what are you watching?" he asked and pulled away from you, not before leaving a quick kiss on your neck.

"it was a video of us being the goofy and adorable couple of all times." you answered with a smile as you watched him take off his shoes and approach you to take a seat on the couch.

"and there are no more of those?" he asked and sat next to you and then wrapped his arms around you and leaned his head on your shoulder. you took control and pressed a button to see the video suggestions.

"well, here is this one" you said and put the video called 'Y/N and Tom being the sexiest couple in the whole fucking world'.

"oh, i see what people think of us." the brunette said when he saw the title of the video.

"what do you mean with that? of course we are the sexiest couple in the whole fucking world." you wrinkled your eyebrows and lowered your gaze a bit to connect with his.

"yes, we are." when he finished talking, he leaned to you so he can kiss you.

Okay but like just imagine 2 o’clock on a rainy afternoon in the hight of winter, your head rested on peters chest as you feel it slowly raise and fall. One arm thrown around your waist holding you as tight as possible to him, pulling you back every time you moved even half an inch away and the other slowly dancing through your hair. Both you arms are curled into your chest as you snuggle deeper into his warm comforting form as his strong jaw rests on your head, Star Wars a new hope playing softly in the background as your eyes grow heavy. Just as your about to slide into unconsciousness you feel him lightly kiss your head and whisper “ sweet dreams princess I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere I love you”

People I write for

Headcannons, imagines, x readers, bulbs, fluff and smut all accepted but I don’t write angst sorry my page is to bring joy not tears :) and I will make a master list later

Marvel

Bucky Barnes

Steve Rogers

+ there 1940s version because pre serum Steve will always have my heart

Peter Parker

Stucky x reader

Stony x reader

Leo fitz

Daniel sousa

+ all the actors

Harry Potter

Harry

Ron

Draco

Cedric

Fred

George

Bill

Charlie

Viktor krum

Remus

Sirius

Wolf star x reader

James

Remus x Sirius x James x reader

Albus potter

James Sirius potter

Teddy lupin

Louis weasley

Fred II

Hugo

Scorpius

Narnia

Peter

Caspian

Edmund

Starwars

Luke

Han

Poe

Kylo

Ben solo

Anakin

Obione

Din djarin

Merlin

Merlin

Arthur

Mordred

Percival

Lancelot

Gwaine

Riverdale

Archie

Jughead

Reggie

Fp

Other people

Ahkmenrah

Roger Taylor

Enoch O’Connor

Harry styles

im sure I have forgotten some people so please request and I will write for any character I know well, I don’t really write for characters I don’t know or like just because I don’t want to get them wrong for you guys but please request and have an awesome day - love C 🐾

Peter Parker [Favourites]

this is an overview of some of the best peter parker fics out there - this list covers all tropes

* = smut

* Don't Hold Back - @hollandcrush

two hormonal students wander into a room during a frat party, what could possibly happen? maybe you discover that under his heart made of pure gold lurks a hidden powerful, dominant side

Sunset Lovers - @duskholland

you’ve never met your soulmate, but you know his handwriting like the back of your hand...literally - every word your soulmate writes on his skin appears on yours, and vice versa - you’re desperate to meet him, but until the universe decides to introduce you, you’re stuck with scribbled smiley faces and chemistry formulae

Was It Worth It - @kelieah

reader and peter are married with a baby, after every mission she questions if it “was it worth it” but as she becomes muddled up in a dangerous mission, peter doesn't know if it is worth it anymore

Disappointed - @dlwritings

the events of endgame have taken their toll on peter - unfortunately, this means you’re left picking up his broken pieces, and you’re not sure how much more strength you have to help him

His Plan - @dlwritings

you’re far too shy to tell peter how you feel about him - you always have been, he’s shy about it too, but decides to bite the bullet and confess a couple things to you on the school trip to europe - his plan doesn’t, however, account for you feeling the same

The Storm - @starlordsandrockets

peter parker was the last person you wanted to be partnered with for your class presentation - now you were forced to spend the day with him but your loathing soon turns into something quite different when the day is over

Just For Tonight - @cloudybarnes

peter accidentally tells the avengers he has a girlfriend and now they all wanna meet her. in an attempt to not look like a liar, he recruits his best friend y/n to fake date him for the night so he can introduce them to her

* What Good Boys Do - @vampireinbusiness

can you do one about shy peter and his love for readers short skirts like he gets so flustered seeing her in them but he always touches her and him going down on his knees to eat her out with them on

Remember That Night - @tinyyoungblood

peter spends a night on omegle and comes across a sleeping girl. peter decides not to skip her - he reads to her and talks to her about his problems, and when she finally wakes, they lose themselves in endless conversation until she hits him with the “see you in a different life, bye peter

Better Half - @ptersmj

where you fall asleep on peters lap after a mission and he just takes care of you?

Trouble In Paradise - @ptersmj

peter loves giving y/n hickies - when they at a pool party with the rest of the avengers, everyone starts teasing her about them

Honor - @itsapeterthing

your best friend peter parker who has a secret crush on you catches your boyfriend cheating with another girl

Invisible String (Series) - @peterbenjiparker

you were content with the way your life was, until you woke up with a red string wound around your fingertips and the red string just had to link you to your best friend, peter - now you were subjected to a possible life of no love as you watched peter, your soulmate, fall for someone else all the while getting fucked over by the universe in the worst way possible

Drunk On You - @peterbenjiparker

peter calls you from a frat party after getting drunk to get over you while you were out on a date

* Your Mess - @peterbenjiparker

peter got drunk at flash's party and you have to take care of him

* Wet Dreams - @selfcarecap

what the title says - also, friends to lovers

Time After Time (Series)- @softspideys

peter parker is your worst enemy, but he’s also your soulmate. life is funny that way

