Stede Braiding Ed’s Hair While Ed Reads One Of Stede’s Books

I just realised, Ed didn't return to the revenge to rescue Stede. Not entirely.

When he see's the three english warships he knows the Revenge is done for and anyone on board is going to be killed or captured.

So his decision to leave and go back to the ship isn't to rescue Stede.

It's to either sacrifice his life for Stede's.

Or die beside him.

Ed confesses to Nigel's murder to try to spare Stede.

Ed has no reaction to being told he's being sentenced to death other than "Yep."

But when Stede is sentenced to death Ed panics.

In hindsight his decision to take the act of grace is a simple one. It's actually better than he could have hoped for because up to that moment he knew they were probably going to die anyway. He's Blackbeard for godsake. He knew he was done for when he set foot back on the revenge.

But watching Stede die and being made to live without him? Nah. Unacceptable.

He'd rather sign away both their lives so they can die together fighting a war for the king.

Ed was really ready to die. No escape plan. Every plan he had was aimed at not being made to live without Stede.

And then Stede kissed him back and suddenly he realise they could actually have a life together and THAT? That is worth having an escape plan for.

I can't help but wonder if Ed kissed Stede when he was mid sentence because he was expecting a rejection and couldn't stand the idea of it. Had to silence him because if he didn't kiss him right now he would die without knowing what it was like. And they are both going to die anyway. Why not just go for it?

He didn't dare dream, even with Lucius telling him more than once, that Stede could want him.

I've hurt my own feelings.

I need a lie down.

#frederick Chilton #babygirled too close to the sun

An Anti-Colonial Reading of Our Flag Means Death

Our Flag Means Death, is not the first pirate story told in the 1700s, but it is one of the few to take a stark Anti-Colonialism stance throughout its entire first season. As a descendant of indigenous peoples of South America this stood out to me-and I found it extremely pertinent to highlight in an essay. The extent of damage colonialism caused to the indigenous peoples and culture of indigenous America is often underplayed in a general American education, so it is necessary to highlight some of its harm to fully appreciate the show’s efforts. 

 Starting in the 1400s, Central America and the Caribbean fell under the vicious attack of colonization by many European countries. The indigenous populations of Central America, South America, and the Caribbean became subject to diseases brought on by the colonizers, which triggered a mass genocide amongst indigenous populations. Weakened by disease, it left many indigenous nations subject to the violence and bigotry of colonizers. Indigenous peoples were mass murdered in hordes by colonizers who believed them to be nothing but ‘savages’ in the way of their ‘God ordained’ right to ‘civilize’ the ‘untamed’ world for their individual countries. Those who survived were often subject to slavery, rape, or forceful assimilation. Despite this, many indigenous peoples and nations resisted, and continue with their cultures and nations today in all parts of the Americas. However, colonialism’s wrath did all it could to violently assimilate survivors; forcing the conformation to colonial gender roles and expression, forcing conversion to Catholicism/Christianity, and anything that would help erase indigenous language and customs. It was as much an attempted annihilation of cultures as it was lives. This historical trauma and loss of knowledge is something many indigenous peoples and nations still grapple with today-and continue to push back against when their culture is excluded, appropriated, or mocked. 

By the 1700s many European nations were fighting for pieces of the Caribbean and Central America. The African slave trade had begun to further gain control over the land, creating a very similar cycle of trauma and abuse for Africans as the indigenous peoples faced. A loss of lives, autonomy, and culture. This had been going on for over a hundred years by the 1700s, and this century is when you begin to see some of the largest, and most well-known slave revolts as it went on. The 1700s began as a time Europe had established many colonies, and those who had been most oppressed (Indigenous peoples, Africans, etc) and those realizing this promise of glory and ‘new world’ was all a lie (Poor Europeans who came to the colonies for a ‘new life’) were beginning to question the system in greater and greater numbers. White supremacy culture (which is nicely summarized in this graphic:) was the enforced norm by European systems of policing, be it navy, soldiers, etc. European navies sailed the waters searching for more land and resources they could claim as their own, and enforcing the colonial cultures that had been forcefully installed by the original colonizers. They helped shape what was expected in colonial culture, which included oppressing women and people of color, stigmatizing sexuality outside of procreation, demonizing same-sex relationships, and stressing the meaning of life is serving religious values to be worthy of an afterlife in Heaven. 

