Bsd Dazai - Blog Posts

*121 spoilers*

oh ok so we are actually going to acknowledge the Dazai phantom in the room I just thought we we'd let him chill and grant him residency didn't think we'd start to ask questions like why. Why has Atsushi been hallucinating a man this whole time.

I'm trying to prove a point.

Literally. The second the finale aired, the whole arc suddenly turned from tragedy to comedy. And suddenly, Chuuya was very justified for shooting Dazai an extra few times.

EXTREMELY funny Chuuya frame in retrospect

UGH I MISS THEM SO MUCH-

(Image if from one of the omakes, taking place when Atsushi was going up with Lucy and Kyouka to the sky casino)

"Akutagawa is Atsushi's foil" yeah but you know who else is?

Dazai.

Atsushi and Dazai are really good parallels in a way that doesn't ever get talked about. Atsushi saved Dazai from dying in the moment that he decided he was going to live. Everything Atsushi does, everything that drives him, is his utter desire to live. Sure, sometimes he may doubt his own right to do so, but to him, life is the most beautiful thing he wants to be worthy of.

Dazai, on the other hand, is driven by his desire to die. He searches for a way out, even if he never goes through with it. He doesn't see the value of life, not in him and not in most others.

That's one of the things that attracted Odasaku to him, and now Atsushi. Because as much as Dazai never valued life, he values people who value life. Chuuya, Odasaku, Atsushi, even Ango he chose to befriend when learning that he was writing the names of all the dead. That's why Atsushi is so precious—it's someone he could learn from, maybe to find his own will to live.

The boy who desires life while his mentor desires death. And their relationship is somehow one of the most wholesome in the whole series.

Skk's entire relationship in a single frame:

You know that concept I was talking about? Well, since I've got a lot of work to do today, decided to write at least part one of it. This ended up being 1.8k....heh heh, so it's under the cut. Ehem.

When Atsushi arrived 20 minutes late to work, he expected to be scolded by Kunikida for his tardiness.

He did not expect the entire Agency to have their attention on him the moment he opened the door.

"Uhm. Hey?" he said, getting increasingly uncomfortable with the way everyone had their eyes on him. They couldn't all be mad at him for being late, right? He had asked Kyouka to tell them he'd be there in a few (it was still so strange that she was a full-fledged member of the Agency now), and it wasn't like this was a common occurrence. So why was everyone staring at him like they wanted to say something, but couldn't find the words?

"Heyyyyy Atsushi," Dazai started with a light, slightly mischievous grin. He approached the confused detective and wrapped a long arm around him. "How was your weekend?"

"It was good?" Atsushi only became more confused as he attempted to slip out of Dazai's iron grasp. It didn't work.

"Good, good," said Kunikida with an odd expression. "That's...that's good."

"Mhm." Atsushi now turned to Kyouka, who had left half an hour before him. Although her expression too was stoic, there was a small furrow to her brow. He looked at her, pleading both for an explanation and an escape from his mentor who still wouldn't let go of him. She averted her gaze.

"Ok, that's it." Atsushi wrestled out of Dazai's grip and turned to stare back at the Agency. "What's going on? Why are you all looking at me like that? I was only twenty minutes late—"

"This has nothing to do with being punctual," Kunikida interrupted. "Although, we will have that discussion later. You see, the thing is—"

"The news wants to do an interview with the people who are responsible for saving the city from the Moby Dick," Ranpo finished, clearly tired of everyone beating around the bush. The other detectives vaguely glared at him for going right out and saying it, but the brunet merely shrugged and went back to eating his donut. Atsushi's eyes widened and he grinned.

"Wait, that's amazing!" he said, glancing between the detectives, unsure why they all seemed so apprehensive. "It will be good for the Agency if we get our name out there, won't it?"

Kunikida nodded slowly.

"So then what's the problem? Are you not sure who should do the interview? I mean, Kunikida, wouldn't you probably—"

"Atsushi." The Weretiger turned to Dazai who had a serious expression on his face for once.

"Yeah...?"

"The news wants to do a live interview with the people responsible for stopping the Moby Dick. The exact people responsible for doing it."

Atsushi's eyes widened in horror. "You mean..."

"Yep!" Dazai grinned. "You were requested by name. As was Akutagawa."

"Aww no!" Atsushi buried his face in his hands. Suddenly, everyone's behavior made a lot more sense. "Well, that's nice. Tell them we refuse."

No one responded.

"Guys?" Atsushi looked up, making eye contact with each detective individually (except for Ranpo, whose eyes were shut like always). All of their faces were dead-serious. "We're saying no, right?"

"Actually, we already agreed," Tanizaki admitted quietly.

"What?!"

"Look." Dazai placed another arm around Atsushi's shoulders, but this time, the young detective was too distraught to even fight it. "We know that you probably don't want to do this—"

"What gave you that impression?" Atsushi bit back bitterly.

"But as you said, it will be good PR for the Agency if you do this interview. More recognition means more cases, and more cases means more money. And more money..." Dazai leaned in close to Atsushi's ear. "Means more raises. And you know who will be the first to get one if you do this, right?"

