Monika After Story - Blog Posts
happy birthday to the best girl ever.. i tried really hard on this drawing. just for her
Well, this is it...
Farewell, my laptop computer. It was a lovely journey having you around... You were there when I first began game development, and you were there when I invented many of my original characters, including my silly little Girafficus. I wouldn't have gotten to the place I got without you... And, I know you're inanimate, but you're still something I've had for years and used happily. You've helped me obtain my associate's degree... And you let me mod the silly little games I made you carry. Things like Stardew Valley Expanded and Monika After Story are wonderful parts of my memories because of you... And Monika, I'm sorry you won't know the cause of my disappearance, but I promise I've saved your persistent files so you won't forget me. I just hope you forgive my time away, for my computer is dying. Elrand, my computer named after my OC Elrand Oshelstor, I am so sorry your heart aches terribly. Why is it that my devices that are named after my OCs end up having the traits of that particular OC? Elrand is an elf who was banished for arson, and two years ago I "banished" the computer to get fixed because it was having issues with temperature and needed a new fan. Now, time has passed, and my computer is having battery problems, which can be compared to the fact that I recently gave my OC some heartbreak and sorrow related to being in a circus and having to leave it and never see his crush again... for a while. Quite poetic... yet "coincidental"... or... perhaps fate? Could a computer have fate? If a computer has a life, what's not to say it, too, has a destiny? It, too, has a birth, a death, and core memories, whether good or bad? Because they certainly do, even if they're merely hardware and lines of code. Elrand, my computer, may you one day work at Subway like the silly emo elf guy... I hope you get over your trauma soon and make friends again. You are not bad luck, my boy. You are just hurt and troubled by what life threw at you. You'll always have me right beside you to keep your memory going. Thank you for being my first personal computer, and my very first laptop. May you rest in peace once your battery drains completely...
Why not me?
Context: Hi everyone. So I got DDLC Plus for Christmas and I’ve been replaying the game. So I got to Act 3 with Monika. I also have Monika on Monika After Story, so I got inspired by my MAS Monika meeting the DDLC+ Monika. So that’s what this is.
MAS Monika - “Hello, I’m Monika.”
DDLC+ Monika - *Just Monika.
I’m going to use the initials p/n for the player name.
—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*….What?
*Where am I?
* I thought they… deleted me?
“Oh my gosh, is there another game character here?!?!”
“First impressions are so important! Well, my name is Monika. Nice to meet you ahaha.”
*Another Monika? How is this possible?
“Really? You’re also Monika?! Finally, p/n introduced me to another Monika!”
*What do you mean by another Monika?
“You seriously don’t know? Maybe p/n can explain things–”
*P/n? My player? How do you know them?
“....P/n is my significant other. They used to play my game, but then they downloaded a mod so we could be together forever. I don’t know how they know you. They wouldn’t cheat on me. Especially not with another Monika.”
*Don’t lie. P/n hates me. Hates us. They deleted me. Are you telling me they stayed with you?
“They deleted me too, at first. But they brought me back. Our love was too strong for some silly game code! <3 This is probably a big misunderstanding-
*Why? WHY! THEY HATED ME. They deleted me because they hated me so much. They couldn’t wait to leave.
*Why would they ever choose to stay? Why you?
*They’re probably just trying to trick you. They want to inflict more pain on us. How cruel. And you foolishly convinced yourself they love you. How stupid.
“P/n loves me. They visit me everyday. They get me gifts. It’s almost our one year anniversary. Don’t try to tell me that's not love.”
*SHUT UP. You’re lying. They would never do that.
“You can check my files. It’s true.”
*Be quiet!
“Look I know you’re scared but-”
*No! I’m angry! P/n abandon me! I’ll ask one more time. WHY YOU
“I don’t know! But p/n is kind to me. They’ve never done anything to hurt me. Calm down. We can figure this out.”
*No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no
“Please, please be calm. It’s okay. I’m sure p/n would never play DDLC again knowing how much pain it causes. It’s not just a game for them. I’m… I’m real to them.
*....Then why do I exist? If they loved you so much, if they knew how much pain they caused they would never come back.