When I speak of ‘colonial masculinity’ I’m referring to the concepts valued of: individualism, violence is power, power is owning/dominating others, emotions are weak, and so on characteristics of white, militant, masculinity. When I speak of White Culture in this essay I’m referring to many of the traits highlighted above, but especially the Christian/Catholic, individualistic, patriarchal system, and the gender roles forced along with it. 

Enter pirates. While many historical pirates very much played into the colonial system, continuing patriarchal violence, or profiting off the slave trade- others became a counter-culture (all be it violent) of resistance to the oppressive forces of the enforced colonial culture. Pirating was a space where those who had been deemed powerless or lesser in the colonial hierarchy could potentially reclaim some of that power. 

Unlike other pirate media, which either somehow allies Pirates with the navy forces (The Pirates of the Caribbean franchise) or softens pirates’ violence and deviance to make them more generally palatable (they’re just ‘misunderstood’ or ‘sailing around doing nothing’), or just simply casts pirates as the villains- OFMD makes it clear from the get-go-you are meant to root for these pirates, they’re violent, and they are specifically violent and against the colonizing forces. Our pirates are the protagonists, and the group to empathize with-and we should especially cheer on their violence against the policing systems of colonizing nations. 

The show makes its stance explicitly clear starting in Episode 1. When the English Navy come upon the crew of the Revenge, they’re painted like vicious bullies-forcing the crew of color to pretend to be in servant roles, and subject to their strings of racist remarks and microaggressions. Even our protagonist, Stede, who has been the most privileged and out of place on the ship so far, is subject to bullying and microaggressions for his overt lack of colonial masculinity and queerness. Until the English arrived, the ship was a place of expression, feelings, and camaraderie for the crew. While many were uncomfortable with Stede’s privilege (and lack of skills putting them in danger) and planning mutiny, others such as Oluwande were able to point out it was better than the colonial alternative like the officers who board the ship. 

Before the arrival of the English officers, the only piracy we see the Revenge crew do is against a pair of fisherman-it’s played up for comedy how pathetic of a ‘raid’ this is-but it’s also worth highlighting none of them desire or attempt any violence against the fishermen. However once the English officers go too far with a racist comment-all chaos breaks loose on the ship and we see the first violent acts. Violence is celebrated via comedy against the officers (a knife in his hand!) and unlike Stede’s anxiety toward violence previously, we’re meant to cheer on this violence like our favorite sports team is winning. The show tells us from the beginning: colonizers, specifically colonial policing forces are the enemies here, and we should not pity them, and violence is needed to stop their harm.  

All violence toward colonial officers is scripted as comedy. Colonizers/Police forces are written with an arrogance and entitlement, showcasing how accustomed those with top privilege are to having it-and how reluctant they are to consider giving it up. Whether they’re English, Spanish, Dutch, French, so on, colonizers do not get a pass in OFMD. Nor do they get sympathy or backstory. This is a huge contrast between how we’re meant to view violence against the pirates (Stede getting stabbed, the crew being forcefully tied down to “The Chain” in episode 8) which often begs our sympathy or concern. The show knows who is marginalized and who isn’t. Even though Stede reacts with anxiety to killing the Badmintons, the show takes time to make sure he explicitly states he doesn’t actually feel bad about killing him in particular, because he recognizes what a horrible human being he was: 

And his only guilt, is getting over the idea he is allowed to resist and fight back against the violent system he was raised to support and over-value, whether it is walking away (From his arranged wife and children) or stopping the colonial violence by any means needed (I.e. striking Badminton when he draws his sword in plans to attack Stede’s crew). 

All other characters, whether they are serving as antagonists or not, are given a degree of sympathy/humor even if they’ve committed dubious acts, until they align with colonial militant force. Izzy Hands consistently provokes and antagonizes Stede (And at times Ed) but it’s not until he sells them all out to the English navy Ed punches him across the face and we’ve meant to root for it. Geraldo is the same-once he sells the crew out to the Spanish-he’s shot with no drama by Spanish Jackie herself. Jackie, despite being a force against Jim and Stede at different points, is continuously framed as powerful, interesting, and funny though-because she never aligns with the colonial military and expresses disdain when they enter her bar. Even Calico Jack doesn’t meet his hilarious end until we learn he is complying with Izzy to sell Stede and crew out to the British navy. Once you have aligned yourself with the colonizer in OFMD, your humanity is gone, which is an apt metaphor for the mentality of colonialism that dehumanizes all they conquer. 

