Arthurian Legend - Blog Posts
Six years ago
Me: Knights? Sounds boring. Greek mythology all the way.
Six weeks ago
One of my friends: Something-something-Dwayne Johnson-something…
Me: DID SOMEBODY SAY GAWAIN?!?!?
I just discovered TV Tropes' Wild Mass Guessing page for Arthurian legend. If you haven't read it, check it out. It's absolutely wild. For example, we have...
The theory that Merlin stole Kay’s powers
The theory that Guinevere is sterile segueing into the theory that Arthur is a cis female segueing into the theory that Arthur is Mordred’s mother segueing into the theory that Guinevere is male and Lancelot is gay
The theory that Guinevere wasn’t a historical figure but Arthur and Lancelot were (and Arthur was female)
The theory that Arthur has already returned and its possible Arthur subtheories (Winston Churchill, the Duke of Wellington, Queen Elizabeth I, Prince Harry, Sonic the Hedgehog…)
The theory that Merlin is John the Apostle
The theory that Isolde is Tristan’s mother (ick)
The theory that all versions of the legends, medieval and modern, are retellings by different characters
Also, TV Tropes is a wiki, so you can add your own theories to the page.
There used to be a real gothic metal band named Tristania and I don’t know whether that was a coincidence or whether they named it after Tristram’s Tristania. I’m not sure whether I prefer the latter—them appreciating medieval literary characters—or the former—it being a splendid coincidence.
The antidote Palomides procures against death by unrequited love cannot fail to appeal to a modern reader, familiar as we all are with the therapeutic powers inherent in ones creative faculties: 'therewythall he leyde hym downe by the welle, and so began to make a ryme of La Beall Isode and of sir Trystram... [S]ir Palomydes [lay] by the welle and sange lowde and myryly (473-4.86).
— Between Knights: Triangular Desire and Sir Palomides in Sir Thomas Malory's "The Book of Sir Tristram de Lyones" by Olga Burakov Mongan
So the therapeutic powers part is a beautiful interpretation, but also all I can think of now is Tristania modern AU, in which they're all in a band with messy interpersonal relationships and writing songs about each other Fleetwood Mac style.
(Dinadan, the only one not tragically in love with someone, writes weird narrative songs and diss tracks about the people he dislikes)
Being overly invested in the lives of mildly obscure Arthurian characters is like “If you ship Caradoc with anyone other than Guinier or Dinadan with anyone at all then so help me I will go rampaging through the countryside like Lancelot, Tristan, Merlin, Roland (no, not Roland, Roland is a Paladin, to heck with Roland), Dagonet, Yvain…”
The Grail Heroine leading Galahad to the ship, where Percival and Bors wait
Stained glass by Veronica Whall for King Arthur’s Great Halls at Tintagel
Morvran/Sanddef (Sanvran)
I am not only the only person who has tagged a work for Morvran/Sanddef (Arthurian). I’m the only person who has ever tagged for either of those characters on Ao3. They’re both minor knights who are known for surviving Camlann due to their appearances: Sanddef is so handsome that people mistake him for an angel and won’t fight him and Morvran is so hideous/odd-looking (covered in hair like a stag) that people mistake him for a demon and won’t fight him. (Morvran’s anppearance also plays a role in Taliesin’s origin story, inspiring Cerridwen’s actions, though Taliesin gets the awen instead of Morvran and Morvran then disappears from the narrative.) Admittedly, they’re rather obscure and the details about them are sparse, but I feel like they have potential, platonically or romantically. I’d like to think that they fight side by side at Camlann and have no idea why no one is fighting back.
Reblog and put your rare pair in the tags/comments! I want to see the depths people will go to create, for the most random two characters in the most obscure media.
Post-Camlann Incorrect Quote
Bedivere (to Arthur): I just fought in a battle for you, most of my friends are dead, you’re dying, I’m unemployed, the land is in turmoil and potential anarchy, Kay is I-don’t-know-the-heck where, you just killed my brother by hugging him, and I don’t even get to keep the darn sword?
If one-appearance knights are allowed, then Tyolet (from the Lai of Tyolet) has a similar but superior skill set to Percival’s. He too grew up in the forest and he can control wild animals to some degree, like a Disney princess. If he got the mockingjays and/or the mutts on his side, he’d be a force of nature.
Come to think of it, Disney princesses would do really well in the Hunger Games.
Ok if characters from arthuriana were placed in the hunger games arena who do you think would make it out? My controversial opinion is that Perceval would do well because of his survival skills (grew up in forest) and his javelin throwing would give him an advantage
This is a crime.
