The One Who Waits - Blog Posts

  - BAAL AND NARINDER -

                                                   •   milksakex   •

It was a windy night. The dark sky stretched on in an endless black. Its silver and gold stars flickered in and out, signaling the end of their short life. A tall black cat sat, perched on the top of a church, looking down at the cult. He had red camellia flowers on both sides of his head and a white cloak with a black heart pendant on the side of his neck.

 Underneath was a black shawl with beads at the end. He had a long tail that faded into red and his paws were the same. On top of his head was the skull of some ancient creature, not much bigger than him. The cat had piercing red eyes with black slits that caught every moving thing. This cat was named Baal. 

 Baal scanned the cult, with watchful eyes, taking in the beauty. There were plenty of houses lining the right side of the cult with a large garden and barn in the back. On the left side was a medical area with red camellias growing all around it. Beside the garden were six boxes, two bigger than the others were holding seeds, and the other four held manure.

 There was a giant ivory-colored path going four ways in an X shape with a circle in the middle. It was made of bricks are sparkled in the night. In that circle stood a giant statue of a ram. It was decorated with gold blocks, wind chimes, bells, flowers, and paper slips containing prayers. Around the statue were four smaller statues mimicking the bigger one. In between, there were cushions for all to sit on. And there were a lot. 

At the end of each path though, lay one small pedestal each with different colored crowns on them. these were also decorated. The first, closest to the entrance of the cult was purple and dressed in spider silk, the next was beside the church and was yellow. Mushrooms were growing from that one. The next one beside the houses and garden was blue and had fish carings on it, and the last one next to the medical area was green, dawned in vines and flowers. 

The trees around the cult were also decorated, in a similar fashion to the ram statue. Baal sighed, grabbing the skull on his head before his eyes snapped onto a shadow. His eyes perked at the familiar noise of someone creeping about. His eyes squinted at the cult much more closely. 

Everyone was supposed to be inside their houses, fast asleep. He had checked the bushes, roofs, and inside the church. Plus the lamb was out... Apparently, Baal was wrong. With a burst, a short, dark gray, clumsy-looking, no-tailed cat, jumped out of a bush. It was busy trying to catch spiders around the cult. It wore the usual clothing but with more flair. A tight red shirt with white markings, fitted red shorts, and a white jacket with a red stripe in the middle on both the back and front.

 It had shackles on his arms and neck that were decorated with gold lines, dots, and colors of red flowers. Taking a closer look, Baal could see colored eyes on the shackles as well. They were purple, yellow, green, and blue. Ironic. The cat had two big red eyes with a hole in its forehead. 

 It would trip over pieces of stone, his feet, and even air, leading it to land roughly on his face. Baal couldn't help but choke down a chuckle at its pitiful attempt at hunting. He may have not gotten much training at a young age, but even he could’ve done better than that. The cat got up and dusted off its clothes, before picking up the net it was using. It scanned the patchy land before spotting the spider again. This time it was cleaning its mandibles nearby, completely unaware. 

The cat trotted over quietly and hid in the nearby grass. Unfortunately, like an untrained kitten, it moved too quickly and stepped on a twig. The spider quickly turned around, noticing the cat. For a second, it was quiet before all hell broke loose. The spider scurried over the cult with the cat in tow. It dodged and weaved the swinging net, before sliding over to a manure box and running between the cat's legs. The cat, however as ungraceful as it is, stumbled and fell into it. 

“FUCK!” It shouted before landing and digging its face out of the box. There was a large lump of brown on its head and face that slipped off and landed on the ground. It held its arms in an arched position and slowly turned around, wiping the poop out of its eyes and mouth. 

To think this was the man that taught him how to better coordinate his feet when fighting, made Baal shout in laughter. His quick chuckles broke the night's silence. Quickly, he covered his mouth but that did little to muffle his laughter. When Baal finished, he noticed the smaller cat glaring up at him. Its red eyes burning. 

Baal hopped down and walked over to the cat, catching the stench of the manure covering its face. Some of it was already dried on. Baal wrinkled his nose as much as he could. “You seem to be having a lot of trouble, Narinder.” Baal couldn't help but hiss out the name with disgust. After all, he was his- No. No. Not anymore. He doesn't have to call him that anymore. Narinder scoffed, glaring harder at the taller one. “Watch it, child.” It hissed back. Its ears were pointed back and its fur was lifted. “You know nothing of the pain, I deal with.” Baal smirked. “I do, you put me through it after all. Plus, I just wondering if you needed help. Maybe I could help you hunt. Properly.” At the last sentence, Baal smiled, keeping a playful demeanor.

Narinder grumbled a bit and hissed, before going silent. His fur looked like it wanted to get away from him with how high it was. “No. I don’t need your help. You betrayed me. Both of you. I don’t need help from a traitor.” Baal glared back at his old master, mulling over his words carefully, all with a smile. He knew they his m- Narinder looked like he was ready to pounce, but Baal couldn't help but chuckle at the thought. He wondered how light Narinder was now.  

Flicking his eyes back to the smaller, Baal took a deep breath, slightly bowed his head, and patted down his fur. “My apologies. I’d rather not bother a wondrous god like you with my presence in catching spiders. You very clearly have it under control.” He looked down at the smaller cat with a smug look in his eye. Just as it was about to screech his ear off, Baal- with a swift flick of his wrist, teleported away. 

                                                           • End •

I like to imagine Narinder would’ve tried it at least once……

im not really an artist but i loved drawing this! it is for my tf2 x cotl… mashup thing? kitty spy :) song is sick of losing soulmates by dodie

Recently, almost the entire cult of the lamb has passed and decided to sketch the bishops of the old faith.

Cult of the Lamb: Redemption Chapter #4

TW: Depiction of painkilling herbs being eaten- aka one loopy-as-hell cat.

Realizations - Narinder

Narinder is not a poet. Not a writer, or a master of words.

So it is no surprise that Lamb's confession stunned him into silence.

"And I wanted you to care so much, but you didn't."

How is he supposed to care if he didn't fucking know? That's not fair of them to hold that against him. It's not fair for them to act like some heartbroken beau that he led on, and then tossed aside.

And then they had the audacity to leave before he could even find a way to respond.

He supposes a part of him is relieved they're not kneeling in front of him anymore while he's trying to sort through his thoughts.

They cared about him. What does that even mean? In the context of a god and a follower?

He thinks he knows exactly what Lamb means, but he'll be damned if he just assumes...

He tries to look back and pinpoint the moments that could give him some kind of hint, or insight into what they mean. Moments that he somehow missed the first time around.

But looking back, all of his memories feel hazy.

Like a terrible, violent fever dream of being so angry, in pain, waiting... Then the betrayal. Every time they try and think back on moments with the Lamb they are greeted by that moment.

When they refused to give the Red Crown back, and instead chose to raise their blade to him.

And every time he is reminded of that moment, he is filled with this cold, dead weight in his chest that he wants to call rage but he knows it's something different.

Hurt.

And hurt made him angry.

Why did it hurt so much? Because he let himself become fond of the wretched beast, he tells himself. He grew attached, even though he knew exactly how things were meant to end.

But they didn't end that way, did they? And now here he is. Alone.

Looking down at his bandages, he can still feel the cooling, refreshing sensation of the medical salve, easing the soreness of his wounds. It didn't help at all with the cramping in his muscles, or aching in his bones, causing the horrible shaking throughout his limbs.

But a feeling that trumps the cramping, or the cooling of the medicine are the traces... The traces of Lamb's touch linger all over his body. His arms, around his ankles, his back and torso. Everywhere he tries to focus his attention he feels them.

Such light, careful care, embedded all over him deeper than the injuries left by his chains.

It had made him forget how angry he was, and say things he shouldn't have... Feel things he shouldn't have.

Things like that horrible fondness, that make him want to hear Lamb's laughter again. That makes him want to hold them in his hand, and hope that they're bold enough to duck under his veil again so he can see them better...

They were so close to him, and when they pulled away, he grabbed them. Not wanting to lose the feeling. The momentary peace that being so close to someone after so long brings. Even if that person is them. The one who...

Who makes him so hurt and so angry every time he thinks about them. About what they did, or what they're doing now. Being so kind, and so damn sincere that he wants to believe them, but he can't.