Atsushi bit his lip. He was well aware that Dazai was manipulating him, but he was also aware that Dazai was right. And the fact that everyone was letting Dazai do this meant they all felt the same.

Still...

"But with Akutagawa?" Since he didn't trust Dazai to be reasonable, Atsushi turned to plead with his eyes to the rest of the agents. His gaze first landed on Kunikida. "There's no way he'd want to do this interview. He'll try to murder me! Again!"

"The Port Mafia already agreed to work with us," Dazai informed Atsushi, his grin widening. Still, there was something about it that didn't meet his eyes.

Atsushi groaned. "But whyyyyyy..."

"Because it would be beneficial to them as well. Don't worry—I'm sure Akutagawa isn't thrilled with the idea of being in an interview with you either, but it's not like he's going to refuse a direct order. He won't like it, but he'll do it without killing you—probably."

"Well that's reassuring," muttered Atsushi. "And why do I feel like I'm in the exact same boat?"

Kunikida sighed. "No one's going to force you to do anything. If you really don't want to do the interview, we'll call the news station back and decline. But it would add to our PR, and it could drastically improve our clientele."

Atsushi frowned.

"Aaaaaaand you'll be the first to get a nice bonus," Dazai whispered into his ear.

"I guess, but—"

"You'd do it for the Agency, wouldn't you?"

Ugh. His mentor had him there, and they both knew it.

"Fine," Atsushi grumbled, feeling a headache coming on when everyone started celebrating. They all just wanted the money that might come from this interview, assuming he didn't botch things up. Could he do it? No, probably not. And Akutagawa would most likely murder him on camera when he least expected it. Yeah there'd be witnesses, but he was already a wanted criminal; it wouldn't change much.

"Perfect! Kunikida and I will be helping you prepare for the interview," Dazai told him, patting his shoulders.

Atsushi grimaced, his headache getting stronger. "Great..."

"There's also going to be joint practices with Akutagawa before the interview, so get ready for those. Also—"

"Joint practices??" Atsushi turned to stare at him in horror. "You never said anything about those."

"I just did! You really didn't think we'd have you two go on camera without having formally practiced how to sound like you actually don't hate each other, right?"

Atsushi didn't reply. Instead, he chose to sit down in his chair so that he could bang his head against his desk.

"That's the spirit! You two are going to be spending lots of time together! Isn't that fun?"

"Kill me now..." Atsushi groaned.

Dazai laughed. "Don't worry, it'll be fineeee."

"Ok, but none of you can blame me if this interview goes badly," said the Weretiger as he slowly picked his face up from the desk. "When is it, again?"

"Next Tuesday," Kunikida replied, notebook in hand. "So we have exactly eight days to get you prepared to be a representative of this Agency on live tv. As such, we are going to spend every moment we have preparing you—remember, if you mess up, we won't only not get more business, but we could also lose business as well."

"That's not ressauring!"

"It isn't supposed to be." Kunikida adjusted his glasses. "You need to be aware just how much is riding on this interview alone. So as much as you and that Mafia dog don't get along, you're going to act cordially and respectful like a true Agency member, got it?"

"Uh huh." Atsushi scowled. "Assuming he doesn't start anything."

"Good! Well, time waits for no one. Let's start." Dazai dragged over a chair while Atsushi lowered his head in his hands.

"This is going to be a complete disaster, isn't it." Still, there was nothing to do but to face the train wreck head on.

***

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Chuuya asked Mori again as the boss stared out the windows in his office.

"Of course. Akutagawa is a distinguished member of the Mafia, and I have no doubts that this interview will raise the Mafia's image in the eyes of the government."

"Maybe but..." Chuuya frowned. "Akutagawa is a great agent, but when it comes to social things, well..."

"You don't think he will be able to handle himself well in the interview, is that it?" Mori's eyes seemed to stare right through Chuuya's soul.

"I mean, no offense to him, boss, but he isn't exactly the most...personable member of the Mafia. Coupled with the fact that he's doing it with the Weretiger, a boy he hated so much as to defy orders to sneak onto the Moby Dick simply for the sake of murdering him, I don't know quite how well the whole thing will go if they're forced to be on live tv. Y'know?"

"I do." Mori smiled. "And that is why you're going to be prepping him for this interview."

"Hah????" Chuuya started. "But why—"

"Because he trusts you as an executive, and frankly, I don't think there's anyone else in the Mafia more suited to guiding Akutagawa in this manner." Mori's tone was light, but one thing was evident—this wasn't a request, it was an order.

Chuuya scowled. "And does Akutagawa know about this interview yet?"

Mori's grin broaded slightly. "I figured you could let him know. Until the interview, this takes precedence over any other mission or assignment. Just tell him it's an order from me. I'm sure he won't be happy about it, but he obviously can't refuse. I trust you'll be able to make him camera ready by next Tuesday?"

Chuuya grumbled something under his breath that likely wasn't polite to say in the boss' company. "We're going to have to start today then. It's going to take a few hours just to warm him up to the idea."