Sweet Dreams, Parker - @marvelousmrsmarvel

being a full-time student is exhausting in itself, let alone being an avenger as well. you and peter both knew the feeling a little too well. so, when peter is losing sleep over finals week, you step in to help get his sleeping schedule back on track

Of Sleep & Safety - @florenceyelena

in which peter parker slumps into your room exhausted and you have to try and get him into bed despite the height difference between you

Can't Lose You - @ms-misery

you're trying to get over your best friend but no matter how hard you try you just can't seem to do it

* Secret - @celestialbarnes

you and peter have been dating for a few months now, and in order to keep your dad and the team in the dark, you two sneak around, not knowing that the entire team already knew, everyone but tony of course, chaos ensues

Cuddles - @parkersdoll

peter has a bad day, all he can think about is you

Can't Escape (Series)- @asonofpeter

life moves fast out in the suburbs, you live the perfect life with your mother and father but when you start to crave for more meaning in life than just westview, your mother does every thing in her power to make sure you don’t leave - can you ever imagine what’s on the other side of ellis avenue?

* Vacation (Series) - @scarletspideyy

it’s peter parker’s senior year class trip, all he wants is a break from the stress of high school and his spider-man duties - to his surprise, he gets the vacation he always wanted but it doesn’t come without its own personal trouble; love

* Break It In - @simplyparker

peter gets his first car, and you want to have some fun

Hopelessly Devoted To You - @spiritualchange

what can he say, peter is just devoted to you

* The Birthday Boy - @noobsquasher

it's peter's birthday and you celebrate it by giving him a memorable lap dance

Perfectly A Little Late - @t-lostinworlds

with all things college, two jobs, tutoring on weekends and another at the bakery downtown, you're one busy girl - peter completely understands that of course, admires it even but it doesn't make it sting any less when you just so happen to forget about his birthday

Kiss Me More - @celestialholland

you and peter make out for the first time

* Pretend I'm Not Here - @thighs-of-betrayal-blog

peter asking you to touch yourself in front of him like you do when you're alone

Caffeine - @waitimcomingtoo

peter’s shyness makes him an easy target at his new job, but one co-worker always stands up for him

* Rings, Rings, Rings - @vintagemulti

in which your boyfriends newfound love towards jewellery affects you more than you expected

Halftime - @eloquenceflores

your cute nerdy bf takes care of you during the half-time of the football game you’re cheering at

all the bright places → p.p

SUMMARY: in which you have a dilemma, and suddenly come face to face with the city’s superhero on the ledge of the bell tower at school.

WARNINGS: passing out, suicide attempt, female reader, unedited.

You’d think you had gotten used to it by now–the blanking out, the waking up. Even as it happened, whenever you reopened your eyes, you felt a little bit more numb every time. Yet, as it continued on, you soon realized that this was the worst one by far. You can’t really tell what was different this time around, only that when you woke, you didn’t actually feel awake. It felt as if you were almost stuck in a dream– or maybe a weird stage that had you caught in between being awake and asleep. It was as if you were empty, like someone had sucked all the blood out of your measly veins. You were alive, yes, but empty.

Closing your eyes, you feel the rusted ironwork curve beneath your fingertips. You don’t exactly remember how you got up here, though you don’t find it surprising, as your arrival here had followed your anemic episode. But here you are, standing six stories above ground, a thin barrier only between you and that narrow ledge. You’re practically a part of the sky, and as you listen to the bustle from the pavement below, you can practically feel the world tip. Everything spins, and you almost feel the wind float you away, drifting you off until there’s nothing.

Another gale rocks you, and it’s when you open your eyes that you realize you’re on the other side of the iron workings of the rail, standing shoeless on the concrete sill in your sheer mustard tights. The laces of your boots are clenched tightly between your quivering fingers, swaying slightly against the gusting breeze.

It’s probably over the whirlwind and oncoming drizzling of rain that you don’t hear the door open to the bell tower of the high school. He’s halfway, running silently, almost to the end and up in the sky when he notices you’re there. You stand a few feet away on the opposite side, hair waving in the breeze and skirt blown up like a parachute. Suddenly, the mask in his clutches is forgotten, and he takes a careful step towards you.

You’re one of the last people he’d suspect to see up here, six stories up on a bell tower and inches away from a ghastly death. You’re popular– a cheerleader even, someone expected to go out with Flash Thompson or sit at lunch with Lizzie Allen. And behind those clunky glasses that you insisted to wear all the time, though he knew they were utterly useless, you were pretty, like a china doll almost. And yet despite these attributes, you still somehow made time for the boy that was unknowingly behind you, staring you down as if he could freeze time itself.

“The worst thing you could do is look down.” The whisper that disposes from his lips is so silent that he’s almost certain you didn’t hear it, but it carries in the wind, and your fingers tighten immediately around the fencing. You didn’t have to turn around to confirm who it was speaking to you.

“It’s starting to rain,” he says, as if you don’t already know this. And yet, as his words are processed in your mind, you abruptly become aware of the water seeping into your cardigan, pooling around your bare meshed feet. You’re shivering, or shaking, the boy behind you can’t tell which one, and so he slowly inches himself towards you more, hoping his movements don’t frighten you and cause you to fall.

“Peter…” his name falls off your tongue, and he suddenly realizes his mistake. His mask remains in his hand, and he pulls it halfway over his forehead, mirroring that of a beanie. It’d be useless now in your presence.

When you don’t say anything else, he goes on inching forward, calling your name out in a hopeless reply.

From down below, someone yells, “Y/N? Is that Y/N up there?”