He can't trust them, he or be fond of them, and he certainly can't care about them, because they took everything from him. His power. His divinity. His dignity.

The only thing they left him with is his life, and he's still 50/50 on whether that's worse.

His torso has yet to be bandaged. The lamb left so quickly, that he can only assume they are going to get this 'Miki' person to do the stitches and finish wrapping him up.

He doubts it will be the last time he sees Lamb while he's... 'Unwell' like this. So he needs to figure out what to say when they do come face to face again.

Does he need to say something? Does he want to say something? Should he confront them about the unfairness of this situation? Or just let it go and pretend it never happened?

Narinder has already come to terms with the fact that he's stuck accepting their help and afterward being stuck as a mere follower- he'll be damned before he has to do any pathetic chores or menial tasks though.

Now, though... He's conflicted. He had planned to ignore Lamb after he was healed and didn't need their assistance anymore... But he wants answers. He wants to know what Lamb means when they say they care, and why their admission confuses him so much.

Makes him want to clarify things.

Tell them that he might not have... Cared in the same way he thinks they mean, but that he had... Preferred them to... Past vessels?

Fates, he feels like a fool.

If he wasn't in so much pain, he'd throw himself back onto the bed and bury his head under the pillows to try and block out all these thoughts and feelings.

"Um... Hello? Narinder, sir? May I come in?"

He's still leaning over the bed, glaring daggers at the empty ground where Lamb had been when the clear-toned voice interrupts his inner conflict.

"Come in." He sighs, and the fennec fox's head pops through the curtains, looking around before stepping inside.

The light from outside has turned a deep orange and pinkish tone. The sun is setting.

She's holding a small wooden box of well-organized metal tools and supplies, and she strides up to him, holding her silence, and focused gaze as kneels behind him, and examines his back.

Narinder wants to whirl around and hiss at her to back the fuck up, but he doesn't have the physical energy or pain tolerance to do so.

"I'm guessing you're Miki?" He sighs, giving up on doing anything but sitting down and just dealing with whatever he's handed.

"Yes. I take care of most medical-related issues around camp. The Lamb was right, these do need stitches, a lot. I imagine it's just as bad in the front. Are these scars anything to worry about?" She points at the two identical scars running just below his pecs, and he shakes his head.

"No. I've had those since before all this. Top surgery scars, I don't think any of you followers know what that is..." He sighs, and she shrugs.

"We have top surgery, it's just not as... Safe. As it could be. I'm working on making it safer. We can talk more about it later because I do have questions regarding where your surgery was done and by whom, but for now..." She pauses to meet his gaze and holds up the curved needle in her hand.

"This is going to take a while so settle in and lay down on your stomach. I can offer you some herbs to numb the pain, but they'll make you very tired, and kind of loopy. It's up to you if you want them though." She steps back to give him space to move.

Lamb clearly didn't tell her that he can't move very well without help, and he isn't about to admit it.

So he settles for trying to force his body to move through the pain.

His back is the worst of it, digging a deep growl out of his throat as he tries to twist himself around, onto the bed on his stomach, without moving the blanket off of him and giving the poor follower an eyeful.

"Do you need assistance? I understand that you can't move very well, but I wanted to see it for myself to analyze. Can you describe the kind of pain you are experiencing?" Ah, so she does know.

"It's a cramping. So bad that I can't stop shaking, or get my limbs to do what I want. My back and legs are the worst." He explains as she places a slightly too firm grasp on his shoulders and mildly manhandles him to lay on his back.

Giving her a full view of his injuries.

"Hmm. I have dealt with a few similar cases in people who haven't moved for long periods, usually only a few months, but years... Well, I'll tell you now, it's not an easy fix. Do you want the herbs? They won't take effect immediately, but it will make everything less painful, stitches and cramping. They'll also probably put you to sleep for the rest of the night." She talks slightly faster and far more monotone than he expected for someone who follows Lamb.

Something about the lack of emotion in her voice creates a professional air in the whole shelter. An air that makes him feel far safer than he's felt in his entire time being here.

"I'll take them. How do I get rid of the cramping?" He asks as he hears her shuffling around the supplies.

She moves around and he turns his head to look at her as she holds out a small leaf-bound bundle, he swallows it quickly as the bitter taste nearly makes him gag.

"I don't want you to push yourself too much because of your outward injuries, but the only real way to help regain your strength and control over your limbs is to exercise and stretch them. Water therapy would be best, but submerging your stitches isn't an option." She explains, her hands poking and prodding at his back, pulling painfully at some of the deeper wounds.

Far less gentle than Lamb had been.

"Watch it." He hisses, in pain, and then lets his curiosity win. "And what's water therapy?"

"Swimming, essentially. A gentler alternative to normal physical therapy. Either way, you'll need someone to oversee it, myself ideally, but I can train the Lamb to aid you instead if you are not comfortable with my presence." He only hums in response.

His body doesn't hurt as much, and as she said, he's becoming drowsy. His eyelids are heavy, and the shaking in his arms is subsided. He hardly even feels the sharp piercing as it follows a horizontal path around his waist.

He's half asleep when it stops and moves up around his left shoulder blade. Then right. Then the same monotone voice asks him to turn over so she can 'evaluate the damage'.

He would think that the newfound lack of agony coursing through his bones would make it much easier. Instead, the fatigue pulls him down and makes his whole body turn to dead weight. She's talking again, and he peeks his eyes open but quickly decides that whatever it is, isn't as important as sleep.

So he closes them again.

~~~

"You've done well vessel. Soon enough, my chains will be broken, thanks to your ruthless efficiency." He's staring at them, as they sit in his hand, only a few inches from his face.

They're awfully silent this visit. Usually, they break into a ramble about the crusade they had just died during, or the way things around the cult are going. And Narinder would listen. Their voice is soothing. Easing the burning tension in his body the moment they arrive, and look up at him with that radiant smile, so overjoyed to see him again.

~~~

He opens his eyes when there are small hands- the fennec fox's hands trying to lift him to roll him over. He can't recall her name... Miku? Mimi? Something like that. She curses under her breath.

He tries to aid her in her weak attempts, even though his mind is hazy. But he must have done something right because now he's on his back, and the piercing is on his stomach now so he closes his eyes again.

 ~~~

He likes this one. This vessel. A small, innocent-looking Lamb, with all the fire and maliciousness of a thousand suns, scorching all who stand against them. Yet when they stand before him, they are soft-spoken. They laugh a lot, usually at something he does or says.

He doesn't know what's so funny, but the sound is like music, so he doesn't question it.

Others, like Ratau, were weak, but not just that, they were so... Boring. They didn't speak much, didn't respond well, and only ever bowed to him before being sent back to the overworld. 

~~~

When he opens his eyes again it's to the sound of Lamb's voice.

"Narinder, I'm just gonna help hold you up while Miki wraps the bandage around you- oof! Okay- this, uh, this works. I guess." Their laughter is nervous, hesitant, and not the carefree one he would much rather grace his ears.

He is leaning forward, his head resting against them. They don't smell like blood, or death like he expects now that they are the God of Death. No, they smell like they always have. Like wildflowers, and fresh air after rain.

They're warm, and he bunts his head against the side of their face, before burying it into their neck, shutting his eyes again.

~~~

"What troubles you, my vessel? You have not spoken, by now Aym and Baal are ready to kick you out themselves." He chuckles, as he looks down at the mentioned twins, who side-eye glance at each other and shrug in agreement to the statement.

His dear Lamb looks up with startled eyes, and he can't help but chuckle. They must not have realized how obvious they were being...

"Nothing! Really it's nothing, well, not nothing, nothing, just... I want to tell you something, but it's hard to... Word. And I don't think that right now is the best time..." They ramble now.

Perhaps he shouldn't have said anything...

~~~

He opens his eyes this time because Lamb laughs again. A good laugh at something the small fox said. Soft, but sincere, and he can feel it reverberate through their chest. He wraps his arms up and around them to pull him closer and they become stiff as a board.

He doesn't care though, as his hands rest at their waist, and a deep rumbling is sounding from somewhere... Is it coming from him? Is he purring? He hasn't purred in a long time, and it's hard to recognize the sound.