"Well, it's a good thing neither of you have any missions right now, so you can get plenty of practice. Courtesy of your boss, of course." Mori laughed. "Oh, and one more thing," he added when Chuuya had begun stalking towards the door. "You two will also have join practices with the Agency."

"What?!" Chuuya wheeled on Mori. "Joint practices?"

"Well, of course. Akutagawa and the Weretiger need to be able to sit in the same room on live television without one trying to kill the other, right? It would also help to get the story straight so that neither of them say anything that might be a little...incriminating."

"Fine, we'll do it." Chuuya's voice displayed utter defeat. "But just promise me one thing. Please promise me that the Mackerel won't be there. Please."

Mori glanced away. "I don't know who the Agency will ask to assist the Weretiger in preparing but..."

Chuuya sighed and rubbed his temples. "I already feel a headache coming on. Well, I'm off to go inform Akutagawa that he's gotta learn how to smile by next week." He turned his heel and stomped away, dreading the next eight days of his life. He wasn't in the mood for a long conversation, so Akutagawa was going to be ok with this, whether he wanted to or not. Once he entered the elevator, he sent the broody agent a quick text to meet him in one of the southern towers. After receiving a quick response, Chuuya had to laugh.

"Oh, this is going to be a train wreck," he mused, watching the skyline slowly sink. "A beautiful, terrible, train wreck."

Yeah so that's the concept - it's a little rushed, but if anyone actually wants a part two, perhaps I'll write it.

Concept: After the Guild arc, the news wants to do a live interview with the people directly responsible for stopping the Moby Dick from crashing and saving the city.

AKA. Atsushi and Akutagawa

It takes a bit of deliberation on both parts, but the Agency and Mafia eventually agree, because they feel it will be good PR.

They both get trained, as well as doing some join practices, for how to speak on live tv and not sound like they want to kill each other.

On the actual day of the interview, Atsushi and Akutagawa are there on screen, Dazai and Chuuya are behind the camera to guide their respective orphan's and get them to smile more (or in Akutagawa's case, look a little bit less like he wants to murder the camera), and Mori and Fukuzawa are there as the leaders of the organizations.

So. Three generations of skk under roof while the tv is live? What could possibly go wrong?

(hint the answer is everything)

Skk genuinely make me crazy because the more you think into them, the more sad it becomes. Dazai is a bad person who is getting pulled more and more into the light while Chuuya is a good person who gets dragged deeper and deeper into the darkness. Dazai gets to be redeemed when Chuuya lost the one opportunity he had, and by now, he's way too loyal to ever leave; they're his family. And yet, despite Dazai being the "evil" one, he couldn't make the Port Mafia his home, not in the same way the Agency is. Even though Chuuya is by all accounts the better person in this dynamic, he's still the one who was forced to take what he was given and make it his, while Dazai kept searching for something more, even though at their cores, they're the opposite. A demon in the light and an angel in the dark. And that's one of the reasons why 22 skk is really interesting - they both live in that area of gray, they just got there differently. One came from white and came closer to black while one came from black and approached white. And it's over this middleground that they connect more than anyone else - Chuuya, a person who at his core wants to do good, but he's been forced into becoming a murderer and to live in the darkness while Dazai, who at his core is more selfish and doesn't value human life, is brought into the light for a chance at redemption the other will never get to have. It's something I don't see much in skk angst but my god does it hurt.

AHAHA YES THISSSSS. If this song isn't them, I don't know what is.

@xvxblahhhxvx I want you to know that you gave me this idea 😂 thanks 🖤

I gave up trying to sync the clips to the music pretty fast lol but I think it turned out great anyway 😂

I think we should take more time to appreciate the cruel irony in so many of the bsd backstories, because Asagiri has this way of writing that's not just "oh sad things happened to this character." They're twisted, each in their own special way.

Atsushi: His whole life, he was treated awfully because he had the tiger. And yet, that tiger is what helped him survive that treatment, it's a manifestation of that will to live he grew because of his abuse. It's the source of all his strength and all his pain. The director told him to only hate him, never to hate himself, and yet, all his life, he blamed only himself for his misfortune. The one lesson the director wasn't trying to teach him is what he learned.

Dazai: At the beginning of dark era, Odasaku has one of the healthiest wills to live. And he reaches out to save Dazai from his own darkness, but he can't. But at the end of dark era...it's flipped. Dazai is begging Odasaku to stay, he's reaching out to stop him, he's telling him to find some meaning in life, that things will get better. Mr. "life is meaningless" himself is trying to tell his friend that life has value because he doesn't want him to go. It's right after he told Odasaku how he knows he's destined to lose everything he desires, and then Oda leaves him because he's lost his will to live. And when he dies, he sees himself as a man who failed to become good, to give up killing, yet Dazai sees him as a success story that people can change.

Chuuya: Chuuya's friends betrayed him because they thought he was betraying them by joining the Mafia. And then Chuuya joined the Mafia in order to protect the friends who just betrayed him.

