Selfshipping - Blog Posts

every time i see dante/anyone (fics or art), it shatters my heart just a little bit more...

INTRO

INTERESTS: Devil May Cry Death Stranding Resident Evil Metal Gear Solid Visual Kei Metal J-Fashion (specifically EGL/EGA, mostly gothic and classic) Cosplay

ABOUT ME:

18 She/Her as default, but i use any! AroAce-Spec Neurodiverse Yumejoshi/selfship Southern Artist Writer

F/O List: (sorted by significance) Dante (DMC) (#1 F/O, hes literally my partner) Karl Heisenberg (Resident Evil 8)

Jan Valek (Vampires)

Higgs (Death Stranding)

Monsoon (Metal Gear Rising)

Snake (Black Butler

Dante posts will be marked:🍓🌙

Karl posts will be marked: ⚒️🌙

DNI: Normal DNI Criteria

Heisenberg Doubles

DANTE DOUBLES! what we have is a real relationship to me, and doubles gross me out.

realized i didn't post for a moment, so have this ig

my half of the art trade with @pinky-in-blankets :]

And their half (⁠人⁠ ⁠•͈⁠ᴗ⁠•͈⁠) (got permission)

I like this drawing a lot

funny how their relationship are actually kind the opposite :3 i'll may make a post about it

Still like this lil thing with my whole life,, tysm for the art trade (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠) 💜

my half of the art trade with @copepodkisser5000

I hope u like it even tho it's nothing big (⁠ ⁠ꈨຶ⁠ ⁠˙̫̮⁠ ⁠ꈨຶ⁠ ⁠) I really enjoyed drawing it for ya, you're very nice (and cool) it makes me wanna jump in the air

It was a pleasure to do an AT with you ‼️

HELLO YOU PERSON.S SEEING THIS POST

Just a reminder that my art trades are open! :3

Since it's finally holidays for the two next week for me, I thought maybe some ATs wouldn't hurt

You can see what I made so far on my "#self ship art trade" tag!

Soooooooo if you're interested, its written on the post I linked in purple up there :]

Tysm so far 💜

IT'S SO GOOD, I'M SMILING A MEGA BUNCH

it was my first time commissioning someone and I don't regret commisioning you at all, so thank you very much again ur art is amazing <3

Color commission for @/laul-self-fif

౨ৎ. Watch me selfship with myself /J/SILLY

OK GUYS;;; I MIGHT'VE GOTTEN;;; A LITTLE SILLY;;;

This started as a kinsona, and remained as such, HOWEVER it ended up with me using him to selfship with Ivrig, the kin in question,,,

Is this self-love????? I guess????? Yeahhhh whatever here, have a bunch of homosexual cabinets <3333

IN ADDITION !!! LORE !!!! UNDER THE CUT !!!

It's very very long so have a good read I guess </333 I put much passion into the homosexuals /silly

CW: mutilation, murder, transphobia, religious trauma

This is how his document would look like after he's scheduled for hacking:

NAME: Doe Santomassimo SEX: Female, although undergoes a masculine identity AGE: 20 HEIGHT: 170cm WEIGHT: 60kg

"A university student. No other instances of criminal record. Charged with mutilation and public exposition of corpses, and murder, shortly after the incident of a previous reformation target known as Yamamura. Found to be a BUG owner through scanning."

Doe is an Italian deer-folk, that's why I chose Santomassimo (can be translated into "Great Saint") as his surname, I just picked one of the most common surnames in my small town cuz ofc I wouldn't use mine even if I wanted to HJDHSDFJSFH

The reason why there isn't an actual birthname listed like for Ivrig still having "Kosuke" along with his chosen name, is that lore-wise, Doe undergo a legal name change. Ivrig, instead, stood with Kosuke during the legal name change in my personal headcanon of him being actually trans. In fact, in game he is not mad that people use Kosuke for him, he is more uncomfortable when his family insists on referring to him as "Ko-chan" using a feminine and infantilizing suffix. Plus, on the documents, his sex is male, meaning he also undergo some sort of legal sex change on paper at least. That means his family accepts the fact he is trans but don't quite understand how to fully be an ally and still use the "-chan" suffix. I assume that general hatred around the LGBT folks has been greatly reduced thanks to the whole "the soul is a source code, everything is prewritten" so people had gotten more understanding of the "I was born this way" and don't see it as something harmful. Although I can still see the older folks being judgemental and always take the opportunity to assume that any sign of diversity is actually a BUG and therefore personality error