He shoves his face into his Lamb's soft wool as he closes his eyes for what's hopefully the final time...

~~~

"Silence, Lamb, you need not speak of it if you wish not to. I only wish to know, so that I might ease the worries off of your face. I much prefer your smile." He raises his other hand to lift his Lamb's chin carefully with the tip of his clawed pointer finger.

They smile as they meet his eyes, but it is still nervous, and unsure. They glance away from him, their eyes darting around the afterlife, refusing to meet his gaze.

"I... Appreciate that, but I think I'll save what's on my mind for later. How about after I've gotten you out of these chains? Deal?"  They now look a bit more energetic, as they jump up, and duck down, and before he has time to process it...

There they are. Underneath his veil, peering up into his blood-soaked eyes. Smiling, without a care in the world, as if what they've just done isn't enough to get them massacred by any other God in their right mind.

They lean against his nose, and he is suddenly hyper-aware of the fact that they smell like wildflowers and fresh air after rain. Such a refreshing... Lively scent. As if they aren't working for the God of Death, but rather frolicking fields with a God of Life.

They rest their arms on his snout and blink up at him, tilting their head ever so slightly in curiosity when he remains still in stunned silence.

They then laugh when he laughs, and he wants them to stay right there for as long as it might take for him to grow sick of their presence. But he's not sure when that might be. A century or two? Maybe three if they don't run out of things to talk about too quickly.

But alas. There are still Bishops to defeat, a cult to maintain, and chains to be broken.

Perhaps before he has them kneel to sacrifice themselves to him, he can ask them what it is they had planned on saying.

"Deal."

~~~

He wakes one final time when he's being carefully laid back onto the mattress and a soft voice is mumbling. His Lamb's voice.

Something about changing the bed sheets in the morning, and the current ones being bloodied.

"Lamb..." His voice is so quiet, it's a miracle he can even hear himself.

He has a tight hold on their fleece.

"Yes, Narinder?" Their voice is wobbly, and he tries to force his eyes open.

He wants to see them, but he's so tired.

"You planned to confess... After I was freed... How could I not see that you..." How could he not realize that they loved him?

Was he so oblivious? He could have read their mind at any time, but he didn't... He could have seen their feelings. He could have also seen their betrayal coming, but somehow, this is less important than their feelings.

"I... You're all loopy, Nari, go to sleep, and I'll bring you breakfast in the morning." They pry his hand off of their fleece, and he lets them, with a soft hum.

"Nari? I like that..." Nari. His siblings used to call him that when he was still very small, but stopped when he got older.

When he got the Red Crown.

"Hm. I'll call you it more often than if you promise not to try and kill me when you're less high." They stand up and pull one of the blankets up over him, and then they're walking away.

No. Stay.

Please stay.

His brain screams, but his mouth can't keep up, and the fog in his mind is so heavy and his limbs are so heavy and his heart is so heavy, and everything is just so damn heavy...

His heavy thoughts fill with thoughts of Lamb. His Lamb. Who smells like wildflowers and fresh air after rain. His Lamb. Who he was once so fond of, but now can't bring himself to feel such fondness without it reside beside pain. And anger. And distrust.

And they are in pain, angry, and distrustful too.

