Evan Hansen - Blog Posts
I got around to coloring the Connor Murphy sketch I did the other day, and I gave him an Evan too!
No-one Deserves To Be Forgotten
“I like you too idiot.”- Connor Murphy X Reader
Request: can u do a connor x reader where reader is being pretty annoyed with Jared on the first day (like when he calls him a school shooter) and he steps in and defends her leading timo a nice friendship and a love confession from Connor at the end? I’m sending love, and if u can’t it is really ok, everyone’s mental health is important, pls don’t feel overwhelmed 💕✨🦋- Anon
Word Count: 2,542
Warnings: A couple swears and Jared Klienman being a dick. (also Connor is probs written ooc but whatever)
Authors note: Hi everyone! First of all I just want to say thank you to everyone who requested something! I am trying to work on them but I recently fell into a really bad place mentally but I’m working on making it better. I hope to have the other requests out soon but please be patient with me. Also anon I used they/them pronouns for the reader as those are my pronouns and I want to make sure everyone can I enjoy my writing regardless of gender so I hope that okay. As always thank you for reading and I hope you have a good day/night! :) <3 (Also any feedback is very appreciated. )
First day of senior year. To say you weren’t excited would be the understatement of the century. Sure you were excited to finally get out of your hometown but you had to get through the school year first and if the previous years were any indication of how this year was going to go, well lets just say it's going to be a long year.
You pulled into the student parking lot in your shitty car and saw there were a couple extra minutes before you actually had to be in the building, With that in mind you decided to just put your head down on the steering wheel for a few minutes to prepare yourself for the day ahead.
That peace was short lived though because not even 30 seconds later did a dark truck pulled up next to you. Before the car could even come to a stop Zoe Murphy flew out of the passenger seat. She flipped off the driver, who you presumed was her brother Connor, and slammed the door before storming off into the school. “Jesus” you mutter to yourself. Then another door slammed and Connor Murphy appeared in front of the truck, talking and gesturing wildly to himself. You could only make out bits and pieces of what the boy was saying before he went into the school like his sister. You heard him say something about his mom and his bitch sister and not even wanting to be there. Well at least you weren't alone in the feeling. Following the Murphy siblings you begrudgingly went into the building. The friendly secretary greated you and handed you your schedule which had your locker number on it. After searching for a few minutes you found it and just as you were starting to put things in your locker you heard his voice, Jared Klienman. He was talking to Evan Hansen and you prayed to whatever higher being that could hear you that he would leave you alone. Unfortunately that wasn’t the case.
“Well, well, well if it isn’t L/N.” You could practically hear the shit-eating grin he had on his stupid face. You were about to turn around and tell him to go away but before you could someone comes between the two of you blocking Jared from your view.
“Fuck off Klienman” says the last person you expected, Connor Murphy.
“Woah calm down Murphy, I’m just trying to have a conversation with Y/N here” Jared says starting to back up and putting his arms up as a way of showing his surrender.
“Well they obviously don’t want to talk to you. Now get out of here before I punch that stupid smirk off your dumb face,” Connor says squaring off his shoulders in an attempt to look even more intimidating than usual. It worked quite well because Jared was practically running off but not before making a dig at Connor.
“Yeah whatever you fucking freak.”
You saw Connor’s shoulders tense and his hands clenched into fists. You didn’t know what to do but figured it would be best to leave the boy alone, so you just fidgeted with your hands. He took a deep breath then turned to face you.
“Uhm thanks for that. You really didn’t have to,” you say avoiding eye contact with him, which was quite easy considering how tall he was compared to you.
“No problem, I know how much of a dick Klienman can be.”
“Yeah he’s the worst,” you say scoffing lightly. Then the bell signaling you were supposed to be in homeroom rang.“See you around Connor. Thanks again,” you say before turning to shut your locker and rush to class.
“Yeah see you around,” Connor says to no one because you were already down the hall.
The rest of the day wasn’t much better, nothing happened in particular but it just still wasn’t the best. After what felt like an eternity it was finally the last bell of the day, creative writing. You weren’t particularly interested in writing but you had a bell to fill so you figured why not. When you walked in you did a scan of the room and saw Connor, he had an empty seat next to him at the back of the room so you decided to sit it in. “Hey,” you say, startling the boy who was previously staring into space.
“Oh hey.”
“Thanks again for this morning, I really appreciate it dude,” you say making eye contact with Connor so he would know you actually meant what you were saying.