“The Lay That Had No End” by Ernest Rhys
"Puis comence le iengleor Bloys
Deslaiaux de mort du roy:
Mais porquoi on dit.
Sanz fin james laisser çi."
I
"The sun sank red, the moon as red
As blood did rise o'er Caerbrë town;
The King," he sang. "But Bloys," I said,
"Come tell me where is Caerbrë town?"
II
"The Haut King, red with blood, returned
From Barendown's fire, and came therein
To die," he sang. "What in him burned,
Dark Mordred's death? or Gwenevere's sin?"
III
"They buried in his blood the dead;
But One bore water there to save
The King," he sang. "But Bloys," I said,
"Where lies indeed the Haut King's grave?"
“Dagonet the Fool” by Susan Spilecki
They call me "little man," "King Arthur's fool,"
And "simpleton," those lackeys at the court,
But this fool's mother had the Second Sight,
And sometimes when I caper for the king
I see more than Taliesin the bard
And Merlin the enchanter can, combined.
I stand before the dais, juggling:
The red balls first, then yellow, green and blue,
And when I add the gold and silver spheres,
The oval blur between my hands takes form.
A glowing, rainbow mirrow it becomes
Through which I see the king an older man.
His beard is shot with grey. Astride his horse
He sits up straighter than he would on land
When all the kingdom's cares, some awful guilt,
And the death of all his dreams lie on his back.
I see two rows of soldiers and a snake,
A sword unsheathed to kill it, turned on him--
I drop the balls and stammer out some jest,
A wish for pardon, while the courtiers roar.
He does not laugh. He sees my face go grey
With terror. Arthur thinks I fear his wrath.
He hands me the gold ball, rolled to his feet,
Says, "Dagonet, all people make mistakes."
He glances at his wife; she looks away.
Fool I may be, but even I can tell
There's something wrong when Guinevere looks down
Among the milling courtiers at one knight,
The tallest, bravest, handsomest in spurs:
At Lancelot, who never makes mistakes.
I scramble for the balls. He looks at me,
Then looks away, and shrugs his lion's mane.
Dismiss me as a fool, Sir Lancelot.
Better a fool in small things all my life
Than a great lord who, with one folly alone,
Casts all he loves to ruin at life's end.
Arthuriana has so many major aspec characters, and it’s fabulous
Here are a few characters who I interpret as aspec:
Dinadan!!! He is an absolute aroace icon. In a source whose name has slipped my mind, Isolde comments on how he ought to be in a relationship and his reaction is something along the lines of, “Yeah, hard pass. How’s that working out for you, by the way?” (Read it with sarcasm).
Galahad, Bors, and the Grail Heroine all seem quite happy about the eternal chastity thing. None of them have any close calls with demon ladies, unlike poor Percival, the one allo person in the friend group. (Yes, Bors has a son, but a cursed ring was involved there, which is why as much as I do not stand Bors’ Morte misogyny, I will always pity him).
Kay is very rarely ascribed romantic relationships, and in one Welsh source, his father prophesies that Kay’s heart will be “eternally cold”, which could be interpreted as never enflamed by love.
Any others who come to mind?
Crop-Eared Dog makes the overzealous descriptions in the Vulgate look tame
This is a quote about the villain, the Knight of the Lantern, who should consider getting a job at Vogue if being his brother’s seneschal doesn’t work out:
“And when they were in a pleasant state, drinking and pleasuring, the king arose standing, and he looks to the four broad-bordered quarters on each side of him all around ; and he saw one young champion, armed, accoutred, and equipped, approaching him; and a tunic of fine silk around his white skin; a wonderful gold-threaded mantle above his fair tunic; and a firm, close, well-woven breastplate about his slender, brightly beautiful, well-curved body; a handsome gold-hemmed scapular above that breastplate; and a goldenhilted, ingenious, broad-grooved sword on his left thigh. A beautiful, very firm, jewelled diadem of manifold art about his head; a shapely, studded, flesh-coloured shield on the ridge of his back, and lines of golden letters in the edges of that royal shield, to announce and proclaim that there was not at the back of shield or sword in the world a warrior or champion better than that mighty soldier. Two angled spears in his white right hand; he had a long, narrow, radiant face, and a grey, clear-glorious, fresh, brilliant, joyous eye in his head ; and he had a slender, shapely, handsome mouth, a smoothslow, quiet, kingly raising in his eyelids, springs of love in each of his royal cheeks; and the people of the world were inferior to him. And in this wise was he; a glistening, full-lighted lantern was in his left hand, and the king was watching him till he came to his presence; and King Arthur asks news of him.”
I mean, really. Describing Lancelot’s eyebrows is weird enough, but glowing descriptions of eyelid raising are on another level.