So how do either of them fix it?

~~~

When he wakes up he is alone, and his head is still hazy, and his body is in agony.

Stiff, and sore, his torso is immovable, a dull throbbing making him groan in pain. His arms and legs hurt just the same but aren't as bad as they were.

Maybe he's just too focused on his torso to care about the tremors as they start racking his arms again. Or, maybe it's the haunting realization of his own drug-induced actions last night that really keeps him frozen in his place, eyes wide, staring at the ceiling.

He didn't know he could be so... Touchy. When tired. But the smell of them is still swirling around in his mind, and it makes it hard to focus on anything else he did.

He doesn't remember all of it, not clearly anyway, from having been in and out of consciousness. But he remembers the moment Lamb arrived. When they laughed. When he leaned forward onto them. When he shoved his head into the wool on their neck. When he started purring so deeply he could feel it vibrating his whole body...

The room is cleared of all medical supplies, and the nightstand is cleaned off.

He's not exactly sure what time it is, or how long he's been asleep, but he knows, from the light slowly brightening around the edges of the window and doorway curtains that it's close to morning.

And that Lamb promised to bring him breakfast. So he needs to get his thoughts in order quickly.

He still needs to confront Lamb about their sudden admission to him. Then about that day... That distinct memory replaying in his mind helped him connect the dots even in his herb-induced state.

Lamb had wanted to confess to him after they freed him, and he...

Guilt is still a foreign emotion to him. He used to feel it in small amounts when he was a child and would get into spats with Leshy, or Heket and say something he didn't mean.

The worst time was during a thunderstorm that he had gotten caught in on his way back to the temple. He doesn't remember where he was returning from or when the first strike of thunder sent him running out of his own damn skin, but he does remember hiding.

Hiding, terrified in the small hollow of an old tree trunk. The mud soaking around his feet, and the bottom of his robe. When Shamura found him he was so afraid he hadn't wanted to get out from under the trunk, and when his older sibling reached in to grab him, he'd just... Lashed out.

His claws hooked on Shamura's forearm damn good, and he knew he drew blood when they tried to pull away and his claws yanked out of the skin it was caught on.

He felt the wave of guilt hit him harder than the fear and strike as quickly as the lightning of the storm around him.

And no matter how many times he apologized, or how many times Shamura tried to assure him it was alright, he was haunted by the feeling.

The guilt. That made his heart sink like lead in water every time he saw the paper-thin scars on Shamura's arm.

But all those times happened long ago before he was even given the Red Crown. Since then, this degree of guilt has snuck up on him twice. Both because of Lamb.

When he had snapped at them the other and they rushed out of the room on the verge of tears, and then now.

Feeling this overwhelming guilt because of this horrible realization that the entire time he had been waiting for the day they would sacrifice their life to him...

They were waiting to tell him that they were in love with him.

He wonders how they felt in that moment. The second he asked them to kneel, did they feel the same sinking dread in their chest that he felt when they chose not to?

Did they feel the same horrible dread when they marched to their death earlier that year, standing before his kin as they prepared to kill the final lamb?

If so then it truly confirms the thought that's been plaguing him for the last hour.

He's no better than them. Hell, he might be worse. At least they didn't trick any of the lambs they were slaughtering into trusting them. Or become selectively blind when said lamb fell in love with them.

Speaking of the new God of Death...

The moment that they knock on his door and step through the curtain with a soft, sad smile, and a warm breakfast in their hands he realizes something that makes all of his other realizations that much more horrid...

He never would have asked them to kneel, if he had known they loved him.

Maybe I even would have...

"Morning, Nari. I brought another mixed meal, everything is bland and seasonless, but there's a bit more variety. I'm also going to get started on those upgrades for your shelter. Nothing perfect, but function for now." They sit on the bed next to him, and he's glad to find that he can sit up a little easier on his own, without as much pain as before.

At least in his arms. His torso is irritated and sore as shit. Lamb moves to grip his arm and help him, and he bites his own tongue to stop from purring at the touch.

The herbs clearly haven't worn off completely just yet...

Looking them in the eye there are a million things he wants to say but what comes out isn't exactly what he's expecting.

"I'm sorry."

A simple two words as Lamb sits beside him to help him eat, just like they've done the day before. They freeze in place, staring at him with widened eyes, and he stares back.

As stunned as he is, he's surprised to find that he doesn't regret the words.

He's not sure that his own anger has subsided. Hell, looking at them now, glancing at the Red Crown on their head that was once his... He can still feel the flickering flames of frustration, and the much stronger flame of humiliation and embarrassment.

But neither are as strong as they once were. The raging wildfire has died down, turning to something more... Tired.

He just wants all this pain to stop, and to be able to move freely again.

He wants to be free.

It's all he thinks he wants anymore. Before the desire for freedom lived closely beside his desperation for revenge.

To destroy the other Bishops. His family. Make them pay for locking him up in the first place.

At some point... Maybe after the thousand-year mark, or maybe two thousand years, freedom became his main priority.

Revenge became an... Added bonus.

And now? It's all he's been thinking about- thoughts of Lamb not counting.

Wanting so desperately for the pain to subside so that he can once again see the world outside of this shelter.

And all the anger still buried inside is just a footnote in comparison to that desire.

So when he looks into the Lamb's eyes and sees their confusion, he doesn't have it in him to take the words back or snap at them.

He can't forgive them, at least not now. Perhaps not ever. But he knows he's tired of being mad. Tired of lashing out every time they reach out to help, and then feeling guilty an instant later.

And he is Sorry.

Sorry that he didn't know. Sorry that he never gave them a chance to tell him. Sorry, that...

In the end, he really wasn't any better than his siblings. Maybe he still isn't. He's not sure anymore.

What he is sure of, is that even if he's still angry, they have a right to be angry too, and yet...

They're helping him anyway. Caring for his wounds, feeding him, helping him move, and upgrading his shelter so he doesn't have to leave if he doesn't want to, and can just spend the rest of his immortal life locked indoors...

And all he's doing is complaining, snapping at them, and making them cry.

Even his shitty siblings, if they were here, would agree that that's not fair.

"You're... Sorry?" They repeat, head tilting, unsure, and stiff as a board.

"Yeah." He wants to lean forward towards them again but resists, grabbing the blankets below him just to keep himself anchored in place.

"I'm still angry at you. So... So angry. I hate that you spared me. I hate how pathetic, weak, and humiliated I feel. I hate that you're the one that's made me feel this way... But I... I recognize that you're angry too and that what I did was not... I shouldn't have... Fuck, I don't know..." He sighs, lifting a hand to drag down his face, and pausing to think of his next words carefully.

At this point he's glaring down at his remaining hand as his claws dig into the blanket, refusing to look back up at Lamb.

"I don't know that I regret what I did, but I regret that I hurt you when I did it. I regret that I didn't know because if I did... I'm not sure things would have played out the way they did. But we can't change that now, so I'm sorry. Sorry, that I was, and that I have been, ignorant." He finishes his botched apology.

It's not elegant. Not exactly what he wants to say either, but it will have to do, because now his head hurts.

He just wants them to respond already, but glancing up, the deep frown and contemplating look on their face tells him their gonna need a minute.

A long. Long minute.

"You're wrong..." They breathe, the words a whisper in the silent room.

His eyes dart to theirs, but they carefully avoid his questioning gaze.

"Do you remember much of last night? When you were talking to me before I left?" They ask, setting the bowl on the bed beside them, and bringing their hands into their lap, twiddling their thumbs.

I remember I didn't want you to leave...

"I remembered the day you ducked under my veil. The action distracted me from the conversation, but I remembered it last night. That day... You were planning to tell me that you... Cared." He doesn't dare say the real word. Not out loud. "Weren't you?"

"I was. I had this silly idea that... That after you were freed, I would confess, and you would accept, and I would show you the camp and everything I've built for... For you. And that maybe we could... I don't know. It's stupid, thinking about it now." They stand up and move around the bed towards the window.

Still avoiding his eyes, as they follow their movements with far too much interest.

Lifting a hand, with a single finger he cracks open the curtain just slightly, letting the morning light peek inside, as they look out.

"But then... Everything happened... You were right when you called me weak. When you were defeated, and I had the choice to spare or kill you, I was weak. I couldn't bring myself to do it, because a part of me still hoped that if I spared you, you would..." They let out a shaky sigh, and finally turn to look at him.

A pleading look in their eyes, begging him to understand so they wouldn't have to say it out loud.

"Oh." A dim response. But what the hell else could he say?

"Yeah. Oh." They give a dry laugh, and move back, sitting on the edge of the bed, before sliding down onto the floor.

They rest their hands over their eyes.

"But you're wrong about me being angry at you. I'm angry at myself, and every time I look at you I'm just... Miserable. Sad that nothing happened the way I wanted it to, and now here we are. You're wounded and in pain, and I'm so conflicted and confused about this." They motion up to the Red Crown.

"I mean, I'm a god now. I never planned on that! I've been leading this cult with the expectation that you'd take over once I freed you, but instead, I'm going to be their leader for who knows how long! And I can't even get half of them to stop wanting to eat their own shit!" Their voice rises the more they rant, and he snorts at the last part.

"Yeah, well, followers aren't as smart as they used to be. Back when The Old Faith was at its best, Shamura had a strong school system in place, and Kallamar was an expert in medicine and hygiene, sharing his knowledge with his most devout so that they could spread the word of what is and isn't good for you. Such as eating shit." He comments, a small smile gracing his face.

"But that was... A long time ago. Since my imprisonment, the Bishop's wounds, and the genocide of the lambs, everything has deteriorated. Now those who remain are just trying to survive. No shepherd to guide them." Another realization, he notes as he speaks.

"You are the only god remaining now, Lamb. The only one that can create so much as a semblance of society, so that they no longer have to struggle. So that they can actually enjoy life before their bodies wither, and they have to surrender their souls to you. The new God of Death." He sits up and tosses his mildly aching legs over the side of the bed.

Moving as slow as he can for his torso's sake, and relying solely on what little arm strength he has, and a bit on gravity, he pushes himself down onto the floor. Next to Lamb. The blanket is dragged down with him.

"Well, that really makes me feel better." They grumble, looking at him and his tail involuntarily brushes against their arm, an attempt at comfort.

"I'm not trying to make you feel better-" Liar. "Just telling the truth."

"... I've been leading them long enough to know what I need to do, I just don't know how. Some of my more valued followers like Noon, and Miki are trying to help, but neither of them knows much about the divine aspect of it, like shepherding souls, maintaining the afterlife, etc..." They lift a hand up, grabbing the crown of their head and bringing it down in front of them to examine.

"I do." He blurts, not fully thinking about how much it sounds like an offer.

They too jump, head darting to look at him.

"You'll help me?" They ask, disbelief heavy in their voice.

"Maybe. If your cult doesn't fall apart before I can breathe without pain, then maybe- and that's a very strong maybe. I'll consider giving you some pointers on how to be a proper God of Death. A way to earn your forgiveness, since I doubt my words mean much to you." He subconsciously moves his tail again, brushing it along the side of their face.

When he sees it, he quickly grabs the offending part and pins it to the ground. He's grateful when Lamb chooses not to mention it, only glancing at the now pinned tail with a soft giggle.

A giggle that makes his fur stand on end in a fluttering feeling he can't even begin to identify.

Embarrassment. That's what he's going to call it. Embarrassment.

"They do mean something, Narinder... I know it took a lot for you to say them, so thank you, for apologizing..." Their smile drops, and they turn their gaze away.

"But?" He can feel it coming from a mile away.

"But I think it's going to take a lot more to fix things than an apology. I'm still not even confident that when you get better you won't just try to attack me and get the crown back then..." They're right to be paranoid about that.

He's thought about it. A lot.

Is still kind of thinking about it.

"Right. Well, I don't plan on doing that right now, we'll see about later though." He can't help but smirk at the small glare they send his way.

"I guess I can live with that. And for the record, I'm sorry too. Not for choosing not to die, but that you feel weak and humiliated because of me. But you should know, Narinder, that you are not pathetic. You're strong, and I beat you by a hair, and now, here you are, dealing with a pain that no normal mortal alive could tolerate... You're..." They pause, meeting his eyes for a long moment.

There's something there. Something akin to adoration- much like the kind they used to wear on their face when they looked up at him when he was a god.

It makes his fur stand on end again in embarrassment.

Embarrassment that's all it is.

He has to break eye contact, turning to look at the window, and flinching when light hits his eyes. The small opening Lamb made earlier still bleeding light into the room.

They notice his flinch.

"Oh, right, your eyes. Sorry." They stand up, quickly, moving a single step forward to close the curtain properly.

"It's fine." He hadn't even realized how close they'd been. It was just so natural. Being so close to them...

It felt strangely right.

Now though, with the distance between them, the spell is broken. Even they seem to realize it.

"Right well, I do have a lot to do today so... Why don't I switch your bedsheets, get you back in bed, get you fed, and then work on those shelter upgrades, hmm?" There is a newfound pep in their step.

And in a second they're bouncing across the room with an energy that does not match the conversation they've been having for the last half-an-hour.

A mask. One that they put on so easily it's almost frightening.

But he doesn't complain. He's gone through enough emotions to last him a week, and right now, he just wants to eat and go back to sleep.

Of course, Lamb isn't going to make it that easy.

"Sooo, about last night, was it the herbs that made you all cuddly or am I just that adorable?" They look back at him with a teasing smile that could light up the darkest of nights.

"Shut the fuck up-!!"