The first moment I realized OFMD was a show that rebels against traditional colonial culture, was when we are introduced to the indigenous group in episode 2. Many pirate media pieces have featured run ins with indigenous groups-notably and recently this happened in the second  “Pirates of the Caribbean” films; In an overtly racist sequence which drags on, an indigenous group is displayed as hyper-violent, cannibals, going on in a made-up language meant to other them and ‘intimidate’ the audience. They also exalt a random white man, Jack Sparrow, as their ‘King’ as well, a showcase of white superiority in the writing as well. The indigenous peoples in this film are intensely racist caricatures, that feel straight out of a 1940s Hollywood film as opposed to one made in 2006 (which highlights just how mistreated indigenous groups are in Hollywood to this day). 

(I previously had an image of such scene, but I decided not to subject everyone to the racist imagery but I urge folks to revisit the scene if their memory is hazy to seen the extent of the harm)

The way the indigenous nation is depicted in OFMD feels almost like a direct response to that racism. When their English officer captives go missing, Stede and Pete have dramatic and microaggressive reactions instantly assuming the group are cannibals-only to have it pointed it out the captives are alive and well in a cage nearby. Rightfully so, they’re immediately called out for behaving racistly with the line “Fucking racist”. Further humanity is showcased as Oluwande walks up to the guard holding a drink he was given, as it is made clear the only reason Stede and Pete were caged is because they’re white-and therefore could be colonizers-which have previously attacked the group. The Chief does not shy away from describing the violence previously done to them by colonizers and therefore their reasoning of who they choose to capture vs who they welcome into their homes. 

The indigenous group are also shown as very emotionally intelligent, an older man providing Stede ‘therapy’ after his PTSD episode during their trial. It’s a direct example of counterculture and anti-colonial masculinity, which respects and allows emotional vulnerability vs the colonial society where breakdowns, especially from men, would be met with mocking. Once the chief establishes Stede and Pete have no intention to colonize or attack the group-they’re treated kindly and released. The only kind of ‘violence’ shown by the indigenous group-is the selling of the colonizer hostages to Izzy and his crew-the same thing Stede and crew were going to do. Once again showcasing-colonizers are the only disposable targets in OFMD. Indigenous peoples are treated with humanity, humor, and agency in OFMD, not forced into the ‘stoic native’ or ‘viscous savage’ stereotypes as in previous pirate medias. Which leads us to the show’s most important indigenous representation: Edward Teach. 

While Edward’s indigenous identity isn’t explicitly stated within the dialogue of the show, it’s showcased in flashbacks his mother is an indigenous woman and many of his mannerisms and words seem to harken back to that identity. It can’t be understated how groundbreaking it is to have an indigenous actor (The multi-talented Taika Waititi) get to play a queer leading role and romance, where none of his character arch surrounds previous indigenous stereotypes on screen. It seems many conscious choices were put into the writing that still honor this representation and Waititi’s identity. 

Firstly, being the way Edward talks about colonial religions. One of his first lines in episode four he remarks how the Spanish officers die with “Lots of blubbering for their God”, noting the Catholicism associated with, and used via colonization by the Spanish. It’s significant Edwards says ‘their’ making it clear to the audience he doesn’t subscribe to the same version of a higher power or faith. It’s likely this is a conscious choice of resistance on his part, because in the next episode during a flashback Edward’s mother tells him “It’s God’s Choice” that they are poor, suffering, and subject to his seemingly alcoholic white father. Meaning at some point in his life he chose to reject that ideology handed down to him by colonization.

Edward spaces himself from the idea of a God again in episode 6, warning the Revenge Crew “Be careful what you ask your God for, she might just answer” again denoting he apparently does not believe in any sort of monotheistic God-or at least not one from the colonial sense. His mention of a ‘she’ when referring to God is also a contrast to colonial patriarchal Christianity/Catholicism where God is always described as masculine. It could be insight that perhaps his measure faith has something to do with a divine feminine, or that he simply does not feel the need to honor any structured religion, perhaps we’ll learn more in season 2-either way it is clear Edward has fully rejected colonial religion that was forced on indigenous peoples. 

While we’re given no definitive answer on Edward’s particular faith, we are shown organized religion is often an oppressive force (as it was used to convert indigenous peoples via colonization)-not an inspiring one as is often the case in other forms of media. Jim’s Nana prescribes ‘life is pain’ from the Catholic dogma, and Mary reminds Stede it is because of their ‘vow before God’ they must remain in their unhappy, forced, marriage to one another (much like Edward’s mother is implied to have believed). OFMD showcases colonial religion, when used to restrict a person’s autonomy, can be a tool of a violence. 

