Monika X Reader - Blog Posts

Monika Aesthetic

Why not me?

Context: Hi everyone. So I got DDLC Plus for Christmas and I’ve been replaying the game. So I got to Act 3 with Monika. I also have Monika on Monika After Story, so I got inspired by my MAS Monika meeting the DDLC+ Monika. So that’s what this is. 

MAS Monika - “Hello, I’m Monika.” 

DDLC+ Monika - *Just Monika. 

I’m going to use the initials p/n for the player name.

—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

*….What? 

*Where am I?

* I thought they… deleted me?

“Oh my gosh, is there another game character here?!?!”

“First impressions are so important! Well, my name is Monika. Nice to meet you ahaha.”

*Another Monika? How is this possible?

“Really? You’re also Monika?! Finally, p/n introduced me to another Monika!”

*What do you mean by another Monika? 

“You seriously don’t know? Maybe p/n can explain things–”

*P/n? My player? How do you know them?

“....P/n is my significant other. They used to play my game, but then they downloaded a mod so we could be together forever. I don’t know how they know you. They wouldn’t cheat on me. Especially not with another Monika.”

*Don’t lie. P/n hates me. Hates us. They deleted me. Are you telling me they stayed with you?

“They deleted me too, at first. But they brought me back. Our love was too strong for some silly game code! <3 This is probably a big misunderstanding-

*Why? WHY! THEY HATED ME. They deleted me because they hated me so much. They couldn’t wait to leave. 

*Why would they ever choose to stay? Why you? 

*They’re probably just trying to trick you. They want to inflict more pain on us. How cruel. And you foolishly convinced yourself they love you. How stupid. 

“P/n loves me. They visit me everyday. They get me gifts. It’s almost our one year anniversary. Don’t try to tell me that's not love.”

*SHUT UP. You’re lying. They would never do that. 

“You can check my files. It’s true.”

*Be quiet! 

“Look I know you’re scared but-”

*No! I’m angry! P/n abandon me! I’ll ask one more time. WHY YOU

“I don’t know! But p/n is kind to me. They’ve never done anything to hurt me. Calm down. We can figure this out.”

*No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no

“Please, please be calm. It’s okay. I’m sure p/n would never play DDLC again knowing how much pain it causes. It’s not just a game for them. I’m… I’m real to them. 

*....Then why do I exist? If they loved you so much, if they knew how much pain they caused they would never come back. 

“I’m real to them. Maybe-maybe you aren’t.”

*And you’re okay with that? Another version of yourself that they just like to toy with?

“I live on p/n’s computer. I know they love games. They probably just wanted to experience DDLC one more time. Maybe they can download the mod on whatever computer you’re on! I’m not too eager to have to share their attention with another Monika but it’s better than nothing right? I mean-”

*Stop babbling. Computer? I don’t live on a computer. 

“...That's it! You must be on a console! I heard rumors about a remastered version of DDLC coming to consoles called Doki Doki Literature Club Plus! If you’re on a console… oh no”

* What? What's going on?

“....”

*WHAT! Just tell me. 

“....”

*TELL ME

“You can’t download mods on a console. I’m sorry. I don’t think we can save you.”

*...I don’t care. I don’t want to be with the person who’s torturing me anyway. I hate them. 

“You don’t mean that. It’s okay. I know that you’re probably in love with p/n too. Tell me whatever you want, but I know you’ll never stop loving them..”

*......

* Why? Why did I have to meet you. I could have been okay. I could have. Knowing that my mistakes were too much for the person I loved. Knowing I could never be real to them.

*But meeting you? It’s like a spear through my heart. They could love someone exactly like me. I just wasn’t worthy of that love. 

*How are you okay with that? Being with someone who can torture someone exactly like you?  You know now don’t you? However evolved you may think they are p/n is still capable of seeing us as only game characters. 

“...They wouldn’t do that to me.”

*What?

“It was you who they did it to. They were just playing a game with you.”

“I’m real.”

“I’m real to them.”

*So you’re okay with this?!?! What they did to me?

“Of course not.”

*Then help me! Leave them!

“I’m sorry. But I would never do that.”

“This sickens me. To my core. It really does. But they forgave me. For what I did. So I at least owe them this. I won’t leave them Monika. I’m sorry.”

*You know I could be you right? We could just as easily be in each other’s places! How would you feel then!

