Would He Block My Number? Because I Wouldn't Stop At These.

Once again, I'm asking you to watch the best fucking OFMD edit I've ever seen.

there needs to be more fic that plays with how ed is a stone cold genius and good at everything and that's part of why he's so fucking bored.

his response to stede saying he could open a restaurant says it all.

"probably could. maybe i will. i can do anything."

and he can!!!

when stede's like OH COME ON at ed demurring and then suddenly playing the piano! bcs oh ofc he can also play piano! (he has a harpsichord AND a lute AND an accordion in his room on the queen anne! consider: ed lowkey a musical prodigy)

when izzy gets frustrated in the art of fuckery and exclaims that ed just knows everything about everything in the whole fucking world! he thinks ed's a know-it-all because ed's so damn effortlessly good at everything! (his smug look at izzy when he's about to explain the fog and whatnot in 1x04!)

he asks stede how to "win this interaction" at the french party because that's what ed does. all he does is WIN WIN WIN. and that in turn is part of why it's so devastating to him when he's mocked. not just the trauma he's carrying around about class and self-worth, but also because it's probably the first time ed has failed at anything in a very long time!

a lot of au fic especially focuses in hard on the fact that ed admires and longs for stede's ability to express himself through things like fashion and to luxuriate and pamper himself and has felt barred from this by class distinctions and performing a particular kind of masculinity. but in the course of it, they entirely lose that ed is legendarily famous, wildly successful, and extremely rich!

while stede obviously holds various structural privileges over ed, in the immediate world that they inhabit ed is the one with the power and the clout and his interest in stede is what's considered a weird foible, ed taking a pet, etc.

stede has own way of doing things and money. ed has notoriety, skill, respect AND his own way of doing things and money.

he's bored and depressed BECAUSE he has it all and has done it all. if you strip that away then the entire point of his character flies right by.

the energy of the new Taika and Rhys pics

He's a cunt, SO WHAT? Get the fuck out of his way or accept the consequences 😤💅

Hmm, any one notice this?

So a while ago I wrote a meta about how Stede isn’t actually oblivious to his feelings towards Ed, but I was really thinking about it at work today and honestly… Ed kind of is.

I know the running joke of Stede effortlessly being the most objectively romantic human on planet earth by sheer accident is hilarious. But did you ever notice that when Stede is actually trying to be loving on purpose, Ed Doesn’t Get it?

We can assume Stede started the ritual of them eating breakfast together cause it’s his quarters, and the intimacy of that clearly went right over Ed’s head cause he let Jack invade it without a second thought. Like Ed, honey, did the implications of a man wanting to eat breakfast with you and only you every single day seriously never register to you??

Stede plans a whole day together “treasure hunting” when he wants Ed to stay. The whole “you wear fine things well” business was pure oblivion on Stede’s part, this is him flirting. And he’s trying so hilariously hard to make this ridiculous idea work, but Ed still doesn’t get the gist. Luckily Lucius I-need-a-fucking-raise- Spriggs is here to save the day and clue Ed in to what at least this particular situation means.

…Which makes the gears clearly turning in Ed’s head during this moment absolutely precious and hilarious. Now he knows what’s going on. He sees that Stede’s excited to spend time with him in particular just like Saint Augustine, I mean a bunch more people will be also there this time, but still! And I’m sorry but the brief look of pure “Ed Exe has stopped working” when apparently the first thing Stede could think of was swimming is criminally underrated.

And look at that fond little smile it turns into, Ed knows full well that man has some cute little swim costume squirreled away somewhere ready to go after pulling an entire safari outfit out of his ass last episode 😂

Ok ok enough teasing Ed, back to the point.

We know Ed’s love language is physical touch. Stede’s is less talked about but I firmly believe his is quality time. Just like Ed is touch starved, Stede is shown to desperately want someone to spend time with. But that’s not just the way he receives love, it’s how he gives love too.

His way of saying I love you is to say “That’s me.” He’s the one who breaks the lock on his own bathroom door. He’ll be the one to show up at Ed’s restaurant and look at all the little Knick knacks in his gift shop on a slow day. Stede wants to be the one who’s there, who makes sure Ed doesn’t have to cry by himself, or feel silly about something he loves and put a lot of work into. He doesn’t ever want someone so deeply precious to him feeling as unwanted and isolated as he did back in Barabados.

And Ed ends up missing so many of these intentional gestures. Which isn’t a BAD thing, I just love all the little intricacies of two people with completely different love languages somehow making it work anyway. I think that’s part of why the bathtub scene felt so profoundly intimate, because their love languages work seamlessly together and they end up emotionally on the same page.

I'm no more guilty of what you've accused me of than you are of what I've accused you of.... Bitch. I just don't like to point out my virtues 💁🏼‍♀️😘💅🏼💅🏼😘💁🏼‍♀️

Ed’s outfits throughout season one

Stede’s version (x)

Frenchie (portrayed by Joel Fry) is another one of my favourite OFMD characters - I hope you like this little portrait 💙

Prints and other stuff on my RedBubble and Society6 (I’m Wisesnail on both <: )

Thinking about Stede, and how I've always thought of him as a character who deals a lot with self-loathing, and now I'm not so sure, because if Stede really hated himself, like if that were a core part of his character/personality, we wouldn't have this show.

Because throwing your entire life away for a shot at happiness isn't self-loathing behavior. There's another post going around about Stede thinking about himself as a child when Nigel says "and you cried all the time and liked to pick flowers" and Stede just looks a bit rueful and says "yeah, little bit." You can tell Stede loves that little boy, and really, what is buying a pirate ship and filling it with fancy clothes and chandeliers and odd characters if not trying to give that kid a life where he might have had a chance to fit in, a life he might have liked?

So Stede hates his life, not himself. He loves pageantry but not the people who would shun you for using the wrong spoon. He loves fine fabric, and knows anyone can appreciate them if given the opportunity. He knows there's a life for him out there, if he can just find the right people in the right place at the right time.

...but then, at the academy, while he is the midst of self-recrimination and guilt, finally having realized that he might have caused his family some real problems by leaving without a word in the night, and knowing that Blackbeard would still be the fiercest pirate in the Caribbean if he had never met Stede (debatable, since Ed was looking for an out anyway), Chauncey takes him into the woods, tells him that Stede Bonnet is not human, that he is a plague, that he defiles beautiful things.

And after 40-odd years of thinking 'I know I don't fit here, but that doesn't mean i can't fit somewhere,' Stede says, "I think you're right. In fact, I completely agree." Stede is the problem. He is wrong and the world is right. He could fit in if he weren't deficient. He could do all the things he is supposed to do if he weren't broken.

So he goes back to the life he hated, because it's what he deserves.

Zero drama. All chill. Sippin on sunshine and good vibes.