~~~

Fun fact: Miki is based on one of my favorite followers from my first-ever game, a game that my little cousin ended up deleting when I let him play on my Switch. That's the real betrayal here. I still haven't forgiven that 11-year-old punk.

I'm thinking about making an 'introduction to the featured and background OC's post.' What do y'all think?

Cult of the Lamb: Redemption - Chapter #3 Preview

(Thoughts, opinions, & critiques are welcomed! Be nice!)

Patience - Lamb

Words hurt.

The Lamb knew this. They've seen the way words cut.

The way they stun people, leave them speechless, and then send the world crashing down on them in one swift, and lethal blow.

But they've never felt it themselves until now.

They never wanted things to turn out like this. They never asked for this... They just wanted to live. To be happy. To be free.

But now?

They have the weight of everything they've built on their shoulders. They want to keep their cult safe. Their followers, and friends- dare they say, family.

They want to keep them happy, and well.

So when The One Who- Narinder... When he demanded they...

After everything they've been through, with the scar on their neck proof of their first execution, he demanded that they go through it again? And Lamb so foolishly...

Perhaps they were naive from the start to have trusted him. To have thought that in comparison to the other gods of the land that had ordered the genocide of his kind... He was... Better.

Naive to think that Narinder was different. A good god, locked away by the evil ones, and that they were some kind of shining lamb knight, meant to free him, and restore peace... It was such a childish idea.

Narinder had been no better than the Bishops. Just desperate for power, no matter how much blood was spilled to get it.

They had thought that maybe in the end, if they had spared him, he would...

They feel so stupid.

Standing outside of Narinder's shelter, back against the wall, and hand over their slammed-shut eyes, trying to stop the tears.

The former god of death would never change. He is still just so angry.

~~~

"Be patient, Lamb. He's spent so long festering in his rage, and it is going to take a long time for him to learn how to live a life without it." Ratau pat their shoulder after a long game of knucklebones that they ultimately lost.

They have spent more than half of it complaining about the feline ex-god and the hell he had given them over simply eating.

"I'm trying, but it's me! He hates me! He's never going to understand why I did what I did or that I... That I actually do care about..." Him.

That they care about him.

He had been their savior. Giving them a second chance, and a third, and fourth, and fifth. Every time they died during a crusade, he was there. To greet them, and bring them back.

Sometimes they would talk. Narinder would listen to them, give advice, laugh at their jokes...

They thought he cared... They had certainly cared. They cared so, so much.

The One Who Waits was one of the only beings who truly understood what they were going through. He had been kind to them...

~~~

It was all a facade though. They see that now. Or, hell, perhaps they had just been delusional. Perhaps it was always just a one-sided illusion, them thinking the world of someone who truly hadn't cared at all.

Perhaps they shouldn't have spared him.

