Entry - Blog Posts
250525
Nothing much today, cramping, stayed home with kid, had to tend after kid, we took a nap together tho. I LOVE period cramps 😍🔫
230525
Today was very productive actually, I'm 80% complete with the project. Anddddddd I'm going back to writing too :D.
I ate the pancakes I made at midnight for breakfast, they were yum as usual :p.
Stuff I consider productive that I did today:
I cleaned my email inbox.
Unsubscribed from random sites I forgot about.
I took 3 coding lesson practices, which lasted a good chunk of my day.
Deleted books and videos that I had saved and I enjoyed but I would actually cry if anyone came across them. This is an attempt to quit that stuff.
Curated podcasts to listen to (I forgot that podcasts on Apple were free).
I downloaded classic books to replace the old ones.
Read and learned about art history instead of doomscrolling or watching the videos I want to keep away from.
Put 1.5hrs to study italian 😝
Tell me why it's 1 AM, and I just made pancakes for breakfast in advance while listening to this song on repeat. Even as I eat one pancake on my bed, I am still listening to this ear candy.
220525
Great now I have to think of other courses to take urghhh🙄. Other than that I've made progress with my baby cherub (ehem, passion project) I'm in that stage of contemplating everything I've written 🤣ha ha...
I think something is wrong with me, coz why did I eat 2 dinners smh... See this is why you shouldn't eat dinner early, coz I made a different meal 2 hrs after the first one coz I got munchies 😒. And look, I usually stop at one, duhhh.. But my mouth felt bored today I guess, anddd I have discipline... Maybe its coz I fasted, oh well.
Thinking of making pancake batter rn, or may be even making pancakes for tomorrow so I don't wake up to make them 💔
Anyways, gn.
210525
Mom's birthday!!! I sent her something for mothers day plus her birthday last week :)
A painting I put my soul into, nothing less for mum<3
I've always thought of her as purple💜
Otherwise, nothing much today; I drew a lot, reminisced about childhood and my mom's love, and I'm halfway done with the painting I showed a day before. I did more writing for a proposal for my passion project; hopefully, I'll share it soon with you guys. ☺️
200525
:0 the date 2005!
Today I tried to complete the painting I started yesterday, but ehh, will finish tomorrow once I get over the overthinking phase.
I did pilates as usual today, and I'm seriously thinking about actually going ahead with signing one of the 2 modelling contracts offered to me, but my mom won't let me 💔but I want to take it (modelling) seriously urghhhh.
Idkkk, and I should actually finish with the uni stuff, idk idk idkkekjskaksvdndksksk I did NOT plan to be alive to experience this moment oh my gooooddddddddddd😖
180525
Today, not much happened. I babysat the whole day, helped with 2 posters for an assignment, baked thumbprint jam cookies 😻, and had my hair done in cornrows. Overall, it was a decent day, to be honest. Now I'm tucked in my blanket, all giddy and filled with warmth. I ate the last batch at the top that got scorched, don't worry 😭.
I know I just posted this, but writing that made me feel so eerily calm that I got scared for a second, I hear the constant ringing of the night and quiet, the occasional chirps of crickets or other living things I probably don't know about. No music blasting in my eardrums from trying to drown everything to feel functional, just the reassuring sound of snores coming from the room next to mine, my ringlight casting a dim warm light in my room, my blanket feels just as warm it feels silly to have my heater in the room. I feel aware, and I'm loving it.
Please, angels in the four corners of my bed, don't take this feeling away.
170525 (yes these are my old pics)
Passion project...
I think I outdid myself yesterday lol, but it was worth it, I just missed the sanctuary of my bed toooo much after those 2 hrs I spent eating, musing, and drawing in public. Today I tried to search 4 unis, the one I was eyeing needed A level results, and wellll..... I cant provide them, and they don't offer bridging courses to their diplomas, infact all their diplomas need A level certs lol. Idk if I can call another uni to ask some stuff tomorrow but I'll try (oops I procrastinated abit too hard-don't learn that from me)
I have been thinking of my passion project lately, and I want to make it real instead of a silly little idea in the back of my mind that I use to distract myself when pressure becomes overwhelming. I even have a pre-project idea for it. If I had half the enthusiastic audience (my angels x) I have here but on TikTok, I think I would've started already and have much support and encouragement to bridge to the actual big project :')
So yeah, I've been brainstorming and pouring my soul into it for years; it keeps beating harder as my skin thickens and my heart feels more alive.
Maybe one day I'll share my plans with you guys, and if Tumblr isn't only about the teens in this mess of life together, then maybe it will become something big and real.