Yosano: She only wanted to save lives. All she wanted was to help people, to heal them, and yet it was that kindness that ended up turning against her. Because by helping them, she also became the source of all their problems and all their pain. She saved their lives so much that all they wanted was to die.

I could go on for longer, but then this post would be very, very long. There's just something about the cruel irony in each of the backstories that make them all feel so tragic.

Okay so you know your post about chuuya getting turned into a dog and the agency finding him and dazai turning him back???? Look at this

https://www.tumblr.com/sensitiveheartless/673471841118142464/this-is-more-of-a-rough-sketchdump-than-a-proper?source=share

Oooooh that's actually really funny. I imagine it going similarly, just it would take a lot longer for Chuuya to get near Dazai and for him to turn him back, because even though Dazai obviously would have figured it out right away, he'd wait so that Chuuya could get a break. Not that he'd ever admit that though. But yeah this is basically what it would look like.

I see you your Dazai and Chuuya and raise you Beast Dazai to Beast Odasaku if he chose to stay.

Would You Fall in Love With Me Again from Epic the Musical but instead of Odysseus and Penelope, it's Dazai and Chuuya

okay I'm out

We talk a lot about the cycle of abuse, but we need to discuss the savior chain more because, aside from being one of the most wholesome concepts in the entire series, it's also way more direct than the cycle of abuse and it's what breaks it.

Odasaku begins to save orphans because a man told him to write fanfiction and that led to him to stop killing. He told Dazai to become a good man because he knew for himself that yes, this is a more beautiful path, this makes life just a little bit more worth living.

Dazai saves Atsushi because he sees what Odasaku told him: a traumatized, helpless orphan. He saves him (at first) because of the promise he made to Odasaku, and the opportunity given to him on a silver platter to help out an orphan and give him a home (properly this time).

And on Atsushi's end, that means everything to him. The fact that for the first time in his life, he has someone who didn't give him up on him. That he now has a home, a place where he belongs.

And it's for that reason that he chooses to save Kyouka. He doesn't give up on her because Dazai never gave up on him. Because he feels empathy for her, and wants to bring her over to this new light he's discovered because someone was kind enough to show it him.

Dazai helps Atsushi because Odasaku helped show him the light.

And Odasaku told him to become good because a man once showed him the beauty of saving lives instead of taking them.

And it's this cycle that ends up breaking the cycle of abuse, this generation mistreatment of orphans because they see their own darkness inside of them. Instead, this cycle sees the light inside of others and it brings others to save another.

Hi! Please pay for my next therapy bill.

Rest of the comic is under the cut, because LONG :0

Also! Content warnings for body horror, guns, blood(although in black and white) and just...horror in general tbh

Operation "Fall of the Hooded Hawk": For situations where one half of skk has to shoot without having clear vision, and relies on the direction of their partner. In this case, Chuuya was giving Dazai coordinates of where to fire by tapping against his ear. (It's kind of like a trust fall)

I scripted a whole followup conversation with more explanation of what exactly the mirror was, and just general context, but this comic has gotten so long that I'm gonna write that as a short scene in prose, because it's mostly dialogue and if I try to draw it all then I think my hands will secede from my body lol — I'll probably be able to get that done in the next couple of days. But in the meantime, thanks for reading! :D

(3/5/24 edit: Followup convo is done!)

The first time I heard that Asagiri said Dazai and Chuuya were the same soul in two bodies, I was a little confused. I mean, I love them too, but they're so different.

But now...

They both were forced to grow up too fast. They're both geniuses who can't relate to the world around them, yet at the same time, they both desire human connection. Both need to fight of nihilism, that feeling that life isn't worth it--even Chuuya, in Stormbringer, really struggled with the purpose of his own life. They both live for others and desire their connection, but the world doesn't let them have it.

And the loneliness.

The feeling of being a monster, a god of destruction. That they're bad, evil, inhuman. That they will never get they want, are forced to struggle for eternity, that there is no place in this world for two lonely demons like them who want nothing more than to be human...

Except for the arcade, where the two of them can just be teenaged boys for a moment. The same soul in two bodies reaching out for each other so they can be alone together.

The BEST line from Stormbringer:

I mean...he's not wrong...

So we know that Chuuya complained about his fangs getting stuck, but in the newest chapters, it doesn't seem like he has them in anymore.

Which means that the order of events between the finale and chapter 113 (I believe that’s the number) went like this:

First, they walked back inside the prison, with Dazai still holding the antidote. Chuuya says, “don’t you think you oughta take it by now?”

Dazai shrugs. “I’ve got time.”

Chuuya nods. They make their way more into the prison. “Hey, don’t you think you better—"

“It’s fine,” Dazai assures him. Chuuya frowns.

“You aren’t just waiting until it’s too late, are you?”

No response.