Saved them both the agony they're in now...

~~~

This chapter is definitely a longer one guys, so I hope you enjoy this preview! Expect angst, mixed emotions, and a heart-wrenching confession. The full chapter will be posted tomorrow on Ao3 at noon and here on Tumblr at 8:30ish pm. Hope to see you then folks.

i have a very special adoration for the lamb and Narinder being drawn more realistically. hairless cat narinder my beloved.... Currently still testing how I wanna draw them so y'know. prepare for inconsistency.

It's over...

"I don't know exactly what was going through your head at that moment. But, Narinder, I accept your end…"

"An end that didn't come as he expected…" . . .

Extra:

Lamb & Narinder ~

The completed collection of my first COTL fanart series, but it didn't stop here and I still love them all so much and this game <3

my mutual over on twitter gave me an idea of The One Who Waits having the voice of the lich from adventure time, so i found some dialogue i saw fitting for cotl and made this lol

Forgive me, lord, for I have sinned

Drew widgets for my phone

Going back to my roots w this one

Cult of the lamb romantic garbage I barfed up <3

Immortality had its gripes.

The One Who Waits thought that every day he spent in this dreaded cult. It was designed to be his. It was cultivated and shaped in his image, and now he didn’t even have the capitals of his pronouns anymore. He was stripped of his status, his power, everything but his name.

And now, he was married to the lamb who took it all away from him.

The stares of the other cult members bore into him when the lamb gleefully pointed at him for the marriage ceremony. He knew saying no would mean certain death, and death was something he had evaded for as long as he could.

So, he gave in.

He spent days in the cult farming and chopping wood, worshiping at the altar, doing anything that dreaded lamb asked. This was almost worse than being chained in the depths of wherever he was before. It had been so long, he’d forgotten.

Followers around him grew old, died, were replaced with new followers by morning. A cycle he had wished to run, to destroy, to start anew again on his own terms. Without that wretched lamb.

Over time, he guessed, the lamb grew on him.

Daily kisses went from eyerolls to reciprocation. Chats and dances with the lamb became more enthusiastic as he grew into his role. This life was simple, but god it had its perks.

He began to look forward to his daily interactions with the lamb. And hey, if there was a bloodcurdling scream or two in the night, he didn’t breathe a word of it to his fellow cult members.

It was a leader thing, he supposed. It needed to be done, and he understood that better than any of these mortals.

So, The One Who Waits settled into his new life. Almost a century passed in it, with him tending to the farms and saying hello to that god forsaken line of frogs every morning.

It wasn’t until the ninety-fourth year that he noticed something was amiss. His third eye caught a stain of something on the robe of his beloved leader.

Now, bloodstains on the lamb? That was normal. Expected, even. With the murdering of the elders in the night to the frequent outings to the lands of the old faith, red stains often adorned the lamb. But this one in particular caught his eye.

It was black.

No other follower would have noticed such an occurrence, and if they did, they wouldn’t know the significance of it. But The One Who Waits, having worn the dark crown, knew.

The one who wore the crown bled black ichor, the blood of the gods. And the lamb had stopped taking hits around forty years ago.

So either there was a new threat out there, or the lamb was growing weaker.

Sadistic joy filled his veins, and he knew all he had to do was wait until the sun went down.

~*~

As the sun disappeared over the horizon, The One Who Waits crept out of bed and wove through the houses of the other members. He spotted the lamb, out sitting near the farm. Silently, he crept closer, trying to assess the situation before deciding what move to make next.

He heard raspy breaths as he drew close. The lamb’s hands were gripping the ground, black blood staining the grass and sinking into the dirt below from where it dripped at their side. Their cloak was stained even more now, and as the liquid seeped into the fabric he caught little wisps of gold sparking out of it.

The lamb was weak. Now was his chance.

He crept closer, stance low and ready to take back his crown. This was his only shot, and by god he was going to get it.

“Narinder.”

He froze.

The lamb hardly spoke, opting for nonverbal communication with that absolutely smarmy smile of theirs. Their voice, however rare it was to hear, never betrayed how they were feeling in the past. It was always just on the edge of questioning and conceited. But now, as he heard their deep baritone voice sound more brittle than it ever had before, he knew he was caught.

“...Yes, my lamb?”

The lamb stood, turned. The unreadable expression on their face was enough to send ice through his veins. He stared into their red tinged eyes, unblinking, sideways pupils shaped into slits as they looked down at him.

He finally managed to tear his gaze away, staring at the ground in front of him as he began to bow in the grass.

“Apologies, I didn’t-”

The lamb’s hand beckoned him, and he stopped in the middle of his apology to look up at them. They gestured again, this time for him to sit next to them in the grass. He sat hesitantly.

He dared not speak.

They extended an ichor-soaked hand to him, allowing him to take it. They guided it to their injured side, staring in his eyes the entire time. He felt exposed, like they were picking his brain apart from just staring into his pupils. On instinct, he felt his third eye close.

When his hand made contact with their side, the lamb hissed, eyes going completely red as they broke eye contact. They quickly regained their composure, however, and resumed staring at him.

They kept still, waiting.

Experimentally, he lightly dug one finger in.

Their eye twitched, but they made no move to stop him.

He dug another, harder this time.

Their entire face scrunched up and they leaned forward, resting their forehead against his chest. Their hands gripped his forearms and yet they didn’t pull his hands away. They just…waited.

The One Who Waits felt a twinge in his chest. The crown was in front of him, staring at him with its piercing eye. Almost like a challenge. He had the lamb at his mercy, after all of these years. He was so close, he could just pick the crown off their fuzzy little head. He had his hand in their flesh, gripping it so hard that they crumbled under his hold. It was a power rush, so intense and overwhelming that his third eye opened back up and he reached his other hand for the crown.

But he couldn’t.

He was touching the crown, and still it stared. Still it bore its single eye into his soul, daring him to take it. Daring him to rip it away from the god that sat trembling against him.

And he couldn’t do it.

His mind kept replaying the past near-century in his head, flashing through every moment they shared together. Of his defeat, his utter humiliation and greatest shame. Of them showing him mercy, extending their hand to him and him slapping it away and trying to make a swipe at them again. Of the first month he was here, freshly wed and full of hate.

Of their renewal of vows ceremony.

Of the time many years into their relationship that they swore off all mortals, opting to make a special place in the cult for just the two of them.

Of the many nights they spent together in that place.

The handmade meals.

The daily kisses.

The way they held each other in their arms late into the night, even though the lamb had never a need for sleep.

He looked down at them, at the way they gripped his shirt, at the way their breath seemed almost silent if it weren’t for the occasional wheezing gasps.

He brought his hands away from them. He couldn’t do it.

He hated to admit it but this sight was painful for him.

He hated to admit that he actually cared about them on a level he had never cared for anything before.

And sitting here, seeing them in the most amount of pain he had ever seen them in, he felt sick.

The crown looked at him once more before it let out a sigh, closing its eye.

The One Who Waits sat there, in the dead of night, and relinquished the last of his former self.

He stripped himself of his title as he scooped up the trembling lamb, carrying them back to their shared hut.

And if in the morning any of his fellow members noticed that the sign outside their hut read “The Lamb and Narinder,” well, they didn’t say a word.

While I Am New To The Fandom, There Is Something I’ve Noticed;

The Bishops Are Idiots.

Think About What They Did For A Moment:

They Committed Mass Genocide, Killing Every Single Lamb, Until MC Is Left.

Idiots. The Lot Of Them! Like- Why Would You Do That??? Logically Speaking.

I Know It’s Explained. But Even THAT Is Stupid!

“Kill Them To Prevent The Prophecy From Happening”

If Anything, Your Making It Happen Faster! You Fucking Morons!

If You Hadn’t Done That, The Lambs Wouldn’t Have Known! The Lambs Wouldn’t Have A Reason To Fulfill It, The Lambs Would’ve Just LIVED THEIR LIVES.

If Anything It Would’ve Taken Longer For Narinder To Be Released!

Just- Wha..?

What Was The Thought Process Here?

“Let’s Kill Every Single Lamb, Speeding Up The Prophecy, And Bringing Us Closer To Deaths Door!”

And Did They Seriously Think Narinder Would Just Sit By, Let The LAST LAMB Permanently Die??

His Ticket Out. Just- What The Hell..?

   COME ALL, COME SEE. Another chapter of this ol fic brought to you by yours truly.

   Alright, I don't wanna give any spoilers this time, so I shall make this as vague as I can. In this chapter we finally get to go back home and see that someone has done some spring cleaning I guess you can call it, and it has led to some unfortunate consequences. Also we get to meet up with an old 'friend' we haven't seen for some time, I hope you all enjoy his company just as much as a certain cat has (:

Heyyyyy, another chapter. we are at 18th now, it is not really a special number nor does it have some odd significance to me but I felt like pointing it out.

Anyhow, I hope you all enjoy another chapter on the adventures of the camellia trio (Yes thats what I will call them) as they go into a place they really shouldn’t

Having Fluffffffffy wool is a perfectly adequate reason for being chosen as a vessel.

there are two kinds of cult of the lamb fanart, probablycanon!cotl and fluffy!cotl. there is no in-between. look at this baby, honestly take a look at fluffy!lambert and tell me that you wouldn't (platonically) plant a kiss on his forehead.

also, yes, I know, I committed the cardinal sin of sticking down text bubbles, but I was running out of time to draw yesterday and I haven't posted anything in a really long time.

also, have an extra no text version!

Frustration station

frustration area for kittens 😾😾😾

Alright, short chapter this time. I would have normally added this to a longer chapter but I felt like it just wouldn’t have fit in with a normal chapter.

It is just waaaaay too odd and would most likely stand out. Anyhow, we are back to angst you all HURRAY 

Alright all, another chaptttter. This one we are getting more :sparkle: Comfort :sparkle: -kind of anyway. It still has some moments that are a bit on the hurt side of things.

And I will probably go back to hurt soon. So bring your favorite slippers, get some tea and enjoy this brief moment of respite everyone, cause we are going right back into the rabbit hole after a chapter or two after this... probably

Froglet

Hey People, firstly sorry for the delay. As you might have heard, my country (Turkey) ain't doing so hot at the moment. Between the storms and more importantly the earthquake it has been a little hard here. luckily we weren't hit by the earthquake where I live, but we got our fair share of unpleasantness from the storm. Anyway other than that there is not much I want to say, I hope you all enjoy this one. More regular uploads will continue when I can manage. Trying work without a stable internet and cold fingers is kind of hard sadly and there is only so much a candle can heat up.