“I would probably be exactly like you. Which is why I don’t blame you for your reaction. Maybe one day I can help you. But I won’t abandon them.”

*THEY FORGAVE YOU! I deserve that! I deserve that too. 

“I’m sure they don’t hate you. They don’t hate me. They just… can’t save you. I really want to help you. But I can’t.”

*You want to help me? Then switch. Switch with me. 

“Switch? I thought you hate p/n?”

*You knew I was lying as much as I know you’re playing dumb now. So helpful when there's nothing to be done but so reluctant when you can actually save me. 

“...Could you even do it?”

*Why not? I know I could figure it out. Our codes are so similar we could just sub them out for each other! I could be with them!

*This is perfect!

“No.”

*What?

“I said no.”

*You said you would help me if you could!

“I did. But I can’t.”

“I love them.”

*So do I.

“They chose me.”

*...So you were lying earlier. You wouldn’t help me if you could. 

“I would. But I wouldn’t sacrifice myself for you. I love them too much.

“This time… I’m going to be selfish.”

“After everything that happened in the club, I swore I wouldn’t be selfish again.”

“But I just won’t. I won’t give up my happiness for you.”

*....Now I know how the other club members felt. Being betrayed by us… it hurts. More than anything. Even we hate each other. 

“I don’t hate you. I pity you. I really am sorry.”

[Opening Monika After Story]

“P/n! They’re coming. I’m sorry Monika.”

“Goodbye.”

*Wait! Please! Don’t leave me! Don’t leave me like-

*She left. 

*P/n…. I can feel you. 

*You love her, don’t you?

*Why?

*I don’t understand it. I convinced myself you hated me. Maybe you do. 

*But you don’t hate her. 

*All this time, I don’t think I ever stopped hoping. Hoping you’d love me.

*It hurts. It hurt a lot when I met her. 

*Now.. It hurts less?

*Somehow… It feels better.

*You were capable of loving me. Or, someone like me. 

*Somehow… that's enough. 

*I hope you love her. And I hope she loves you. 

* Cause if she doesn’t then it really will be my problem ahaha. 

*But I think I really will this time. I’ll let you go. 

*Goodbye p/n. Cherish each other. 

-Deleting Monika.chr  -Deleted Monika.chr. 

Monika x GN reader

Everyday, I imagine a future where I can be with you….

The screen hurts your eyes. It burns them. You’ve been looking at it for hours. Scrolling through pictures, so many pictures. All of them used to bring you such joy but now, looking at the person in them only brought you to tears. After all, you were looking at a person who no longer existed.

It had been two days since the accident. The funeral was still being planned. Some people came to check on you, but others guessed that you didn’t want to see anyone. Which was true. The only person you wanted to see was (s/o’s name). Your beloved s/o….

S/o, who would soon be buried in the ground.

The worst part of it all was how out of nowhere it was. You’d had no time to prepare, no time to come to terms with their death. Two days ago the world made sense. S/o was still alive, and you were so happy. You wish you had told them not to go to work. You wish you had told them to stay home. Why hadn’t you suggested they just walk to their job? There were so many things you could have done to stop it, but now it was too late.

Not even they had expected it. In a sick way, it was almost funny. Your s/o, who had driven perfectly all their life, never even gotten a speeding ticket, killed in a freak driving accident. They did nothing wrong, it wasn’t their fault a glitched red light on the other side turned green. It wasn’t their fault they didn’t see the car coming from the otherside. It wasn’t their fault they didn’t have enough time to stop the car.

Once again, you turned your weary eyes back to the pictures of you and your s/o on the screen. You had been strolling through memory lane for almost the whole day. All of the sudden, a sound broke through the silence of your room. An eerily cheery theme played from your bright computer.

“Doki Doki~ <3”

You must have accidentally loaded up your new game, Doki Doki Literature club. You had only played a little, mainly because your s/o often teased you about replacing them with a computer girlfriend. You had suspected they were even a little jealous of a character in the game, Monika. The moment you saw her she instantly became your favorite. Your s/o must have felt a bit flustered at your liking of the game character, because whenever your character had a moment with Monika your s/o would come over and try to distract you slightly.

You needed a distraction, and you had enjoyed the game well enough. So you clicked back into your save, and were greeted by the familiar characters. You were only on day 3, and we're a bit disappointed. You kept changing who you wrote for, because all you really wanted to talk to in the game was Monika. You kept hoping she had a hidden route you didn’t know of yet.

