yea..
It’s hard not to feel alienated sometimes by your friends, even if unintentionally, as a physically disabled person.
“Oh, let’s go to this place!”
“How far away is it?”
“It’s only a three-minute walk.”
But you can’t do that three-minute walk. And it’s uncomfortable speaking up that you can’t do that three-minute walk. And maybe you’re well enough that day to push through it, but you pay for it afterwards. The worst part, your friends think they’re being accommodating because it’s such a short walk. However, a short walk to them isn’t a short walk for you. But eventually, you simply start saying no to hangouts because you don’t want to be a burden because you can’t engage in basic activities that are easy for everyone else.
Sometimes you do speak up, and you’ll ask something like, “Can we drive there?” and there’s always pushback. “Oh, it’d take longer to drive there than to walk” or “walking is good for you!” You regret mentioning anything at all; the discomfort and guilt linger.
Structural inaccessibility adds another layer to this problem. You’re forced to say no to countless hangouts that aren’t wheelchair-accessible. Even if you can walk, you might not be able to walk far enough to enjoy the planned outing. People start noticing you always say no, and before long, they stop inviting you at all. Maybe it’s better this way. It still feels lonely.
nailed it.
anyone who thinks health issues end with walking out of the hospital doors, massive reality check for ya. there is no clocking out of chronic illness or disability.
surgery does not cure everything, medication does not cure everything. hospital cannot cure everything.
the amount of people in my life who believe that when i go to hospital, i will be discharged cured or symptom free is astonishing to me.
most of these people have known me long enough to have seen me through multiple hospital admissions and every time they come back to this way of thinking even though its never happened.
I started using Head and Shoulders ten years ago for itchy scalp and dandruff, and then for ten years I have not had itchy scalp and dandruff, so I thought “why do I still buy shampoo to combat itchy scalp and dandruff when I do not have itchy scalp and dandruff,” so I stopped buying the shampoo for itchy scalp and dandruff and can you guess I have now? Can you predict what currently afflicts me? It’s alright if you can’t because apparently I fuckin couldn’t either
I think that it's really important for people to realize that being disabled is traumatic. genuinely. your body and brain feel like they are breaking down and wrong. you are in constant heavy stress from stuff like chronic pain. most disabled people i know have a somewhat regular emotional break down from the trauma of it all. and we are expected to just smile through it by society, to not be in the way, to not be an issue.
chronic pain diagnoses are all like yeah we don't know what this is or why it happens. we also don't know how to treat it. good luck out there soldier
and what i really want is more deformed characters who are GOOD instead of this awful pattern of the deformed characters being evil.
anyways i am currently working on multiple such characters.
Really wish I saw more art of deformed characters. More diversity in bodies. I feel like people are scared to draw us because they’re worried they’ll do it wrong or something. But 1. wrong and trying is better than nothing, and 2. you can always ask somebody for input. There are always people who are willing to answer your questions, you just have to find them. My asks are always open and I know a to of other people who are like that, too.
i’ve decided on which story i want to tell first. very excitedddd
THIS IS GENIUS WHY HAVE I NEVER DONE THIS
slay ty to ur partner for accidental allyship
People who spend a lot of time in/on bed, I have a recommendation for you... Go to some big and cheap store like Kmart and get yourself a kids activities tray!
My partner got this for doing crafts on the couch but we've repurposed it to be a writing surface for my bed-rot days. It's not perfect (I'd prefer a surface a bit higher, and it squishes these thicc thighs a bit) but it's a pretty good stop-gap for $10-20
healthy coping looks different for everyone right, but i really wish it was easier to figure out what was right for me without all this trial and error stuff 😭