“Oh yeah, it was nothing. Don’t worry about it,” he says, giving you a small smile. You smiled back just as your teacher walked in which caused the conversation to end.
“Good afternoon class! I hope all of your days have been tolerable,” says your teacher Mr. Davidson. He was a younger man in his early 30’s which meant everyone liked him including you. “Instead of doing an ice breaker where you all lie about how interesting your summers were I want you to get to actually get to know someone in this class a little better,” he says from behind his podium at the front of the class. You were starting to panic a little, who were you going to partner up with? None of your kind of friends were in this class! Then Connor cleared his throat grabbing your attention.
“Hey Y/N, wanna be partners?” The nervous energy was practically radiating off the boy. You breathed a sigh of relief.
“Sure Connor.” The two of you then got up and turned your desks to face each other like the other pairs were doing. “So Murphy what’s your deepest darkest secret?” you say, smirking.
“Woah L/N, not even going to ask me my favorite color or anything?” he says chuckling.
“Okay, okay, fine,” you say playfully rolling your eyes. “What’s your favorite color Connor?”
“Dark green. What about you L/N? What's your favorite color?”
“Y/F/C,” you say. “It’s been my favorite since I was younger,” you say shrugging.
“I respect that. It’s a good color.”
“Yeah whatever, now can I hear your deepest secret?”, you say almost like a child.
“Wow you’re still on this?”, he says with amusement evident in his tone.
“Yeah I am!” you say in a mock seriousness. “Mr. Davidson says we are supposed to actually get to know each other and that’s what I’m trying to do Murphy!”
“You’re absolutely right Y/N,” he says suddenly very serious.
“Okay fine I’ll tell you but you have to swear you won’t tell anyone.
“Not a soul,” you say staring at him intently and sitting at the edge of your seat.
“Well, here goes nothing.” He made eye contact and it felt as if he was staring into your soul. “I’m pregnant.”
You maintained eye contact until you actually processed what he said, then the two of you started laughing which caused the rest of the class to turn and look at you but for once you didn’t even care because you were actually happy for the first time in what felt like forever.
The rest of the class went by faster than you or Connor wanted it to, but the two of you walked out to the student parking lot together and paused when you reached your cars. “Uh see you tomorrow I guess,” you say but it comes out as more of a question.
“Yeah see you tomorrow Y/N”, Connor says very confidently which surprised you both. You waved as a final goodbye and got into your cars. As you were driving home you thought about all the awful things you heard about Connor in the past and how untrue they were. Sure he was intimidating at first glance but he’s six feet tall for goodness sake who wouldn’t be intimidated by that. You could tell from the short class period you spent getting to know him that he was simply misunderstood. Suddenly you were glad you never listened to what all the popular kids said about Connor.
As the school year went on you and Connor developed a sort of unspoken ritual, you would wait for Connor to get to school then you two would walk to homeroom together and then walk to your cars when the school day was over. The two of you became good friends and you found yourself actually looking forward to waking up in the morning so you could see him. The pair of you had hung out outside of school a few times and you had actually met Connor’s mom, granted it was an accident but it still happened.
You and Connor decided to hang out at his house because his family wasn’t home that afternoon, the two of you were lounging on the couch watching some weird movie when you heard the front door open. “Connor dear? Is that you in there?” Suddenly an middle aged woman with red hair appeared with reusable grocery bags in her hands.
“Mom?!” Connor jumped up from the couch in a panic. “I thought you had yoga today?!”
“Class was canceled because Cindy wasn’t feeling well. Oh I stopped by the store and got those snacks you asked for!” she said coming into the living room box in hand. “Oh? Connor, who's your friend?” she said with a small smile appearing on her lips.
“Hi Mrs. Murphy. I’m Y/N,” you said nervously.
“Oh call me Cynthia dear,” she said, shooting you a smile.
After that Cynthia invited you to stay for dinner but you already had plans with your parents that night. She invited you a couple times after that as well. You never actually went cause Connor didn’t want you to but still it was nice to know she liked you enough to invite you to dinner.
As fall came to a close the two of you became attached at the hip, constantly talking to one another whether it was in person or through the phone. Once the holiday season rolled around you guys got each other gifts. You got Connor a signed book from his favorite author and he got you a vinyl you had been wanting for a while.