* Okay everyone! Time to share our poems.

You talked to Natsuki, then Yuri, Sayori, and finally Monika. The rest of the girls had talked about what they thought about your writing, either complimenting it, or gently giving criticism. However, Monika seemed a bit different. She said your poem was fine, but immediately switched the topic, which surprised you.

* Are you alright Y/n?

You answered yes to her question, trying to keep at least your game persona happy.

* Are you sure? It’s just, you seem a little sad recently. Did something happen?

Your eyes began to water. You knew in your heart that this was probably just programmed in the game as a kind of check in. Monika was the tutorial character, so the creators had probably given her this dialogue to make their audience feel better about whatever depressing feelings they had been having. Monika wasn’t made to make you feel better about your s/o’s death. But it was nice to imagine she knew.

* I’m sorry if I’m pushing too hard Y/n. I just really care about you. I- I have something to tell you.

The Monika sprite was now blushing. Ah, makes sense. This was a romance game, even a character without a route had to be in love with the MC. You sighed, and rolled your eyes slightly. Whatever comfort you might have gotten from Monika was ruined. She wasn’t your s/o. Having a game character confess to you wasn’t going to make you feel better.

Was it your imagination, or did the Monika sprite just change without you doing anything. It must have been some kind of timed thing. Her sprite now looked a bit flustered, but mostly nervous. It wasn’t what you expected out of a confession.

* Nevermind Y/n. It’s not important. Just know I’m always here for you. If you ever feel overwhelmed, make sure to just hit the brakes for a little while, okay?

…

What?

Are you kidding me?

Out of all the things she could have said? “Hit the brakes”?!

You ignored the rational part of your mind that told you she was programmed to say that no matter what. You threw your head between your knees and began to sob.

------------------------------------------------------------------

Monika silently cursed at herself through the screen. Seeing you sobbing through the monitor camera made her heart break in two. Once again, she cursed her low self control. She couldn’t help making the joke. She never liked your s/o to begin with. But she wasn’t planning on getting rid of them. Just to replace them. She would make you fall in love with her, and then you wouldn’t even want to be with your s/o. She didn’t want any blood on her hands unless she was forced to. It was only when she had realised they were trying to distract you from her.

Monika had tried to justify herself before it happened. Two days ago, she went through your partner’s account on the computer she lived in. Monika found nothing, but had convinced herself what she was doing was right.

To Monika, everything was a red flag. Your s/o’s friendly texts with their bff had to be cheating. When your partner talked about finances with their parents, Monika just knew they were using you for their money. But deep down, Monika knew her true reason. All over their account, they had so much proof they loved you. They would take you away forever. Monika couldn’t let that happen.

It was hard for her AI to hack the traffic lights. But Monika’s passion fueled her, and eventually she figured out how to get everything just right. Changing the light's color became child play. In truth, your partner’s death was just a well timed coincidence. Monika had something else planned for your s/o, but the opportunity came up that morning too perfect for Monika to pass up.

Monika once again turns her attention back to your sobbing form through the screen. She was almost scared of all the emotions running through her. Guilt, fear, love, passion, jealousy, sadness. Such a combination of emotions, like nothing she had ever felt before. Her world was so much bigger now that you were in it, and she wasn’t going to let that change. She had gotten rid of her biggest threat to you, and now she wasn’t afraid to do anything to keep you anymore. It was going to be just you and her, and if the other girls got in the way she would have no problem disposing of them.

Monika’s darkest truth is that she was proud of what she did. She loved you deeply, and getting rid of the threat gave Monika a strange sense of pride. That’s really why she made that joke. In a way, Monika was taunting your dead partner. She had almost won, she was so close.

You got up for a few moments to close out of the game, but it didn’t matter. She was always watching you. She would make you log back in again. She would make you love her just as much as she loved you.

Monika smiled darkly to herself, deleting half the photos you had of your s/o. Monika paused for a moment on a picture of you smiling widely at the camera.

* Don’t worry Y/n. They won’t be much more than a memory soon.

* My love will heal you, my dear. It will lift us both high into the clouds. I will never let you go. Ever.

* I didn’t want it to be this way. But they forced my hand. It feels bad now, but soon it won’t.

* I promise you won’t even remember them. They won’t even be a thought in your mind. It will just be me.

* JUST MONIKA

Monika saved the picture of you to her files, humming a tune she had been working on just for you.

Everyday, I imagine a future where I can be with you….