This was the case for Doe's parents. His mother was purely Catholic and strongly believed that God sent the BUGs to punish the sinners. As a consequence, Doe lived in fear that even a minuscule mistake could lead to his death, even living under his true identity

After finally getting into university, and convincing his parents to get him a house to stay in, Doe is met with a completely different mentality, everyone is much more accepting and he slowly gets out of his shell to come out as trans. However, not to his parents, at least until he is met with the opportunity to undergo a legal name change. His parents are obviously furious, but not completely against. Doe can still be a pretty feminine name, however, his parents are much more against the fact that he chose to "discard his heritage" and choose a much more standard, English name rather than his Italian birthname. Tho there was still his surname so no biggie in the end

As stated before, his surname can be translated to "Great Saint" although the heritage of said surname is not really specified to be founded by religious backgrounds, it still recalls it quite a lot

Always afraid of religion, he'd grown distant of it, never sharing such detachment to his family and pretending to still be a believer every time he would come back to his hometown during the holidays

Speaking of hometown, his family is Italian but lives in the same setting of Ivrig's. Doe ends up attending a university in the same big city as Ivrig to study design, and that's how they meet

EDIT: Ignore that I completely forgot to talk about Doe's family LOL but he also has a little sister! His mother was first a musician but had to abandon that due to having children, which made her become a music teacher instead. Doe's mother is, in fact, known for being a really good pianist and everyone expected him to take the same passion for instruments. However, that did not happen and Doe took the same path as his father, which is becoming a designer. Everyone looked down on him because they thought that art would've been just a phase and "that job wouldn't have brought him anywhere if not under a bridge". It did not help that Doe's little sister DID take the music passion and started playing all sorts of instruments. Since the little sister took the musician path that the mother couldn't take, Doe was expected to at least take the teaching path. Of course, that wasn't the case, and Doe insisted heavily to go to university and study design. After a tough battle with his parents, they finally agreed

(Post Mindhack, Doe's family becomes more supportive, realizing that MAYBE they've fucked up lol) BACK ON THE LORE TY SORGY

Doe would always go to a specific square near most of the universities' campuses. He wasn't that good with social interaction and never really made much friends to hangout with, most importantly he wasn't used to the chaotic city life, so a nice, calm space where he could sit on a lone bench and draw whoever caught his interest was his go to activity

One day, Ivrig decides to use said square as a preaching spot: everyday he would settle down there at the same hour and preach loud and proud about LAGOM. Every time, Doe was there. Ivrig's passion and his over-the-top personality caught Doe's eyes, enough to actually lend an ear and listen, signing down information as he constantly imprinted Ivrig's poses on his notebook through doodles

He found himself interested for the first time into something related to religion. It quite resonated with him. Feelings are a hassle, they're complicated, everyone expects something different from him and from the way he chooses to express himself, sometimes people make themselves unreadable and confusing as if they were doing it on purpose! He didn't like doing mental gymnastic every time! How others would hate how he struggled with feeling empathy or feeling anything at all! What if... what if he could be inorganic?

However he didn't really feel like just- going there and ASK, that was too embarrassing! Instead, he sneaked behind Ivrig, and sticked a doodle page he made for him to his metal cabinet using a magnet, running away clumsily as soon as Ivrig turned around. Now, Doe is quite recognisable anyway so, the next day, at the same hour, Ivrig started preaching again but, instead of standing still in the middle of the square, he walked around it until he could locate Doe, stopping right in front of him to ask a rhetorical question and conclude it with "Isn't that right, Notebook?" addressing Doe directly

This is what started it all, Doe couldn't really run away from that anymore and, deep down, it was his plan all along, so this time he would be forced to confront Ivrig and get into the religion

One traumatic family disowning experience later, Doe is now living in the shared households of the LAGOM House, and what do you know, it's the same one where Ivrig also lives in. Doe survives with his scholarship and part-time job money, which is more than enough considering the high sense of community and the other believers helping him out, just like they did for Ivrig. In a way, Doe became Ivrig's disciple, always going to him whenever he was in doubt