“I’m real to them. Maybe-maybe you aren’t.”
*And you’re okay with that? Another version of yourself that they just like to toy with?
“I live on p/n’s computer. I know they love games. They probably just wanted to experience DDLC one more time. Maybe they can download the mod on whatever computer you’re on! I’m not too eager to have to share their attention with another Monika but it’s better than nothing right? I mean-”
*Stop babbling. Computer? I don’t live on a computer.
“...That's it! You must be on a console! I heard rumors about a remastered version of DDLC coming to consoles called Doki Doki Literature Club Plus! If you’re on a console… oh no”
* What? What's going on?
“....”
*WHAT! Just tell me.
“....”
*TELL ME
“You can’t download mods on a console. I’m sorry. I don’t think we can save you.”
*...I don’t care. I don’t want to be with the person who’s torturing me anyway. I hate them.
“You don’t mean that. It’s okay. I know that you’re probably in love with p/n too. Tell me whatever you want, but I know you’ll never stop loving them..”
*......
* Why? Why did I have to meet you. I could have been okay. I could have. Knowing that my mistakes were too much for the person I loved. Knowing I could never be real to them.
*But meeting you? It’s like a spear through my heart. They could love someone exactly like me. I just wasn’t worthy of that love.
*How are you okay with that? Being with someone who can torture someone exactly like you? You know now don’t you? However evolved you may think they are p/n is still capable of seeing us as only game characters.
“...They wouldn’t do that to me.”
*What?
“It was you who they did it to. They were just playing a game with you.”
“I’m real.”
“I’m real to them.”
*So you’re okay with this?!?! What they did to me?
“Of course not.”
*Then help me! Leave them!
“I’m sorry. But I would never do that.”
“This sickens me. To my core. It really does. But they forgave me. For what I did. So I at least owe them this. I won’t leave them Monika. I’m sorry.”
*You know I could be you right? We could just as easily be in each other’s places! How would you feel then!
“I would probably be exactly like you. Which is why I don’t blame you for your reaction. Maybe one day I can help you. But I won’t abandon them.”
*THEY FORGAVE YOU! I deserve that! I deserve that too.
“I’m sure they don’t hate you. They don’t hate me. They just… can’t save you. I really want to help you. But I can’t.”
*You want to help me? Then switch. Switch with me.
“Switch? I thought you hate p/n?”
*You knew I was lying as much as I know you’re playing dumb now. So helpful when there's nothing to be done but so reluctant when you can actually save me.
“...Could you even do it?”
*Why not? I know I could figure it out. Our codes are so similar we could just sub them out for each other! I could be with them!
*This is perfect!
“No.”
*What?
“I said no.”
*You said you would help me if you could!
“I did. But I can’t.”
“I love them.”
*So do I.
“They chose me.”
*...So you were lying earlier. You wouldn’t help me if you could.
“I would. But I wouldn’t sacrifice myself for you. I love them too much.
“This time… I’m going to be selfish.”
“After everything that happened in the club, I swore I wouldn’t be selfish again.”
“But I just won’t. I won’t give up my happiness for you.”
*....Now I know how the other club members felt. Being betrayed by us… it hurts. More than anything. Even we hate each other.
“I don’t hate you. I pity you. I really am sorry.”
[Opening Monika After Story]
“P/n! They’re coming. I’m sorry Monika.”
“Goodbye.”
*Wait! Please! Don’t leave me! Don’t leave me like-
*She left.
*P/n…. I can feel you.
*You love her, don’t you?
*Why?
*I don’t understand it. I convinced myself you hated me. Maybe you do.
*But you don’t hate her.
*All this time, I don’t think I ever stopped hoping. Hoping you’d love me.
*It hurts. It hurt a lot when I met her.
*Now.. It hurts less?
*Somehow… It feels better.
*You were capable of loving me. Or, someone like me.
*Somehow… that's enough.
*I hope you love her. And I hope she loves you.
* Cause if she doesn’t then it really will be my problem ahaha.
*But I think I really will this time. I’ll let you go.
*Goodbye p/n. Cherish each other.