“Dazai? Hey, Dazai, answer me—"

“I think I better go now—"

“TAKE THE STUPID ANTIDOTE—“

“No! I don’t wanna HEY WAIT—" Chuuya jumps onto Dazai sending him sprawling to the floor, and they have a long struggle and frankly ridiculous struggle, which involves Chuuya trying to inject the antidote while Dazai fights him. Eventually, Chuuya manages to restrain Dazai's arms with one hand, and shoves the syringe into Dazai's neck with the other. He’s sweating and panting as he throws it away and lets go of Dazai's hands. Bitter at having been defeated due to his lack of strength that tends to happen when you narrowly escaped death more times than you can count within the past half hour, Dazai comments, “you know, with that expression on your face and those fangs, you really DO look like a vampire.” Which reminds Chuuya of his current predicament. He gets off of Dazai and they seek out a bathroom where Chuuya spends a good deal of time in front of the mirror, trying to get the fangs off without hurting his real teeth. He attempts to google it, but complains about the lack of service and good wifi. Dazai reminds him ever so kindly that it’s a prison, idiot. So they trek all the way up to the first floor and Chuuya stands on the roof, above the wreckage and pile of blood, holding his phone up until google loads and provides him with solutions. They found a way, but in order to get the ingredients required, they’re forced to raid the cafeteria, much to Dazai’s delight. All the required ingredients are eventually collected, but Chuuya spent an extra half hour trying and failing to pull Dazai out of the cafeteria as he scoured places including but not limited to: the fridge, the freezer, every cabinet, all the pantries, and the so called “hidden pantry” where all the sweets were. They finally make it back to the bathroom, where after much bickering and pulling and coaxing, Dazai finally manages to yank off the fangs, causing Chuuya to emit a high pitched sound not unlike a girl’s shriek. Finally, they make it back to the room where Sleeping Beauty is, still quite unconscious.

“I just don’t get it,” says Dazai. He crouched down and stares Sigma thoughtfully. “Why hasn’t he woken up?”

Chuuya frowns. “Do you think it might have to do with the stab wound—?"

“Nah, couldn’t be. Not in this series.”

“Oh, right.” Chuuya examines him again. An idea comes to him. He turns to his partner, his expression perhaps a little too gleeful. “May I…?”

Dazai waves a dismissive hand. “Go for it.”

Which is how we arrive to the state of affairs in chapter 113. Dazai’s no longer self destructing or hungry, Chuuya’s fangs are gone, and Sigma will find himself with a SEVERE back pain when he wakes up.

Ok so my brain did a thing-

Concept: on a mission, Chuuya gets turned into a dog (you'll never guess which breed), and dog Chuuya immediately seeks out the Agency, specifically Dazai, so he can touch him and return him to normal. However, Dazai hates dogs and refuses to associate with him. Meanwhile, the Agency practically adopts him, Atsushi the most out of all of them, and eventually Chuuya just gets comfortable there, finally being taken care of instead of the other way around. He still trailed Dazai around the most, but he gave up and just started enjoying it. Until Atsushi finally convinces a very reluctant Dazai to pet him and it's just. Chuuya

Skk's relationship is so funny to me like Chuuya just barely doesn't hate Dazai. Just barely doesn't want to strangle him and stab him- well he does, but he wouldn't let anyone else do it to him either. Trusts him with his life and resents him for it at the same time.

Meanwhile, Dazai's over here just flat out in love and doing a very bad job at hiding it.

Asagiri said it himself: he intentionally left out the core of Dazai's character and we never really see his internal monologue ever, because as Asagiri says, it would seem like two different people the minute Dazai opens his mouth to speak.

He's a really, really complex character, and it's really cool how so many different people come to view him so differently. Including the fandom, ironically.

The only thing I'll say is that it's funny so many people hate him for the acts he's done and insist he hasn't changed at all when the entire theme of bsd is overcoming oneself and that you can be bad and choose to do good anyway, and Dazai, though still manipulative, is meant to be an example of this. Just interesting.

the strangest thing to me about the BSD fandom is the fact that the vast majority of people in it are dazai fans, while also consistently assuming the absolute worst of him, disregarding the circumstances around his actions and giving him no grace or consideration of his situation whatsoever.

there's no doubt dazai is a bad person in many ways. he did plenty of unjustifiable, inexcusable things. he's pathologically manipulative with a totally skewed moral compass, most of which was undoubtedly brought on by his upbringing in the mafia. but at the same time, i see such a huge number of people taking that and somehow ending up with - and vehemently defending - this idea that he's a remorseless, indifferent, innately cruel person by nature?

are we forgetting this is the same dazai who was forced to false-witness a murder at fourteen years old? the same dazai who already wracked up numerous suicide attempts barely out of his pre-teens?the same dazai who was referred to by everyone around him as a 'demon' at fifteen years old? the same dazai consistently described as having grief-filled, empty expressions and detached, vacant reactions to practically everything when he was so young? the same dazai that oda described as "a child crying in the dark, alone, left to fend for himself with a hole in his heart as large as the world itself"?

that dazai is an indifferent, heartless, innately psychopathic person? really? i'm not convinced.

I bet Chuuya was terrified of dentists when he first joined the Mafia.

Because like. He grew up on the streets. I doubt any of them ever exactly got health insurance.

So the first time Mori informed him what a dentist was and how often he was required to go, he actually freaked out.

Chuuya: what do you mean you sit in a chair and let a stranger tamper around inside of you?!

