Excerpt From A Book I'll Never Write - Blog Posts

Do you ever get that intense yearning to learn in the middle of the night? The universe, the stars, mythology, languages, art, history, culture, physics, psychology, philosophy and anything and everything you can get your hand on. It's as if knowledge becomes alive at night.

Whats you favorite fairy tale? (Essay)

My favorite fairy tale or the fairy tale that means the most to me is the Three Followers. The story of of one master and three followers who were the best of friends, until ambition, envy, loneliness, and duty took hold of the friendship they had and destroyed it. Destroying themselves in the process. This story is supposed to teach children that although these feeling do not have to be evil if you let them take a hold of you and emotions get the best of you, whatever you were trying to achieve will be beyond you reach. Something we should have thought of when the arguments began. Thought I will not go into details, this happened to my friends and I. These emotions turned our friendship that we once thought as hard as steel into tatters and shreds. We fought and blamed one another because of a desicion that was not in our control. In the end all that has left was anger, guilt, and memories of a happier time. A lot of time has passed since then, and for all that my friends did to me from verbally and physically, to the scars they gave me both literally and emotionally, I can say I have forgiven them for it. Some might think me a fool for it but if I were to stay with the anger and guilt they would have taken over me until nothing was left. I didn't want that. "The past doesn't define who you are, it just a starting point for who are going to be." I wasn't going to become a person who held grudges, never forgetting what had divided us but one who always remembers the good memories that united us. I hope that one day in the long future we will meet again, though we might not be the best of friends ever again. I hope when our eyes meet and I see not hatred or anger but nostalgia and forgiveness. I hope that day will come.

"How come I forget you when you are the only key to unlock my memories."

"If you are feeling lonely when no one is with you then holy fuck you are in bad company."

oh lover,

how I miss us

things were simple

the world wasn’t so big

we didn’t have to be anything to impress

it was just you, me, and a sky full of newly named stars

i’m sitting here in the peace of midnight

just trying to reciprocate the terrible feelings i’ve felt

never will i be able to comprehend how i felt with you

and nothing will be said about how my heart shattered when you left

all i have left is the darkness welcoming like an old friend

how beautiful is it to be lonely

whenever the air you breathe has only been touched by your lungs

the emptiness in the echo behind your screams

thoughts to be sorted in the cavern of your cranium

how beautiful is it to be by yourself

i found myself ripping out my eyelashes

blowing them off my finger

wishing that you would find yourself falling in love with me

hoping that star that i pray to every night

would take pity on me

granting my wishes true