“Oh God,” you whisper, so low he barely hears it. You turn towards him, eyes widening and almost losing your balance when you realize who had been behind you the entirety of those few minutes. “OhGodohGodohGodohGodohGod.”

The wind blows your hair and skirt, and it feels like the slightest movement could have you fly away.

There is a general buzzing from the ground, and you don’t know if it’s from your current position or the fact that the superhero clad in red stood a mere few feet away from you. But it wasn’t that fact that had your heart in a race with the buzzing in your ears, but rather who had been behind the mask the whole time.

You attempt to straighten yourself, but your rain soiled feet betray your movements and suddenly you’re slipping, grasping back at the railing. Peter moves quickly, and his webbing encompasses your hand, trapping you to the safety of the rusting iron. You glare at the leather boots that fell from your grasp, landing on the other side of the fence with a couple of thumps.

“Here’s what I think you should do—”

“Peter.” It’s a whisper, and he can’t help but stare at you in desperation to get you out of your current situation. “Your mask.”

He stares at you in bafflement for a moment, one eyebrow arched before he scrambles, pulling the material to completely cover his face. All traces of Peter Parker suddenly disappeared.

“Y/N, listen to me; here’s what I want you to do.” The boy takes a slight step forward, as if he is the one on the ledge and not you before him. His hands are held out in front of him, a silent plead for you to stand still. Peter doesn’t know why, but at this very instant, he doesn’t trust his own instincts. If every New Yorker had traded spots with you now, he probably wouldn’t feel the utter fear that engulfed his entire being. But when it comes to you, his best friend, all meticulously calculated plans that could be formulated in just a few moments fly out the window. He simply has no confidence in what he’s supposed to do.

“I want you to turn around completely– yes I know, one of your hands is stuck.” His throat feels clammy, and he doesn’t know if he should continue on with his plan or spring over the railing in an attempt to save your anxiety ridden state. He watches, completely still, as you slowly turn around, your body shaking with even the slightest movement. “And then grab onto the rail– just grab onto it. Once you’ve got it, lean against it and then lift your right foot up and over. Got that?”

You nod, and Peter suddenly realizes how pale you’ve gone, stricken with panic.

“Okay,” he breathes, “Whatever you do, don’t step the wrong way. I’ll count you off. On three.”

You grip the curved iron and kind of prop yourself against it.

“One. Two. Three.”

You lift your leg up and over the railing so you’re sitting on it. You stare down at the ground, and you’re frozen once again.

Peter says, “Good. Great job. Now, just stop looking down.”

You slowly look at him and then reach for the floor of the bell tower with your right foot, and once you’ve found it, he speaks again, “Now get that left leg back however you can. Don’t let go of the wall.”

By now you’re shaking so hard you’re sure he can hear your teeth chatter. Cautiously, you lift your leg over the railing, stopping in a panic as your tights snag onto one of the sharp grooves. Peter takes a brisk step towards you, watching your moment of alarm. Jerking your leg forward, your tights tear free, giving yourself enough momentum to rip the webbings’ hold of your hand. You hurl across the puddled concrete and into open arms.

For a minute you can almost feel it, with his hands gripping your shoulders and your fingers latched tightly around his biceps. The sense of peace as your mind goes quiet, like you’re already dead. You are weightless and free. Nothing and no one to fear, not even yourself.

And despite the tight crinkle around your closed eyelids, the image is so clear and vivid. You can almost see the ground itself, six stories below, slick and damp, your body lying there.

“You alright?” Peters voice is quiet, soothing enough to have you open your eyes. He stares at you in silence, his mask once again pulled up and curling around his ears. There’s still a buzzing down below, and from the volume you’re almost certain it’s because of the boy before you.

You take a breath, it’s shaky, but it’s enough for him. He tightens his arms around you, bringing you into his chest as your fingers tug on the material of his suit. You want to cry, scream until you’ve gutted your throat raw and bang your fists on the ground until they’re cracked and bleeding. But you remain calm, unwavering of any emotion, and it frightens Peter down to the core.

“Thank you, Peter Parker.” It’s a whisper, but still there.  You reach up and kiss him on the cheek, and he catches the scent of your shampoo, and it smells of flowers.

He curls his fingers into your back. “Let’s get you home, okay?”

“Okay.”

i would’ve stayed for you → t.h

SUMMARY: au! where everyone is born with a small tattoo, and whenever you fall in love with someone, their tattoo appears on your body. tom, who drifted apart from you once his acting career took off, falters during an interview, and its announced that he’s attained someone else’s tattoo. it’s not until tom spontaneously shows up at your doorstep and apologizes profusely that you realized it’s your tattoo that had inked itself onto his skin.

WARNINGS: language. fluff. you strip your shirt off lol. angst (?)

The morning was going by slow, exhaustingly slow. You could say that much. The coffee machine was broken at your workplace and the lack of noise in the office was driving you insane, encouraging the bags under your sleep deprived eyes to induce them to close even just for a few moments. You couldn’t recall the last time you had a decent amount of sleep. Now, your nights were filled with paperwork and news articles that you worked your ass off to write, only to be rejected each time you attempted to present a new idea to your boss. At least there was the ac that froze up the entire office building, your khaki sweater doing nothing to appeal the freezing temperature.

A pair of hands suddenly slapped down onto your desk, making you jump from your chair and bite down on your tongue to hold a spew of words you’d rather not have your boss overhear. A giggle was what brought you to look up at the face of the person that nearly scared you half to death, and a bubble of annoyance manifested on your features as your assistant smiled giddily down at you.

“Yes?”

She leaned down over your desk, whispering excitedly in your ear, “There’s an interview right now.”

Your brows furrowed.

