Acceptance - Blog Posts
I am not a ghost.
I don't have a job. I have always had a hard time making money. I will not show you my tits or do sexually charged things with you. I won't constantly stroke your ego. I can't connect you to anyone "important". I won't agree with everything you say or do. I won't laugh at stupidity with you. I don't think life is always easy nor do I feel that easy is always the best idea. No, I won't make sure to maintain a certain "appearance", I don't even wear make-up. While I do understand that money is a "need", waving your net worth at me will not impress me. I strongly believe in effort, learning, and making constant adjustments. I have often put a lot of energy into helping others but I have finally also accepted that I deserve acknowledgement and help as well.
I know. I understand. More than one human has explained that I am simply being too difficult and that's why I can't connect. I get it BUT, I also understand that I'm not invisible. Just because I am not one to conform to common behavior patterns does not mean that I deserve to be treated like I am even less noticeable than the homeless person you happily see as either a problem, or a way to feel better about yourself by donating to the charity case. I am very much alive. I too have feelings. I... am not a monster... or a ghost! I am simply different. I don't want to be medicated or changed so I can be more "normal". I just want to be me, and be accepted as human. Yes, I know... good luck with that. Humans can't even seem to get beyond skin color so why would I expect my list of differences to be accepted? meh... A girl can dream.
While I do understand the message they are trying to express, I could not help but giggle as my toddler brain went.... since when did being in a wheelchair become a gender??
And yes, I am aware of how bothered some humans are by signs like this but, because of that very mentality, I appreciate that more places are offering... safe spaces... to perform bodily functions. Bad human behavior comes in all types of packages. Making someone feel unsafe, or unwelcome simply because of their personal (not dangerous to anyone else) lifestyle decisions is not a very nice thing so yes... I fully support spaces like this and the businesses that have them.
There is pain in acceptance. It's a stage of grief for a reason, I suppose...
Love and sadness, Hope and breakage, God and endurance, Politics and suffering. Science and destruction, Education and slavery, Race and division, Life— life, and life.
Maybe all that we want is already taken— no matter how much we cry, yearn, lament, we never seem to get what we seek.
Am not right to be loved, thus I fear for a soul that flatters mine. Am not just to be trusted, thus I am scared to trust. Am aiming nowhere, thus scared for someone to get lost with me.
5 Stages of Good Omens
Season 2 Episode 6
Denial
“No. Good Omens season 2 ended at episode 5.”
Anger
“WHY?! They were perfect together! It doesn’t make sense!”
Bargaining
“If only they had gone off to Alpha Centauri together. They would’ve been together forever.”
Depression
“(ugly sobbing) They were too perfect for everything, for all the other angels and demons, for this world and cruel heaven and hell. They were so perfect for each other, but now they are no longer together! (ugly sobbing continues)”
Acceptance
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I have accepted the come and go relationship I have with these titles like a cat that leaves a house and comes back