Self Loathing - Blog Posts

how awful do you think cecil felt when kain disappeared in mist? after accidentally annihilating an entire village, the guilt was already flooding in, let alone when he realized he personally dealt with rydia's mother. then the one person he had in the moment to rely on slides away in an earthquake that he definitely also could blame himself for (this is the most anxiety ridden man i've ever seen. he most definitely blames himself for that.) and is left with rydia, whom he dutifully takes care of, even though she hates him with all her guts (at the time).

imagine the self loathing, thinking that he condemned someone he loved to a death between stone and ash, thinking he could have prevented all of it if he'd simply had the guts to tell the king of baron "no". or investigated the ring he'd been instructed to deliver further. or anything else. but he didn't have time to dwell on it, because he needed to protect rydia, and that was his fault too.

Felt in a whole entire flipping dimension 💀

tags: Anyone who wants to join!

I was going through Pinterest and found this. As I am a sucker for online quizzes here y'all go 😂.

@panic-at-the-gender @zoopazoo

Tagging people I think may be interested. 😂 I really don't know a lot of people here though

there's an uncut scene where after danse finds out he's a synth he goes and vents on his twitter

First Time

This moment when you start having sex for the first time, but you are so afraid and scared and don’t know what to do and feel bad about the boy who is trying to loosen you up and calm you down.

And then you fall asleep and later be afraid of showing that you are awake in the middle of the night.

And then you suddenly realize you’re probably really gay and demisexual (like you have been questioning) and now you just want to run out of his house and disappear but cant because his parents are awake and he is a light sleeper and he is actually one of your best friends and you would feel bad about just running away but also feel guilty for leaving him with blue balls.

I hate myself rn for this so much. Where is my confidence gone? Ah yeah right it always has been a fake mask, I forgot.

Do i need to add more??

Destination: Self loathing

It's easy to lose yourself in isolation. With no one to keep you company but the weight of all you've done and the proof of it in front of you as a constant reminder as you look in the mirror. But everything must go back to normal, or as normal as possible as you gather yourself to face the day. You may be screaming on the inside, but on the outside, you have to be alive and not grimace as you smile. I read somewhere, that if you smile, or make any kind of facial expression for 10 minutes or so, you'll become happy, or become sad. I don't know if I believe that or not, I don't want to try, but I do know that you'll become anything if you will it enough. It's easy to hide, it's easy to mask yourself, it's each to blend in if that's what you want to do, and it's okay. There's no written law that says, "War is peace. Freedom is slavery. Ignorance is strength." Unless, this is George Orwell's 1984, and if it is, we should all kill ourselves. Destination: Self loathing, but maybe with a few sunny days ahead. Self isolation isn't always fun.

"Why do you reject love" he asked. "I can't bring myself to accept love because I don't even know how to love myself gently. To be loved... I feel I must first be flawless in the mirror, in the mind, in a room full of strangers, in the quiet corners of my soul. How can I be someone's dream girl if I never feel good enough?" Silence lingered, heavy and unresolved.

—A lady and her quill, Notes to a boy I now resent

Arielle Twist, from Disintegrate/Dissociate; “Mother/Creator”

[Text: “Mother, / I don’t know if I can do this / can I process / can I forget / can I be whole / can I be holy / I know / I can’t breathe / with these broken ribs”]

Just a reminder to all the people self sabotaging themselves

Growing up is actually all about realizing people don’t inherently dislike you and it’s a bit odd to assume they do

Love can be mastered. Days as they surpass each other love can grow where it never was. Though, the art of loving yourself is surely a hard seed to plant, grow or finally harvest.

You have been numb and dumb,

isn’t it time you said something for yourself ?

It might matter mate

It might be a change for us but mostly a

spark to take you there were you image.

Some bloomed in the same loneliness

that mutilated others.