Feeling Good - Blog Posts
Idk how to explain it but for some reason this makes me so happy
Warlock bath-time
So I’ve been in some of the best mental space of my life. (Atleast since I can remember) for the last few weeks.
The biggest contributor to this is that I quit drinking liquor…. I was drinking way too much and I physically and mentally started to feel it take its toll on me. I was irritable, physically felt like shit, mental cobwebs, and just generally feeling like shit Ontop of that just constantly craving my next drink.
I quit, 2 weeks ago; not cold turkey, I’m still drinking a bit of wine and beer but no where even close to what I was, which was 2 bottles a week minimum for the past several years. But I haven’t touched a bit of liquor since.
Let me tell you….. what a difference. Literally all of those negatives went away after like the 4th day and now I’m feeling so good!
In the meantime, regaining a bit of self control I also haven’t pleasured myself like a “man” since I quit the liquor….
Dont worry. I’m still having regular orgasms… which is yet another bonus to my mental state.
The “sissygasms”, gods I hate that term… but I’m at a loss for another word here, are so satisfying and leaving me in a state of bliss and clarity.
Also gradually accepting that I’ll never be a specimen of femininity, so I can either just lean back into the hyper masculine “gay man”. Or try and weave in a few strands of androgyny. Of which I’m currently leaning into the latter.
I FINALLY got some jeans that fit me so well… (American eagle).
A simple task for some, but I’ve been struggling for years to find the proper fit and length as I have a 36” inseam…. Tall gurl struggles Minor thing but feels like such a huge victory!
Really just wanted to get this out, Mostly for my own reasons of sorting things out.
Time to have a smoke, a glass of wine, and catch up on some rings of power.
Hope yall have a good night!
-Jessica
Children's books always speak the truth. Sometimes the cloud clear, and the sun peeks through just about the time your depression seems like it's going to choke you.
A few notes on indulging in media consumption
When I pay attention to what media I consume and how those make me feel, I realize some of the things I enjoy actually affect me negatively on the long run.
I enjoy listening to Miss Taylor Swift and get nostalgic about previous loves as much as anyone, but I have to realize I gain literally nothing by doing that - I only get drained.
I quite like some shows (and some high quality ones are worth watching, art puts life into perspective) but binge watching Elite will never be as valuable as sitting down to study Castillian Spanish and I have to act accordingly.
I dislike overly-dramatic tear-jerkers, victimhood-inducing news, and all types of media indirectly promoting pity parties.
Writing this as a reminder for myself, as I quite enjoy such stuff from time to time. One needs to discipline herself in terms of what she puts into her brain.
With love,
Marchesa
Gender Nonconforming Jesus: A look at art history. CW: religion, transphobia, artistic nudity, depictions of open wounds (Long post)
guys
meds be meds-ing
like who tf was gonna tell me this was how all those people without bipolar was feeling??
like i can feel emotions in a reasonable way that doesnt completely control my day and all thoughts i make??? the smallest things dont make me want to scream at people because im so frustrated???
im literally just here and i cant believe no one thought to tell me that was a way i could feel
Happy Birthday to me!
Today is my birthday
Falling on a Monday
Waking up to the joyous sun
And the morning glee of everyone
I start my day like I always do
With coffee and breakfast so I am flying through
Hovering like a balloon through the great blue
Reflecting on how much I grew
I’m thankful for all of my family and friends
For whose love forever extends
For all the loving encouragement they send
And for being with me till the very end
As the day begins to March ahead
Many happy birthday messages I have read
So many happy words that were said
If they were food I would be very well fed
The time to celebrate is here
So I promise to have no fear
Despite all the forthcoming years
I’ll March on like one of the musketeers
Today is my birthday
Though it may fall on a work day
I’ll blow out all the candles on my cake
Hoping my wish won’t just be a happy keepsake
So raise a glass for my birthday
For its a bright and joyous day
Despite growing older I won’t dismay
For I wouldn’t have it any other way