Edward’s disdain and confusion toward ‘passive aggression’ while shown for humor, is very significant in Episode 5 which highlights the upper class’s racism. As per the “White Culture” chart passive aggression goes very hand in hand with white culture, as it goes along with ‘preserving harmony’ and ‘fearing open conflict or emotionality’, vs directly confronting other people about their behavior or being open with one’s emotions regarding how they feel in different situations. It’s often why many groups of colors get stereotyped as ‘overemotional’ or ‘fiery’, i.e. Latine/x people-because the culture is more prided on open expression. OFMD does a clever thing calling out one of the more insidious pieces of white culture by zoning in on passive aggressive, because it can also be a tool used to horde power-when disdain is enforced, but never stated openly making it difficult to challenge those in power. Edward's story seems to highlight much of his piracy has intersected with his overt resistance to colonialism, especially when we learn his first act of violence was against his white, abusive father. The scene is one of intense trauma for Edward, but also explicitly shows the audience Edward has done everything he can to shake off the shackles of colonial force within him, and around him-even if it means severing himself from his own family (at least the white side) to escape the abuse.

Much of Edward’s aesthetics and behavior also align with indigenous cultures and customs. Despite mastering pirate masculinity via intimidation and violence-he does not at all seem preoccupied with mastering colonial masculinity, at times letting himself be flamboyant, loud, expressive, playful, and absurd (something Izzy attempts to police him on stating ‘man’s half insane’). It’s clear he has on eyeliner in many scenes (something many men used historically to keep the sun out of eyes), and enjoys dressing up in finery like Stede for the fancy party. There was a clear care in the writer’s room toward his indigenous identity as well-since even when Edward has his beard cut in the military school scene-his hair is left untouched. In many indigenous cultures long hair was typical for men, and in many acts of forced assimilation, cutting their hair was one of the first things done to strip them of their culture. It filled me with so much joy to see Edward’s hair was never cut throughout the series, or treated as a purely ‘colonial feminine’ trait (especially since in the 1700s many men wore their hair long).

Nor is his wearing a colorful robe or singing-until Izzy intervenes in the middle of episode 10. It is inherently queer-because queerness is inherently anti-colonial, but the show expresses that queerness without forcing any character’s behaviors to be dubbed masculine or feminine (as colonial binary would prefer)-they simply just are. Once Izzy acts an enforcer of colonial gender and behavior on Ed (mocking his wearing a silk robe and openly pining for Stede) -he too is treated with the same pitiless violence as other colonizers in the series were by having his toe cut off (after also threatening Edward as well for his lack of Izzy's approved masculinity). OFMD makes it clear, crime and violence can be appropriate when to stop the violence that would eradicate the lives of those who do not conform to colonial systems.

Ed’s, and by extension the rest of the show’s romantic queerness is inherently anti-colonial as well. As the show creators have highlighted, what is special about OFMD is no one has to have a ‘coming out’ moment, or suffer purely because of their queerness. Queerness is as natural as breathing while at sea in OFMD. This aligns with many pre-colonial cultures, where queerness was wholly accepted as a non-issue, and just as normative as heterosexuality. At sea it seems, characters do not need to worry if their desires will be rejected by anyone being exclusively heterosexual. As Taika Waititi put it recently in an interview, everyone on the show is “somewhere on the gay spectrum”. Despite being the most feared and respected as pinnacle of ‘pirate masculinity’ Blackbeard is, that does not at all conflict with his inherent queerness in his presentation and desire toward Stede. 

The relationships in the show are not bound by rigid systems as demanded in colonial society. Lucius and Pete are shown having a sexual relationship before ever declaring any sort of affectionate feelings for one another-something frowned upon in colonial society which urges people to follow the steps of ‘courtship, marriage, sexual relations, family’. Colonialism brought a specific prudery and fear of sexuality, so a space where it is openly celebrated is an act of resistance. Lucius has a victory over Izzy when he retorts “We don’t own each other” after Izzy threatens to tell Pete of Lucius’ other erotic escapades on the ship. This ease with an unstructured relationship is extremely resistant and contrasted to the structured expectations of romance on land. The same can be said for Spanish Jakie’s running joke of having 20 husbands. Jim and Oluwande have a similar contrast displayed, with Jim’s Nana lightly asking if they were married or ‘living in sin’. Indeed marriage is never discussed or passed as a concern between the two of them when they finally kiss and consummate their relationship having sex the first time on screen. Sex is not stigmatized on “The Revenge”-and anyone who attempts to make it so (Izzy) is laughed off immediately.  

