Switchfoot - Blog Posts
My two favorite relationships in the series.
The best thing :)
Wish I had what I needed To be on my own ‘Cause I feel so defeated And I’m feeling alone And it all seems so helpless And I have no plans I’m a plane in the sunset With no where to land
And all I see It could never make me happy And all my sandcastles Spend their time collapsing
Let me know that you hear me Let me know your touch Let me know that you love me Let that be enough
It’s my birthday tomorrow No one here could know I was born this Thursday Twenty-two years ago And I feel stuck watching history repeating Yeah, who am I? Just a kid who knows he’s needy.
Let me know that you hear me Let me know your touch Let me know that you love me Let that be enough
Let me know that you hear me Let me know your touch Let me know that you love me Let that be enough
Dare you to move
"Everybody waits for you now. What happens next? Yeah, what happens next? I dare you to move ... Like today never happened before." sings Jon Foreman. Dare you to move was and probably still is a great hit but there's more to it, than just radically high sales.
There are neccesarily times, when we're on the floor, or just struggling to find our way. This is how we live. Searching for the right thing to do. But what do we do in these times? I believe there's nothing we could possibly achieve on our own, we need someone to dare us to move. That first step, with which every journey begins, is the one, that we are incapable of making.
I've been all about surviving lately. I worked hard, so that I wouldn't fail on tests, I never went out with friends, so that I could save time, I relaxed only on one day of the week, I've even neglected my meals. My one and only goal was to last until the big romantic turn, which I've been waiting for for ages now, would come.
Turns out, this was a very futile attitude because now, after months of merely enduring, I'm left with no success. I was hoping to get a literary agent, or an editor, or something to get published. Actually, I was quite confident about it. I know my novel is good, and I believe it's the best I could do, or even beyond that. But it just didn't happen. Those, who replied, were sadly giving negative answers. I've kept my hope, saying I have like four more answers to come, one of those will surely be a contract offer. But it's been a long time now and yet, the mails have stopped to come.
What do I do now? This is what I kept asking myself in the past couple of days. My studies are at the lowest level, which suffices for staying in. My book most seemingly is not very good at selling itself. There is no miraculous benefactor, who would support my career as anything.
I've been thinking, maybe I should really concentrate on my current studies and get a diploma as an engineer - it pays well. But then, I want to be more than that. Free. Of course I'm not getting a degree in philosophy, or arts but still... Something else. I'd love to keep working on my book and write new ones. I want to travel, make acquintances, act memorably, and always remain myself. I just have absolutely no idea how to do all these without making sacrifices I wouldn't wanna. Naturally, I'm ready to give up things but I was referring to relationships I'm not willing to damage.
And suddenly, just now, I see clearly, that there's so much potential. So many things I used to believe in just a couple months ago. Why is my faith in them fading? I'm at the contradiction line. If I make one more step in the direction of this surviving-lifestyle, I'm done, I'm going against everything I am and want to be. Here's the trick: I have the motivation. There's someone, who says: I dare you to move. He picks me up, He's doing it even right now. Despite how I see my present state, I know there'll be deliverance, so I aim for that. If I'm true to my beliefs, to my past decisions, there's always redemption and restoration. I can't wait for tomorrow to begin :)
I wanna thrive, not just survive
"Feels like I travel but I never arrive" - sings Jon Foreman. I suppose it gets us all every now and then. We feel like we're doing so much, when at the same time our lives seem to be stuck at an unreasonable point.
Currently I've had the impression, that I'm working very hard, building a great relationship, doing everything possible. I sent out numerous query letters, to literary agents, in hopes of living one of my dreams: becoming a writer. Not neccesarily a full-time one, just any writer, who can change college and go from mechanical engineer to anything-else-with-which-I-can-be-a-writer-and/or-director... But it just doesn't happen! I'm not getting any response.
Do I suck, is that why they ignore me? This is what I've asked myself a thousand times. Insecurity and doubt, however, are just terrible lies. I say lies because they are totally unreasonable and useless. Oh and most of all pointless. This no-reply has nothing to do with my writing or with my letters, it's just the process, you dumbass, and when I say you dumbass I mean ME DUMBASS...