Once the holiday break was over the end of the first semester came quickly and you couldn’t wait to finally be done with your half year courses and start the new ones. Unfortunately you had to take finals before you could be done. Although you only had two finals you were still extremely stressed out. Sure they were easy classes but the teachers were notorious for giving impossible finals. You spent the few days before the finals studying whenever there was a free moment. Connor knew you were stressed so he helped you the best he could. He offered to have study sessions even though none of his classes had finals, he went over quizlets on video calls, and he even brought you a drink with way too much caffeine on the mornings he knew you didn’t sleep.
Once the day arrived he texted you good luck. You went into the first test and totally nailed it. Before the next testing time there was a break and when you checked your phone you saw Connor had texted you telling you how proud he was of you for studying so hard and reassuring you that you had these exams in the bag. You sent him a quick “thank you :))” and went into the testing room for the second time. This exam was a little harder than the last but you still thought you did decent. There were a couple times where Connor and his stupid mneumonic devices actually came in handy. Letting out a giant breath of relief as you stepped out of the testing room you couldn’t wait to tell Connor about how much he helped. When you reached your locker and got your phone out of it you saw Connor had asked if you wanted to hang out when you were done. Obviously you said yes and told him to pick you up at your house in 15. You drove home and changed out of your testing outfit which was just sweatpants and a hoodie and put on something a little more presentable. Sure you were just going to hang out with your best friend but he also is the boy you’ve been pining over for months. You’ve always found Connor attractive and when he put dickhead Klienman in his place that made him all the more hot. But then you really got to know him and you fell. Hard. He was sweet, caring, smart, and funny. Sure he had his moments but so did everyone on the planet. He had actually opened up to you about his struggles with his mental health and you did everything you could to support him. You encouraged him to ask his parents for therapy, and always made sure he took his meds in the morning. You were there for him and he was always there for you.
You were pulled out of your thoughts when you heard the horn of Connor’s truck outside your house. You rushed outside and got into the passenger seat, “So where to Murphy?”
“I was thinking we could get some food and just chill in a parking lot somewhere. Sound cool?”
“Definitely. I’ve missed hanging out with you. Stupid finals,” you say with a dramatic eye roll.
“Yeah I’ve missed hanging out with you too dork,” he says reaching over the center console and ruffling your hair.
“Connor Murphy! I just brushed my hair and here you go messing it up!” you say while trying to fix your now disbelieved hair.
“Whatever L/N. It still looks fine to me.” Although it was barely a compliment, heat still rushed to your cheeks. He pulled out of your driveway and the two of you were off. On the way to get food you guys caught up talking about everything you missed in the world of Connor because you were too focused on finals. He told you he finished a TV show you recommend and loved it. You made it to the drive through and Connor ordered, already knowing what you wanted from your many midnight outings. Once you got your food you made your way to the plaza parking lot where the restaurant was located. For the first couple minutes the two of you sat in a comfortable silence listening to the playlist Connor had made for this type of occasion. After a few minutes Connor suddenly spoke, “Can I tell you something?”
“Connor dearest you know you can tell me anything,” you say with a french fry in your mouth, not even bothering to look at him.
“I like you.” You choked on the fry you had in your mouth.
“Pardon?” you say through a cough.
“I said I like you,” he says, a little less sure of himself. When you looked over at Connor you saw he was staring straight ahead.
“Hey Connor.”
“Mhm,” he says, not daring to move.
“Look at me.” He just barely turned his head towards you. “I like you too idiot.”
