Mentally Tired - Blog Posts
I am chaos,
I am cursed,
I bring destruction to the table,
I ruin everything,
Everything that I have ever touched,
Everything that I have ever felt,
Everything...that I have ever loved.
Sometimes I feel like I want to get my life sort out. I want to be productive both mentally and physically.
But then I remember the regrets I have and the people I've hurt and my brain tell myself "You don't deserve to have a happy life."
Do you ever get sick? But it's not physical or mental. It's just emotionally sick.
The life and the dream in Chicago.
Death will find me dead.
Fear is long gone.
But it’s been hard to let them know that all I need now is not Lethargy, or Trazodone, or Sertraline.
I need a heart that can beat when mine is trembling, a face that can smile when mine is sad-locked, and a person who can accept that I am in a dangerous mood.
Mate, I am not writing or creating or arting any shit. Mate, I am screaming, like some have screamed while smiling, and others have screamed in circles of friends who never heard them.
What's heartbreaking is, that some don't even understand the love they demand and desire to be given and this has tremendously led to more oceans of sorrow and unbearable pain.
I have given up on everything except the believe, in thyself as if am anything special
And if you think I need help , the only kind I deserve is to understand me. I have been misconceived thus misjudged for ages am yearning for that feel, the feel to be be guessed right.
I came wounded
To the shore.
Sure, it was foolish,
To hope,
To be soothed,
To be cradled,
To know less aches;
Lighter on the waves.
But I was too wounded,
Abrasions and bruises.
Surprise! I dived! I cried!
It burns, even the ocean.