Mori: It's just your teeth, Chuuya, and it's required.

He won't refuse an order, so he goes, terrified. And the second he enters and sees the chair he immediately starts "Oh grantors of dark disgrace-"

Only for Dazai to show up because Mori made him tag along in case Chuuya tried to get out of it. He had to stand there the whole time, because if he let go, Chuuya's power would destroy the office on its own.

And even though he's become used to it by now, Dazai will never. ever. stop making fun of how terrified he was that first visit, nor will he ever let him live it down.

They're on a mission, and Chuuya's trying to be intimidating. Only for Dazai to tell the enemy, "oh, don't be scared of this chibi. He peed his pants the first time he went to the dentist." (he did not. or at least, he claims he didn't. We'll never know the true story).

Needless to say, Chuuya made sure that any enemy who Dazai told didn't live to share the info. Which may have been Dazai's plan all along, it's hard to say. Either way, no matter how much time has passed, Dazai still can't resist making fun of him for him once in a while.

And after the mersault arc, when Chuuya couldn't get the fangs out, he may or may not have said "Oh no, perhaps you should go to a dentist-"

Chuuya kicked him in his broken leg.

Sometimes, I think about the fact that Odasaku and Atsushi were the only two people Dazai really cared about to ever ask why he wanted to die. (Oda in The Day I Picked Up Dazai and Atsushi in 55 minutes). Kunikida and Chuuya just acknowledged it and believed it to be a part of him. But Odasaku and now Atsushi wanted to know why. They wanted to understand him because they truly care about him and see his goodness more than anyone else and alifodishfsdlfd

Hc that when Chuuya grabbed Dazai's face during their first interaction it was because he wanted to get a better look at it because he's never seen the other half uncovered before.

I cannot put into words how much this line from the fifteen light novel means to me.

One hundred matches. They played close to a hundred games against each other. Because they're both just fifteen year old boys. Fifteen year old boys who were forced to grow up way too fast in a world that only dealt them trashy cards. Two boys who claim to hate each other...who found an equal in each other. Someone else they could be a child with. And in middle of a dangerous mission, a mission that involves Chuuya believing he's a god of destruction, a mission that involves Dazai searching for the old boss because he was forced to false-witness his murder, in middle of all of this, they played a hundred games at an arcade. Because they were just kids.

Oh and don't even get me started on Dazai. What he did would make way more sense coming straight from the Mafia, letting everyone kill each other. It doesn't feel like something Dazai would have done already being with the Agency for two years, and he's never killed anyone in present (he tried with Fyodor but...yeah. Also it's fyodor it's fair). And then him talking to Kunikida about the dangers of his ideals...it's all things that would make sense happening after he recently met Kunikida, not someone who's been in this organization for two years now.

Having the events of Dazai's entrance exam take place before the start of the series rather than during it really makes Kunikida's character make so much more sense. Specifically why, at the beginning of the series, he was really hesitant to save Atsushi, or have Atsushi save Kyouka. It's not out of rudeness or apathy. He won't let himself care, because he tried before. He tried to bring up a kid that had a bad life, and it only ended in failure. The events of the Azure Messenger arc really shape Kunikida's character into being someone who wishes he was a hero, but isn't. That he can't save everyone. So when Dazai saves Atsushi, at first, Kunikida doesn't want to grow close or allow himself to care because he feels that this too is only going to end in failure. Hence what he tells Atsushi about he and Kyouka both drowning if there isn't enough room on the boat (the metaphor admittedly makes more sense when he said it). It just adds so much in respect to his character if it happened before the events of the series as opposed to during it, because then it just makes Kunikida out to be super uncaring. But he's not. He just doesn't want to get his hopes up until he can truly accept the fact that this time, it might end better.

Something about how the "evil" half of double black are the ones who push it onto the next generation.

Mori decided to make Chuuya and Dazai work together because Natsume did for him and Fukuzawa.

Dazai forcing Akutagawa and Atsushi together.

You could attribute this to Mori and Dazai both being manipulators who are trying to utilize people for their benefit, but I think it's more than that. They know what it feels like to have that light in their lives. To partner up with "good" person. So much so that they want to push it onto the next generation, because they want the one they see themselves in to have that light in their life. Dazai wants Akutagawa to have Atsushi to temper that darkness. Mori wanted Chuuya for Dazai to give him a reason to live. Maybe one day Akutagawa will be pushing a different version of skk in some other lost soul he sees himself in, trying to save him in the only way he knows how. And the cycle will continue.

I really, really hate when people say that Dazai doesn't care about Akutagawa and that he never did.

Don't get me wrong: I'm not saying that what Dazai did to him was right, nor that it was justified. He treated him awfully, he abused him, and I'm not trying to insinuate that his treatment was fair, or that his motives excuse the actions. But what I am trying to say is that the motivation behind it wasn't cruelty, both in the past and present.

