Evan Kelmp - Blog Posts

Brennan Lee Mulligan every time he plays a PC/NPC on d20. Bro has had to actually talk about how he just thought he was playing as human of a character as possible and then pulls out fucking Evan Kelmp.

sorry if i was weird the other day i'm but a conduit for powers as terrible as they are strange

This. Just….this.

imagine you're twenty years old and one of the only adults in the world you trust asks you to go on a highly dangerous quest to help fix the thing you broke. but whoops, your ex is also here! and the two of you haven't talked since the breakup (and she's still living in the airstream you two shared) but it'll be fine! you'll be all cool! and then they straight up kill you trying to be helpful. but it's all fine! your best buds go to magical goat island and bring you back! and said magical goat teleports you to the exact island where your objective is!

and sure the two of you have a blowout fight you insist your friends are a part of. and sure boudicca is a bitch and tries to kill your ex, who you still deeply care about, but you then you kill her and tabby tells you where you can heal your ex so it's all good! and then you get there and your ex is instantly and dramatically healed by a hot overdramatic doctor, and you realize you are in an exact hell crafted for people like your ex (who you still deeply care about). and she's just getting more and more sucked into it as a said hot doctor flirts with them in front of you as you repeatedly remind them that the last time she did this shit, you literally died.

every day evan kelmp wakes up