Once he reached Ivrig's rank (Shelves and the like) he also chose a cabinet. Most of the believers expected him to pick a library or anything else related to his strong passion for drawing and designing, however, Doe explained his choice saying he based himself off "functionality and affordance" rather than passion and the being easy-to-assemble. Being a student in design, he follows the rules of "affordance", which is "the characteristics or properties of an object that suggest how it can be used. It shows a user that an object can be interacted with.". The main 3 agents that can be interacted with are Buttons, Switches and Sliders/Levers, with the main 3 interactions being Push, Pull, Turn. A good object is functional if designed to be as such, following the rules of affordance. A library is static, it's just a storage. A cabinet is dynamic, it has a door, it can communicate how to use such door and can be designed in many different, artistic and yet functional ways. Moreover, he designs his own cabinet head to be perfectly functionable, removable, and with glasses incorporated. Ivrig is quite jealous of that but he would never admit that out loud HAJHDFJSH

But, most importantly, he is quite the homosexual for Ivrig, but we don't talk about that /SILLY

Just kidding, we're absolutely going to talk about the homos

Doe is absolutely crushing on Ivrig however none of the two are able to read the room, with Doe thinking that his crush on Ivrig is just him blowing his sense of admiration out of proportions, and Ivrig thinking that Doe's obvious romantic hints are just a demonstration of appreciation because he's such a great preacher

It DOESN'T HELP that, while venting/gossiping to each other about their lives, Ivrig mentions the scam incident, where he truly believed to have met the girl of his dreams. Now Doe thinks Ivrig's straight </3

Soon enough, however, Doe can't resit and, while they're alone and Ivrig is sharing some random fact he knows, he removes his cabinet and gently grabs Ivrig's hands to kiss them since- he can't kiss him due to the cabinet being wielded shut from the inside (for now <3)

Doe and Ivrig are now going through this very simple and fluffy relationship where all they do is just,,, being boyfriends and hold hands that's all <333333

THAT,,,, is,,, until Ivrig does what he does,,,,

Doe takes Ivrig's place as a preacher... however that does not last long as he cannot accept that the one he loved and that actually accepted him could've done such things without a reason. So, in order to prove his devotion to Ivrig he goes against LAGOM and recreates the exact same crime. With the difference that Doe exposes the corpses in a whole ass artistic exhibition IN THE SAME SQUARE that Ivrig used to preach in

When Doe is scheduled for hacking, Ivrig had already been dismissed, so imagine seeing your boyfriend on the news before you could have the time to meet him again after getting reformed,,,, augh,,,

Yes cuz, Ivrig DOES remember Doe, all that the BUG erased was LAGOM and his identity connected to It. There might be missing pieces, a LOT of them, but he still remembers that they were in a relationship. However, Doe... doesn't remember much of Ivrig. That is because Doe is a huge people pleaser, he is the kind of guy that is willing to do everything to receive the approval from anyone that even barely shows affection to him. His BUG's outbreak reached its peak due to his denial and desire to receive approval from the one he loved. This resulted into Doe not believing in LAGOM anymore, but also considering Ivrig a charlatan, not remembering much of him in the first place, let alone the fact that he had a relationship with him

Following the headcanon that Captain, Rookie and Unid end up becoming Ivrig's found family, Ivrig doesn't have that many problems going in and out of the HOTFIX building, skipping the security procedures cuz that's their son bitch /silly

So, Ivrig runs to Doe and is immediately struck by the terrifying "Do I know you?" statement </33333

Think that maybe Ivrig went without his cabinet (since I headcanon that after being mindhacked he gets help to remove it and modify it so that he can wear it again and take it off with ease) or left it to Miki or Captain while he waited to be able to visit Doe so he goes back to get the cabinet and wear it again and Doe is like "Ohhh aren't you like-??? That weird ass charlatan?? I followed your preaching and did that bad stuff!!"

Oh well that got worse

So like, Ivrig says "Omg no way I got reformed too I don't follow that god anyway either-!!" and Doe is NOT convinced cuz "Well if you got reformed that's another reason why I shouldn't trust you blindly!"

Ivrig is so heartbroken and asks Captain for advice cuz ofc he would that's his mom now and she's like, immediately in to help and offers to take the guard's shift and watch over Doe instead to talk to him and subtly ask about Ivrig and what he thought about him and if he remembers, which brings in the whole speech about "changing the scenery" (y'know? the same speech she gave to Doctor about change?) cuz yeah Doe is 100% valid for not wanting to listen anyone blindly anymore and become more of his own person instead of being so dependable of other's acceptance, but y'know Ivrig could still care for him nonetheless. They had BOTH changed, that's more than one reason to try again

So they talk again and they figure out that Ivrig doesn't remember shit about his time at the LAGOM House, but Doe DOES and vice versa since, during their time together, they've vented to each other so now they remember facts about the other person but not about their own lives. Even if it's very minimal they share what they remember about the other, tho Ivrig doesn't specify anything about them being together since Doe doesn't seem to remember that at all

So this time, it's IVRIG trying to send hints in the clumsiest way possible and Doe NOT catching them at all <3333

AUUGHHHH I love the gayyssssss

Ty for listening to my homosexual rambling (it will happen again) <3

Art Trade with @genderqueermercury !

