They Didn't Deserve This - Blog Posts

If you wish to support me. Spread this screenshot of what that comment said all over twitter. Make sure that the particular JC stan who lied about my book being a submission sees this. Let her know what her lies did. Let the mods of the event know what their silence did to me.

I have made a lot of mistakes, over the last few months and for that i apologise. Especially when I tried to get a whole bunch of them reported for being involved and interacting with my tweets after blocking. It is the only reason for which i apologise. Nothing else.

The definition of “Maybe in another universe”

No, because I keep thinking of Neil having his uncle do research, to find who bought her and what happened, all the details of her death. He knows its an absolutely horrible thing and how soul crushing it is but he finds where her remains are and takes Jean to her, giving him the opportunity to put her to rest, to be properly mourned. Maybe even getting to keep her ashes and learn the truth. It would be this horrible heartbreaking thing, but Jean can finally stop letting his mind spiral on the endless 'what if's' and 'could have been's'. Neil comforting Jean and realizing he just isn't want he needs so he takes him back to the floozies and Jean just spills his heart out because his little sister is gone. But he has her ashes and her urn has a little duckling on it. The engraving "Elodie Moreau" in beautiful French. On nights where he can't bury that box in his heart he craddles her in his arms and tells stories of things that make him happy, explaining his list, talking about maybe, just maybe allowing himself to fall in love, admitting that Jabberwocky isn't all that bad, but never mentioning the truama, never talking about the nest, because he needs his baby sister to know that one of them made it, that he's okay and that never once did he forget about her.

AHHH Im a little drunk and a lot heartbroken with too much to think about. I really hope we lesrn what happened to her and I want Jean to be able to properly greive. 😭😭

I am driving myself INSANE thinking of Elodie Moreau.

She was TEN when Jean was sold. TWELVE when she was sold. How old when she died? How many horrors did she have to suffer? How bad was her death for dead to be “a mild term for it”??

All I can imagine is how Jean must have torn himself apart at having to leave her. How he fought for himself and for her in the Nest those first few months and how he slowly had to lock her away to keep himself from sinking under. Because he was drowning all those years, there’s no mistake, but if he’d thought of what—who—he left behind and where? Oh Jean would have been dead long before 2007.

All I can think about is Jean finding out the details of Elodie’s death, of having to tell Jeremy and Laila and Cat. And having to sit there as they process and allow them to comfort him because he does want to be comforted, but how can he wrap his head around what happened to his little sister? And then he had to sit there while the Trojans find out that his parents SOLD both their kids and let them suffer. Jean has to sit in the eye of a hurricane, everything around him static, as the world finds out that Elodie Moreau was real, lived, and died gruesomely and he couldn’t do anything to stop it.

How much of a failure Jean must think he is, even when it wasn’t his job to protect her, but he still did because if not him, who else?

I can’t stop thinking that she never reached 15. That Jean never lived more than 14 years with his beloved little sister and had to instead wrap her up in chains and hide her in the darkness of his mind. That loss, is soul shattering, and he will never recover, because she’s gone.

(keep in mind, al is already a barista at a coffee shop, you can't change my mind on that one.)