BAABY YOURE LIKE LIGHTNING IN A BOTTLE!!

well, lets try this (delulu as hell)

oh god what did i do

IT SUMMONS MAIL EVERYONE TRY IT

i have no idea what the fuck happened there

oh yeah, with the new size limit for .gifs this thing can finally be posted

well look who it is. my old friend. the conses of my quences.

what do you MEAN no one can comprehend the horrors? i can do it just fine!

Computer Science major here, it's not working because the computer doesn't respect you. download viruses on it to remind it who's boss.

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Somewhere Else (In Space)

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Why You Should Date Each of the Entities:

The Dark:

You can't see the things that are so plainly wrong in the dark, everything is softer, more blurred at the edges. your secrets will always be safe.

The Corruption:

You will never be alone again, loved unconditionally, blindly, wildly by something that lives within you. Something that has marked you. Something that will never leave.

The Lonely:

Isn't it so peaceful? So calm? Being given your own space, living, loving in silence together. How can you be hurt if there's no one to hurt you?

The Eye:

What would you give to fully be Seen? To be understood? In your deliriously human entirety. A complex puzzle of experience and nature, dissected and pieced back together.

The Vast:

You want to be drawn in, magnetised by something larger than life, bigger than you could ever imagine. You want it to overwhelm you, the indifference in which it reacts to your all-encompassing desire. The best part of love is the falling.

The Flesh:

Meat is meat is meat. Why romanticise what is so plainly human? You are a person, made of flesh and bones, you would like to be with another person, made of flesh and bones. Simple as.

The Web:

Love me, love me not. You pull off each of the spider's legs to understand your romantic fate. It's infinitely complex, ineffable to you and your human machinations. You just want to follow the red string, hopefully finding someone on the other end.

The Slaughter:

It's me and you. You and me. Why should anyone else get in the way? I'll dig through your ribcage and curl up aside your beating heart, holding it as it ceases to beat.

The Spiral:

You don't want to understand. You just want to your hand to be taken, pulled along to dizzying adventures. Chug the slushee and relish the feeling of the brain freeze.

The End:

Everything ends. At least this way, you have more control. The relief that washes over you is no longer tinged with guilt.

The Buried:

You're surrounded on all sides by your lover, encompassed and safe. The pressure condenses your fizzing veins into hard candy and for the first time, you feel solid.

The Desolation:

Burn it down and only we are left. We are the most important people to each other and it shall stay that way, until the both of us perish. It will end as it started, with a rush of flame.

The Hunt:

You're constantly chasing the pounding, breathless feeling in your chest, craving the twist of the neck to check if I'm still watching, still five paces behind. It's presence is comforting, mingled with torturous.

The Stranger:

Fuck man I don't know how to make this one sound romantic.

THERES SOURCES!!

Fun Fact: Hognose snakes are dramatic lil guys!

I am particularly fond of the snakes known as hognose snakes, and my reasons are both understandable and correct.

This is a hognose snake:

(They received their name by having the sweetest lil snoot to ever require a boop – image source)

They use these adorable snoots to burrow under sandy soil using a sort of nuzzle-y motion. They then use these burrows as a place to sleep at night, hibernate in the winter, and lay their eggs. 

(you could say they’re into… the Underground Scene! …ok yeah i’ll show myself out – image source)

Plus, they come in a variety of delightful colours!

We’ve got brown! Beige! Yellow! Black! Red! Orange! Tan! Kinda greenish! Orange again!

(pretty sneks! – Here’s all the image sources: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

And, to be clear, the snakes pictured above are wild snakes. No selective breeding by humans in these noodly bois! At least, not in these specific individuals. probably. I guess a few of them could be escapees… 

But most importantly: These snakes know the true meaning of DRAMA

Hognose snakes are actors, first and foremost. When they feel threatened, the first thing they do is puff out their neck into a hood. 

(like cobras, this hood is made by FLEXING THEIR NECK RIBS. which: gross – image source x)

This superficially makes them look like a cobra, but what they’re actually trying to do is make themselves seem bigger, and therefore scarier. Possibly those dark spots on their neck helps with that! 

Any resemblance to real-life Eurasian cobras, real or fictional, is purely coincidental

Also, it makes its mouth do this:

(Snakes that SCREAAAAAAAM. – image source)

honestly, if I didn’t already know that hognose snakes were harmless, this would ABSOLUTELY make me leave it the hell alone 

But if all of that^ is unsuccessful at scaring away the predator, the hognose snake pulls its signature move: playing dead

If you think that is a lame signature move, then you are wrong, because hognose snakes put EVERYTHING into their performance and I love them for it.

(they’re serious, they’ll do it!  – image source)

((I’m actually going to stick the rest of this under a read-more, bc the pictures of the alive-and-physically-fine hognose snakes do kind of look like a legitimately-dead hognose snake, if you don’t know what to look for. 

So, uh: cw for a snake being too good at pretending to be dead))

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