HI !!! i was thinking really hard on if i should do this for like forever because being nonsharing about a rlly popular character is uuhh... Difficult but.. WHY NOT GANG WHY NOT?

THIS IS MY MAIN BLOG! my sideblog is @my-beautiful-wife-mephiles and much more info is there ^^

nonsharing sonic yume // he/it // mlm ftm bxy // fictopartnered since 2017 // yes i am shadowkin :P

Things to do instead of talking to your f/o on c.ai:

draw something with them

write something with them

make an edit or other graphics of them. screenshot edits where you add your headcanons or other changes to their design are great too even if you don't commit to the new design

revisit your favorite scenes or even reconsume their entire source

go hunt for pictures of them you didn't save yet

go look for new fanart, fanfics, or other fan content made by others

gush to other people about them

talk about them in general even if it's not a gush. share your favorite fun facts, talk about their source, or share some headcanons

find someone to roleplay your f/o for you

make a journal page dedicated to them

write them a letter (and maybe write a response letter from their perspective too)

listen to songs that remind you of them. you could also make a 2010s style AMV of them with that song

Selfship community I'm doing this to you <3

how it feels to stop denying that you're genuinely attracted to fictional characters like others are to real people and to start taking your f/os seriously like you always wanted

he’s way ahead of u man

meant to put this in my last post as some random bonus art but decided against it so you’re seeing it now

reverse selfship au: imagine your f/o sleeping with a plushie of you NOW 🫵

[OC X CANON APPRECIATION POST! 🩷✨]

REBLOG IF YOU LOVE AND SUPPORT OC X CANON!!

hi guys!!

small update post, I’m gonna be taking a short break from posting for mental and physical health reasons. as of late my chronic pain has been getting worse, some of which had been agitated greatly by a bad panic attack and ptsd flashbacks.

I’m estimating that it’ll last maybe 5-7 days, nothing too serious but long enough for me to want to let you guys know!

you are more than welcome to continue sending stuff in if you’d like! I do love seeing messages and doodles from you guys, it always makes me happy <3

thank you so much for being such sweetie pies to me!! love you all!

Feeling silly.

Was scrolling through IHNMAIMS stuff, saw your blog, saw your stuff, so I thought I'd—

*drops fanart*

(also shamelessly showing off my OC cuz yes. Call it "Prototype", its here to be a nuisance while everyone else suffers)

(tumblr butchered the quality a lil' but what can I do)

Ok bye—

THIS IS SO AMAZING OH MY GODDDDD THANK YOU SO MUCH <3<3<3

YOUR ARTSTYLE IS SO CUTE!! I LOVE HOW SHARP IT IS !!! IM STIMMING SO HARD AAGHGUTGHJDRGHJEJHSRGTER!!

your design is SO cute I LOVE PROTOTYPE I WANNA BE ITS FRIEND!!! WE MUST BE BESTIES IMMEDIATLEY!!!

AWWWWW OMG THIS IS SO DAMN CUTE TYSM <3<3<3<3

tumblr is trying to tell me something here...

hmmmmm.... what could it possibly be.... /s

Hii! I love the way you draw you AM. Hes so silly. Also really love your lil peep, being a computer software has to be so fun i think.

Oh also on a scale of 1-10 what would you and AM rate brownies?

hihi! thank you so much! i have a lot of fun drawing him <3

being a computer software is pretty fun! i can basically go wherever i want on the internet [for better or for worse....] there are a couple of downsides though, considering file corruption and decay is easy to catch if you're not careful or well protected, which i'm not considering that i was kinda defunct for not functioning perfectly... [naahhh not the computer program disability] so i have contracted some viruses a few times -w-''

as for the brownies thing! this is such a cute question! neither of us can eat in the traditional sense but i can copy food code and models from games and basically use them as holograms to eat! ive gotten good enough at code cooking to know how to write my own digital recipes [though i am not without my mistakes!!] i can transfer the code into am's receptors and though its not quite the same, he can still pick up the signals of what they taste like!