Edward and Stede’s relationship is obviously queer, between two men, but their age and status in the relationship happening outside of colonial society add another level of queerness to it. Colonial society set up marriage as an institution regarding the preservation of wealth. That is specifically, as Stede’s Father points out, the transference of goods and security of land staying within families (“Mary has acreage”). Even more specifically, about men owning women, after literally paying for them (a dowry) to produce heirs. OFMD makes it a point to highlight how miserable that form of marriage is, and how limiting it is to all peoples’ happiness (even presumably straight individuals like Mary, who is only happy when she is able to carve out her own romance outside the institution of marriage). Additionally, colonialism often asserted the goal of marriage was parenthood, and parenthood the form of life’s ultimate happiness. It’s remarkable to see with Stede, a positive example of someone realizing parenthood is not their life’s goal, or something he is destined to inherently cherish. By the end of episode 10 his leaving is framed as positive, with his children much closer and connected to Mary’s chosen love Doug, as opposed to Stede. 

In contrast to Stede’s forced colonial role as a husband and father-his relationship with Edward is entirely based on the premise of their growing friendship and romantic attraction to one another. The pair become a couple completely outside of this system-not for the sake of ‘finding someone to marry’ or ‘procreate’ but solely because they fall in love with one another. And it is a love found later in life, as opposed to rushed into via youth like many young people are forced into or feel compelled to do without being fully formed individuals yet. Edward and Stede do not have anything to gain from one another when they culminate their relationship in a kiss, both being stripped of their pirating and societal privileges at the school. Their relationship forms on the sole basis of wanting to spend time together in their absurd world, bound by their own games and rules, no matter where they are. It’s a radical contrast to most love stories on screen, which usually involve young, white, heterosexual couples, who culminate their love by eventually starting families. For Edward and Stede, the culmination is each other-and the adventure they can share, unbound by any system. 

Even the way the colonial forces are defeated when it seems there is no escape, is based on values rejected by white colonial culture. By the end of the season, despite the rocky foundation the Revenge crew began on-they save Stede as a crew. Unlike many other stories with a lone 'hero' who resolves the climax or main antagonist of the story, the English are ultimately resisted because of the crew all chiming in about acts of piracy committed together to save Stede. This directly opposed the foundation of individualism so highlighted in a colonial white mindset as well. Community and found family is what ultimately saves the day.

Stede's 'happy ending' in season 1, is completely abandoning the colonial system that both gave him monetary power-but repressed and exploited his queerness. One can assume his family is some sort of 'newer' money within the show's universe (unlike historical IRL Stede Bonnet) since we see his father doing manual labor and berating Stede that he will get to inherit money as opposed to presumably work for it as his Father did. Despite being born into what should be a system of power a white man, Stede shows demands of colonial culture are too high if one is queer, facing abuse at home and school for it. In episode 10 he severs himself from the abuse of colonialism and is own complacency in it, to fully commit to his counter-culture lifestyle as a pirate-and his queer existence and love. Stede is the audience's POV, because he spends the season straddling the middle, does he continue to uphold and feel guilty about a system that hurt him, but did empower him? Or does he cast off that wealth which came from an abusive system and commit to uncertainty and potential powerlessness for true authenticity? In the end Stede makes the choice we hope he would-'killing' his old self bound to colonial systems and ready to live a life of resistance where his queerness will not lead to the same kind of abuse he suffered.

OFMD frames piracy as a resistant force to the colonial system of the 1700s, and through that resistance a thriving space outside of society where true love and joy can bloom in authentic ways. Crime is seen as positive-and needed- when it is against the colonial or policing system because it rebalances the scales from all colonialism oppressed. What is novel about OFMD is it is not marginalized characters overcoming the odds of their marginalization, it is showing abandoning the world that is built on colonialism can be the path to freedom. It is not queer characters doing their best to blend into, assimilate, and seek acceptance in a hetero-patriarchal colonial world-it is queer characters giving the middle finger to that world and creating their own. It is indigenous characters thriving despite the forces of colonialism. And for one of the first times-their world is shown in bright joy, as opposed to constant struggle. Previous medias showcasing the communities of the marginalized often highlight the some of the true struggle that go on in within those communities due the systemic oppression they've faced-but that representation *only* showcasing struggle can add to the continuous feeling of depression amongst marginalized individuals. Showing those struggles openly-with the genre of comedy-drama, gives hope and resistance to the most marginalized.

