Zodixyz - Zodixyz

Yall, today we learned this is the color. And that’s its real name.

Social isolation can be traumatic.

Neglect can be traumatic.

Not having friends can be traumatic.

Being alone all the time can be traumatic.

Bullying can be traumatic.

Don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise.

Your struggles are valid and you deserve to be seen.

-Dr Sunshine

creature in fiction: *is portrayed as bad and mean*

8 year old me: but what if there was a good and nice one :0

well obviously, i am an 80 year old child with autism according to ... "the internet"... Dr. Google said so :D /j

Google when I look for advice for my autism: "How to deal with Your CHILD WITH AUTISM."

Google when I look at advice for cane user stuff: "Canes for old people. What to do when you're 80 and your joints hit the shitter.

I am screaming and hitting the wall just give me advice I can actually use.

public service announcement

everyone dunking on that automated fleshlight sex toy needs to remember that disabled people get horny too ok 💜

when i say my gender changes to the tune of the bit i mean a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do and if he can’t then god forbid women do anything

sometimes i start to slide back into the mindset of "what if I'm not really disabled and I'm just faking it" or "what if everything could be cured by just doing x, y, z" etc.

and then i remember that during lockdown in 2020 i spent 6 months — like every single minute of that six months — focused on taking care of my health and doing everything right

i slept 8+ hours, i drank lots of water, i got a decent amount of (non-straining) exercise, i went for walks and got fresh air, i ate balanced meals, etc. etc.

and my health got worse.

i did everything right, continuously, for months, and was still disabled. there is literally nothing i could have done to "fix it". i'm not faking it, i was alone (mostly) and trying to convince myself that everything was fine, and i was still in debilitating pain.

everything has been so much better with disability aids. having my cane has been life-changing. using sensory aids, life-changing! a non-disabled person wouldn't benefit this much from disability aids!!!

i think this is coming up again for me because I've become a relatively well-known person on campus for disability (and queer!) issues, and despite having all of my lived experience and the drive to deal with things, i still feel underqualified.

there are other people who are "more disabled", or have "been disabled" longer than me (since things were really only dealt with during lockdown after my experiment, it's only been like 3-4 years with a diagnosis). sometimes i feel like i'm taking away an opportunity from someone that would be more qualified to do things.

logically though, i'm not. most of these things i have either started myself, or other people have convinced me to get involved with because i seem "qualified" to talk about it. I've had four meetings this week about campus accessibility, people actively seek me out to ask questions, i do regularly deal with ableism and inaccessibility even if it's to a lesser extent than some other people — but the stuff i'm doing is to help everyone, not for personal gain. i'm not pretending to be disabled for selfish reasons. there are clear access barriers that directly affect me as well and i am doing everything in my power to take them down.

anyways you can't really fake being disabled, especially not to yourself. ;)