“I don’t get it,” you said flatly.

She sighs loudly, dramatically emphasizing her point of you having no clue what the hell she was talking about.

“Tom Holland,” she drew out, “is doing an interview next door. Like, at this very second.”

The name made you freeze, and you leaned down to pick up the pen that had rolled off your desk to try and dampen the nervousness that itched at your palms.

You nearly choked out the next words, exerting a cough that resembled your discomfort. “This is important, why?”

She gave you a wicked smile, one that was as if she was about to tell you a secret nobody around the globe could know. As if she had done something so unbelievably, she’d want the entire globe to know. “Rumor has it he earned a new tattoo.”

With her words, you subconsciously rubbed the bandaid on your left bicep, covering the markings that ultimately decided your fate. You felt it was stupid, the whole someone falls in love with you and attains your tattoo forever thing. At least, that was your point of view about it. It was just that you found it unfair that something so minuscule could determine what relationships changed for the better or for the worst. And for forever? Wouldn’t it just be better if they’d disappear after your feelings dissipated for that person? You, however, couldn’t fathom the thought of having someone else’s ink punctuated into your skin, and it’s obvious due to the small alignment of swirls that were detailed on the right side of your ribcage. 

“Imagine it though!” She gushed. “Having Tom Holland with your tattoo!”

“I don’t have time for this right now-“

“Whoever it is sure is lucky-“

“Amya-“

“I mean, I couldn’t tell you what I’d do to get Tom Holland to have my tattoo.”

“Shouldn’t you be at the fax machine?”

Your drone of words immediately silenced her, and with a nod she left you back in your cubicle, tapping your pen against the polished wood of your desk in contemplation.

For the next few hours, the interview was all the buzz, and you avoided anyone who even thought about mentioning the topic. However, you didn’t know how long you could forestall it, as in 24 hours the interview would be released world wide, and the thought of what was once your childhood best friend falling in love with someone else really took a stab to your gut.

And yet the weight didn’t fall onto you completely until the work day was completed, your computer was shut down, and the rough draft of environmental damage was shoved into the pocket of your backpack. Outside was a madhouse, you realized. Cameras surrounded the building, numerous flashes going off all at once it made your vision blur. You attempted to push through though, muttering excuses left and right to those that trampled into you. Your gaze remained to the ground, not wanting to get involved until you heard someone shout your name through the crowd. Looking up, you saw him, standing by an open door of a yellow taxi cab, eyes pleading in a way that made you not want to look away. In three years, it was the first time you had seen him standing there face to face, just a mere ten feet away. He looked at you as if he wanted to yell your name again, scream obscene apologies at you for the months that he had distanced himself. You didn’t want to look away, you couldn’t, but with hesitance, you did, and the anxious cries of the paparazzi followed you as you rounded the corner of the street.

The next couple of days mirrored the last. Amya, your assistant, had demanded you watch the interview with her the second it had released. You declined, of course, muttering an excuse that it was your lunch break and that was not your ideal way of spending it. The interview, as you imagined, was everywhere. On television, in the trending section of YouTube, and even in the newspaper. Does Tom Holland have a girlfriend? Tom Holland secret lover? Who does the tattoo belong to? You personally thought it was absolutely ridiculous, there were more important events occurring around the world, and sooner or later this whole thing would blow off and it’d just be another celebrity occurrence that everyone would keep on referring to. As of the moment, it was seriously getting in the way of your article, and the enlightenment of exposing your research and opinions were quickly depleting. So you went back to your apartment early, dejected and exhausted, drowning in the hollowness of your present annoyance. There you attempted to type, pulling at your hair and groaning in anguish at the empty word document that seemed to stare menacingly at you. All inspiration was gone, and you sighed defeatedly, your moment of torment cut short by a rhythm of knocks on your front door.

You called for them to wait, brushing back your hair and fanning your flushed face. When you opened it, you stared right into the eyes of the person you had least expected to see. He stood there, unsure, lips upturned slightly in a smile that radiated vulnerability. Your jaw went slack, and all thoughts of your article drained to the back of your mind.

“Shit, uh, come in.”

Tom stepped over the threshold timidly, hands crossed behind his back.

“Do you want anything to drink?”

“No,” his voice cracked softly and he cleared his throat, eyes trailing around your apartment. He was either extremely fascinated with the bowl of fruit that sat atop your table, or he just wouldn’t look at you.

You leaned on your kitchen counter top. “So why are you here?”

For a split second you saw confusion flash on his face, and he cleared his throat once more. “Wha-What do you mean?”

You laughed, softly, cocking your head in interest. “Exactly what I just said. What are you doing here? Out of all places, out of all times.”

“I-I need to talk to you.”

“About?”

“Have you seen the interview yet?”

You sighed, almost wanting to laugh at the thought. “No.”

Tom let out a breath, his poster slacking as he seems to turn away from you. Almost in a whisper, you spoke, trailing your finger through the tiles on your kitchen island. “I don’t have to catch up with someone’s life when they won’t even bother to ask me how my day went.”

Tom’s head snaps up, stepping towards the island counter and resting his hands along the edge. You watched as his fingers tightly gripped the ridge.

“I’m sorry.”

“Tom-”

“I never meant to lose contact with you.”

“Then why did you?”

His posture softens, and you can’t help but lean forward, crossing your arms over themselves.

“I-I don’t know.” 

“There has to be a reason,” you pushed.

“I couldn’t bare the thought of you being mad at me, I guess.”

You opened your mouth to speak, but he quickly cut you off with another plea.

“I think I just thought that if I ignored the issue, it would go away.”

“It clearly didn’t,” you spoke flatly.

“I know but-”

“It clearly made it worse.”

