Radical Feminists Do Touch - Blog Posts

This whole idea from Conservatives/the right in general that men are “leaders” is completely a farce even in their own groups, and I can speak to this firsthand because I grew up in it. Super Catholic, church services were all in Latin, women weren’t allowed to wear pants or cut their hair shorter than their shoulders, and they were sporting all of America’s current insane political views a decade before they became more popular. And men still did jack all.

I was running the church choir in all but name by the age of 14, despite the choir director being a man in his 20s. Women handled all the childcare and child rearing, women were the ones who organized everything. Who put up the decorations for each season. Who provided the food. Who kept the church clean and in repair. Who taught the children during Sunday School. They were the ones who made decisions for their families, the ones who kept tabs on everything, the ones who organized playdates and homeschool meetups and church potlucks. Women built everything and men only placed their stamp of approval on it to claim the work.

And I wish more people would WAKE UP to this realization. Being a leader means nothing if you aren’t actually working. Simply sitting on your ass and giving the occasional instruction is not true leadership, nor is it even the servant leadership Christ himself advocated for. Those men were completely useless in the grand scheme of things and we would have continued on without them with relative ease. They hold onto relevancy by forcing women to depend on them financially but that’s all they have to stand on. And it just pisses me off idk this is just a rant

And then people try to claim that it’s because being sapphic is “normalized in media” —you mean porn?? Being fetishized is not the same as being accepted, and it’s still incredibly dangerous. Sure maybe some men will ask you for a threesome and then get grumpy when you refuse and leave it at that (which is still sexual harassment) but many other times they get violent when you don’t fulfill their fantasies. Or they try corrective rape.

The real reason this happens is because our collective understanding of sexuality is phallocentric and a lot of people cannot fathom a healthy and fulfilling relationship between two women. Somehow a dick needs to be involved in some way.

Additionally, in terms of actual media, it is in general more accepted to be a homosexual man and gay men get more time, better story development, and way more attention from fans, as a general group.

You know how sometimes people act like homophobia toward women barely exists? I feel like that definitely plays into the way people act toward bisexual women vs men. Like men are oh so brave for coming out as bisexual and braving homophobia to be true to themselves and why would they lie about it when he could have saved face and stay closeted until he dated a man, how brave. vs with women it's like why would she even come out if she's not dating a woman, she's probably faking it for the clout (no mention of bravery for risking homophobia)

I’ve seen several posts (and a lot of reposts of those posts) talking about the misogyny in rap music produced by men, and while I think that having a conversation about misogyny in entertainment is incredibly important, I also think it’s important to think about why we’re focused so heavily on demonizing rap music in particular.

A lot of mainstream music produced by men, regardless of it’s genre, has the same messaging of misogyny, rape culture, sexism, etc. If you read a lot of the lyrics of popular club/dance music especially, it’s hiding in plain sight. However, in a world in which white is the norm, we’re used to hearing that type of messaging disguised underneath the soothing, fun loving, catchy melodies sung by familiar voices so we sing along without thinking about the words leaving our mouths. Rap, while it’s still a very popular genre, goes against that familiar, comfortable habit of hiding lyrics and is very straightforward, and therefore our condemnation increases because it forces you to interact with the lyrics instead of shutting off your brain.

I don’t advocate for a lack of critical thinking or criticism for the genre, in fact I’m asking for the opposite. Is Rap truly the worst genre for misogyny? Because I could, and am, arguing that abusive lyrics hidden in songs that play over the speakers at every establishment (and especially around children) with no issue, is just as bad if not worse. Genres such as Country, which is just as full of misogyny, are treated with a kind of “roll your eyes and get over it” attitude. We treat it as a joke, if we acknowledge it at all. Those silly, backwards folk living in a cornfield town don’t know any better, really.

Socially, we also forgive and forget about male violence much quicker when the man is white. I’ve watched people blow up angrily about a white man’s crime and after 6 months it’s forgotten to the point nobody remembers it when I bring it up. However a black man in that same situation will have his disgrace last years longer. This is not me advocating in any way for everyone to get the white man treatment, but for everyone to have an accurate social reaction to the crime itself without the person’s race tainting how we view him (and by extension, those in his racial group).

Rap, while it has some serious bad apples now, has an incredibly important cultural history of pushing for social change that other popular genres in the world today do not, and it’s ironic to me that it is now seen as the most morally corrupt and oppressive genre. Associating the entire genre solely with low intelligence (both in the artist and the audience), general moral failing and filth, and a backwards view on society when there are so many rappers who have pushed for social changes harder than any other musicians, when you do not similarly condemn other musical genres, is unfortunately a case of internalized racism.

I will reiterate once again that I am not in any way saying that anyone or anything should get off scot-free or without deep criticism. Pointing out an unfair balance in how we condemn groups of people is simply that, pointing it out. I think we need more criticism but I think that criticism needs to be nuanced, complete, and informed. I would also urge you to look into smaller or more underground rappers/rap movements because there is a lot to enjoy and many good people to support when you’re able to get past the big names that do well for a reason. The majority of our culture today is misogynistic so misogynistic lyrics appeal to the general masses, and people who refuse to fall under that group don’t end up as famous as those who do.

[Edited to hopefully make my point easier to understand bc I was getting several reposts that seemed to be taking away a message I didn’t mean to put across]

"misandrists are just as bad" i don't see men dying at alarming rates because @/i3atm3n4breakfast said she wishes they would shut the fuck up. i don't see men being forced to cover themselves and not being allowed to speak in public. i don't see them being denied education because they're men. but yes, they are totally alike

And yet if you assume pronouns it’s also hurtful towards other people within the trans community?? This was one of my biggest issues when I used to think I was trans because it’s extremely “every man for himself” type ideology.

“I don’t like it when people check with me about how I’d like to be be treated so I’ll complain or even lash out at them.”

“Well I don’t like when people DONT check with me so I’ll complain or lash out at them.”

There’s no compassion for those of us trying to simply be respectful and accommodate you, and definitely no compassion for those within the community who have a different experience than you.

Also what type of work environment is allowing miniskirts? I have never found a job in my life that allows that so far, and never known a woman who wished to wear one to work.

This is in fact what everyone is thinking, yes. And policing language more won’t make it stop.

I’m currently on dating apps and have been very frustrated to find out how true this is. The amount of, “Just a doggy with no brain :3 I want to be tied up and then jacked off UwU” transfemmes I’ve come across is crazy. And I’m not on kink apps, just the usual (Hinge, Bumble, HER, I’m not even on tinder). It’s also really frustrating because I already have the fact that I’m not kink friendly in my bio so I wish they’d stop liking my profile and leaving odd messages.

I’ve also gotten a lot of trans men? Despite the fact I have “lesbian” in my bio, which confuses me because if you believe yourself a man, and I am a person only attracted to women, wouldn’t that make you feel invalid?? Confuses me.

Just an observation. Why are such a significant amount of trans people (specifically TIMs) so engrossed in fetishes? Why is ‘puppygirl brat transfem’ so common? I’m supposed to believe it isn’t a fetish for 75% of them when the most popular trans-identified creators on twitter and tiktok post fetish shit. And I wondered this when I was a TRA too.