any sort of sex positivity message that refers to its readers as “dearest perverts” is invariably going to alienate ppl who are uncomfortable with sex and sexuality, and they’re the ones who need it most. “embrace how disgusting you are” rhetoric is not going to benefit people who struggle to convince themselves that they aren’t actually disgusting
(~Sex Isn’t Always Good by queenieofaces)
What I Mean When I Say I’m Sex-Positive
I think freedom of sexuality is something that we all need and very few of us have
I think sexual pleasure is a legitimate thing to want and ethically pursue
I do not judge people for the (consensual) sex that they have or want
I will not tolerate slut-shaming
I will not tolerate hatred of people based on gender or orientation (including asexual)
I will not tolerate hatred of sex workers
I believe comprehensive, honest, non-judgmental sex education is necessary for public health and happiness
I think understanding of sexual consent—what it is, why it matters—is sorely lacking in society and crucially important
I reject preconceptions of what kind of sexuality a person should have, whether these preconceptions are based on gender, age, culture, disability, survivor status, or basically anything else
I value people’s individual freedom of choice in determining their sex lives (including the choices not to have sex)
What I Don’t Mean
Everyone should have sex
Everyone should have kinky, non-monogamous, exhibitionistic, pansexual sex
Accepting someone’s sexuality means you have to participate in it, watch them engage in it, or hear about it in detail
Nothing related to sex is ever hurtful for anyone
Feminism should be all about sex
Sex fixes everything
Coming out as LGB+ has nothing to do with sex, it’s ridiculous when straight people reply to someone coming out with something like “I don’t care what you do behind closed doors/in the bedroom” because all that does is contribute to the hypersexualization of LGB+ folks and the implication that being LGB+ is for adults only and it’s dirty and wrong and shameful. Being LGB+ isn’t NSFW and someone talking about the fact that they’re LGB+ or mentioning their partner is not taboo, it’s normal and it needs to be normalized.