“Yes, I know but-!”

“But what?”

Tom captured his bottom lip between his teeth. “I never wanted to lose you.”

“Tom-”

“You never called me once, when I left. You realize that, right?”

You froze. He was right.

“You know, I thought you just needed some time to cool off,” he continued, “I told myself I would give you a few weeks, a month at most, and then I would call you. Because I get it, I understand that leaving suddenly and then blowing our friendship off with a letter was a bad move, and I knew I could do better than that. But when I did, when I finally mustered up the confidence to call you, you had my number blocked and anything else that I could’ve contacted you on.”

You’re quiet for a few moments, sinking in the words. “I guess I just didn’t know how to react.”

“Neither of us did.”

He smiled at you, a toothless, sincere smile, and for a moment, you almost wanted to smile back.

“You could’ve talked to me, you know. I would’ve understood. I knew how important it was to you.”

“I was scared,” he admitted, “I didn’t know how you would take it. If you’d ask me to stay, or if you just wouldn’t care and let me go.”

“You know I wouldn’t do either of those things. I wouldn’t hold you back. I would’ve supported you, Tom, and I still do.”

He doesn’t reply, just runs a hand through his hair, his eyes crinkling at the corners just a bit.

“I’m pretty sure you didn’t come here to bitch and moan about missing me though,” you said.

“Who says I didn’t?” He countered, leaning forward to match a teasing posture.

“The interview.”

“Right.” His shoulders sink a little. “So you haven’t seen it?”

You shook your head.

“I-I don’t really know how to put this then.”

You leaned forward, encouraging him. He took a breath, as if preparing himself, and he spits out the words in a frenzy.

“Thetattooisyours.”

Your eyebrows crinkled, processing his words. It was like he packed them into a small ball and hurled them across the counter at you.

“What?”

Tom sighed. “You heard about the rumor? About me having another persons tattoo?”

You nodded.

“The tattoo. It’s yours.”

Your chest suddenly felt tight, and there’s a lump that managed to form itself in your throat, making you practically choke out your next words. You know you’re at a crossroads. On one hand, Tom left you. You’re still bitter and hurt and reeling at those few years without him. And yet, you can’t help but feel a wave of relief wash over you. He’s here now, and he’s pouring his heart out to you.

“I-I don’t know what to say.”

“I just need you to understand that this doesn’t have to change anything.” He paused. “Actually, it can, as I would like more than anything to have you back as my best friend.”

You nodded once again, trailing along the side of the counter until you were about three feet away from him.

“I want to see it.”

Tom bobbed his head, pulling up the sleeve of his shirt just by an inch, the trails of black ink becoming visible. You reached up and traced the delicate swirls that formed the shape of a small leaf, feeling him shiver under your caress.

“When?” You asked.

“When I left.” He replied.

You moved back a step, suddenly aware of your proximity. Reaching down to the bottom of your blouse, you begin to unbutton it, working your way up.

“I want to show you something.”

You could nearly hear Tom swallow as you exposed the skin of your chest, moving the fabric of your blouse back to expose the twists and lines that vaguely reflected the outline of the sun.

“That’s-That’s mine.”

He reached forward, unsure, gently running his thumb across the crests of the middle and to the lines that drove outwards.

“It appeared when you left,” you breathed. “I think you leaving was some kind of revelation for the both of us.”

You observed him. His reaction, the uneven tremble of his breaths, the way his pupils dilated when he looked at you. And unexpectedly, on an impulse, you cupped his chin, carefully bringing him down to you, melding your lips together.

Kissing him was like anything you could’ve ever expected and more. It was slow at first, tentative, unaccustomed to each other. Suddenly, your confidence grew, and your back was pressed against the counter. It felt so right, and you grinned against his mouth as his hands slid to your shoulders, warily peeling the shirt down your arms. 

Abruptly, he stopped, fingers brushing against the band aid.

“You hide it?” He asked softly. “Why?”

“I don’t exactly like the idea of a tattoo determining one’s relationship with others.” You confided. “I just feel like everything would be so much easier with out it.”

Tom gazed at you with hooded eyes, intertwining his fingers with your own as he rested his forehead against yours. You smiled shyly at him, closing your eyes as you whispered.

“But with you, I don’t want to be strangers anymore.” You paused, taking a breath. “In fact, I think I’d rather ditch the best friends thing.”

He smiled slyly at you, and all fearful thoughts of rejection were whisked away as he glided his lips over yours.

Without warning, you rolled your hips, and Tom faltered, his head falling into the crevice of your neck.

“For the record,” he shuddered, “if you had asked, I would’ve stayed for you.

besoothing burdens → p.p

SUMMARY: peter announces that he has to fly half way across the world out of the request of Tony Stark, and he comforts you in reassurance that he’ll be alright.

WARNINGS: short & sweet. i accidentally deleted the first post, go me.

It was a whisper, like a gentle breeze of calm wind. An elixir of soft sentiments that lingered with the warmth of his presence. The words, melded with this breath, met with your bare back, a shiver crawling up your spine that left a trail of goosebumps to arise in his wake.

“Y/N.” You felt the callous pads of his fingers gently tracing the soft skin on the nape of your neck, brushing your hair aside. His hands threaded between the wispy tendrils, crowned around your head as if they were to form a halo. Lips found their way to your chin, a fragile stamp that had you clenching your teeth to abstain from gasping aloud.

Peter hummed against your skin, knowing that you were awake. Nonetheless, his kiss remained, peppering down your neck and coalescing with your skin. His touch left you breathless, tinting your cheeks with a glowing affection.

