I Think Next Thursday Is Gonna Be The Best Day Of My Entire Life Tbh

i love the funky dj spotify because be could be like "these songs are for that those funky vibes" then the next song is like FUCK YOU FUCK YOU VERY VERY MUCH and i love him for that

man 🚶🏻‍♀️‍➡️

all your stuffed animals love you. they're not sad if they're in a box, or on the floor, or not held/played with as much. they understand. they know that you might need another stuffie more, or that you don't have enough space. they're just happy to be with you, and if you ever give them away, they'll be happy there too. stuffies are for comfort. they understand. they love you too. it's okay.

does anyone wanna hold hands until we feel a little braver

hhhhhhh

HE

If you have not eaten anything today I have infused this text post with vitamins and minerals. you may lick this post for nutrients as a temporary solution but as soon as you can please eat something

I just ate a receipt to make a waitress laugh and I just googled it and found out receipt paper is toxic. If I kick it I want yall to know that’s how I went out

You were just a bartender—until a portal dropped you into a world of magic. Now, your cocktail skills blend potions like no one’s ever seen. Healing with a twist of lime. Fireballs with a salted rim. You don’t cast spells. You serve them.

i just walked into my sister hunched over her desk. i looked over to see what the fuck she was doing and she was just

you know that thin layer inbetween an egg and the shell?

she was separating the shell and the thin layer

at 10:30 pm

i have watched literally none of them

what do you mean elon musk did a nazi salute on live tv at the united states presidential inauguration twice and is now erasing the evidence off the internet by replacing the footage with the crowd cheering instead?

would be a shame if people reblogged this, wouldn’t it?