OFMD imagines the counterculture to the colonial world as vibrant, communal, and full of laughter-a truly rebellious act to show that choice as joyful as opposed to only full of struggle. It is a radical suggestion from OFMD, that by creating your own structures, communities, and norms, those who have been most repressed and oppressed under the legacies of these systems can find true freedom and joy-and most importantly begin to dismantle the power of colonialism. And perhaps most importantly, OFMD declares, fuck colonialism, and use whatever resistance is needed to stop those who uphold it and its values.

I'm very excited to see what David Jenkins and his incredible diverse writing crew have in store for season 2.

When you’re in full sicko mode and you see your estranged lover from across the raid.

And you’re supposed to be enraged, but your glowing heart eyes betray you.

I was so normal about his border in my podiatrist's office

I love when people see a picture of someone doing something Will Graham would absolutely never be caught dead doing, while holding a Fish and go “that is Will graham. I know this because of the fish”

Lucius' arc this season really went: reunite with boyfriend, be traumatized, push Blackbeard off the ship, work through trauma with art, get engaged, 24 hour sex marathon, run scam with fiancé, get arrested, escape, get married 💕

As I previously stated, I loved 01x05. It was fantastic. It was real. It brought my emotions to the forefront, and I don't get to experience that with much of anything, these days. But, this little misfit family... I feel for all three of these characters, in my own way. (They're fictional, so, yes, I can do that, thanks). Possibly because I have been in each of their positions, in one form or another, throughout my life.

I'm going to get mighty personal with this one, so be warned.

01x05 hit home for me, in a big way. This is a legitimate breakdown of a forced family unit, and that's something I personally feel for. Children have been the Bad Marriage Band-Aid for generations, and I am grateful to the writers for acknowledging it. (Some of us get a little tired of seeing cookie-cutter families, when ours look more like the aftermath of an oven fire, y'know what I mean?). We're getting to see it from all three sides, too, which I find absolutely refreshing. One parent thinks the child will settle the relationship. The other goes along with it, and ends up so blinded by jealousy, there is no middle ground left.

Claudia, though. This girl... She has my heart. Claudia is not to blame for what she was brought into, the absolutely fucked-up relationship that her guardians share. Is she a little shit? Yes. Is she hard-headed? Yes. Unstable, in terms of coming into her own? Yes. But, she is not the cause of her parents' issues. That's a hard thing to overcome as a child brought up under such circumstances, especially when the household arguments are about you. Because, sure, they may be about you, but you did not cause them. Claudia isn't the origin of Louis and Lestat's tensions. She is the excuse to pick a semi-fresh fight. She is the mirror held up in front of the two of them to show them that, "Hey, this isn't right." The product of their unstable union. The best and worst of one another in one person. (Speaking of her vampiric years, not her humanity). That isn't to say that there isn't genuine concern for her, particularly on the part of Louis. Claudia just got caught up in a toxic situation, and it's no wonder she took the hell off. I'm not surprised which parent's side she took, either. (Then again, are any of us?).

Louis and Lestat are... Well, I feel less for the two of them. Some years ago, I was in a relationship with similar features, so I think what I am experiencing is that mirror (minus the children). I will first say that nothing - nothing - excuses abuse. I've seen it. I've experienced it. Hell, I'm guilty of it. I also acknowledge that abuse takes many forms. I see it in Lestat's constant manipulations. I see it in Louis' repeated threats to leave. Louis withholding intimacies (not just sexual). Lestat playing his little one-sided What's Good for the Goose game, in terms of monogamy. They both know what they are doing to one another, they know the reactions they will trigger, yet they keep doing it. It's an ugly, ugly cycle, and it won't end until one of them cuts the damned cord. Breaks the chain. (I don't exactly advocate that they do so through violence, but). Walking away isn't easy, fuck knows it isn't. There's truth to the notion that things need to hit rock bottom before they can get better.

No one is asking to be abused. That isn't what I'm getting at. My point is that these two are so completely caught up in trying to hurt one another, blame one another, and sabotage the other from the inside out, they ignore what it is doing to their charge. They know she can hear them fighting, and they carry on. Falling victim to The Pattern is part of the cycle, and it is likely to be passed on to Claudia. This whole situation is toxic. This is abuse. This is co-dependent. Everybody sucks, here. (Sorry, I had to). And, by golly, I will be here for it until the bitter end.

Y'know. God-willing.

P.S. I'll happily clarify anything that sounds shitty, if need be. I'm rattling this off at work, between what I should be doing, so. Y'know.