“Y/N.” Bliss rolled from between his lips, husk and raw. Sweet, loving, and whispered it came. Like honey resonating from his tongue and sifting through every fiber of your body. It came again, pouring from the delicate kisses that were being lovingly pressed up the small of your back to the corners of your shoulder blades.

You turned your head, your temple resting on the pillow and hooking onto the warmth of the eyes peering from over your shoulder. His hair was fluffy, curly strands of nutmeg underscoring the ivory of his face. A somnolent smile pulled up the corners of your lips at the sight of him, your lashes drifting close when he assailed another kiss at the corner by your ear. He trailed off with dulcet sigh, intruding the silence.

“Y/N.” You snapped your irises open, solidifying the honey and swiveling your body at the urgency laced between his vowels. You lay back, ogling the boy hovering over your flushed body. His mouth went to open, ready to vocalize, yet you brought your hand up, gingerly placing your palm on his cheek, promptly barring him silent.

“It’s five a.m., do you realize that?”

Peter shook his head bashfully, captivating his bottom lip between his teeth, instinctively leaning into the amenity of your tender touch. You pushed yourself up from the linen to reach him, intertwining your other hand through the flat coils of his ruffled hair.

“No, I…” The boy paused, unsure of how to put his epiphany into the form of words. “I just had to see you.”

You beamed with vehemence, shifting and bringing his body down to lay beside yours. You leant your head amidst his chest, sighing affectionately when you felt his fingers brush against the underside of your jaw. The serenity of your euphoria filtered the room with a haze of golden warmth.

“Y/N?”

You hummed a response, enduring in the ardor of his being.

“I-I need to tell you something.”

“Mhm?”

You could feel him hesitating, his tongue rolling slack as he held the words before they fell prostrate onto you. As encouragement, you traced your hand over the ivory skin of his arm, pleasuring in the ripple as he shivered.

“I-I’m leaving.”

You sat up briskly, your eyes wide and doe-like as you peered down at him, lips parted with unfounded words. The slight furrow of your brows spurred him on, and he too straightened up. “What?”

“W-Well for Mr. Stark, I-I need to go.” You watched intently as he took in his bottom lip, the intensity in his eyes sparring with your own. “I have a chance, finally! It’s in Germany and-“

“Germany?” Your heart dropped, emitting a gasp as Peter persisted his ramble. You didn’t know what to say when his words had found their demise in the silence of your bedroom. Tears that had contrived in your worried eyes soon slipped down, and you had to take the wobbling of your bottom lip between your teeth. Peter noticed almost instantly, taking your hands in his and ever so gently brushing the pad of his thumb back and forth to ease their trembles.

“What are you thinking, Peter? To put yourself that head on in danger? You don’t even have a proper suit a-and you’re just going to run blindly into s-something because Mr. Stark wants you to?”

“Y/N,” he murmured, wiping your tears with his free hand. His palm cradled around the curve of your jaw, delicately placing a strand of hair behind your ear that had become captive in the stickiness of your cheeks. “Let me do this, okay? I... I have to do this. Nothing bad will happen to me. Mr. Stark won’t allow that.”

“Y-You don’t know that!” You spoke. It came as a whisper, yet frightened and laced with worry. “While you’re out there, you can’t guarantee your safety. Neither can Mr. Stark!”

His response was immediate, pulling you back down into his chest, muffling your despairs as you latched onto his torso. All you could let him do was guide his hand up the small of your back, massaging the skin in a voiceless endeavor of comforting your worries.

“You’ll come back to me in one piece, right?” Your words were whispered and innocent as your forefinger traced invisible patterns in the divot of his collarbone.

Peter was quiet for a moment, before besoothing your burdens. He reveled down at you, wrapping his arms around you so tightly that there was no room for anything else. No pain, no anguish, just love. And you marveled at the fact.

my ao3

━━━ ADEPTUS XIAO

my teeth in your heart

in liyue, there’s a fable that’s oft–repeated among the youth of qingce village. xiao knows this tale, he witnessed it firsthand, but who is he to tell it to? all he knows is that the memory is prevalent as the disembodied whispers of karmic debt that call his name.

00. an amputated soul

01. and here, i find you (coming soon!)

━━━ KAEDEHARA KAZUHA

with a silver tongue (coming soon!)

you’ve grown weary of the sea–salt tinge and flavors from the ships on the shore, and all you want to do is return to life on land. kazuha promises that there is more from the world, and you can’t decide if it’s the way his voice sounds or the words he speaks that pulls you in most. (nsfw)

━━━ PETER PARKER (no longer writing)

don’t you lose

you ultimately decide that peter’s life is worth saving over yours, and it takes a sacrifice that may destroy everything you ever knew and loved.

besoothing burdens

peter announces that he has to fly half way across the world out of the request of tony stark, and he comforts you in reassurance that he’ll be alright.

all the bright places

in which you have a dilemma, and suddenly come face to face with the city’s superhero on the ledge of the bell tower at school.

━━━ TOM HOLLAND (no longer writing)

sunshine smile

a certain feeling may be screwing up your friendship with a certain someone, but in one night, you realize that could all turn around.

i would’ve stayed for you

alternate universe in which everyone is born with a small tattoo, and when you fall in love with someone, their tattoo appears on your body.

sunshine smile → t.h

SUMMARY: in which you can’t fall asleep. bestfriends!au

WARNINGS: anxiety & fluff. written in third person rather than second.

She stared at the peeling paint of the ceiling in the darkness of her bedroom, the whirring of the fan quietly humming in her ears, creating a soft white noise. She’s burrowed down under a comforter and a blanket of silver light.

Besides from that, it was absolutely silent, causing a small bit of panic to arise from the young girl . Her doe-like irises widened, and flickered neurotically as she waited for the night to come to an end.

