Lightning Mcqueen - Blog Posts

How do I explain to someone that I've been emotionally attached to a freaking talking race car from a 2006 Pixar movie because I relate to his themes of loneliness since I was like two-years-old

My mother gifted me a bootleg mcqueen and I'm crying over how funny it is

Because 1 - The number is 98 instead of 95

2- It's Kust-eze instead of Rust-eze

3- Transformer

It's such a shitty job😭

How do you use tape with tires???

It's a headache to even use with hands.

Best wingmen of all time🤠

*Artist is @smazzmatazz / @smazz-fanart-stuff* [click image to increase quality]

All this cost was my dignity

I'm gonna leave this here since I never got around to finishing it and gave up 💥

I'm crying

I love this frame from this deleted scene in cars 2. They’re so silly

@cars2-renaissance @gaystappen @champmorado

can be inferred as platonic but this is just fueling my towqueen fire

same energy as this one scene from ninjago

Does this have a happy ending

Because this is how I'm going to feel if it doesn't:

something for this cars au

Lightning’s mother, Marylin McQueen, was a rookie spy who was a year and a half into the job and looked up to Finn McMissile as her role model. She even got to work with him a couple of missions in her career and Finn was impressed with her skill. He saw her as his student, and he even got to meet Monty (Lightning) when he was still a baby, who unfortunately started crying when Finn tried going near him. It was then extremely tragic for Finn when he found out that she was murdered, with her infant son kidnapped by the lemons. He went to her private government funded funeral and swore that he’d someday find her lost child.

Eighteen years later, traveling to Radiator Springs with his clever assistant Holly and trusty tow truck pal Mater, the trio are tagged along by a curious, brave, compassionate, and somewhat naïve stock car they mistakenly captured from the lemon’s oil factories with striking blue eyes that look too familiar to the veteran spy. It must be a coincidence, right?

It’s only when Lightning has been taken back by the lemons and he and his colleagues are on a path straight to death, is when he realizes who he was. He’d found his mentee’s lost son, and he’s lost him again.

@y7kierre @champmorado @kaderp @orchestra-of-demonic-screeching @x0stormie0x

Favourite hobby is to watch youtubers react to Cars 1 and watch them ALWAYS go:

When Lightning can't think of anyone when Harv asks for his friend's names

Since Pixar can't go too far, (But still do to piss off Disney💀) I'm imagining it's just:

yall idea for cars 2

instead of the lemons tryna kill lightning, what if they tried (and possibly succeeded for a moment) to kidnap him?

Why was Lightning so ready to race the damn ghost

It legitimately took me a minute to realise this was a cropped screenshot from the movie

They look like tiny die-cast toys

I needed to give Francesco a phobia so he could relate with Lightning's coulrophobia in my fic.

I decided to give him anatidaephobia💀

World Grand Prix memes lmao

It's gotta be a record or something for how many times he's been hung upside down

I love how in Maters tall tales, Lightning says he doesn't believe a word of it.

But he still ALWAYS asks "What'd you do!?" because he's so engaged in the story😭

I still love the fact that Lightning still had no idea what the hell was happening during the London race in cars 2.

All he hears is bomb and he's on board with Mater like "I don't know who your new friends are, but I'm going to help you despite not knowing what I'm helping you with and only cheering you on."

Didn't do Lightning much good lmao

I actually have a list that has how many times Lightning has hospitalised in the fics I've read💀

The storyboard😭

He looks so much more deranged

When Zundapp asks Lightning "You! Why didn't my death ray kill you!?" Lightning is slowly backing away and jerks back too.

Bro, you're like 3 times Zundapp's size and can squish him in a second.

Some feral screenshots of the moment I'm talking about:

Ngl

I thought Lightning and Mater were going to get high or drunk or something and turn into humans temporarily in one of the Cars on the road episodes.

Yknow, like that scene in the good dinosaur? (But less weird)💀

So I watched way too many videos about the original plot of Cars 2.

It was so violent😭

But apparently Lightning was supposed to get tangled up with Finn while Mater and Giulia ran away together?

I just find it really funny because Finn and Lightning don't actually speak to eachother directly at anypoint in the final version of Cars 2 lmao

One of Lightning's voicelines in the cars 2 videogame is "Special agent Lightning McQueen, at your service."

But with my headcanon that Lightning is a shit spy, I'd imagine another character laughs at him whenever he says it near them.

When your watching Cars on the road and Lightning's voice switches from confident and a little bit arrogant to dilf in record time

Owen Wilson is the best

I have an old Lightning toy that is rubbery and hollow.

So basically

I can squish him in my hand like a stress ball

I get whiplash everytime I remember Mater is way older than Lightning

Wow, gotta learn how to translate Celsius into Fahrenheit so my cars fics are more believable that they take place in America.

Wait

If I don't understand Fahrenheit,

Then Lightning isn't allowed to understand Celsius

Punishing a character for my own stupidity

Lightning doesn't believe in being cringe, so you shouldn't either 😀👍

Cringe Culture has been thrown out the window, mowed down by bulldozers and it's as dead as disco.

You see, cringe culture was the kind of thing only someone who accidentally super-glued their pants to the floor would find amusing. It was so out of touch, it couldn't even pick up a WiFi signal in an Apple store. It had all the hilarity of a cat trying to play the tuba while wearing a sombrero made of cheese. Cringe culture was like a karaoke singer who thinks they're nailing it but is actually belting out the national anthem in a foreign language. It was as useful as a screen door on a submarine or a car with square wheels.

Cringe culture was that friend who always showed up to the party wearing a tuxedo and bowling shoes because they thought they were fashionable. It tried to pass off being judgmental as comedy. In the grand scheme, cringe culture was just a gummy bear in a world full of chocolate cakes-utterly toothless. It was the online equivalent of a failed magic trick where the rabbit in the hat turned out to be a dishcloth. Cringe culture peaked at lemonade stand negotiations, tragically unaware that the price was already fixed at one cute smile.

And so, a ship was born.

Look at Lightning's face💀

His dumb fucing smile after Francesco basically calls him hot is way too funny

I don't know why, but one day I decided to memorise all the WGP racers names.

This was just something I made a goal.

I just remember this fact everytime I need all their names👇

There are 11 of them, even though there are 12 spots in the mf races in cars 2.

(I repeated each of their names twenty times every day💀)

Do Lightning and Francesco have high level spy clearance then?

I understand Lightning having it but Francesco???

Bonus:

Headcanon that Lightning is shit at being a spy