regulus: james, if you didn’t sleep last night then i’m very sorry, i was thinking about you.
james, distracted by a triangle shaped grape: …the illuminati have taken over the grape industry.
james: *is laying on the floor with a clear quartz stone on his head*
james: i do not chase, i attract, what belongs to me will simply find me.
sirius: *peeks his head into the dorm room*
sirius: james, come say hi to regulus in the common room.
james: HI — IM JAMES BUT YOU PROBABLY ALREADY KNOW THAT — IM THE BEST CHASER HOGWARTS HAD EVER SEEN — I LIVE TO CHASE.
james: if you all were to write a book, what would the title be?
james: ‘reasons i’m the greatest best friend in history.’
sirius: ‘the daily struggle of being sexy.’
remus: ‘the daily struggle of living with ‘sexy’.’
regulus: ‘why adult floaties are much more of a necessity than children’s ones.’
marlene: ‘how to keep ‘em wrapped around your finger, the marlene method.’
lily: ‘how to snag the richest guy in school, co-written by: remus lupin.’
mary: ‘a guide on how to outlive all your friends.’
dorcas: ‘bagging the hottest girl alive: a fool proof 6 month plan.’
peter: ‘why i demand monetary compensation for all the nights i’ve spent in detention because of ‘sexy’.’
james: what’s the shadiest thing you’ve ever seen someone do?
remus: turn a bunch of kids into werewolves, just to start an army.
lily: being prejudiced against half-bloods and muggle borns whilst being a half-blood themselves.
sirius: try to conceive for years, then become abusive to the very kids they were dying to have.
james: o-oh, i was just gonna say nick my sweaters right after they said that their fashion sense is nothing like mine…
regulus: i never said, nor did such a thing.
james walks in on wolfstar.
james: bro, are you fucking serious?
sirius: i can confirm that i am, indeed, fucking sirius.
remus: *peeks his head out from under the covers*
remus: and i can also confirm that i am, indeed, fucking sirius.