Dbt Skills - Blog Posts
Hi, I hope you dont mind me asking you, but do you know anything about agoraphobia caused by avpd? Bc I have avpd and am increasingly becoming more and more scared to leave the house, I cant go to school and yet I have to. Im not sure what to do
Hi there! Sure, I’ll share what I’ve figured out.
What is agoraphobia?
This word is often used for “anyone who doesn’t leave their house.” But it’s actually connected to panic disorder. It’s about avoiding panic attacks, or places it’s hard to escape from – where panicking would be especially rough.
People with agoraphobia feel unable to deal with (or cope with, or ride out) their panic and anxiety. Which is why instead, they try to prevent the attacks by avoiding triggers – staying at home.
So here’s how agoraphobia and Avoidant Personality Disorder are linked.
1. They both rely on avoidance, to the exclusion of any other coping mechanism.
Uncomfortable emotions – fear for agoraphobia, shame for AvPD – get the same solution every time: Avoidance. Anytime we feel bad, we avoid more.
If this goes unchecked, all other coping mechanisms gradually fall away and are forgotten. At first, avoidance seems like the only choice that works; later it seems like the only choice that exists.
This is how people get stuck.
2. They both involve anxiety reinforcement due to avoidance.
In short: The more you avoid something, the more you’ll fear it.
This is a huge part of basically all anxiety issues; it’s why anxiety tends to get worse and worse. Here’s a link (TW for eating disorder mention).
If you avoid something for long enough, doing it feels scary, even if it wouldn’t have been scary otherwise. (Ask me how I know!)
This anxiety builds fast, as soon as you start avoiding something. But luckily, when you start doing the thing again, it decreases quickly too.
3. They both result in withdrawing from the outside world.
There’s a definite tendency to stay at home – for AvPD, too. Why?
I think people feel more able to cope with things, when they’re at home:
There’s no extra embarrassment, no need to hide how upset you feel.
Access to most or all of your best coping resources (like distractions).
(for agoraphobia) Fewer adrenaline triggers – the arousal of your nervous system, which is interpreted/experienced as panic.
(for AvPD) Fewer situations where someone will try to connect with you, risking visibility and rejection.
So when you leave home, you have fewer coping resources to use, and you get more stressors to deal with.
4. They’re both about protecting yourself from an uncontrollable emotional experience.
With both disorders, there’s this terror of being defenseless to your emotions.
People with agoraphobia feel helpless to control their anxiety and panic.
People with AvPD feel helpless to control their shame when criticized.
There’s no way to buffer or shield yourself from what you’re experiencing.
You’re at the mercy of your emotions – they seem out of control.
Being unable to trust your emotions is actually traumatic. That’s why in therapy, one of the things people learn is how to cope with and tolerate their feelings. (DBT specializes in this! Here are some basic lessons.)
Components to think about:
Reliance on just avoidance, rather than a flexible variety of coping skills
Neglect of other coping skills, and other areas of your life/identity
Inertia due to anxiety reinforcement (more avoidance = more fear)
Stuff that seems to help:
Learn how to deal with your feelings. If you can, find someone who will teach you DBT, or study it on your own.
In particular, learn to cope with anxiety. For instance:
breath and relaxation practices,
“worst result, best result, most likely result” reasoning,
planning and preparing for likely outcomes,
reframes: “Today I am practicing. No matter what happens, I’m going to learn something from it. So even showing up is a win.”
Find and try lots of different coping techniques. Experiment!
But – you don’t have to choose the perfect method. Often, what helps you get clarity is the act of stopping to do some self-care.
Identify what your big stressors are.
Look for any adjustments or tools to make it more bearable.
Set aside time, before and after, for self-care.
Start observing yourself.
Don’t judge, just take notes about your reactions to things. There’s no good or bad data – it’s all just useful.
This is especially hard but especially helpful during a crisis. It gives you something to do & focus on – so you don’t feel as helpless.
Getting out of the house is so, so difficult when it’s something you haven’t done in a while. I’m in the same boat, and I’m still figuring it out myself.
Hopefully this gives you some clues about what you’re facing & what you need!
