Zylahbee - Zylahbee

UHC website has an article entitled "Response to Misinformation" in which it explicitly labels Luigi as a killer despite a trial not taking place. Which in itself is defamation and very telling of their concerns with pushing a narrative more than a legal and ethical perspective.

bathrooms should be accessible for all.

im on day 39 of a migraine, hospital have given up on me, makes it hard to not give up on myself.

‘nuff said.

👆 truest shit anyones ever said

notalgia is so strange because what do u mean i long for things that remind me of the worst times of my life?

one of the worst parts for me about chronic illness is not having answers.

im a very logical and analytical person i love things to make sense i love patterns and reasons.

i have answers for pats of my health, and im so grateful for that, but the parts that i dont have answers for haunt me.

i think about it all the time. what if its not real and thats why theres no answer? what if im not explaining my symptoms right and thats why i havent had the right test that would give me the right answer.

i know logically that its a waste of time to think about, but i cant help it, i obsess over it. not understanding the world is one thing, but not understanding my own body? my own life? thats what gets me.

omark thinks if imark just finds out about gemma he'll love her the exact same way omark does and he becomes genuinely frustrated that that's just not the case. he just doesn't understand that his innie is his own person with his own relationships and memories that he takes just as seriously and just looking at and learning about his outies wife won't suddenly ignite something in him. oirving wanted to try to be loved the same way his innie was, idylan fell for gretchen as he got to know her. imark has helly, he doesn't know gemma, he doesn't need to reach across the barrier to find romantic connection, he's got everything he needs on the severed floor. and omark's inability to understand that is why his wife has been left alone in the lumon stairwell

i have such a complicated relationship with the word “goals.”

i grew up constantly being asked what my goals or ambitions are for my life. i had answers when i was younger, id come up with different jobs all the time.

but as i got older - and sicker, i found it increasingly hard to feel encouraged by having goals.

it felt more like a weight that i wasnt able to carry, like i was carrying a massive burden on my back with everything going on in my life, and then i was expected to pretend like that burden wasnt there, and to jump up as high as everyone else who didnt have that burden.

as i continued to get sicker (to the point i had to leave school early) the questions of goals never stopped, and that was deeply confusing for me.

my goal was take care of myself, that was it. but that never seemed to be enough for people.

i would answer saying “im just trying to take care or myself and heal at the moment.” and they would ask me again, “but what are your life and career goals?”

why is taking care of myself not a good enough goal?

so now as i am in less of a crisis stage of life, im starting to open myself up to more “career and life goals.”

but thinking of goals is incredibly hard now.. i find myself feeling sick with anxiety thinking about even simple goals.. and i think im just really terrified of “failing” again and having to quit like i did with school.

i also feel like i have spent many years now trying to gain a healthy relationship with rest, with healing, with not being what society deems as “productive,” that i feel a bit uneasy about returning to more “productive” goals.

i dont want to lose what ive learnt over my time healing, i dont want to pressure myself too much to go back to being a “productive member of society.”

there are things i want to achieve in my life, of course there are. i dont lack motivation, in fact i have a really hard time having enough time and energy to do all the things im really eager to do.

its just that i have such a complicated relationship and past with the normal path that society wants people to take in life, im scared of losing myself, and failing in re-engaging in such things.

My chronic pain doctor suggested I exercise more

I asked him “how?”

He looked confused. Said I should try a bit every day

I said “not when, how?” I asked what exercises I should do

He suggested half a dozen options that had all been explicitly banned by other doctors. I’m not allowed to run. I’m not allowed to bike. I’m not allowed to use my rowing machine or my punching bag.

I walk my dog whenever I have the energy and when it doesn’t hurt too much

What else can I do?

He told me I should exercise more

And then he changed the subject.

absentmindedly doodling. i always have a nostalgic soft spot for the season 1 dynamics in winx club.