You Know How You Gotta Restart A Song A Bunch Of Times Because You Didn't Appreciate It Enough The First

I don't have many (if any) mutuals on here but I would love to say hi to any Cheese Folk at C2E2 today or tomorrow! I'd love to be included in a group Fannibal photo or individually with you! PLEASE feel free to come up and say hi!

I have red hair and black glasses. I'm 39 but my age can be kind of hard to estimate. Today, I have a black T that says EAT THE RUDE in gold lettering and jorts and rainbow sandals. I have bloody knife earrings and a memory palace necklace. I will have a rainbow mask. My partner has a lime green and purple button up with eels on it. He will also be wearing a PAPR to filter the air because he's immunocompromised due to cancer, and he looks kind of like an astronaut in it.

I am AuDHD so reaching out for social reasons is way out of my comfort zone, but I'm long for Fannibal Friends. 🖤 I also absolutely understand if socializing is out of your comfort zone, so never any hard feelings. We can just communicate with an awkward smile and knowing head nod. Perhaps a whispered "bonsoir."

The most important thing is we all enjoy this once in a lifetime opportunity with each other. 🤗🔪🎣

(There's a pic of me past the Hanni gif. I'm en route from Ohio. I have a heartless curler thing in my hair rn (poorly)).

joel fry as frenchie in our flag means death season one

Say what you will about my boy Franklyn but he was always shooting his obsessive, desperate, cheesy shot.

“And you liked to pick flowers”

“A little bit”

Everything is new And everything is you

And all I've learned has overturned What can I do?

Every time I think about the fact that Akechi was Joker’s justice, and vice versa, I lose my mind at how intimate it is.

Akechi made you promise before he died to take down the man that had hurt you both, and when another man brought him back to play puppets he asks you to put an end to it as well. Akechi’s justice was never about him doing the final strike, his was allowing someone else to do it for him. His justice was having someone who cared enough to listen to him, and to do as he wished.

But for Joker, his justice was taking down the man who had killed his friend and framed him with his own two hands. His justice was deciding, that no, he refused to live in an illusion and then did something about it himself. Joker’s justice was taking the injustice done to you, and those around you, and being given the chance to end it yourself.

Akechi’s justice was having someone listen, and Joker’s justice was being given the chance to enact it himself. They perfectly mirrored each other, and understood what the other needed without even saying anything about it. It’s just so intimate, how could I not lose my mind over them?

"Not everything is about your blorbos" to you maybe. To me every other song and probably that car commercial is about them

As I previously stated, I loved 01x05. It was fantastic. It was real. It brought my emotions to the forefront, and I don't get to experience that with much of anything, these days. But, this little misfit family... I feel for all three of these characters, in my own way. (They're fictional, so, yes, I can do that, thanks). Possibly because I have been in each of their positions, in one form or another, throughout my life.

I'm going to get mighty personal with this one, so be warned.

01x05 hit home for me, in a big way. This is a legitimate breakdown of a forced family unit, and that's something I personally feel for. Children have been the Bad Marriage Band-Aid for generations, and I am grateful to the writers for acknowledging it. (Some of us get a little tired of seeing cookie-cutter families, when ours look more like the aftermath of an oven fire, y'know what I mean?). We're getting to see it from all three sides, too, which I find absolutely refreshing. One parent thinks the child will settle the relationship. The other goes along with it, and ends up so blinded by jealousy, there is no middle ground left.

Claudia, though. This girl... She has my heart. Claudia is not to blame for what she was brought into, the absolutely fucked-up relationship that her guardians share. Is she a little shit? Yes. Is she hard-headed? Yes. Unstable, in terms of coming into her own? Yes. But, she is not the cause of her parents' issues. That's a hard thing to overcome as a child brought up under such circumstances, especially when the household arguments are about you. Because, sure, they may be about you, but you did not cause them. Claudia isn't the origin of Louis and Lestat's tensions. She is the excuse to pick a semi-fresh fight. She is the mirror held up in front of the two of them to show them that, "Hey, this isn't right." The product of their unstable union. The best and worst of one another in one person. (Speaking of her vampiric years, not her humanity). That isn't to say that there isn't genuine concern for her, particularly on the part of Louis. Claudia just got caught up in a toxic situation, and it's no wonder she took the hell off. I'm not surprised which parent's side she took, either. (Then again, are any of us?).