160525
Today I went to the mall, got groceries, and got a cheescake n milk for myself to indulge in 😼, so I sat at the benches and ate to my fill, it was like a solo date honestly, I did sudoku, I drew half-heartedly yet felt full, and read abit. Came back home, cleaned my room, made myself an avocado milkshake, danced to some tunes and I'm watching YOU as I type this. Now I'm going to stretch, take a shower and tuck myself into my freshly made bed :3.
150525
Project research, planning, university searching, contemplating life, back to project, cut myself some shorts from jeans I don't wear, planning on what to do with the scraps, organise my dresser, vc with BFF, now to bed
130525
Need to be my mc since yesterday, she's gorge I wanted her more than matthias 😻😼
Yes I play interactive games like THTH, episodes and choices or wtv AND LADS<3. What else was i gonna say bout it.... Speaking of, I should get episodes again, I'm done with too hot to handle already 😝.
It’s All About Perspective:
Sometimes, all it takes is a quarter turn.
That dried paint blob: smeared, ugly, accidental — can become a dancing figure with big shoes, a biker, an abstract expression, if you just tilt it. And what if your life is the same? What if you’re not broken, lazy, or lost, but simply looking at your own story from the wrong side?
We’ve all been there. Hair greasy, phone hot from hours of scrolling, a million open tabs and zero opened dreams. You’re rotting in bed, flicking from one TikTok to another, laughing, then crying, then dissociating, watching other people live out the things you swore you’d do. It’s addicting. Comfortable. Even aesthetic. "Girl rot" became a moodboard, for Christ's sake but no one tells you that staying there too long leaves you hollow.
But here’s the truth, my dear angels: you’re not the paint blob. You’re the hand turning the page. You decide the angle.
So how do you shift perspective when everything feels heavy? When life is a loop of doomscrolls, late-night existential spirals, and the occasional burst of fake motivation?
You start slow. You start small. You turn the page.
Maybe I'll post something about this topic tomorrow :)
120525
Sore morning, ovulating high, oats, mall walk, sardine sandwich, curation, hair wash, new kdrama, to bed
110525
Airport, goodbyes, playlist, songmaking
100525
Today was an eventful day :D! I played dress up to 2014 diet Pepsi party songs, went out, and stumbled across a free flower arrangement class, and I got to take my own bouquet home!!!! >.<!
Today was really good, life has meaning outside of bedrotting and doomscrolling, go out and find something to do, you'll find joy, relaxation and dopamine from activities you'd usually never bat an eye at!
Since I'm having a good day, here's a cool-ish and fun face reveal (might delete later)
Bonus 🩵
040525
Brah, nothing much today as usual, I think I can even predict tomorrow accurate I'm not even joking. I'll wake up groggy, do my skin routine, either decide to fast longer, just take tea or coffee, or make a proper breakkie for myself, which is usually oats or like eggs and wtv.
I'm prepping to do a evening stretch or perhaps workout before bed actually.
Im getting nowhere with this drawing lol. Maybe I should test out my new pencils!
The answer to the previous poll was actually the Follicular Phase. The oat cookies really threw most of you off and made you choose the Luteal Phase, but I mentioned more Follicular activities than Luteal. That's my bad. OK, I'm done; my will to do the exercise is stronger than ever!
030525
Today I ate kale, made myself a really ugly salad... Soooo not pictured lol, my skin is doing better - something seems to be wrong but I'll be just fine. Tho I didn't have time to exercise I did feel like it, maybe I should squeeze a stretch before bed to satisfy that craving. I also made some oat cookies :D!!!! And had quite the productive conversation with my best friend
May is here
Today went out tried to sketch no motivation, nothing interesting really.
Ok but can we talk about how different each phase of the menstrual cycle feels?? like you’d think it’s just “period = sad” but no babe, it’s a whole seasonal shift in your body every month.
bleeding days? emotional fog. kind of dreamy, kind of raw. i wanna disappear and reappear as a wiser version of myself.
then suddenly i’m glowing?? follicular phase hits and i’m making playlists, plotting my entire life, falling in love with strangers on the street.
ovulation? don’t talk to me i’m the sun. i could seduce gods. i’m flirty, social, magnetic, and fully convinced i’m that girl, Angel!
but then luteal phase slaps me with a cosmic “slow down.” i start overthinking, wanting to delete my whole internet presence, (the amount of times I've deactivated my insta is crazy) crying over a tiktok of a dog getting a new toy or that one guy who lost is mom, held her funeral pic with his dad, then the next slide is him holding his dad's funeral pic, that devastated me, this phase makes the world feel loud.
and the wildest part? it’s predictable. it’s a cycle. we’re not crazy, we’re syncing with an inner calendar nobody taught us how to read.
there’s so much i wanna say on this. like how to work with your cycle instead of fighting it. how to rest, create, reflect, and thrive depending on the phase you’re in. but i’ll save all that for the full post.
just wanted to say: you’re not lazy, moody, clingy, or cold. you’re probably just in a different phase. and that deserves softness, not shame.
x
290425
Woke up with a bad start but sleeping with a good ending tonight. Here's a 1min vid I just finished editing; the snacks were yummerz regardless.
