Tysm Fatigue

if invulnerable means i dont feel the affects of my chronic illnesses, then i would probably do something super cool and crazy.

id clean my house.

30 whole minutes a month of pain/fatigue free cleaning??? do you know what i could accomplish??? id be unstoppable. maybe id also do a cartwheel or smth for funsies

If you could become immortal and invulnerable for 30 minutes once every month (it has to be all at once, you can't chop the time into smaller segments and use minutes separately), what fuckery would you commit?

yes. yes. yes.

honestly i get so excited when i see someone switch over to the “i could never” response because so many people do the “lucky you, you get to be lazy” and that one just really hurts.

so when i see even a small step in the direction of understanding my life is not glamorous, even if its still a response i hate, i feel excited dkdhks

i really cannot understand how people see disabled life as this glamorised lazy life. i genuinely cannot wrap my head around this.

how could ANY of what i go through be seen that way i just dont get it.

“consistency is key” doesn’t apply to many disabled people.

going to the doctor and having them tell me that, and that i need to stick to a schedule they have deemed appropriate is completely comedic.

what about the fact that my health and ability to do anything is a constant gamble? it can change drastically and almost instantly at any given time.

what about how right now i can stand up and make myself breakfast, but by lunch time? who knows. i may be unable to even sit up.

how do u listen to me explain that i dont have a daily or weekly schedule because of how unpredictable my health is, and reply by giving me a schedule.

do you not think i have tried to stick to a routine and schedule like all the healthy people around me??

all i see is people with consistency. i grew up thinking i was broken because i couldnt. i have pushed myself to breaking points trying to fit your mould of success and health.

im sorry if you experience this too. im going to make another post about what consistency can look like for me and other disabled people. because while we dont fit the classic definition of it, there are ways we can make our own version. i wish doctors would listen to me and would help me find my version instead of insisting on theirs, but they havent, so i wanna try help others find theirs. prt. 2 here (now going to make multiple more posts on this topic lol)

I've been a winx fan since like... forever, I can't believe Rai is using AI to make the reboot.

(Thanks to Maiky Odel, they shared the proof they could find with me)

I know I'm shouting into the void with this one but like. Genuinely so many low support needs people dont understand what it's like having even medium support needs. Like I am entirely dependent on other people for many of my needs. I can not see a doctor without someone else scheduling the appointment, taking me there and doing a large amount of the communication for me.

If my caretaker had not been accepting of me being trans and invested hundreds of hours into psych appointments and taking me to my endocrinologist and doing all the paperwork involved with my name change and literally taking a week off work to stay with me in the hospital for surgery etc i would have just like. Never transitioned. My ability to transition was entirely dependent on a singular person and that's what a lot of other parts of my life are like as well. and that's fucking terrifying and a great way to be neglected and abused in ways that are horribly hard to get away from.

I dont drive, I dont work, I struggle to leave the house at all, I dont fucking communicate with people majority of the time. The things that are hard for you? I probably can not do them to begin with. No one in my family lives even close to a comparable life to me. None of my irl friends do. I'm incredibly isolated.

And then I go online and see people rant about how easy MSN and HSN people have it because we just get everything we need and how because people can tell we are disabled everything is so easy because none of you even manage to listen to us talk about the neglect and abuse and trauma we face/d. I see people angry at their (more) disabled siblings for getting care they need to survive instead of mad at society for creating a system where its incredibly hard for families to take care of both a higher support needs child and another child.

And I see people who live completely independent lives who work and drive and make their own doctors appointments and grocery shop and travel by themselves call themselves MSN (I could go on a rant about how that's also often the fault of LSN influencers for not leaving a lot of room in their own community for legitimate struggle but that's for another day).

I just want my needs met. I want to be able to decide where I live. I want choice in my care. I want to be able to have community with those like me. I want others to realize I exist and leave the words i have to describe my existence alone. I want others to listen to what I have to say about what my life is like.

Terrarium Life collection~

I painted these way back during the pandemic (hence the hoard of toilet paper and Switch that I wish I had, but they were all sold out) No pandemic now but the chimney smoke from all the neighbors have made the air unbreathable and I'm stuck inside again 😭 cuddling my dog, drinking tea

tending to my fish tank and my plants

its hard to think about world issues when most of my world is just trying to deal with my health.

my world feels so complicated and big and demanding and exhausting.

and then trying to think about the 8 billion other people living lives.. many in countries where there are political wars or genocide or severe environmental damage etc.

its overwhelming.

on day 5 of a migraine get me out of here

aint no way i didnt know this blog existed im so dumb hi welcome