Louis and Lestat are... Well, I feel less for the two of them. Some years ago, I was in a relationship with similar features, so I think what I am experiencing is that mirror (minus the children). I will first say that nothing - nothing - excuses abuse. I've seen it. I've experienced it. Hell, I'm guilty of it. I also acknowledge that abuse takes many forms. I see it in Lestat's constant manipulations. I see it in Louis' repeated threats to leave. Louis withholding intimacies (not just sexual). Lestat playing his little one-sided What's Good for the Goose game, in terms of monogamy. They both know what they are doing to one another, they know the reactions they will trigger, yet they keep doing it. It's an ugly, ugly cycle, and it won't end until one of them cuts the damned cord. Breaks the chain. (I don't exactly advocate that they do so through violence, but). Walking away isn't easy, fuck knows it isn't. There's truth to the notion that things need to hit rock bottom before they can get better.

No one is asking to be abused. That isn't what I'm getting at. My point is that these two are so completely caught up in trying to hurt one another, blame one another, and sabotage the other from the inside out, they ignore what it is doing to their charge. They know she can hear them fighting, and they carry on. Falling victim to The Pattern is part of the cycle, and it is likely to be passed on to Claudia. This whole situation is toxic. This is abuse. This is co-dependent. Everybody sucks, here. (Sorry, I had to). And, by golly, I will be here for it until the bitter end.

Y'know. God-willing.

P.S. I'll happily clarify anything that sounds shitty, if need be. I'm rattling this off at work, between what I should be doing, so. Y'know.

You know after thinking about it I think my main problem with Izzy stans once you get past the obvious one, which is the way that they are racist to Ed, (Clearly my main problem but not the problem I’m here to talk about) is that they don’t even like Izzy. They like Ed, and they like Black Pete, and they like Calico Jack, but they can’t admit that they like those characters for some reason? (you know why they can’t admit that they like Ed and Black Pete)

Like the ways Ed’s back story gets cannibalized for Izzy in a lot of fics and the way people will swap Izzy and Ed’s personalities is well trod territory. Ed is treated as enjoying violence and having a toxic masculinity problem and Izzy is treated like someone who’s trying desperately to make his working relationship with Ed beneficial when in the show those rolls are switched. You’ve heard this meta before. I just made a whole post about the way that Jack’s roll in Ed’s backstory (i.e. like 90% of the reason he exists as a character) gets ignored in favor of giving that roll to Izzy. And don’t even get me started on Black Pete. Both Izzy and Black Pete struggle with toxic masculinity, are obsessed with Blackbeard, and desperately wants to be in a leadership roll and aren’t very good at it. But so far at least Black Pete is the one undergoing the redemption arc and getting better, and Izzy is the one getting worse. I see people wanting a relationship with Lucius to redeem him and I’m like girl you have that. That’s Black Pete. Like Black Pete chose to get better and he’s still working on it but when he realized that Blackbeard wasn’t who he thought he was he minded his business and he went from complaining about sewing being womens work and worrying about what Blackbeard’s crew would do in episode one to learning through his relationship with Lucius to be sweet and vulnerable. And while Izzy in canon is attracted to Lucius i guarantee you that Lucius will not be playing that roll in his narrative, because it’s the roll he plays for Black Pete. That’s not to say that Lucius fixed him, but they will give Lupete’s dynamic to Izzy for no fucking reason.

So I’m gonna do something I don’t usually do and that’s defend Izzy here. If you’re gonna like Izzy there are tons of things about him that you can like. His psychosexual obsession with Blackbeard and his and Ed’s weird codependency is juicy enough to drive the plot at times. He’s a little freak to the point where he got his toe cut off and he liked it. He’s stubborn. He’s driven. He’s manipulative. He’s plotting and conniving. He sees other people as caricatures of themselves and DOES NOT react well at all to people falling outside of the box he’s made for them. He’s angry all the time. He can’t identify love. He’s jealous of Stede in the way that a child is jealous of their friends’ friends. All of these are wonderful traits in a blorbo (and terrible traits in a person, but a blorbo is not a real boy) They make him interesting and they give him layers. It’s very fun to theorize what happened to him to make him this way. There are many reasons to like Izzy Hands. But it’s kind of annoying when other characters’ cool stuff is ascribed to Izzy and those characters are ignored and maligned in favor of Izzy, especially when those characters are the brown romantic lead and the bald kinda frumpy guy with a lisp, who in 99% of media doesn’t get to be seen as hot but in this media gets to be desired. And it makes me feel bad for your Izzy that you cant like him for him.

How’s that for an answer?