Please ignore the split second in the intro when the frame wasn't showing.
I have 2 fashion posts in my notes, but now I have nowhere to post them because I got kicked out for some reason. 😭 I was very much on topic, and I swear I had 2 upcoming posts; it was even in my May goals. 💔
Sigh
#imissmyfuturewithfashionelle
Is it a rebrand AM I BLOCKED HELP
240425
Birthday was a blast, legs tired asf tho... Got sleep rn. Had loads of fun with my best friend who showed up and helped despite ha ving a paper tomorrow, sooooooo grateful for her.
Istg if I find pics of my shitty facepaint on xhs I'll kms 😭
2302425
Today was a sorta fun day, got my fav on live today, cooked delish dinner and made some balloon animals in prep for tomorrow (incase you missed it, I'm gonna be a clown for a BD party and there's gonna be a ton of kids lol)
I legit couldn't stop laughing while making the balloons, the squeaky sounds had me crying they're just too funny 😭😭😭. I manage to make a doggy and a teddy bear, gonna try and make others to just a feel for them... Debating on using acrylic as MY face paint so that I won't budge.
Anyway that's it x.
220425
Coming up with a new plan that won't have to wait for May. Did nothing much, had an early breakfast and decided not to fast lol, I need to write something for substack and check my applications statuses. I was pressured to apply to unis today, but tbh I didn't think I'd be alive at 19 to even make such a decision lol. I want to bit study in the country I am currently residing in, I'd live to go abroad, I meannnn, I'm not studying Italian for shits and giggles lol... Urgh idk I'm watching The truth on Netflix rn, it's interesting kinda the same like million dollar secret.
These pics are the vibe of my day :p
210425
Woke up late, didn't work out, spent the day on tiktok and binging House m.d. Gonna finish my friends gift tomorrow tho, coz I had a new idea to add lol.
Oh, yesterday I did a clown makeup look:
In a few days I'll be a clown for my little cousins birthday and I'll do face paints for the kids too. I should prolly learn some party tricks tho.
I wanna do this other looks maybe, don't want kids to be scared of me as a clown 😭
160425
Made French toast for breakfast today. I know I said I'd fast to 3pm but I had French toast calling me in my SLEEP, but I compensated by eating dinner early to fast early #girlmath.
I've been searching for and about cassettes all day, I need one, someone donate a box of cassettes and a portable cassette player plz 😫 pretty plz 💔.
Also that drawing is the closest thing you'll ever get to see of my actual face, it's incomplete but that basically how I look like :)
Someone force me to study Arabiccc 😭
Today's lunch was lentils and rice, made myself an avocado milkshake with my own twist. I added avocado, milk, sugar, coffee, crushed chia seeds, moringa power, and the most stupid but addictive addition was cerelac 😭
Did nothing much today except spend an hour cooking and looking at my wip art piece.
080425
This user in a nutshell.
(I don't smoke... Yet)
220325
A modelling community invited me to join teehee 💞
Did nothing much today except respond to messages about modelling castings etc, was a slow day, thinking of entering a fasting and exercising run again.
Idk what else to add... Hmm... I love YouTube, OK bye?
180325
Made my hair! Love the twists🙇🏾♀️
I did half of my sudoku puzzle of the day, mostly binged Lucifer while on Pinterest #pip #andriod, and did nothing much except sit from 3 to 8 pm and do my hair.
I could do a face reveal but I don't know 🫣.
130325
I NEED TO MAKE A BD GIFT FOR SOMEONE HELP😃😭 BIRTHDAY IS IN 3 DAYS BUT STILLLLLLL, I'M THE TYPE TO GIFT HANDMADE STUFF💔💔BUT I CANT FOR THE LIFE OF ME FIGURE OUT WHAT TO CREATE
Today was boring, oh but the shower I took hit different today for some reason, went out of the house in like a month, if you don't count the market visits (those are in my circle so it's no different and feels home)
I look at this pic when I feel sad and remember how it tasted.
OH EM GEE WAIT, YOU KNOW THAT GUMBALL SOUND GOING VIRAL RIGHT NOW, I KEEP LAUGHING MY AHH OFF WHEN I SEE VIDEOS USING THE SOUND
I CANT STOP LAUGHING HELP MEE 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
EVEN GUMBALLS ACTUAL FACE IN THAT EPISODE TAKES ME OUT 😭😭😭