Hyperfixation So Bad People Think Of Me When They See It

dude you look forsaken as fuck right now

going to be honest though the type of blood oaths where you swear by pressing your bleeding cuts together to mingle the blood have so much erotic potential to me. what if we fit our open wounds together. what if the insides of us touched & our essences mixed. this too could be sex

when i have a crush i dont kick my feet or twirl my hair instead i am in my kitchen at 3am pacing in circles with my hands clasped behind my back like a middle-aged divorced detective haunted by a cold case he just cant crack

Give a man a horse he’ll eat for a day teach a man to horse and make him drinks water

you guys seemed to enjoy my cringe-fail legolas sexy gimli post so here’s some more of my thoughts ab that dynamic:

-when legolas goes home and announces his engagement to gimli thranduil is shocked but every other elf is like “yeah checks out. that kid’s always been a little weird.”

-gimli goes home to announce his engagement to legolas and every dwarf promptly loses their SHIT at the fact that THE gimli, son of gloin, is betrothed. only to further lose their shit at the fact that it’s to that weird elf prince that they have never heard speak unless to send some sort of diplomatical message for his father but some dwarflings once saw him sobbing in front of a tree in the middle of a rainstorm while gripping a fallen branch.

-thranduil only gives his blessing to the proposal once he realises just how angry all of erebor is that their most eligible bachelor, gimli, the silver-tongued battle ready diplomant and descendant of kings, has been stolen away by thranduils weird tree-hugging naked star gazing hippie son.

makes me so mad that I’ll never be able to open up some guys rib cage and just stick my hands in his organs and move em around while he moans and whimpers. imagine getting your prostate grabbed from the inside. must feel crazy

(bleeding from my wound) notice anythiung differebt about me ;)

Sirius: My kink is doing stupid shit and watching Remus speed-run the five stages of grief as he realises that he still wants to fuck me.

His little kitty ears 🥲🐈‍⬛

im reaching my fucking limmies bro. im almost at my limmies