For starters, this is the interaction when they first met, from the short story The Heartless Cur:

He told him right off the bat that he wouldn't be treating him well. He never forced Akutagawa into anything, and even offered to give him and his sister enough money to live the rest of their lives content, never to hear from him again. But he told Akutagawa he might be able to give him a reason to live-something the boy had been lacking his whole life. By giving him a "master" as the short story says, someone to look up to and follow. Again, the way he was treated was brutal, but Dazai's intentions weren't evil.

Now, I don't want to do a "Dumbledore said calmly" meme, BUT... check out the difference between this scene in the anime vs this scene in the Dark Era light novel (apologies if the audio sync got a little messed up)

Dazai sounds frustrated, like Akutagawa isn't worth the breath it takes to speak of him. But vs the light novel...

Yeah. Pretty different. This scene came after the one where Dazai punched and shot Akutagawa for killing the soldiers, forcing Akutagawa to learn to use his ability in a way he never had before. And then now- "Dazai grinned from ear to ear" - that sounds a lot like he's proud rather than ashamed. He clearly does think Akutagawa is powerful (as Atsushi says later on, Dazai acknowledged him long ago). And then he admits that he truly feels he could be powerful, and that Akutagawa would destroy himself had he not stepped in to train him.

Now. This doesn't make what he did right, and we see from Beast how Akutagawa might have turned out if someone like Oda had been the one to find him and take care of him. But the fact of the matter is, Dazai believed he was doing this for Akutagawa's own good. And this was the world he lived in; Dazai was incapable of treating someone like Akutagawa well in the place he was in mentally. He saw his own darkness in him, and therefore, couldn't treat him the same way he could Odasaku and Ango. But he did care for him, and more importantly, he wanted to help him learn to stop killing.

Which brings us to the present.

Dazai's actions towards Akutagawa, especially at the beginning of the series, are of a different nature than they were in the past. He doesn't hit him, but he riles him up. Tells him Atsushi is better than him with the intent that he'd go after him brutally. Hangs up on him, makes him desire Dazai's approval, essentially manipulating him in both the finales of season two and three, as well as in season five. And this is for one reason that is expressed in beast: he believes that Akutagawa and Atsushi would work extremely well together, but that they'd need to fight in order for their souls to truly connect and for that trust to be built up. Dazai admits that he'd been considering them as duo since the moment he met Atsushi-which proves he never forgot about Akutagawa, or even considered him second rate in terms of power. But he felt that he needed to push Akutagawa in order for the two of them to connect, putting both of them in danger, yes, because he knows that the two of them possess strengths that balance the other out, both in literal attacks and in their philosophies. Which is why he looked so happy at the end of season three when Atsushi tells him about the deal with Akutagawa not killing for six months. Atsushi was able to reach out to Akutagawa in a way Dazai never believed himself capable, even if he had to manipulate both subordinates to achieve it. And again, this isn't to say that Dazai is right for using the both of them like that, or treating Akutagawa like dirt in order to force a relationship with Atsushi. But it wasn't down of out malice or apathy, that Dazai never truly cared for him and only for Atsushi. Because if that were true, he wouldn't bother to have them work together the way he did. It also comes down to the fact that Dazai himself grew as a person since he met Akutagawa. And this is most evident in the finale of season two, when he puts his hand on Akutagawa's shoulders, smiles genuinely and says "you have become strong." Only after does Akutagawa temper his anger and desire to kill to work with Atsushi to protect the city, Dazai calls him strong in more ways than one. Because all he ever wanted for Akutagawa was, in a way, what Odasaku and the rest of the agency was telling him in beast: to control the raging beast inside of him before it consumes him.

This isn't to say that the abuse was justified. That it was ok for Dazai to insult him and use him in order to achieve his goals. But I really hate when people say that Dazai never cared for Akutagawa, because at the end of the day, it's not true. And that's what really hurts the most about abuse-most of the time, it's done out of love than malice.

I wanna talk about Odasaku for a second, and his character arc in Dark Era

I love Odasaku, and one of the things I love about him is that he's not just there to be the friend Dazai loved and lost, he's a really deep character who grows over the course of the Dark Era novel, and he learns how to speak up.

I feel like his arc is mitigated in the anime, and I'm not going to be blaming it necessarily, it's just that a book written in first person POV is able to achieve a lot more depth to the MC over the anime , which is forced in nature to take a more third person, observational take to the character.

Dark Era spoilers, obviously.

The first thing I would like to bring up is Oda's personality, and for that, I'm actually going to start this analysis off with using a quote from Beast, of all things, because this was honestly the best description of Odasaku ever.

The best way to describe Odasaku's personality is obliviously perceptive. He's really smart, and somehow a complete airhead at the same time. When you read either Dark Era or The Day I Picked Up Dazai, you can sense this in an instant. How this pertains to his relationship to Dazai in particular is that he sees things. He knows that Dazai is hurting deeply, he's one of the only people who sees past the dark exterior and the child deep within, but at the beginning of the book, he won't say anything. He puts Dazai on this pedestal in a sense, and doesn't believe that his input is warranted, and he says nothing, even when Dazai is a walking cry for help. After listening to Dazai casually admit to a suicide attempt via banging his head against a hard tofu block without batting an eye, that's when Ango arrives and tells him off.