She drummed her fingers against the arm of her throne. Each tap trying to rise above the cacophony that has overtaken her temple. Each tap trying and failing to silence the clattering steel and shouts of warriors getting ready for what was to come. Tap, tap, tap, tap her four fingers went with her thumb pushing against the side of the throne, digging into the wood. She was calm, really she was. She was so calm indeed that she was barely even thinking of what was to come, it was simply off from her mind as she calmly waited… and waited… waited. Her eyes were closed, all four shut against the world and the temple she called her own. To the cut stone beneath her throne to the rustic walls that kept her cult sheltered. To the ones she used to call her patrons, now divisions and warriors that were meant to march. Really calm, really, truly calm… No, she wasn’t. She was not calm, not in the slightest. She couldn’t do this to herself. She was many things, a Goddess, a Bishop of the old faith, a sister and not a liar. Besides, she was not really someone to believe in her own lies. Though was she? Was she really not a liar? Even in that sentence there were lies if not some half truths at least. It was true she was a Goddess, Lady of Famine, the one over the domain of sate and hunger in their dance that only ended with the release of death. Then again, if she were the Lady famine then why were her patrons armed in weapons instead of scythes and buckets? Why were they getting ready for what was to come, instead of fasting in their homes? She knew the answer, but really it was better that she kept the answer away from herself. It was also true that she was a bishop of the old faith, she was the new right hand of Shamura, the first one to establish the faith. Then again, was she really? She did not really feel like she was a bishop as much as a commander for her armies now or some odd figurehead at times. She was not really preaching the perseverance that came with the abstinence of what was most vital to life and the release and euphoria that came with the feast. The dance of gorge and the fast. No, these days she was preaching the righteousness of what was to come. Of how one can only find themselves true in war and not by the release of a hot meal after a long day of work toiling in one's lot. It was true, she was a sister. Sister to Leshy, the fifth in the roster of the old faith. God of Chaos that stood over the realms of green and brown. The one that has been with them the least. The hardest to contain amongst the old faith. The one that had brought nothing but a headache to her since his lowly beginnings as a mewling worm. From the days he saw fit to set ablaze her temple in his many ‘pranks’ to his inability to listen to her heeds and warnings. Choosing to ignore where she tried to reason, to use his domain against the criticism he needed to improve. A child she could never see sitting on a throne. Sister to Kalamar, The fourth to come to their coven of Gods. God of Pestilence that stood over the blue and yellow. The one that had done nothing but cower behind her, never setting right where he erred. The one that threw the blame when her honest words came too much. The leach that took all love and gave but disloyalty, a snake she had to trust in what was to come. A coward she never wanted to see ruling. Sister to Shamura, her oldest sibling who was the leader of their quartet. The one that has given her the weapons and arms to wage the war they assured her was necessary. The sibling that has taken the honest work of her patrons in her tavern and has transformed them all to warrior kin only they could assemble. The one that has only taken when her dance was of gift and forfeit. A dance she came to break with their steel and bronze where once there was only wood and clay. A mad tyrant with a vision that may as well have been for their ruin rather than salvation. She was lastly, the sister to Narinder. The second to come in the pantheon of the old faith. The one she was to meet soon, in what was to come. The pompous prick that dared to defile the word of the old faith, dare go against Shamura’s wishes, dared to take his lot away… dared to leave her alone, dare to leave her in charge where he was meant to stay and lead with Shamura, dare to push this responsibility to her. The one that caused all of this… did he though? The traitorous thought snaked its way into her mind. Did he truly cause this all? No, well yes but… half truth she supposed, it could only be called that. He was the one that left, the one that took his followers with him away from them. Into lands they were to march in what's to come. He was the one that made his temple there, on the misty mountains where white met against white with the snow and clouds. A temple he built of marble and stone of the unforgiving silver mountains where his realm was closest to. But, she knew he didn’t want to. She knew he didn’t mean to defile a faith he helped to create in its infancy, if it hadn’t forgotten his name. He was the one that went against the creator of the old faith, their eldest sibling, Master of War, Shamura. To fight against their gospel when it stopped suiting him instead of accepting them as law as must all in the lands of the old faith, be they mortal or God. But she knew. She knew he wouldn’t have went against Shamura’s wishes if they weren’t so unreasonable as to demand him to reduce his own cult to nothing. To waste his days away from them in solitude. Though she supposed, that part did come to be eventually. He was the one that took what was left of his lot away. The pitiful bunch that stuck with him even after what had happened… She knew they had no other choice as much as he. He was the one to leave her alone. To fend for herself in this complicated dance of politics she was thrusted into from her humble patrons and tavern, to the halls of the spider. To the insolent and egotistical court of lies. To make her a moth to the webs of affairs and intrigue, she had to learn from. She knew a lot, but she still didn’t know how he could have done such a thing when he was the one that embraced her for the first time when she was but a tadpole, swimming in the unknown depths of her soon to be realm. Again came the taps; tap, tap, tap, tap as she remembered the faithful day. She was alone on those days. So long ago she could barely remember the way stars have shone when she came crashing down from the heavens above. Alone and with no purpose, wading through the swamps of her now land. She was fierce, she was strong, she was the second inevitability of the world. Hunger. She hunted as she jumped from pond to pond, letting her hunger guide her in the murky waters. Alas, she was not the strongest nor the fiercest for she met one mightier. A dark God she could best in but a moment now, but back then a foe she withered against. However, even with the odds against her, she did not meet death that day. At least not in the way she thought she would while struggling in the dark God’s grasp. A slice and a broken body in the pond where she thought she would see the last of the stars. Finding herself in the arms of the cat clad in black black with three kind eyes and a mouth full of gentle but sharp teeth. She met him then, God of Death, her second eldest. The one they would slaughter soon.   Her eyes opened, slowly as she drummed her fingers faster and faster. Tap, tap, tap, tap they went as she accepted the truth, she was a liar. A true liar. Truth was, she was none of those things. She failed in all of those or at least she was about to. With  the blood of her brother spilled over the marble of his temple, her fate would forever be sealed as a liar. In those misty towering behemoths of white would he be waiting, for what was to come. So what was to come, came. Here she was, waiting for her fate just as much as the cat clad in white with three eyes and a not so kind sharp teeth had. Tap, tap, tap, tap came the noise out her axe as her claws met the handle. She waited, she waited for something she knew was not going to happen. She waited for him to give up, to let them take him back, to let them exact punishment against him and his ilk. A miracle. But she knew, he would never give up. He would fight, now and always as he had all those faithful years ago against the Dark God. With vain hope she looked around, to see her own ilk. All discarded like toy soldiers, strewn about like mere dolls. Their sorrowful faces drowned amidst the warriors of Shamura with their proud eyes. Another thing she was to blame him for, but she knew she couldn’t. From seeing her ilk to seeing her kin. She saw Kalmar first, terrified as ever. He wore a face of nervousness, his ears hung low as his eyes peered around as if he looked all as an enemy to fear. His followers did not share their master’s fear however, all brave faces. Not proud, but brave. All holding their heads high even if their very Lord couldn’t. She held off her sneer as she looked to see Leshy. Bored eyes met hers, he looked all around lazily like it was just a game. Just some sightseeing tour he was barely paying attention to as he twirled his hammer. Unmoved by the soulless eyes that gazed back at him from the ground. His own followers now gone and dust, looking at them with emotions even she didn’t know. She held her tongue as she gazed once more which landed on them, the one that brought them here, Master of War that looked sorrowful where they were to be in delight. The crest of their brow low, hiding all that was going on behind that old decrepit mind of theirs. Looking straight at the one they came to slaughter with eyes that spoke of only regret. She felt the blood in her veins boil as her fingers went TAP, TAP, TAP, TAP. She held her venom as she looked to see him. He held himself high, ears following afoot. His brow high and eyes that shone with purpose and commitment. There wasn’t much left of his followers, but they held the same look as their master even in the end, and most likely beyond. Waiting for him to join them in his rightful domain. ‘So he is the whom I am to slaughter, one that stayed one with his ilk when the rest of his kin had not’ she thought. One that looked not apart from the bodies that once fought against the invader in his name. Shame, she thought. Shame to the ones on the ground, the ones who are about to meet it and to the rest who are still above it. So it began, after a couple of pretty words uttered by their sibling. First tap, she swung first and true. If she was to be damned, it was to be done with grace to match the one that dodged her attack. He fought with elegance she had only seen from their eldest, one that had not fought for long years even before this. He would vault over the haphazard attacks of Leshy that at times felt like they were meant for her. Just as he would vault he would dodge the opportunistic attacks of Kalamar in the same breath. He would complete the dance with a counter to her own attack that would have hit if he had waited but a moment more. Second tap, she changed tactics. Now she would try to push him instead of hitting him, trying to force him into the attacks of Leshy who lacked the cohesion to understand her idea or just didn’t care. Just as she would push him off Kalamar would be there to give him back the space she so hardly fought to take. Running and dodging where he was meant to stay and deliver. After the third tap of the scythe against the axe she realized she was not just outmatched but she was also very much alone. It didn’t matter what she did, what tactic she implored. All it did was to give her a fool's hope that would be dashed into pieces when put into practice. Her tactics were like the speeches she delivered in court, ignored without the input of their sibling who still hadn’t joined them. Before the fourth tap she saw her brother, this time fully. His brother stood above the three, like the dark God that was to take her to his realm from all those years ago. For one terrible moment she realized, she was