cold air hits my lungs and i finally feel alive again.
i saw all the stars tonight. dozens of miles away from harsh city light. i can only dream to be as beautiful as them.
i have bookshelves of dreams. all dying to be the one i choose to live out.
am i giving my life away to a dream that may never happen?
i stopped pretending you were mine today. or that you ever were.
my biggest dreams couldn’t match the life we’re going to build together.
i feel safe and soft in your arms.
you at mine. and if the sun sets for the last time today, i will be happy knowing you are mine.
i long to be simple minded.
i can tell he’s mine because he whispers my name every night just before he falls asleep.
they can keep their guys, because him. he’s mine.
”your hair gets curly when are in love aliza, and i know those curls weren’t there before”
i take a deep breath in the mirror and think about how different i am now.
i look forward to the darkness and the quiet. even though i am scared of it, that is the only time i feel something.
another valentine’s day without you is another year of melancholy.
you’ve ruined my life. i will say i love you until i am hoarse. i will kiss you until my lips are raw. i will cry for you until i cry a river. i will hold you until my arms can no longer hold themselves up. i will miss you until the sun sinks into the sky for the final time.
i am always short on words when i feel immensely.
nothing. i feel nothing.
come back soon. to the girl you destroyed.
i find space to heal in the margins, in quiet afternoons, and in hugs from people i love.
i am a skeleton walking, for you have stolen my heart.
i am too full of life for this town. far too ambitious and far too wise. my dreams can’t materialize here.
i would fight for centuries to get my old self back.
as the clock hit midnight last night, i became new and pure. but in the few hours since i woke this morning, i have already been tainted.
all that changed this year was my temper. i am now always terribly angry.
why am i judged for wanting a husband? i don’t want to settle and have ten children, i just want someone who loves every bump, curve, and blemish of me.
today i watched a video from my ring camera of you smashing my potted plants. the ones you gave me.
i would much rather stay inside to do my skincare than go out and party all night. why does that make me a villain?
how tragic it is, that my own brain poisons itself.
i wish you were laconic. you aren’t. you just don’t care.