i've made brownies quite a few times and i'd rate them an 8/10! they're super yummy and i really like the texture! the thing that pulls them up to a 10/10 is if i put them with vanilla ice cream!! pretty popular combo but its popular for a good reason! am says he rates them a 4/10 as he can't really understand the appeal of the texture and thinks that the lack of variety is primitive [aka, his way of saying they're boring.] he also notes that the presentation isn't amazing and that they're a bland display. the four points comes from me making it for him, so he can't bring himself to hate it.

this design is really cute!!!

thank you but What <3

thank you so much <3

HELL YEAH!!!!! AM LOVES ME FOREVER!!!!! <3

THIS IS SO CUTE OMGGGGGG!!!!! HES SO HANDSOME <3<3<3<3<3

today's new gifs!!

best part about having a moot with an f/o from a media that i dont know is that i literally only know am as Your character 🙏🙏 no idea who this guy is but thats your husband. yeah. i believe it...

HELL YEAH! vam is canon not clickbait

thats 100% a troll trying to start shit. izzy isnt even on that blog rn if you check, it’s someone else running it. not a single person alive would SIGN their hate mail on an anonymous platform without an ulterior motive. they probably dont like you OR izzy and want to start drama. don’t fall for it.

i realize that's a possibility and that's why i addressed both scenarios! i don't want to outright say its them or not but i acknowledge that it could be. i appreciate your concern, though. [edit: i know i most likely seem paranoid and, yes, i am. i'm not without my psychological problems and i'm sorry if i'm being irrational. i'm trying to be as kind about the situation as possible but it's still quite distressing.]

HII MOOTIE SO UMM. i'm planning on doing smth similar to your vam cubby with my main f/o osmosis jones, and i wanted to know how you made the little paper thingies hang

that is all ty :3 sorry this wasn't vam related 😭🙏

HI MOOTIE! its completely fine that its not vam related, im happy to help!

the method i used for making the little hangers is pretty simple,

make the little hanger fellas!

get some sort of string [i used bracelet elastic since it's what i had but anything works tbh]

tape or glue the edge of the string to the paper in the direction you want it to hang from [for mine i did the top of the drawing with the string coming about 1/3 down the back of the paper.]

get paperclips and bend them so that the inner.. clip,.. part [idk paperclip anatomy..] is at a 90 degree angle with the larger part sitting flat so it looks like a coat hanger!

tie the top of the string around the smaller protruding part of the paperclip! [depending on the type of string you use you might want to double tie it, mine wanted to slip out.]

tape the larger flat part of the paperclip to where you want it to hang from!

[optional] attach something to the back of the paper to weigh it down so it wont hang weird! personally i used poster putty on the back of mine but you could probably just tape another paperclip to the back :D

enjoy!!! p.s. osmosis jones is SO real of you and you draw him so cute!

AHEM. addressing 'izzy' [aka, getting told to kms by someone ive never met OR a troll]

so. i never expected that i'd have to make a post like this, but here we are! :D

soooo.. this morning i woke up and checked my strawpage as i usually do because i work from home and my schedule is hellishly terrible, and i find some cute little doodles [that i will be posting later] and woah! what's this! my first 'kys'! wait a minute...... i recognize that name!! so i totally FREAKED OUT because like.. is this real??? i was shaking [more in the shocked and confused way rather than the upset way but still..] i want to believe that it's simply a troll impersonating another am selfshipper but i don't have any evidence leaning in either direction so i'll simply address both possibilities.

if i am to believe it's not a troll impersonating a double:

as i've said, i don't want to believe this option is true because i like seeing the best in people and i wouldn't want to assume the worst of someone i don't know, BUT i have to admit that there is a large possibility that this gimmick came from 'ams-puppy', a double that my friends have mentioned to me before and i've seen a few times myself.

i pride myself in being kind, even on the internet where i could get away with being mean under the veil of anonymity so i'm very sad that my mere existence offended you enough for you to go as far as telling me to end my life.

it should be obvious to anyone with the maturity past a ten year old that this behavior is unacceptable and childish.

i know am is mean and all but that doesn't give you an excuse to be a bad person, if anything it should encourage you to be kinder like it has for me.

if i am GULLIBLE AS SHIT and it is a troll:

why??????????? like, genuinely, what do you gain from this? though i respect the craving for chaos, trying to stir up fake drama is pathetic. and why in this community of all things? it's just foolish.

i suggest you take a moment to think about your actions and reevaluate what you do with your time. go outside. have fun. talk to friends. there are better things for you to do out there.

EITHER POSSIBILITY, this behavior is shitty and pathetic.

"erm...."