However, the conversation quickly shifts, and the matter isn't brought up again.

The next time someone tells Odasaku to speak up when he's summoned to Mori's office, and is greeted with a rather...bizarre scene. Still, he's a low-grunt of the Mafia, and Mori is the boss, so he lets whatever stuff is going on fly, until he eventually interrupts, ignores whatever was going on, and announces his presence. Which prompts the following conversation:

Still, it's apparent he doesn't take these words to heart, and continues to perceive almost everything, but never comments. However, something soon happens which brings to the surface just how deeply ingrained Oda's reticence truly is.

After Oda was chased by the enemy snipers, most of them had enough holes in them never to rise again. Until one picks up a gun and aims it at Dazai, the enemy executive, all other backup too far away to offer any aid. Instead of trying to avoid it or stop it, Dazai walks right up to the enemy and says , paraphrased "shoot me, please shoot me." The whole time, Odasaku's desperation is palpable, and unlike the anime, he attempts to stop Dazai from this blatant self-destruction by calling his name and then screaming it, thinking that he felt they were a million miles apart. After the ordeal, when Dazai faces his friend again, he offers all his excuses, how he knew the sniper would miss, but Odasaku wasn't satisfied. And this is where we get the first hint at how Oda really feels about this:

He wants to say something. He wants to punch him for the stunt Dazai just pulled, because he sees the truth. He sees the child inside of him. But once again, he's restrained by the apparent gap between them in rank and mind. Another important thing to note is that throughout the novel, Odasaku considers their difference in rank a bigger barrier than Dazai does. He makes comments about Dazai helping him, the low runt in the Mafia, but the executive doesn't care. Here once again, Oda is inhibited by this apparent gap between them, but this scene is also growth for him in the sense that he understands that there's a problem here. Earlier, he passively listened to Dazai speak of suicide, but faced with a barely disguised attempt, with the true demons inside of Dazai's mind, he wants to stop him, to reach out, to tell him that it's not ok. But he can't. Not yet at least.

After a later incident, we're given a flat-out description of Odasaku's philosophy, and why he chooses to remain silent. When the two of them are at the restaurant, discussing the enemy, and when Dazai realizes they might actually be a formidable opponent, he laughs, elated with the notion that perhaps he might be beaten. And that's when we get perhaps the clearest look into Odasaku's mindset:

There's a lot to unpack in this interaction: first, we see how much Odasaku truly cares for Dazai, how much he wishes he could rid his heart of the darkness buried deep inside. But the problem is, he believes he can't. He doesn't think he could do anything, at first, he's not sure what to say to him because what could he say? He doesn't think he can reach him. And then the all important line "What we see is everything, and everything we see, we ignore. All we can do is stand before the deep ditch between us and others and keep silent." The thing is, not everyone sees everything. He doesn't realize this. He's so oblivious, he can't even comprehend that he's more perceptive than others, almost like Ranpo when he was younger. He doesn't know what to do with the information he receives but to ignore it, as he says, to see the distance and remain silent through it. But still, he makes a halfhearted attempt to reach out, but is interrupted when Dazai's phone rings, and doesn't bring it up again.

The biggest turning point is the kids and Gide. Gide, who drags Odasaku, a character who seemed to have the healthiest will to live, into the darkness. By removing all his hope, his proof that he could one day write a novel and give up killing forever, he brings Oda down into the pit of despair that he lives in, the pit that Dazai lives in. Where the sun won't shine again, and all that's left is revenge and then death. This is where the tables turn, and now Dazai is trying to save Odasaku from that darkness that he knows all too well. He tells him useless platitudes, cliches that must have been uttered to him over and over that he knows won't work, but Dazai is desperate to save the one he's on the verge of losing. But Odasaku won't let himself be consoled, and he goes on the suicide mission to fight Gide. And only now, now that he's about to die, now that he's in this place of solitude and despair, that he reflects on Dazai and their relationship.

It's only at the end does Odasaku wish he would have said something. When he understands the darkness, he sees Dazai for what he truly is - a lonely, sobbing child. And it's only after this realization that he should have invaded the solitude does he speak up when Dazai arrives, and tells him to be a good man. Because he realizes that the darkness is going to overwhelm him unless something changes, and with his dying breaths, Odasaku gives over the advice that changed his life, not a way out of the darkness, but a way to brighten it just a little, and make living a little more beautiful. Something only he could understand, having tried to walk that path for himself. It can't be that it never occurred to him earlier that Dazai's mental health may have benefited from a...change in vocation, but he never thought it was his business to say anything before. But now that the darkness has consumed him, that's the final push for him to finally say something and reach out to his friend at the last moment before it was too late.

And though I don't think the anime did all of this justice, the parallels between these moments will always kill me.

I like to think that, the first time Dazai met Chuuya, he made fun of Chuuya's height without realizing from his position on the ground that he was only five centimeters taller. And when he did find out, he went "ah. well, in too deep to stop now, ima just go with it" and kept up the short jokes, despite the fact that they were practically the exact. same. height.