It was 1:42 am, the time in the morning where her mind began to run feral and out of control. One minute it's firm in her grasp, and the next it's sprinting away at a pace that made its meaning indecipherable and incoherent.

There it was, climbing her bookshelf. There it was, swinging from the drapes.

Sighing, she buried her face into her pillow, her felt sheets a tangle between her legs. A street lamp from outside slightly illuminated her room, casting long shadows behind her furniture and across her sanctuary. The bathroom light flickered.

Other than that, her room was pitch black, blanketed by the moons light, a soft tear in the black silk of the sky. The night grew older and the air grew colder. Still, she waited, yearning for that dark silence inside the bud of life, everything unknown.

"Tom?" she whispered, breaking the dead buzzing that hung about in the room.

There's a rustling noise, followed by a soft groan from the boy that slept on the floor. Y/N frowned, pulling her bottom lip in between her teeth. There were no more sounds, and it was several minutes before the girl decided to speak once again.

"Tom?" she inquired a bit more loudly. He shot up, pupils wide as the sleeping bag falls from his chest. She could hear his heavy breathing, suddenly feeling guilty for waking him up.

"Y/N?" he shifted towards her, head perked at the girl who sunk down into the mattress of her bedding. Her fingers were intertwined together as they laid upon her chest, moving slightly with each breath that seemed so hard to take. "What's wrong? Are you alright?"

The girl squinted her eyelids together, teeth still pressed down onto her lip. She laid still, waiting for the boy to lie back down again and fall asleep. But she knew that wouldn't happen. Hearing Tom stand up and the pitter-patter of his feet on the floorboards, sounding like the festering thunder in the annual spring showers.

Y/N felt the bed divot beside her, the boy sighing quietly as he rested his head on a soft cream pillow, the crescent of honey locks that graced his head spreading about, framing his face. The girl turned her head towards him, the moons light highlighting his cheekbones. He looked as if he were glowing.

"I know you're looking at me," the boy whispered after a while, eyes lids still fluttering slightly as they stared upwards.

She immediately felt a warmth spread across her face, grateful for the minimal light that hid her crimson flesh. Turning her head away, she let a small smirk crawl onto Tom’s face. He shifted his whole figure, lying upon his side, hipbones digging into the mattress of the bed. The moon dipped tresses sat amidst his forehead, sticking up every which way. From the corner of her eyes, Y/N still found herself absolutely entranced.

Being best friends with him had its perks, Sunday sleep overs, exclusive backstage action, and early morning cafe visits were the norm. But when she found herself growing feelings for him, she knew she had completely and utterly doomed herself.

"Why aren't you asleep?"

Y/N's heart palpitated as she noticed Tom reach towards her hand, interlacing their fingers.

"Can't." she mumbled, lips forming the vowels so quietly the boy beside her almost didn't hear it.

With a surge of sudden boldness, he grasped the girl's arm, pulling her close to him. Her head rested on his chest, both shocked by his action.

"Just close your eyes," Tom reassured, the calming words muffled by Y/N's hair. She nodded slightly, swallowing away the pit that started to form in her throat, constricting her from movement of any sort. It wasn't like Tom to be so intimate with her.

Yet she wasn’t complaining.

Unconsciously, she slipped her arm over his chest, the rise and fall of her own falling in sync with him. The only thing between them were a knot of cotton sheets and a barrier of friendship that had yet to be broken.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THIS DORK

when people tell me they're about to go see infinity war

don’t you lose → p.p

SUMMARY: you ultimately decide that peter’s life is worth saving over yours, and it takes a sacrifice that may destroy everything you ever knew and loved.

WARNINGS: death, angst. so. much. goddamn. angst. also this is my first post. lets see how this goes...

Everything had fallen into place so quickly, you hadn’t had the time to think about what you were even doing.

In fact, it was unusual. The sensation of it all. The careless throw as your body slammed down on the cemented sidewalk. The sounds of snapping bones followed by a blistering silence was all that you could make of upon the impact. In no way had you expected the feeling to encompass your entire body. Not the pain, but the burning numbness that paralyzed your limbs and made your sight turn foggy.

It all seem so stupid now. You knew the plan was in no other way but suicidal. You knew that pushing the boy to the side to take what was supposed to be his blow would end up with you injured in one way or another. And now, the twisted, jagged pieces of what used to be your combat staff protruded from your abdomen, peaking through the hindsight of your fading vision. You could feel the building pressure on your lungs, the bubbling air in your chest and dribbling blood from the corner of your lips with nowhere to go. The sharp taste of copper was prominent, layering your tongue and the back of your throat. It didn’t even have to take a genius to realize what the pouring liquid was from your lower torso.

You used to think, that in this moment, you’d feel a swell of pride overtake the agonizing pain. You used to think that you wouldn’t have minded when or how you died, as long as what you were doing benefited those in the future. But there was none of that. No triumph and no victorious battle cries. If you were completely honest, there was just one person that consumed your thoughts at this very moment, which you figured was rewarded by your ongoing selfishness. It was mostly just blind panic, coated with the stubbornness that you had carried your whole life through, sweetened by your act to keep the one you loved hanging on just a little bit longer. Despite the silence, the nauseating ringing that echoed in your head, you could still hear his gutting screams as you managed to push him to the side. You had stolen what was his, redirecting the blow from him onto yourself. It’s not like you minded, anyways, you were just focused on protecting him.

It wasn’t until you heard a shout of relief that you finally managed to realize you earned a sliver of your hearing back. You let yourself calm, watching as his face materialized above you, hoping you weren’t imagining the boys features as he kneeled next to your quivering body.

This lead you to smile. It had worked. He was alive.