I've heard it so many times, that it's way too much, that: It isn't the finish line, which matters, but the road, that leads there. And: Enjoy life's wonderful journey, cos' that's what matters. But these are nonsense common-places. If I were given a dollar for every time I thought to myself: Oh, could you be any more wrong? - then I wouldn't have to study at all after all...
I know this has been nothing but confusing so far but believe me, my conclusion is at the corner now :)
We (and personally I, but let's stay with we) do struggle a lot and we make serious efforts. Most likely day by day. And it seems, like our lives are going nowhere. Because we're not getting anywhere... But is this true? We all are full of potential and we all are called for so much more. The big, romantic turn waits after this moment. Whenever we're ready. If we want to thrive, and not just survive, there is a chance. We can always trust our lives into the hands of the Heavenly Father, who is already taking us there. And it's THAT there. The next moment may just be a moment for a miracle. Let's thrive :)
Let your love be strong
"Falling down like broken satellites..." This is what Jon Foreman felt at some point in his life. I bet this wasn't just a one-time-experience, for I know it befalls on me over and over again.
I know where I'm headed, I know what I should do right now but I'm constantly wasting time from my life. It's when I don't shoot for the goal. Then it doesn't matter if I'm just sitting around, doing nothing or I'm purposefully transgressing morals, rules, anything... The effect is always the same: emptiness, being burn-out...
As I've said, I know where I'm headed. I know what I should do. It's so easy to picture myself as being an acknowledged novelist, director or such. I just sit here and imagine... And I also have great plans of finishing my first novel AT LAST. It's so clear what road leads there, what action is required now. But I'm just not on the right path. Momentarily...
However, as I said above, this is a temporary state, ergo, there is a way out. My momentary "crisis" can be settled, I can be revived very easily. There's this solution, which Jon Foreman sings about, he asks the Great I Am: Let your love be strong!
My world has to be resting on His love, and then I'm immediately out of the pit. Simple as that. Why? Because no matter what you're telling me, I feel His indescribable love, so I'm being moved externally. My miserable minutes are over, and maybe I can sing tomorrow's song earlier than expected :)
The loser
"Only the losers win, they've got nothing to lose..." sings Jon Foreman. And I'm kind of beginning to understand it to its depths. It can be read in countless other ways and I'M certain, that even he meant a different message than what's coming over to me...
I'm studying mechanical engineering in a prestigious university, so I'm supposed to be overly into it but I'm not. I mean to some extent I am and I can wholeheartedly say, that I get pretty easily excited for it but then I always become utmost guilty. It's because I know what I'll do: I'll write. Novels. Good and/or bad ones. But this is what I'll do. Maybe later, if I can manage, I'll become director of films. Or anything else. I know this is what I'm really supposed to do. It's not because it's easy to give up because it's not... But I'm doing it to truly be moving in the direction, for which I am born. I know it's confusing but the point is, I know, that this is the Heavenly Plan - at least for now... I just don't know when to start...
PS.: I must note, that Jon Foreman was a drop-out from uni :) ;)
"What direction - Life begins at the intersection"
It's a Switchfoot quote. OK, I know they didn't actually invent the line but it's in one of their best songs: Faust, Midas and Myself. This piece of music is more literary, than most of the contemporary novels. I'm not gonna add much about the lyrics but the basic question which it implies is whether our goals and dreams are well-thought-out - if we could have them all.
Recently I've been given/offered grand opportunities. One is: two contract offers from a good-named publishing company. It was sort of a before-the-right-time because I decided to continue perfecting my book. I don't even know why I tried to catch their attention. But the amazing thing is, that it worked easy as cake. WOW! Though there's clearly not much that I did. The whole situation is only a link of favourable but un-controlled events. For which I am really grateful.
I must admit, that it doesn't make me special, no matter how much I feel that way. At best, it's a special piece of art, which is worth the mention. But me? Out of the picture. Life often brings us to unprecedented intersections. We are to choose the direction. But do we choose wisely? No. (It was a very strong, firm no...) You know, we could be anyone. Life has no limits at all. Our beliefs, however, can lock us away from the best existing possibilities. We really do believe, that we can't be big people, successful, or simply happy. We let the popular concept take over: we are under too much weight to be getting anywhere in our lives. But in fact, there is no place, nodirection, which we could not choose. I guess the metaphor is as complete as ever...
If it leaves open questions, then answer them, it's on purpose!
Randomness rules!