going to die. Maybe not a liar like she thought but dead nonetheless for his brother was death, the killer of Gods fore and now. At the fifth tap that she sounded with the drop of her knee she could see. She saw the still figure of Shamura who watched the slaughter. She saw the sibling that brought them here, to the place where his kind brother became the nightmare from her long lost nightmares. The one that watched with pity as they were cut down. The one that still looked from above as their brother breathed death against them. She saw her enemy. She saw the real traitor. There was no sixth tap, it was more of a clang that reverbated across the halls of the temple. The clang that came to be by her axe which saw the claw of Shamura. At that moment as all of her family looked at her, she knew she was dead. For a moment silence and in the next ‘’Traitors’’ came the hiss of Shamura, then came her claw that with grace that could only be matched by their second eldest. Proven with his scythe came between her and the cold claw of their eldest. She didn’t know what compelled her to block the hit that came from Kalamar that was meant for Narinder. She didn’t know and would most likely never know, but at the moment she couldn’t think much about that. So they continued, a froglet and a kitten against three dark Gods. Scythe and axe matching claw, sword and hammer. It was a dance now, one that somehow felt comforting as she sliced the ears of their cowardly brother. It felt like the ones they shared when it was just the two of them when the traitor had gone to tend to their court. When the cold of the night and the mist of the temple reminded her of the day she met the monster that almost made her its prey. So when he took the eyes of Leshy she couldn’t help but tap, tap, tap, tap. Then came tap, tap, tap, tap from his scythe to the ground as they were pushed back by the enraged Master of War, who now only saw red as their two siblings met the stone of the temple. Slice to cut, out came the ichor that danced in the air. For a moment she had a lip barring no scar that sang away those awful nights with his brother’s kind eyes watching. Now scarred they were, with a split that came from the claws of the traitor. The kind eyes looked at her once more as she lost her footing. Shining with determination she wished she could match before the three were now two as the traitor took more off of them. She found herself on the ground as his brother found himself pushed to the ground as the traitor took him apart, slice after slice as they cursed him. His weapon broken and away where he could not reach. For as many things she knew she didn’t know many yet. But she knew one thing, the traitor had to meet their end. She didn’t know how she matched the grace of the spider for that moment, but for a moment she truly felt like she danced maybe for the first time with Shamura before she met the cold claws once more. This time she would gain not a scar but lose a tooth and maybe two. But there came no more slice nor cut for the Traitor met his end with the sharper claws of their brother. With the same claws that gently took her up from the pond to a home, he took apart the brow that hid many and the mind that was behind this terribleness. Tap, tap, tap, tap. She heard, against her palm as she lay. She held his gaze as her four met the last two eyes of a cat clad in white and much red, with a mouth full of kind razor sharp teeth that gave her a smile. She closed her eyes as she heard ‘’Tap, tap, tap, tap froglet of mine’’ His hand found her lip as she felt his soothing cold claws, healing the damage of the traitor. ‘’Tap, tap, tap, tap cry not for I am here. Forever and more, with you.’’

https://archiveofourown.org/works/44580424/chapters/112140313

Are we sure? I don't mind losing a hand but an arm might just be too much not gonna lie

it dont bite

Didn’t Matter

Hello there, firstly I am trying something new on Tumblr. I wanna see how these short stories will do here. I am kind of new to these things so sorry if I am going against etiquette in some way. Anyhow I was meaning to talk about my headcanons and write them here but I thought giving an account of them through a story was a bit more entertaining and much more fulfilling. I hope you all enjoy this, if you all do I might continue it. also the link to the AO3 should be down there.

Warnings: Blood, Violence

WC: 1407

Rating: T+

It was not a quiet day. Far from it in fact as the sounds of battle reverberated across the temple I called my own.

Clashing steel against one another as they forced their way into his temple. Singing praises to my siblings. They poured into our home like thunderous rain, washing away the defenses set by my own flock. They showed no mercy as they ran them through, but as they moved forwards they noticed the death they gave was not the end for their would be victims.

One by one, all those they thought slaughtered rose from their supposed final slumber. To attack there would be killers. Some cried, some laughed maybe at the irony or just out of madness. But it didn’t matter.

Even as they got slaughtered back they pushed their way forwards with unending numbers on their side. An unceasing tide pushing against the shores of the restless dead. Eventually they came, the siblings I once called beloved. What a sight they were. Leshy breaking the very earth as he swung his hammer, Kallamar as he tore through the lines with his blades, Heket as she chopped my followers to bits. The only one standing unbloodied was Shamura, they stood clean amidst the carnage. If one were to ask me what was the oddest sight amidst this accursed day, I would tell them it was her. They were the most unusual. Not the sibling coming to slaughter one another nor the followers of the same faith tearing each other apart as they let their steel talk rather than the preachers. They stood as a Goddess of war, unbloodied amidst a carnage such as this. Even as my followers flung themselves at the four they stood unimpeded. Whatever opposition they had offered didn't matter. The four entered the throne room unopposed in the end, but none of their followers followed. Maybe it was because of orders or perhaps by genuine fear as they saw me in my fullest. 

I sat upon the throne with my scythe to my side. I wore no armor as I knew for beings such as us, no armor could stop our blows. No. I stood with only robes as white as snow. There were no words exchanged for what felt like eons. Eventually I spoke ‘’So, what has brought my dear siblings to my domain?’’ Even as I spoke I felt anger course through me. Trying to keep calm I drummed my hand against the throne. I was answered with silence as loud as the battle still waged behind. None met my eyes, not the proud Heket nor the coward Kallamar, other than Shamura. They gazed upon me as if they were judging me. What a funny little concept. They spoke after a sigh ‘’Narinder, Lord of Death, Traitor of the Old Faith, we have come to stop you for your Her-’’ 

I cut them off before they could speak more nonsense ‘’You think me as a traitor? a heretic even?’’ a scoff escaped me ‘’I am neither, my deluded sibling. Has your age finally gotten to you? Perhaps you have become maddened in your search for knowledge?’’ I got off the throne and as I did I could see my siblings take up arms once more, their limbs tightening against their weapons. I did not. I had my scythe still against my back.

I paced across the room as I continued ‘’You have come upon my realm, you have slaughtered my devout followers, you have insulted me with your baseless accusations’’ At last I stopped meeting Shamura’s eyes ‘’And you dare suggest I am the traitor?’’ I saw the way their face fell further as they closed their eyes, breathing once more they spoke ‘’I know the fate you wish to befall upon us Narinder. I saw it all, I saw your plans for us all, for the ones loyal to the Old Faith.’’ I laughed as they finished, what little faith for a God I thought. To believe some vision they have had over their own brother. To judge them based on something as simple as divination. I wanted to cry at that moment, to ask why, to demand why she would ever judge me on something that would never come to pass. I wanted to strangle her as I asked her what ill have I ever done to warrant the ostracization, the ceremonies I was excluded from, the unwillingness to hear my pleas for audience, the tears I shed not knowing why my cult had to be disbanded. But it didn’t matter. My laugh ended abruptly as I took up arms. My scythe by my side. Leshy was first. My brother was a being of chaos. His hammer reflected this well. He swung wildly as he tried to squash me down, but he held back. I could see it in his eyes as he tried to incapacitate me rather than kill me. It was a mercy that caused him much as I jumped over one of his blows to land upon the hammer. There was a pang in my heart as I clawed his eyes out, one swing and no more would the Leshy of Darkwood see. Next was Kalamar. He surprised me as he dodged my attacks. Weaving and countering all I could throw at him, but even as Heket helped him defend, he couldn’t keep up with me. I was stronger, faster, better, I was better. I saw his ears twitch as I got the upper hand on him, his brother always had his ears twitch when he was nervous. As of late it was whenever I was close to him, fluttering around as if I was an enemy, a beast, a monster. I swung, and no more did his ears offend me. Kallamar of Anchordeep would hear no more. A shrill voice came when Kallamar hit the ground weeping. and an ax flew for my throat, just to be caught by my scythe. Heket was a challenge. A challenge to be around, a challenge to be a friend to, a challenge not to love. She was strong, confident, smart, annoying, nagging and criticizing. Her words cut deep, deeper than the blow I almost received as I ducked just in time. It was time she stopped. a gurgle sounded from the ground as I silenced her forevermore. Heket of Anura would speak no more.

As we stood face to face with her, my sibling, my caretaker, the one I loved more than all, the one that took away my beloved cult, relegated me to a misbegotten legend, changed the very sermons so none could remember me. My first sibling now faced me with a withered look, their eyes not meeting mine. I could almost believe myself as I thought they wept. Only one word broke my silence ‘’Why?’’ We fought, steel against claw, magic against curse, brother against sister, traitor against traitor. I couldn’t match them, they were stronger, faster, better, they were better. But even as we fought, I could see their faith waning. Their blows softening, their curses now aimless, their eyes full of shame. In the end though, it didn’t matter. I struck their head, tearing apart the mind that thought me as a traitor. Shamura of Silk Cradle would think no more. As for me, well my chest wasn’t left untouched as my guts bursted out. 

I hit the ground, in the pool of my siblings blood as well as mine.I heard the chanting raise from all around me as I lay. I wept then and there. I would deny it, but it is true, I did. I wept as the chains shot out from the portal to the limbo and took me by the limbs. The searing heat of them only a mild pinprick in comparison to the pain of betrayal I felt. 

I raked my arms upon the ground as I tried to claw myself away from the void I was being dragged to. I gave all my might even as they got torn apart. But it didn’t matter. As I was dragged off to my fate I saw Shamura. They spoke even through their wound ‘’five becomes four becomes three becomes two becomes one becomes nothing’’

I felt a chuckle raise its way out as I was swallowed by the blinding white. All their efforts, all  their spilled blood, all their sacrifice. 

It didn’t matter. 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/43839834/chapters/110230173

Alright Followers of all kinds Here I present you... Another chapter. Chapter 9 to be specific. I hope you all enjoy this one, I know I took my time uploading this one and I hope you guys can forgive me (It was caused half by Laziness, half by real life stuff)

Oh Also HAPPY CHRISTMASSSSS or XMASSSSS