hi all! i want to write but i have no inspiration so i’ve decided to start taking requests! i’m only going to be writing for my boy connor murphy B) . so if you have requests please send em, but please no smut as i am a minor! also if you do send a request please be patient with me as i am still in highschool which means i have a lot of work to do and it is especially hard because most of it is online. also thank you for all the support on my previous fics it means the entire world to me!! anyways have a fantastic day/night! <3 :)
After a long what hears my final list on the staging changes/additions for my dear even hanson rewrite. this is the final bit if prewriten stuff I have for this rewrite I will still regularly be updating on changes and additions I crest for this project. Updates just wont be as bulky as thay have been. hope you all how are reading this injoy
Staging changes
Conner is always on stage when evan is whether it be in the background or right next to him depends on the scene
The only time conner ever communicates is when he's singing
As the story goes on evans wears more of conners style of clothes
Perhaps during a drug said clothing is removed by Conner being replaced by his normal attire as he kisses his forehead places the close in evans hands and calmly walks off stage finally moving on maybe leaves small jewelry piece, like BFF bracelet or necklace bc he'll always be part of himl
During the last song you will be found conner dose make an appearance but as he walks back onstage but he is now wearing pale white colors bathed in a gentle light for he is no longer a ghost haunting a past friend he is a guardian angel protecting the man he loves
Ok so to start out his rewrite. Lets me start by list my currently planed story changes (note this arent final and is may add and or edit this changes feel free to give me your own ideas and comments on your own ideas
Story change's
* Conner and even are childhood friends/ boyfriends
* No more love plot between evan and conners sister
* The charade is more of a collabe between conner and evan
* Even gets a lot more flack for the charade
* Evan blames himself a lot more for conners death
* Evan tries to help Conner by making an in depth feel good letter but accidentally gives him an insulting joke. Letters he made During lunch with some friends
* It is unclear in the scene set up if the letter is actually involved in the suicide and is an ongoing mystery in the show if conners death was evans letters fault or if hes death was unavailable
* Even ends up doing drugs
Near the end of the story ether right after or very close to before evan is revealed as a lie evan takes a massive dose were the talks with conners gost who gives him a pep talk through song.
* As the story goes on evans wears more of conners style of clothes
* Perhaps during the drug scene said clothing is removed by Conner being replaced by his normal attire as he calmly walks off stage finally moving on maybe leaves small jewelry piece, like BFF necklace or bracelet bc he'll always be part of him
My Thoughts On Evan’s Actions In Dear Evan Hansen
Spoiler Warning For Dear Evan Hansen
I’m personally sympathizer for Evan Hansen. I understand why he acted the way he did and lied, even though I don’t agree with actions.
I know most people are mad at Evan for lying about Connor. What Evan did was wrong, it’s wrong to give a family false hope about their son who they had just lost to suicide. It’s wrong to lie about someone who passed away.
You can say “I would never do that, ever.” but remember Evan Hansen isn’t you.
Evan’s a neurodivergent, anxious, depressed, suicidal, lonely kid, he’s also scared of public speeches and talking to others in general.
He didn’t have any friends either. Even Jared only thought of Evan as a “family friend”.
So when he talked to Connor, even though it was very brief, and Connor shouted at him, when Connor signed his cast he might’ve thought they were friends. So losing one of the only people who somewhat treated him as a friend, hurt him so much.
He didn’t want to lie about Connor. When he was first given the letter by Connor’s parents, he wanted to tell them the truth.
But he couldn’t. He was anxious and nervous so he panicked, as a result he lied out of panic.
He didn’t want to hurt Connor’s parents by lying to them, he didn’t mean to or want to lie to them, but he lied out of panic.
He didn’t want to hurt them even more by telling them the truth, that their son didn’t write anyone a letter or any note before committing suicide.
When Connor’s family asked him about Connor and Evan’s friendship, he didn’t want to lie but he didn’t want to upset them any further. That’s why he lied.
Also, having a fake, imaginary, overly romanticized friendship with someone, even if that person had passed away, made him feel less lonely and alone. Evan never had a close friend and neither did Connor, he didn’t want to tell Connor’s parents, Connor didn’t have any true friends and him and Connor weren’t really friends. He didn’t want Connor’s parents to become even more sad by telling them Connor wasn’t really friends with anyone and was all alone.
Evan didn’t want to lie while giving his speech about Connor either. But he was once again anxious and nervous so he panicked and lied out of panic. This time he had so many people in front of him and cameras surrounding him, he didn’t want to upset so many people by telling the truth so he lied, hoping that would make things better.
The situation was like a double ended sword for Evan. Lying to people would be wrong, and he knew that, but it wouldn’t hurt them as much if he told them the truth, and if they didn’t found out the truth they wouldn’t be as devastated.
I’m not defending Evan’s actions, what he did was wrong. I’m not saying being a neurodivergent, anxious, depressed, suicidal, lonely kid is an excuse for his actions.
But when you think about all this from Evan’s perspective there are explanations for his lies.
I’m just saying, Evan didn’t want to hurt people, but he didn’t really know how to help them so he thought lying would work, and it worked until it didn’t.
In the end, Evan realized his mistakes and owned up for them, he didn’t make excuses for them, he apologized and tried to make things better even though the damage had already been done, he tried his best to make things better.