A strange feeling of peace washed over you, grinning stained teeth as you breathed out his name.

“Peter...”

The blood that gurgled up from your throat made his name seem more of a choked sob than a relieved sigh. He leaned in closer, hands fluttering over your body as if he didn’t know where to place them. Lazily, you reached up your palm, letting him tightly grasp it and interlace your trembling fingers. You watched as his eyes took in your sight, pretending not to notice as they widened in pure horror.

“I used to hope I’d look decent for the last time you’d see me.”

It was a nonchalant joke, one that sparked a pain up your spine and threw you into a merciless coughing fit. Peter didn’t laugh. Instead, his lips twitched down as he watched a single tear of blood slip down your chin. The panic was highlighted in his eyes as he brought his face closer to your own.

“W-What are you talking about?” You could hear the sob that threatened to emit from his throat, noticing the extravagant amount of effort it took to keep his voice barely steady. “D-Don’t talk like that. You l-look great!”

He pretended to brush the situation aside, but you could see the real message behind his words, convincing himself that there was a chance you’d be able to survive this. Even you could tell that that was unlikely.

Peter was quick to accept the other palm that you had then extended in his direction, wrapping his fingers around your wrist and pulling you into his lap, sliding his other arm underneath to support your shoulders. Even that slight movement made you shudder, wrenching out a groan.

Peter began to apologize profusely, and yet you were able to silence him with the slightest upturn of your lips. You suddenly felt warmer, the churning in your stomach slowly dissipated, and your vision swam with the boys eyes that stared above you. This new angle somehow made it just a bit easier to catch your breath.

“I’m not sorry,” you heaved, finding it difficult to catch enough air to complete even the simplest of sentences. “Y-You’re safe, t-that’s all that-t matters.”

“Shh,” he coaxed, fingers tightening around your wrist even more so. “You’ll be fine. You’ll be okay. We’ll make it make to the Tower, and you’ll get better.”

You locked eyes onto his own, the fierceness behind those bloodshot irises almost made you want to believe in what he was saying.

Almost.

You sighed, shuddering breaths wracking your chest. “You k-know that is never going-g to h-happen...”

There just wasn’t enough time.

The panic that settled upon his face clutched at your heart. You did your best at a subtle smile, but the red bubbles that seeped through your teeth seemed to have the opposite effect of your attempt to coax him.

“Stop it,” he seethed, growing frustrated at the obvious fact that there was nothing he could do to help you. “You shouldn’t have done that.”

Peter closed his eyes, pressing his forehead to your temple and letting out a shuddering breath that grazed warmth against your neck. He hiccuped, a feeble act to suppress his sobs. “It was supposed to be me.”

He could feel the quake in your fingers as you released his hand, bringing yours to rest upon the line of his jaw. Peter tilted his face, nose lightly brushing up against your own.

You felt the first tear on your cheek, the rest that had precariously settled upon his eyelids letting loose. His bottom lip quivered against your skin, no longer being able to suppress the sobs that wracked his chest.

“I’m still here,” you managed to splutter out, your poorly oxygenated lungs struggling to keep up with the simple words. It was hard, wanting to stare into his eyes until your vision faded completely. And yet his were scrunched closed, nuzzled into the hair that splayed across his lap.

“This is my fault,” he choked. “I should have been more careful.”

Peter sucked in hard, the sharp breath slicing through his body. You let your hand rest from his cheek, watching as it left red smudges in its wake. You almost wanted to laugh, but it was hard to find the energy to do so.

“I was there,” you sighed. When did your head become to feel so lightheaded? “I chose...”

You found breathing to quickly become a problem once again, the angle only letting you hold on for so much longer. It was almost as if you could feel the cavity in you chest slowly collapsing.

“I chose you.” The last word was a struggle to finish off, sending your body into a fit of wet coughs.

Peters grip tightened around you, cradling you in his chest. His arms had you wrapped up on his battered body, face nuzzled to the hollow of your neck. You could feel him trembling, the wetness of his tears that buried themselves in your hair. But you hadn’t minded, all you felt was his heartbeat on your own, and the unusually slow pace of the beating underneath your rib cage.

“I love you.” It was a soft whisper that emitted from your lips. Nonetheless, it was steady.

“I love you, too.”

You felt the ghost of his lips flutter by your ear as his words caressed your skin. There was a pull of a smile on his face, and you would have masked his own if you could have found the energy.

“Don’t you lose.”

The words came to him like a deadweight, the final realization that you weren’t going to make it past the next minute. But you didn’t want to focus on that, you only wanted to focus on him. The slightest smell of his cologne that filled your nose, bringing you to know how dearly you would miss that scent. You focused on his hands that held you close, his breath brushing your cheek, and the lips that kissed your skin. You sank into the embrace, feeling your body mold to his, your breathing gradually become slower and slower.

“I wouldn’t dream of it.”

You felt him shift, locking onto his eyes once more before he dipped his head, melding his lips to your own.

You focused on his heartbeat, on the life that he gave you in your final moments. The steady beat guided you away from him, and you let out a sob as you buried your face into his chest.

Peter stiffened, you could feel it, the atmosphere becoming unusually silent. All you heard was him, and that was alright with you. You could hear his heart, his breaths, his wrenching sobs he fought so hard to hang on to. But even then you could feel yourself slipping away, sinking further into his arms, into his warmth.

“I won’t...” You reminisced his voice, closing your eyes. The weight of keeping them open had become unbearable. “I won’t lose.”

The ghost of a smile played on your lips, the ceasing of your breaths was enough to let Peter emit a bloodcurdling cry.

“I’ll win this,” you heard him croak, just before the blackness took you over completely. Just before you felt the warmth he gave you disappear. “Only because of you.”