I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the different types of spaces we hold and the ones held for us in relationships with friends, family and romantic partners. How some spaces make us feel loved unconditionally, free to express ourselves without judgement and how others can be a detriment to our overall well being.
I was thinking about Carla and Lisa’s dynamic and when it comes down to it, Carla has always held a safe space for Lisa. No matter the ups and downs they’re going through even if it’s with each other, Carla still shows up, putting herself aside to check in on Lisa, to let her vent, to let her just exist, always speaking life into her. I think unbeknownst to Lisa, with every encounter Carla was slowly chipping away the high walls she built, the loneliness she was so accustomed to.
It became starkly evident in the latest scene with them. Lisa’s heart and mind are in completely different places. Her mind was the one who ended things before they even started but her heart was the one who couldn’t stay away, who needed to see Carla the next day only to tell her again she wasn’t ready to start things. Her heart was the one who immediately rushed to the hospital after hearing about Carla and who stayed by her bedside all night into the morning, pleading with her to wake up because she couldn’t go through this again. Yet, her mind was the one who rejected coffee and taking a break, instead insisting on going to work to catch whoever did this Carla. Her heart was the one who went back to the hospital to see Carla after hearing she was awake but her mind was the one who didn’t tell her anything about her case, simply just saying I can’t say.
Ultimately, with her mind and heart continuously at war, when her back was against the wall with new news of Becky’s case, it was Carla’s safety she sought out because she knew that above all things, Carla would be there to talk, would allow her to vent and would hold a safe place for her, a place to come undone. And that’s exactly what happened. Not only did Carla provide that for Lisa but she even reaffirmed it by saying, “you can tell me anything, anytime, you know that. It’s ok.”
Carla who’s in the hospital recovering from brain surgery after burglars ransacked her factory—a mess initiated by Lisa’s daughter, who was scared Carla was taking her late mom’s place. Carla who was going to tell Lisa what Betsy had done but again put herself to the side and kept that information to herself because she knew it would push Lisa over the edge. With all of that, she still offered Lisa a safe place to just breathe.