Much love <3
Having flashbacks to DBT therapy but all good
Yall my therapist gonna be so proud of me I actually used my crisis survival skills 🙌
therapy resources / schema therapy / dbt/dialectical behaviour therapy / internal family systems / meditation / c-ptsd etc. resources
this is a link to my personal google drive, it has lots of dbt stuff, some random other resources that either i or my friends have found helpful incl. DID/OSDD/dissociation resources, & some handouts from a personality disorder program i did (was aimed at pplwbpd officially but the staff all refer to it as the "personality disorder clinic", fwiw)
bunch of other stuff under the cut including video content if that's more your thing
DBT stuff
this subreddit is a wonderful community, usually helpful with questions & has some resources linked also:
https://www.reddit.com/r/dbtselfhelp/ https://dbtselfhelp.com/
TIPP skills (from dbt/distress tolerance unit but deserves distinction. biochemical benefit > psychological benefit. at least for me)
https://manhattancbt.com/dbt-tipp-skills/ https://in.nau.edu/wp-content/uploads/sites/202/TIP-Skills.pdf
also emotional freedom tapping / eft (not a tipp skill iirc but it should be, one of the few things that kinda works for me)
https://www.health.com/emotional-freedom-technique-8399985
SCHEMA THERAPY
"client's guide to schema therapy"
https://disarmingthenarcissist.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/clientsguideSchemaTherapy.pdf
(the website name is very questionable but i can't find the pdf for free anywhere else orz. this is a good starting point for schema therapy tho. sorry y'all. i will steal it for my google drive when i have time)
https://www.psychologytools.com/professional/therapies/schema-therapy
^THAT LINK stuff is not free!!! BUT you can find a lot of them with this google search:
[title of worksheet/handout] -site:psychologytools.*
ex. i search the following: "unhelpful thinking styles" -site:positivepsychology.* ...and this pops up, tadaaaa:
https://talkheart2heart.org/resources/unhelpful-thinking-styles/
(i'm just linking the paid site because i cant find them gathered like that anywhere else… dont have time to search each one individually rn lol. maybe another day)
free stuff:
https://positive.b-cdn.net/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/Schemas-Needs-and-Modes-Reference-Sheet.pdf (overview) https://bmcpsychology.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s40359-020-0392-y/tables/1 (more detailed info on each schema) http://www.schematherapy.com/id72.htm (more info on modes) https://positivepsychology.com/schema-therapy-worksheets/ (a few worksheets linked on that page)
if video content is more your thing:
DBT UNITS:
interpersonal effectiveness extras: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLwPrhSDQ0V_tBg36U3wWZpLopxJBurSsq
"middle path" skills: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLwPrhSDQ0V_uB2e7Y570ihYBEYd7dK9Sv
"radically open" skills: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLwPrhSDQ0V_udTjVVHhz5e1wzOSDyVeN2
DBT expanded edition: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLwPrhSDQ0V_vjlYkkflUDRmfhw_hM13M-
more DBT, videos by Dr. Thomas R. Lynch: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLkKKzTWUSjRhnRr5Pe2GMA7VDg_E8wBcm
DBT skills animations:
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL4Qw4-tlRJe-T2l5MtFOsLkTIkfZqjobY
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FAMILY SYSTEMS + ATTACHMENT
Patrick Teahan channel:
(great channel run by a mental health practitioner who has experienced childhood trauma, he gets it. check out the playlists tab. he also has some free resources/worksheets on his website which is linked on his channel iirc)
attachment styles playlist by Jennifer May, Ph.D: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLwPrhSDQ0V_smHuEjj2CxW4u7J_FozLlS
Crappy Childhood Fairy channel: https://www.youtube.com/@CrappyChildhoodFairy/playlists
(cptsd content mostly, haven't watched much of her stuff but i liked what i did see. she isn't certified but she is someone who experienced childhood trauma as well).
healing cptsd (small channel, few videos but good info iirc): https://www.youtube.com/@healingfromcomplexptsd2767
MEDITATION
(i cannot recommend her channel enough… i don't watch her longer videos/seminar(?) stuff but her meditation videos are like. actually helpful lol? i find a lot of that stuff not helpful at all but something about her is very calming and open and grounding. love her)
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MISC
Rachel Richards massage channel:
https://www.youtube.com/@rachelrichardsmassage9660/playlists
(she has some great videos for somatic symptoms... some playlists focus on anxiety relief, breathing/relaxation, posture/mobility, sleep, etc.)
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Dr Daniel Fox channel:
https://www.youtube.com/@DrDanielFox/videos
(cw: ableism/ableist language toward cluster b's is present on this channel, he just has a LOT of videos so i include the link... like if youre looking for something specific to do with pd traits, there's a good chance you can find SOMETHING here. *i have mixed cluster b traits incl. the more demonized ones disclaimer*. but yeah steer clear if that bothers you)
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Struthless channel:
(mostly adhd/exec dysfunction/motivational advice stuff but i find his videos like actually kinda inspiring/motivating so i'm including it here since not a lot of stuff... feels motivating to me at all ever. but i never regret clicking on his vids! good motivational speaker lol)
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that's all i can think of rn please lmk if any of the links are broken or like... if you have a question u think i can help w ^-^
heres my wacky opinion of the day:
DBT is useless for people with dissociative disorders and i think it needs to be talked more about how and why