When Daniel Asked For Some Fcking Aspirin In 2x4 I Barked Out A Laugh And Was Like, Oh Yeah That'll Ficking

I'm not sure if fans of the show without ADHD understand this, but when Ed says he's bored he's not normal person bored.

Neurotypical people, or so I'm told, experience boredom as a temporary state. They can resolve it with a wide variety of activities. For those of us with ADHD, though, boredom feels like a life sentence. Firstly, we can't resolve it with just anything. Our brain wants ONE EXACT THING and won't accept anything else but also won't tell us what the one thing is. We can try dozens of things and still feel bored, even days later, if we can't find the right one.

Second, we have time blindness! If a neurotypical person is bored for an hour, they probably think it's a really long, unpleasant hour. Us ADHDers feel that hour as an eternity. It's torture for an unknown amount of time that feels like forever. It SUCKS.

Third, and maybe most importantly for Ed, neurotypical people don't understand what ADHD boredom is like. My mom still thinks I'm fucking with her when I say I prefer physical pain to boredom. I prefer ANYTHING to boredom. I think Ed exists in much the same space, and there is NO WAY Izzy understands. Izzy would have been confused, maybe even angry at Ed for trying a million different hobbies and raid plans and fuckeries to find the one thing that his ADHD brain needs to cure the boredom. Izzy probably rolled his eyes and scoffed.

For Ed, boredom isn't a minor inconvenience. It isn't a bad day. It's an endless torture. No wonder he'd do anything for the most interesting man he's ever met. No wonder he's broken when that boredom is forced back onto him.

#frederick Chilton #babygirled too close to the sun

Reads a fanfic: that was good, I'll leave a kudos

AO3: You have already left kudos here

Me:

btw if u don’t wanna be a girl u can just not be a girl. if u don’t wanna be a boy u can just not be a boy. likewise for being a woman or a man or any gender that has ever existed.

there’s no test you need to pass or license u need to hold to trans your gender - you can just decide one day that u feel like doing something different. if ur waiting for permission, i’m giving u permission. go be happy.

saw my ex at 7/11 and looked like i just crawled out of a dumpster 🤦🏼‍♀️

god bless everyone in my life for being so sick of me but so very patient

wheres your whimsy. wheres your fucking whimsy

I really hate the “Kraken Ed is violent with Stede at the reunion” trope, not just because of everything wrong with making Ed overly violent, but because the kid who killed his father at 12 for abusing his mother would never lay a hand on the man he loves.

If anything I could see him saying something rude but warranted, and then immediately breaking down and apologizing about it

As I previously stated, I loved 01x05. It was fantastic. It was real. It brought my emotions to the forefront, and I don't get to experience that with much of anything, these days. But, this little misfit family... I feel for all three of these characters, in my own way. (They're fictional, so, yes, I can do that, thanks). Possibly because I have been in each of their positions, in one form or another, throughout my life.

I'm going to get mighty personal with this one, so be warned.

01x05 hit home for me, in a big way. This is a legitimate breakdown of a forced family unit, and that's something I personally feel for. Children have been the Bad Marriage Band-Aid for generations, and I am grateful to the writers for acknowledging it. (Some of us get a little tired of seeing cookie-cutter families, when ours look more like the aftermath of an oven fire, y'know what I mean?). We're getting to see it from all three sides, too, which I find absolutely refreshing. One parent thinks the child will settle the relationship. The other goes along with it, and ends up so blinded by jealousy, there is no middle ground left.

Claudia, though. This girl... She has my heart. Claudia is not to blame for what she was brought into, the absolutely fucked-up relationship that her guardians share. Is she a little shit? Yes. Is she hard-headed? Yes. Unstable, in terms of coming into her own? Yes. But, she is not the cause of her parents' issues. That's a hard thing to overcome as a child brought up under such circumstances, especially when the household arguments are about you. Because, sure, they may be about you, but you did not cause them. Claudia isn't the origin of Louis and Lestat's tensions. She is the excuse to pick a semi-fresh fight. She is the mirror held up in front of the two of them to show them that, "Hey, this isn't right." The product of their unstable union. The best and worst of one another in one person. (Speaking of her vampiric years, not her humanity). That isn't to say that there isn't genuine concern for her, particularly on the part of Louis. Claudia just got caught up in a toxic situation, and it's no wonder she took the hell off. I'm not surprised which parent's side she took, either. (Then again, are any of us?).

Louis and Lestat are... Well, I feel less for the two of them. Some years ago, I was in a relationship with similar features, so I think what I am experiencing is that mirror (minus the children). I will first say that nothing - nothing - excuses abuse. I've seen it. I've experienced it. Hell, I'm guilty of it. I also acknowledge that abuse takes many forms. I see it in Lestat's constant manipulations. I see it in Louis' repeated threats to leave. Louis withholding intimacies (not just sexual). Lestat playing his little one-sided What's Good for the Goose game, in terms of monogamy. They both know what they are doing to one another, they know the reactions they will trigger, yet they keep doing it. It's an ugly, ugly cycle, and it won't end until one of them cuts the damned cord. Breaks the chain. (I don't exactly advocate that they do so through violence, but). Walking away isn't easy, fuck knows it isn't. There's truth to the notion that things need to hit rock bottom before they can get better.

No one is asking to be abused. That isn't what I'm getting at. My point is that these two are so completely caught up in trying to hurt one another, blame one another, and sabotage the other from the inside out, they ignore what it is doing to their charge. They know she can hear them fighting, and they carry on. Falling victim to The Pattern is part of the cycle, and it is likely to be passed on to Claudia. This whole situation is toxic. This is abuse. This is co-dependent. Everybody sucks, here. (Sorry, I had to). And, by golly, I will be here for it until the bitter end.

Y'know. God-willing.

P.S. I'll happily clarify anything that sounds shitty, if need be. I'm rattling this off at work, between what I should be doing, so. Y'know.

have you ever wondered what it would sound like if ed called stede "darling"? well, i just did thing...

(x)